Chapter 37
The task seemed simple—fill the donate boxes with items to give away and the keep boxes with items to move. But standing in the middle of her closet after David went down for his nap, Lauren became overwhelmed to the point of tears. Every dress had a memory, a story about purchasing it and wearing it. Purging jewelry was worse. She remembered the anniversary, birthday, or holiday connected to each piece.
God, I’m starting a new life with Tyler. How can I keep all this? A heaviness grew in her chest. How can I continue to live, and move on, with all the memories?
The picture on top of her jewelry chest of her and Adam dancing at their wedding reception caught her eye. Lifting it, she dropped to her knees, chest tightening and the sobbing began.
The front door opened and she heard Tyler call her name.
I’m in my room, she texted.
“Lauren?” Tyler said entering the bedroom.
“In the closet.”
“Hey. What’s going on?” He knelt beside her.
“I was packing. But I don’t know what to pack. Everything has memories attached.” The air in the closet seemed to be disappearing. “Even my clothes.”
“So?” Tyler rubbed her back.
“I want to start over.” She struggled to breathe. “Me and you. Us.”
“We are starting over, but that doesn’t mean you have to leave everything behind. I mean, we’re taking the piano—”
“No, we aren’t.” Lauren vigorously shook her head. “I told you that.”
Tyler frowned. “We have to. It’s part of David’s heritage.”
“It’s a musical instrument.” The pain in her chest grew. “A really big one. It’ll take up half the living room.”
Tyler slipped his arm around her waist. “I’m excited to be David’s dad,” he whispered, causing her to strain to hear his words. “I can’t wait to teach him all I know. But I also can’t wait to teach him about his father, what a wise and talented man he was. When he’s older, we’ll have him take piano lessons. See if he has a gift or interest in music.”
Resting her face in her hands, she told herself to breathe. If I could just let it all go, leave it behind. God, I need to forget—
“What is it, Angel?”
Swallowing hard, she handed him the picture. “I want to leave it all behind. The pain, the sorrow.”
Glancing at the photo, he smiled. “I love this picture of you. You’re adorable when you laugh.” He placed it back in her hands. “Leave the pain and sorrow. Take the happy memories.”
She bit her lip. “I love you. I do.”
He brushed his hand against her cheek. “And you love Adam. That’s okay. I don’t need you to forget your past. I want you to keep the joyous memories and share them with David.” He kissed the top of her head. “I don’t want to forget Adam, either. He was an amazing man. Had to be to put up with me all those years.”
Lauren reclined on Tyler’s chest. “What if David doesn’t want to play piano?”
“Then we let him sell it when he’s old enough so he can have a nice down payment on a house.”
Lauren laughed, interlocking her fingers with his. “You always know how to make me laugh.”
“That’s because you’re my favorite person.” He kissed the top of her head. “Let’s do this together.” He stood, pulling her to her feet. “I’ll hold it up and you tell me keep or toss. And by toss I mean donate or give it away.” He held up a black, knee-length formal. “Keep or toss?”
Lauren frowned. “I always liked that one. It’s a size too small, but if I lose more weight—”
“Toss it!” Tyler flung it in the donate box. “Let’s start there. Anything that doesn’t fit, too big or too small, you toss.”
“But—”
“No buts. Only clothes that fit. I insist. We’ll find good homes for them. I promise.” He pulled a long, mauve, short-sleeved dress from the closet. “Keep or toss?”
“That’s one of my favorite teacher dresses.”
“It’s cute. Does it fit?”
“I haven’t worn it in a few years.”
Tyler dropped it in the giveaway box and grabbed a blue formal. “Ah, I always loved this one.”
“Well,” Lauren smirked, “it doesn’t fit right now.”
“But you’ll get back into it, right?”
“I bought that years ago to go to a banquet with Adam.”
“I know.” Tyler raised his eyebrows. “That was the night you texted me and I met you at Adam’s club for Shelly’s birthday.”
A sly smile appeared on Lauren’s lips as she ran her hands down his chest. “When you still loved me.”
Tyler caressed her cheek. “I’ve always loved you, Angel. Never stopped, not for a moment.”
