Chapter Twenty-Eight
Daylight flooded the room. Lisa blinked. It was bright, too bright. With her mum’s penchant for lined curtains, waking to the harsh light of morning wasn’t something Lisa was used to. She squinted, attempting to take in her unfamiliar and overly illuminated surroundings. Oh God! She was not in her own room. Her eyes flashed open as realisation dawned. She was not in her own bed and she was not alone. Wincing as much from the realisation as the light, Lisa attempted to gather her thoughts. She was in Nathan’s room, in Nathan’s bed. Nathan Baker’s bed!
Lisa felt the weight of his arm across her back, warm and muscular, skin to skin. She listened to his breathing. He was sleeping. Thoughts of the night before drifted into her head. It was all so unguarded, so unlike her; letting herself go had seemed like a good idea. It certainly felt like a bloody good idea at the time. But now … now she was naked in Nathan’s bed without a clue what it all meant or what to do next.
Lying still, listening to the rhythmic sound of Nathan’s breathing, Lisa began to question her actions. The night had been … well, it had been amazing, but what did it mean for her … for Nathan? Was it a one off? ‘For old times’ sake,’ Nathan had said when he had asked her out. Was that true of the whole evening? Let’s see the parade for old times’ sake, let’s watch the fireworks for old times’ sake and let’s just do it once more for old times’ sake?
Hours ago, a night of fun was exactly what she wanted … but with Nathan? For her the night had been perfect, they had relaxed, laughed, and trusted in each other as they had in the four years they’d dated as teenagers. But what if he didn’t feel the same? She tried to stop her mind racing, closed her eyes and took a steadying breath before slowly turning round. Nathan’s arm slipped to her waist.
Lisa looked at Nathan sleeping. It occurred to her that she had never spent the whole night with him before; her parents would never have allowed that when she was a teenager – such was their conviction that they’d only get up to ‘no good’ if they spent the night together, little did they know. But, now, here she was in Nathan’s flat, all grown up, spending the night and feeling more confused than she ever had back then.
Nathan was a good-looking sleeper. Lisa studied his face, looking at the angle of his jaw, the stubble she had felt rub against her body, his closed eyes revealing long dark lashes, his lips … Lisa swallowed as she recalled the feel of those lips on her body. His hair was ruffled; she dreaded to think what her own hair looked like, but she was sure he was pulling off the bed-hair look better than she was. Her eyes ran to his broad shoulders and chest. She had run her hands all over the contours of that chest as they had moved and flexed together. She had to stop herself touching it again. She wondered about looking under the sheet and cream marl throw that covered them from the waist down, but didn’t dare for fear of waking him up and being caught. A vision of him, all of him, in front of the glowing fire drifted into her mind; bloody hell!
Knowing she needed clarity, to clear her mind and gain some perspective on the situation she was now in, she decided to get up, go to the bathroom, freshen up and get a glass of water; anything to give her a moment to get her head together.
Slipping from under Nathan’s arm and out of his bed Lisa suddenly felt extremely exposed. Being naked in front of someone seemed very different in the cold light of day than it did in the throes of passion in front of a glowing fire in a dimly lit room. And she really didn’t want to start any awkward morning-after conversation while still in the buff. She glanced round the room. Unable to locate her clothes, she hoped to find a top of Nathan’s to slip on. Unfortunately, there was not a single item of discarded clothing to be seen, and she could hardly rummage in his closet or drawers; being caught doing that would be worse than being caught naked – well, almost!
As Lisa pondered her predicament, Nathan turned and stretched. Without thinking she dived to the floor and held her breath, her ears pinned as she listened for his breathing to steady again as he stopped moving. Her eyes met Uno’s as he peered curiously out from under the bed and she automatically placed her finger to her lips. What the hell am I doing? She saw herself, as if having an out of body experience – bottom up, face to the floor, urging the cat to be quiet – and hoped desperately that Nathan wouldn’t wake up. Eventually, daring to peek above the line of the bed, she saw he was still sleeping and let out a breath. Spotting the duvet on the floor – they’d abandoned in the heat of the night – she pulled it over herself. Not wanting to stand and risk waking Nathan, she set about crawling out of the room – with the duvet draped over her she felt like an oversized witchetty grub. Once clear of the bedroom, she stood up, wrapped the duvet round herself and shuffled into the living room. She saw their wine glasses on the hearth; the memory of Nathan’s cool mouth, from the chilled wine, on her body did nothing to help her focus.
