Chapter 14
“Are you Tyler? Tyler Stevens?”
Tyler lifted his eyes from his phone at the sound of the timid female voice. A fan hadn’t approached him at church in almost three weeks, so he expected it to happen soon.
“I am.” He stood, extending his hand to the young woman with long red hair. “You are?”
“Bailey.” Dimples appeared as she smiled. “My brother, Kolby, attended your acting center.”
Examining her face, he saw the resemblance. “Kolby, my creative cameraman. How’s he?”
“Great.” Bailey pushed her hair behind her ears. “He’s great. Left for college a few months ago.” She wrung her hands in front of her. “I wanted to thank you for the work you do with your ministry. You truly changed my brother’s life. When I moved home four years ago, he was an atheist.”
Tyler raised an eyebrow. “Kolby? He was one of my biggest prayer warriors last season. When he wasn’t behind the camera, he was praying for others. Even for me several times.”
“We weren’t raised in a Christian home. He’s the youngest of the six of us, so when he fell into the wrong crowd in junior high, I think my parents were a little too overwhelmed and exhausted to do anything.”
“Six kids, huh?” Tyler’s eyes grew. “Wow.”
Bailey chuckled, pushing her hair back again. “Yes, and I’m the oldest. I wasn’t as close to him as I was the others. At sixteen I was more interested in getting my driver’s license and a job than helping with diapers and feedings.”
“Yeah, diapers aren’t the funnest,” Tyler said, thinking about the dozens he had changed in the past five months.
“I came to Christ while attending college in Texas. I prayed for my whole family, but especially Kolby when I moved back after graduation. He was smoking marijuana, had no drive or interest in anything. The one thing he would do was go to the movies with me. When I read about your foundation, I convinced him to try it his junior year. He enjoyed going, but mocked yours and Danny’s faith. I kept praying. Then he made that mini-documentary of you.” She returned to wringing her hands. “He admitted to me his true motive was to expose your hypocrisy. After watching your early films, he didn’t think there was any way you were a true Christian. Instead, he found authentic faith. He accepted Christ last Christmas.”
Tyler found himself speechless. His only desire back then was to do something good. Help teens and have fun—
“I’ll let you go.” Bailey took a step back. “I just wanted to say thank you. I see you sitting here every week and have wanted to let you know what a blessing you and the ministry have been. I pray for you often.”
Tyler smiled weakly. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“Hi.” Lauren suddenly appeared beside Tyler with David in his carrier.
“Bailey, this is my friend, Lauren. And her son, David.”
“Nice to meet you.” Bailey shook her hand, then peeked at David sleeping. “He’s precious.”
“Thank you. He can be a handful when he’s hungry or tired, but he’s definitely a blessing.”
“Bailey is Kolby’s sister,” Tyler told Lauren as he grabbed his Bible from the chair. “Remember Kolby, the teen who made that video of me last December?”
“I do.” Lauren glanced at Tyler, then back to Bailey. “You should join us for lunch. We were going out for Mexican today.”
“Oh no.” She looked down. “I don’t want to intrude.”
“You wouldn’t be.” Lauren smiled at Tyler. “Right?”
Tyler stared into Lauren’s eyes. He knew that look, like she had a grand idea. “Right.” He slowly turned to Bailey. “My treat. Please, join us.”
Bailey’s eyes widened and her dimples returned.
If Lauren wasn’t asking Bailey about herself, she was trying to make connections between Bailey and Tyler. At first the random similarities Lauren pointed out cracked him up—both right-handed, both mid-thirties, both born in states that start with I’s—but when she started asking Bailey her favorite color and how she liked her eggs cooked, Tyler cut her off.
“Do you volunteer at church?” Tyler wondered how he ended up in the middle of the two of them in the circular booth, the center of it all.
“Not yet. I was thinking about children’s ministry.”
“Lauren helped set up the department when the church opened.” Tyler happily shifted the attention off himself. “She could introduce you to Gina—”
“Do you like acting?” Lauren interrupted. “You should volunteer at Tyler’s theater.”