“But I was married to Adam. And then we were best friends.”
“The bestest of friends.” Tyler gently kissed her lips. “But I still loved you.”
Peering into his eyes, she saw total love and devotion. “You know, I was praying God would bring you the perfect woman. A godly, Christian woman.”
“He did.” Tyler smiled.
“I’m not all that.”
“You are.” He slipped his hands around her waist, pulled her closer. “And more.” He kissed her gently, but passionately. When they parted, he tossed it in the keep it box. “Let’s move on to the next one.”
David began yelling for Lauren about the time they finished with the closet. Tyler took him downstairs as she finished. Lifting the photo of her and Adam, she placed it inside the keep it box closest to her before taping it. She glanced around the empty closet, only enough clothes hanging to make it through the week.
Lots of good memories, she thought surveying the boxes. Four to give away, two to keep. I may be giving away material objects, but I’ll always have the memories.
“Thank You, Jesus, for the memories.” She patted the top of the box. “I lifted up my sorrow to You. Please leave me with happy memories.”
They walked through their new house the next day, hand in hand, reading the prayers and verses on the floor in each room—five bedrooms, an office, a workout room, living room, family room, dining room, and kitchen. Each scripture encouraged her heart. With each prayer she read, her faith soared. This was the life God had for her. A lifetime with Tyler, ministering to others, raising David, loving one another.
The painter joined them a few hours later. After discussing color schemes for each room, the painter followed them throughout the house, taking notes on which scripture to paint in each room.
“I was thinking something about love for here.” Lauren pulled out her phone when they entered the family room. “What about 1 Corinthians 13:1-4?”
“That’s kind of long, don’t you think?” Tyler said when she finished reading. He took his phone from his pocket. “What about something from Romans 12? Maybe verses 9 and 10. ‘Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.’”
Lauren nodded. “Yeah, that’s good.”
They entered the dining room next.
“I was thinking scriptures from the Last Supper.” Lauren scrolled to the end of Matthew. “Like Jesus being the bread—”
“Acts 2:42 says, ‘All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals, including the Lord’s Supper, and to prayer.’” Tyler looked from his phone to her. “That about sums it up, don’t you think?”
“Sure.” Lauren sighed.
“I love Deuteronomy 6:4-9,” she told them as they walked up the stairs. “You know, ‘The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands—’”
Tyler leaned back to take in the wall space. “I don’t think we can fit five verses on there.” He stroked his chin. “Since it’s by the stairs, let’s do the one about a deer’s feet.” He did a quick search in his Bible app. “Habakkuk 3:19. ‘The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.’”
Lauren folded her arms across her chest. It wasn’t a competition and his verses were great, but she had spent hours praying and searching the scriptures for ideas.
“Is that okay?” Tyler asked.
“Perfect.” She forced a smile, deciding to just go along with what Tyler said.
The painter scribbled notes as Tyler chose the verses in the office and workout room. James 1:5 above the desk: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you,” and 1 Timothy 4:8 on the main wall of the workout room: “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”
“Little man’s room,” Tyler said as they entered David’s room. “Any ideas?”
The painter shifted his attention to Lauren.
Lauren glanced at her note on her phone. “2 Timothy 1:7?”
Tyler smiled when he read it aloud. “‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.’(NLT) That’s perfect.”
“I get to choose this one.” Lauren walked confidently into their bedroom.
“You do?” Tyler raised a brow.
“Yes.” She narrowed her eyes at Tyler. “No arguing.”
Lifting his hands, Tyler took a step back.
“Song of Songs 6:3,” she said to the painter. “I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine.”
Tyler wrapped his arms around her waist and gently kissed her neck. “Counting the days.”
Lauren closed her eyes. “So am I.”
They were walking out the front door when the painter called to them. “What about the living room? I don’t have anything for in here.”
Tyler paused, surveying the room. “Well, the piano will go over there.” He pointed to the corner.
A verse instantly came to her mind, one she had memorized over a year before. “Revelation 21:4. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.’” (NLT)
“Perfect.” Tyler nodded. “I think we’ve created the perfect home.”
“Me, too.” Lauren took his hand.