Chapter 15
Friday night Tyler could hardly keep his eyes open during dinner and left Lauren’s immediately after. Saturday he texted saying he wasn’t feeling great so he’d meet them at church in order to sleep later on Sunday. He was on Lauren’s mind and heart all day.
Tyler called the next morning when she and David were halfway to church in a limo.
“How are you?” she asked.
“I’m not going to make it.” Tyler’s cough interrupted his sentence.
“Are you okay?”
Another cough, followed by a sigh. “Feel worse today than yesterday. I coughed almost all night. We’re supposed to finish filming my scenes next week.”
“I’ve been praying.” Lauren handed David his teething ring, which he immediately shoved into his mouth. “I’ll keep praying. Drink lots of liquids, take your vitamins, and have chicken noodle soup for lunch.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Tyler coughed once more. “Give David a kiss for me.”
Lauren headed to the cafe to get her peppermint mocha once they arrived. Holding David in his carrier with one hand, she texted Shelly using the other.
Coming to second service?
Shelly’s reply came quickly. Sorry, attended first. Spending the day Christmas shopping. Told Danny for the price of lunch I’d help him pick out presents for his sisters. :)
Have fun. Lauren slipped her phone in her pocket, half wishing she’d stayed at home.
“Lauren? Lauren Riley?”
Swiveling, she ended up face-to-face with a sandy-blonde-haired man in his thirties. The fact that he wore a long-sleeved shirt and tie with his blue jeans caused her to think he was church staff.
“Thought that was you.”
“Hi.” She smiled.
“How are you?”
“Good.” The awkward pause grew while Lauren searched her mind for who he was.
“Thomas.” He extended his hand. “Head of the youth department.”
“Right.” Lauren remembered meeting him two-and-a-half years ago when he came on staff. “How’s youth?”
“Packed every weekend. Funny I ran into you. Your name came up on Friday.”
“It did?” Lauren furrowed her brow, wondering why people were talking about her.
“Paul Montgomery applied to volunteer in the junior high ministry. He listed you and Tyler Stevens as references.”
Lauren moved forward in line. “Paul’s a great guy. I loved teaching him on the set years ago. So neat to see how God has been working in his life the past six years.”
“His testimony included how yours and Tyler’s authenticity helped him see the need for more than fame and fortune.”
“It’s all the Lord. And the prayers of his mother. She was the first in the family to accept Christ while I was doing a Bible study with them.”
“This must be David.” Thomas peeked into the carrier at her sleeping son.
“Yes.” Lauren pulled back the cover. “My little miracle baby.”
“Another prayer answered.” Thomas followed Lauren as the line moved forward. “The staff has prayed daily for you both since June.”
“I appreciate that.” Moving to the counter, Lauren ordered her drink.
“Please.” Thomas stepped up beside her. “My treat.”
“Thanks.” She progressed to the hand-off bar, keeping an eye on him. He complimented the cashier on her handwriting, smiled and waved to the barista, and greeted the man behind him before joining her.
He’s so social and outgoing, like Adam was—
“I’m sorry for your loss.” His green eyes met hers. “I didn’t know Adam very well, but I could tell he had a heart for the Lord and helping others.”
“I’m getting by, day by day.”
“It might feel like you’re barely getting by, but your testimony of overcoming depression is inspiring. God is obviously working in your life.”
“You were there?”
“I was.” Thomas handed Lauren her drink when the barista set it on the counter. “God gave me a vision a year ago of the church hosting a city-wide youth rally. Bands, food, games, and a few speakers. Your testimony could be life changing for many teens. I would love to talk to you about it—”
“Sure,” Lauren interrupted. It had been a long time since someone had shown interest in her beyond offering sympathies. “Today would work.”
His shocked expression told her the invitation surprised him as well.
“Maybe we could get lunch after service.” She adjusted the diaper bag on her shoulder. “There’s a Mexican place we go to. It’s casual and quiet.”
“I love Mexican food.” He reached for his drink. “Did you want to wait around a bit after church or should I meet you there?”
“I could wait if you don’t mind driving us. We took a car in today.” They headed out of the cafe together. “David should be awake and hungry by then. I could feed him in Gina’s office and wait for you there.”