Tyler shot her a glance.
“You told me you need more help.” Lauren sipped her diet soda.
“Acting is Kolby’s thing.” Bailey smiled at Tyler. “I do have my degree in graphic design. If you need help with programs or advertising, I’d be happy to do that.”
“You were looking for someone for the centers, weren’t you?” He turned to Lauren. “Create images for social media and flyers for events?”
“I think Shelly said they hired someone last week.” She looked to Bailey. “I could call her. Do you have a full-time job?”
“A few, actually.” Bailey chuckled. “I telecommute for two companies, one in Texas and one in Oregon. I interviewed for a part-time position in Florida last week which could turn into something more—”
“Tyler’s family lives in Florida.” Lauren unbuckled David from his carrier when he woke up fussing. “He has a sister who’s married with a son.” Putting him on her hip, she stuck out her hand to Tyler. “Can I have the keys? Think we need to make a trip to the car.”
“You can feed him here. Drape a blanket over you. It’ll be fine.” Tyler pleaded with his eyes, yet Lauren didn’t back down. No sooner did he place his keys in her hand than she disappeared.
“So, tell me about your family.” Bailey scooted closer to the point of her knee almost touching his.
“What was that about?” Tyler snapped at Lauren on their way to her house.
“Making a new friend.” Lauren folded her hands in her lap. “She’s cute and obviously sold out for God. She’s even close to your age.”
“Thanks for pointing that out again. You left for twenty minutes.” Tyler shook his head. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to set me up.”
“What’s wrong with that? It’s been quite some time since you dated. You should be dating.”
His heartbeat quickened with simply a glance in her direction. God, how does she not know? After all of these months with me at her side, can she still not see it? “Dating is highly overrated.”
“Come on.” Lauren reached back to place David’s pacifier in his mouth. “You can’t spend the rest of your life single.”
“Paul said it’s better to be single. Maybe that’s the road God has for me.”
“No sex until marriage, remember? You can’t tell me you plan on living the rest of your life without falling into temptation. You work in Hollywood. There’s no way you can do that.”
“I’ve done okay the past several years. I resisted Penelope and Karen throwing themselves at me.” Stopping at the red light, he faced her. “With God, all things are possible.”
Lauren rolled her eyes. “You aren’t being realistic.”
He wanted to tell her he was madly in love with her, but he knew it wasn’t time. “Tell you what, we’ll make a deal. You refrain from setting me up and I won’t set you up.”
Lauren laughed. “Who in the world would you set me up with?”
Tyler focused on the road as he began driving again. “That new bass guy seems your type.”
“My type?” Lauren asked. “What type is that?”
Tyler shrugged. “Godly. Handsome. Musically inclined.”
“Oh please. I fell in love with Adam because he was Adam, not because he was a musician.” Lauren glanced towards the back seat. “Besides, I’m very content with my little guy being number two, next to God.” She looked back to Tyler. “You should be dating and hanging out with other single people, not a widow and her kid.”
Reality hit him. It was true. She had placed him in the friend zone. “Don’t worry about me. If God wants me to marry, He’ll bring the right person when it’s time.”
“Okay.” Her eyes drifted shut. “I’ll let it go as long as you don’t let hanging out with me hinder you.”
God, help me. If I’m not supposed to love her, help me let her go.
“Hey bro, what’s up?”
Tyler could tell by the background noise Danny was driving also. “Lauren tried to set me up today.”
“She did what?”
Tyler frowned at the sound of Shelly’s voice. “Danny.”
“By the way,” Danny said, “Shelly’s in the car.”
“Who did she try to set you up with?” Shelly asked.
“You can’t say anything, Shel,” Tyler said. “Not a word.”
“But—”
“Not a word,” Tyler stated firmly.
Shelly sighed. “Okay. What happened?”
“She invited Kolby’s sister to lunch with us.”
“Kolby from the acting foundation?” Danny asked.
“Yeah, his oldest sister attends the church. She came up to me after service and was thanking me for my witness because Kolby was an atheist—”
“Kolby the camera guy?” Tyler could hear the surprise in Danny’s voice.