Spotting her clothes, she gathered them up. Still huddled in the duvet, Lisa looked out of the window. The reality of the morning after was a stark contrast to the magic of the night before. Council workers were picking up the litter left by those who had watched the bonfire and fireworks. The fire, now largely a pile of ash and charred embers, was smouldering on the green. The hot dog and other stands were packed up ready for the off.
Lisa sighed and headed for the bathroom. Deciding to get a drink of water en route, she wandered into the kitchen. Leaning across the counter for a glass, she couldn’t help but see Nathan’s phone flash with a message. It was plugged in, discarded on the side. She didn’t mean to look; it was an automatic reaction. But seeing the message was from Pete, the word ‘Flick’ calling to her from the screen, she couldn’t help but look. She picked the phone up. Her heart pounding, she stared in disbelief, trying to take the words in before the message disappeared from the screen:
Thanks for keeping quiet, mate. I’ll tell Flick soon. It’ll be easier for us all then.
What? She didn’t know exactly what the message meant, but she knew she didn’t like it. It was Pete and he was talking about Flick; her Flick, it had to be. It was hardly a common name. ‘Tell Flick soon’, tell Flick what soon? Lisa remembered Flick saying that Pete had been working extra hours at Cin Cin; why? And Nathan, Nathan had dismissed Flick when she asked him if he knew Pete. Why would he lie? What are they hiding? Lisa chewed at her lip as she remembered that Pete had changed his plans about going to the fireworks with Flick, suddenly having to work … She didn’t like it. She didn’t like lies and she didn’t like the fact that these lies seemed to be pointing to something that might hurt Flick.
She thought about watching Pete and Flick together the night she had stayed over, they seemed so happy, but could it all have been fake? To the outside world, she and Ben had looked like a happy couple, but nobody knew the reality of their relationship; she barely knew it herself at the time! But Pete had made a point of saying how fragile Flick was since her mum’s death. It didn’t make sense. He had made a point of saying how important it was for her not to lose someone else. Lisa thought it over, she couldn’t remember exactly how he had phrased it, but maybe he meant as well as him. Lisa didn’t want to believe he was hiding anything bad; Pete and Flick seemed so right together. Lisa tried to think what it was Flick had said about their sex life, but couldn’t remember. If only she hadn’t been drunk when they’d had that conversation, maybe Flick had been trying to tell her something important and she hadn’t paid full attention. God, I am a shit friend!
Feeling cold, despite the fact she had drawn the duvet closer around herself, Lisa headed straight for the bathroom. Desperate to be gone before Nathan woke up, she moved quickly. She needed to be out of his flat. She needed to think this all through. Something was going on and she didn’t know what, but she didn’t like it. Her mind churned it all over repeatedly; her relationship with Flick was still too fragile for her to wade in with unfounded suspicions, but she also didn’t want to let her friend down if there was something going on she needed to know, or in fact should know.
By the time she reached the flat door, Lisa’s heart was pounding; with every moment she lingered she risked Nathan waking up. Uno appeared from the living room, meowing he rubbed himself against her legs, lifting his front paws in an effort to get her attention. She stroked his head. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve got to go,’ she whispered. Lisa found her jacket, boots, hat and gloves. Not stopping to put them on, she slipped outside and slowly – trying not to make too much noise – closed the door behind her. Realising, with all of the stairs to go, she was still very much in Nathan’s building, Lisa started on the too-long trek down to the ground floor. By the second flight of stairs she had wriggled into her boots and by the final flight she was also in her jacket. Once her feet hit the ornately tiled floor of the hallway she stuffed her hat into her pocket and got outside as quickly as she could.
Lisa shut the door and paused, taking a breath. Like her, the world seemed to have a severe case of ‘the morning after’ about it. The sky was grey and the breeze was cold. Wrapping her scarf around herself, she set off for home.