“Perfect.” Thomas took the handle of David’s carrier. “Let me help you. I’m headed that direction.”
Lauren tried paying attention in church, but thoughts of Thomas distracted her.
He’s only being polite. Why would he be interested in a widow with a child?
She recalled how he looked at her. Not with pity or sympathy, but respect. Though she appreciated compliments of Adam’s life and ministry, she tired of how people treated her. Inside Lauren felt broken, but she didn’t need others reminding her of it with their comments and looks.
I want to have friends who look beyond that. I need friends who enjoy being around me, who I can do things with. Build new memories.
Realizing she missed the first point of the pastor’s sermon, she began to open the Bible app on her phone. Instead, she texted Tyler.
You watching Livestream? Praying you feel better.
When a response didn’t come, Lauren opened up her Bible app to Daniel. No sooner did she find the chapter and verse than her thoughts pulled her away again.
Should I tell Tyler about going to lunch with Thomas? She doodled in the margin of her note sheet. I don’t know why it would matter. We’re only friends, but after last week’s conversation about dating, I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. She paused. I mean, it’s not a date.
The word made her stomach turn. Her eyes wandered from her bare ring finger to the empty seat beside her. A year ago Adam was with her, holding on.
God, I’m not dating. I don’t know that I’ll ever be ready for that.
Lauren was thankful for the distraction of chatting with Gina while she fed David following service, but the moment Thomas poked his head in, her heart began to pound.
“Ready when you are,” he said with a smile.
“Oh.” Gina glanced between the two of them. “Are you two going out?”
“For lunch.” Lauren stood. “Thomas wanted to talk about having a youth rally, with me sharing on depression.”
Thomas flung her diaper bag over one shoulder and grabbed the carrier with his free hand. “We’re off.”
“Bye. Have fun.” The look on Gina’s face affirmed what Lauren dreaded. They were going on a date.
I can’t believe I’m in a complete stranger’s car, she thought climbing into the passenger’s seat while Thomas buckled in David. She surveyed the inside of the black sedan. A pack of gum and a soda cup from a burger place were in the cup holders, two CDs on the floor of the passenger side. Picking them up, Lauren recognized both of the bands.
“Have you heard them?” Thomas asked, getting into the driver’s seat.
“We saw them in concert.” Lauren placed the cases in the center console. “Great Christians.”
Thomas smiled. “Of course you’ve met them. Backstage passes and all that?”
“Yeah.” She placed a hand on her knee to keep it from shaking. “Tell me about the youth ministry.”
“We average fifty to seventy-five each service.” Thomas pulled out of the parking lot. “Close to a hundred on Wednesday nights. I have about a dozen volunteers, so we split into small groups for discussion and prayer at the end of every message.”
“You do all the teaching?” Lauren asked.
“A lot of it. There are a couple others who fill in from time to time, getting their feet wet before they attend seminary.”
Lauren found it easy to listen to Thomas. As he spoke about volunteers, she realized she knew most of them. It was comfortable, like the days of talking about ministry with Adam. Her breathing slowed and she relaxed in the seat.
The hostess at the Mexican restaurant greeted Lauren with a smile until she saw Thomas. Then her eyebrows narrowed.
“Three?” She peered past them.
“Two,” Lauren replied. “And my baby.”
“You need a menu?” she asked Thomas shortly.
“Um, yes, please.”
Walking them to the back corner table, the hostess dropped the menu on the table before leaving.
“Hopefully the food is better than the customer service.” Thomas straightened his tie.
“We’ve been coming here so long, we know the menu by heart.” Lauren shifted in her seat. “I’m sure that’s why she asked. They’re actually really nice.”
“You and Adam came here a lot?”
“And Tyler. Every Sunday we’d rotate between Chinese, Mexican, and Italian.”
Thomas nodded. “What do you recommend?”
“The enchiladas are tasty and so are the fajitas. Tyler loves their burritos.”
The busboy froze as he started to place the water in front of Thomas. “Mr. Stevens coming?” he asked Lauren.
“Not today.” Lauren smiled politely. “Could I get a diet soda, please?”
“For you?” he questioned.