“Apparently he didn’t accept Christ until Christmas.”
“I never would have guessed,” Danny said. “He was such a prayer warrior that last season—”
“Come on now,” Shelly sounded annoyed. “On with the date.”
“We were talking when Lauren came up. She got this look in her eyes—”
“I know that look,” Shelly interrupted. “Like she’s come up with a brilliant idea. I think she gets that way when she’s manic.”
“She did have caffeine this morning and at lunch.” Tyler shook his head. “The next thing I knew the three of us are at the Mexican restaurant. I’m between the two of them, the center of the conversation.”
“Was it awkward?” Danny asked.
“For me. Lauren kept talking me up and Bailey was hanging on every word. Then David started fussing and Lauren disappeared for twenty minutes. Every time I inched back from Bailey, she moved toward me. I was hanging off the booth by the time Lauren returned.” Tyler took a deep breath. “Seriously, man, am I stupid to even think—”
“No,” Shelly answered. “She’s distracted. Give her time.”
“Shel,” Danny said, “he was talking to me.”
“Sorry.” She sighed again. “Don’t give up on her, Tyler. She’s a little clueless at this love thing. I mean, I had to tell her she was in love with Adam. It’s like she doesn’t even consider the good ones, only the losers.”
Tyler chuckled as he switched lanes. “Thanks for that.”
“Well, I mean, except you.”
“No, I was a loser nine years ago when I met her.”
“But now you’re different,” Shelly said. “You guys are perfect for each other which is why she’s not thinking about you that way.”
“I don’t know that I can continue doing this. Yesterday she seemed jealous over Karen and today she’s trying to set me up.” He shifted into fourth gear. “She did tell me she’d never love me again when I came back from Africa. Maybe she meant it.”
“I don’t think so—”
“You know how stubborn she can be,” Tyler interrupted Shelly.
“Yes, she can be stubborn,” Shelly agreed.
“Can you guys pray that if it’s not meant to be God will help me get over her? It hurt today when she told me I can’t be single the rest of my life, that I don’t need to be hanging out with a widow and her kid.” Tyler slumped back into his seat. “Honestly, I don’t want to be single the rest of my life. I’d wait another seven years for her, but if it’s not God’s will, I need to let go.”
“I’ll pray for you,” Danny said. “For patience and wisdom. But I think Shelly is probably right. Lauren does care about you. I have three sisters and I know they need to come to their own conclusions.”
Tyler cranked up the volume of his Christian rock music in his workout room before approaching the punching bag. The beat jump-started his adrenaline as he threw the first punch.
God, I don’t want to love her. Uppercut. This has gone on long enough. Side kick. I need to let her go. Jab. Jab. Front kick. I can’t take the hurt again.
In his mind he saw her dressed in white, in her wedding dress, walking down the aisle to Adam. Anger soared remembering the pain, the feeling of his heart breaking over and over that first year every time Adam touched her, when he kissed her, when she smiled and laughed with him.
I’ve loved her for so long. Roundhouse left. I’d do anything for her. Jab, jab. Doesn’t she see it? Side kick. Doesn’t she know? Uppercut.
How many nights did he pray over her, holding her as she cried, first from depression and then from pain? His punch speed increased as his heart raced thinking of holding her hand, kissing her head, pleading with her not to leave this life.
Take everything I own, but not her, he had pleaded with God. Why? For me to live the rest of my life longing for her?
“How does it feel to want?” Lauren asked years ago when they first met. Once upon a time that was a new feeling, but not now. Now it was a daily occurrence. A growing longing that threatened to destroy him.
You can have any girl, the thought came as he threw a side kick. You don’t need one with a kid. Walk away while you can. If you don’t, you’ll live the rest of your life in Adam’s shadow.
Hook, uppercut. He was always better than me. Jab, cross, uppercut. There’s no way I can compete with him. Front kick left. Why even try? Front kick right.
Give it up, the thought came. Move on. Be done with her.
Jab. I’m done. Cross. Uppercut. She doesn’t love me. Roundhouse left. She never will. Fury boiling over, his eyes squinted at the bag. Cut your losses and move on, Stevens. She’s not worth it. Roundhouse right.
With his final kick, Tyler plopped to the mat beneath him. “Take her away, Lord.” He massaged his brow as he spoke aloud. “Please, take her out of my life. I don’t want the pain and heartache anymore. I need to be done.”
The steam and hot water from the shower relaxed him, soothed his tense muscles. Jogging a mile on the treadmill might not have been the best idea after his kickboxing match against himself, but he needed to escape his thoughts and feelings.
Collapsing on his bed, Tyler scrolled through new releases on his TV. Scanning titles, he clicked on one he’d wanted to see but never did because Lauren always picked. Rated R for violence, sexual situations, profanity, drug use. Sighing, he clicked onto another, then another. All R for similar reasons.
His phone played Lauren’s incoming call song. A video call.
You need to be done with her. Ignore it. You’re moving on.
Focusing on the TV, Tyler selected the first movie he stopped on. Screw it. I can watch what I want.
Again her tone played, as if taunting him. He grabbed his phone to cut off the music.
You don’t need her or her baggage, the thought told him.
The first scene of the movie was a couple in bed. Yeah, that’s not a great choice. Returning to the menu, Tyler picked a different one. Propping his pillows up, he leaned against them. In the first five minutes they used the F-word three times.
“Really, God?” he said aloud. “Can’t I even watch a stupid movie anymore?”
Once again her song played. Gripping his phone tightly, he hurled the remote control at his TV with a scream. First a pop, then a spider web spread from the center.
“Good job, Stevens,” he mumbled, accepting her video call. “Hey, what’s up?”
Her smile couldn’t have been wider. “You have to see this.” She laid on the floor next to David, holding the phone above him. “David, there’s Tyler.” She tapped on Tyler’s face. “David. Look here.” Lauren’s voice was soft, motherly. When his eyes shifted to Tyler, she spoke again. “David, smile again for Tyler.” Her pitch rose as she said his name. “He wants to see.”
The baby’s entire body shook. Tyler smiled, picturing his legs kicking.
“Show Tyler what you can do.”
The corners of the infant’s mouth turned up momentarily.
“Hey, buddy, can you smile for me?” Tyler asked.
A grin exploded on David’s face accompanied by more kicks. Tyler couldn’t help but laugh.
“There it is. There’s that toothless grin. Say ‘hi Tyler.’”
He continued kicking and smiling.
“Wow,” Tyler gasped. “Did he just start doing that?”
“Yes.” Lauren shifted the phone so she was in the view with David. “It’s official. He can smile on command. Wish you were here to see it in person.”
“Me, too,” he replied. “Thanks for calling.”
“I didn’t want to bug you.” Lauren paused. “Were you busy?”
“Nah. I was working out earlier. Thought I’d watch a movie.” He lifted his eyes to the screen, now covered with puddles of green and orange. “But my TV is broken.”
“Oh, that’s a bummer.” Lauren’s eyes widened. “I started watching this documentary about sloths. They’re so adorable. I can save it and we can watch it together when you come over this week.”
“Great.” Tyler smiled at her excitement.
“Maybe little guy and I will visit you on the set during lunch tomorrow if that’s okay. Then you can see his smile in person.”
“I’d like that.”
She talked to him for a half hour, about everything and nothing in particular, walking all over the house cleaning while she did, even feeding David during their video chat.
“You forgot to order decaf this morning, didn’t you?” Tyler finally asked.
“You know me well.” Lauren bit her lips. “That’s probably why I was trying to set you up with Bailey. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intention.”
“I know. I forgive you.” He lay back in bed. “How about I order your coffee from now on?”
“Great idea.” Lauren laughed. “Good night, Tyler. Sleep well.”
“Good night, Lauren.” Tossing his phone aside, he stared at the ceiling. “God, help me. I can’t stop loving her. Or him.”