“Yes, for me.” Lauren looked to Thomas. “Anything to drink?”
“I’ll have a diet soda too, please.”
“Hello.” The waitress greeted them cheerfully a few minutes later, but as soon as she saw Thomas, she turned to Lauren. “Mr. Stevens is coming separately?”
“Not today.” Lauren felt her face heating up.
“Miss Turner? Mr. Morton?”
“Only us. I’d like cheese enchiladas.”
“No beans?”
“No beans,” Lauren confirmed.
“And you?”
Lauren slouched in the booth at the waitress’s harsh tone towards Thomas.
“I’ll have the chicken enchiladas.” Thomas closed his menu.
“All rice, no beans?”
“I’m fine with both rice and beans.” He handed it to her. Jerking it from his hand, the waitress hurried away.
Thomas leaned forward once the waitress was out of earshot. “I take it Tyler doesn’t like beans either.”
“Not really. Adam did.” Lauren folded her hands. “Tell me about yourself and your family.”
Born a Texan, Thomas told stories about being the son of a pastor, the great faith of his parents, and miracles he witnessed from childhood into adulthood.
“Did you always want to be a pastor?” She lifted David from his carrier when he awoke.
“I went through a rebellious stage in my late teens, early twenties. Thought I wanted more for my life than ministry. I started college as an engineering major, but hated it. I realized I was going that direction out of spite, not wanting to follow in my father’s footsteps. Sophomore year I started praying for guidance. I transferred the following year to seminary.” He sipped his water. “Right after I graduated I went overseas to Brazil. Worked there for eighteen months, first as an assistant pastor, then leading a small congregation.”
“I’ve never been to Brazil.” Lauren allowed David to chew her finger when he started fussing. “I bet that was exciting.”
Thomas nodded. “It was. The best years of my life.”
“Why come back?”
“I’d been there a year when I started training a young man to be my assistant. He was native with a heart for the people and the Lord. I figured I was training him to send him out to open a new church. Then my dad had a heart attack.”
“Oh,” Lauren gasped. “I’m sorry.”
“He ended up healthier than he was before. But when I returned home, I realized I couldn’t be so far away. I’m an only child, so I needed to be here to take care of them.”
He’s an only child like me. “They still live in Texas?”
“No, here.” Thomas smiled. “They moved four years ago after Dad retired to be closer to my mom’s sister. I applied for a few pastor positions in smaller cities a couple hours away, but when the youth position opened, it seemed a good fit. I’ve always had a passion for youth and I appreciate the mission of this church. It’s important for all to worship the Lord and glorify Him with their gifts and talents.”
The first time Adam led worship came to her mind. He lit up as he sang for the Lord. That’s when he truly found what he was made to do. She couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, it is.”
It was refreshing when Thomas asked her about herself. She shared her childhood, the seasonal struggle with depression, and ministry work with Adam. Thomas listened intently, only averting his eyes when she situated David under a blanket to feed him.
“I’d like to pay today.” He removed his wallet after the busboy cleared the table.
“Oh.” Lauren frowned. “Um, well, I guess we don’t pay.”
“What do you mean?”
Lauren zipped her diaper bag. “They haven’t brought a check to the table in years. Maybe they bill me.”
“How would you not know if they bill you?”
“I have an accountant who takes care of everything.” She lifted David in his carrier.
“Oh. That’s nice.”
Look at you, Little Miss Rich Girl. Not a financial care in the world. The thoughts made her feel so uncomfortable she headed for the door. Nice going, flaunting that to a pastor who makes less than your assistant...
They drove in silence for several minutes before Lauren spoke. “Sorry if that comment seemed conceited.”
“No reason to apologize.” She found acceptance in his eyes. “I know you’re a good steward and obviously Adam was. God blesses those who put Him first in every area of their life. I can’t imagine such a life of wealth, but that doesn’t make it wrong.”
“I struggle to make it through each day as most people do. Difference is I don’t have to clean or worry about money.” Lauren’s phone played Tyler’s text tone.
Hot and sour soup with a long nap seems to be doing the trick. Sinuses draining. Starting to feel better already. :)
Glad to hear, Lauren replied.
“Tyler?” Thomas asked.
“Yes. He’s sick.” She shifted her eyes to Thomas.
“How long have you known him?”
Finally, a person who doesn’t know, or care, about our history. “Almost nine years. My dad installed his pool. He and Adam were best friends, like brothers really.”
“From what Pastor said, sounds like he was a great support when you were in the hospital.”
“He was by my side the entire time.” Lauren glanced back at David. “He’s great with David. Even volunteered in the church nursery before little guy was born to get practice with babies.”
“I had a great time.” Thomas walked her to her front door. “Thanks for lunch.”
“Glad you joined us.” She unlocked the door and stepped inside.
Thomas set David in his car seat beside the sofa in the living room. “I’d like to call you sometime.”
“Sure, about the youth event?” Lauren dropped her bag on the couch.
“And maybe to go out. Get to know each other even better.” He smiled. “But next time I insist on paying.”
Lauren searched his face. His genuine smile and the tenderness in his eyes told her he cared, but could she? God, I don’t want to date, I can’t... She took a deep breath. He’s nice. I had fun, but he’s not—
“Do you mind?” Thomas removed his phone from his pocket.
“Thanks, but I can’t.” She shifted her eyes to David and then back to Thomas. “I can’t give my heart away.”
Lauren’s phone began to ring, Tyler’s name and photo flashing on the screen.
“Of course, because you already have.” He nodded toward the phone. “Tyler’s a fortunate man. I’ll email dates for the event after I meet with the youth department. Good-bye, Lauren.” He shut the door behind him.
Shaking her head, Lauren answered her phone.
“Hi.” Tyler cleared his throat. “Are you busy? Thought maybe you could fill me in on church since I fell asleep during worship.”
Lauren lifted David. “You sinner.”
“I know. So, what did Pastor teach on today?”
“Well,” Lauren went to the family room with David, “the main scripture was in Galatians, I think. Maybe Ephesians.” She sat on the sofa. “But we were in Daniel for a while. Chapter six maybe.”
Tyler laughed, then started coughing. “You were there and can’t remember? You’re an even bigger sinner.”
Lauren kissed David’s hand as he grabbed at her mouth. “I had coffee before and may have forgotten to order decaf. Guess I was distracted.”
“Probably thinking about me, missing me desperately.”
“Yes, that’s it. You’re feeling better?”
“I am. Had a double batch of hot and sour soup delivered at lunch, so I’m set for dinner. You guys go out?”
“Yeah.” She kicked off her shoes. “Hey, why don’t we get a bill at the Mexican restaurant?”
Tyler chuckled. “Was wondering when you’d ask. Years ago Adam got tired of fighting over the bill. He gave them his card number and told them to run it every time we went.”
“Oh.” David grabbed the teething ring from Lauren’s hand. “I think Shel cancelled all his cards. I should call them—”
“I switched it to mine before he died.” Tyler coughed. “You go there today?”
“Yes. Guess I owe you.”
“I never mind buying you lunch.”
“Well, it wasn’t just me.”
“Shel and Danny go?”
“Not exactly.” She bit her lip.
“What?” Tyler asked after a minute of silence. “Did you take some hot guy out?”
Closing her eyes, Lauren shook her head. “The head of youth, Thomas. He’s talking about setting up a youth rally and wants me to share my testimony.”
“Great.”
“Is there anything else you take care of without me knowing?” Lauren didn’t want to be rude, but she wanted to know. I need to be taking care of myself.
“Don’t think so. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything.” She heard him yawn. “So, think little man would enjoy looking at Christmas lights if we took him or should we plan a night out on the motorcycle while your dad babysits?”
“Think that’s a bit much for him since he goes to bed at six thirty. Maybe if you feel better next week you can take me to see your movie and we can look at lights after?”
“Sounds perfect.” He yawned again. “Being sick is hard work. Guess I need another nap.”
Lauren rubbed David’s belly. “Rest up, drink lots of water, and call me tomorrow.”
“I will.”
As soon as she hung up the phone, Thomas’s comment came to mind.
“God, I like the relationship Tyler and I have. I don’t want anything to change, but show me if I’m holding him back. I don’t want to prevent him from finding the person You have for him.”