Chapter 25
Cupboards opening and closing woke Tyler the next morning. Reaching for his phone to read the Bible, he saw a new email from the insurance adjuster. Opening it revealed pictures of his destroyed Corvette and the estimated damage.
Totaled, it read on the bottom line.
Tyler closed his eyes. Thank You, God, that I survived.
A shriek from David echoed through the house, followed by Lauren’s shhh.
For several minutes all he could do was praise God for his life. For hemming him in so the injuries weren’t worse. Then he clicked on his social media app. Uploading a picture that showed all the damage to his car, with squinted eyes, he began to type.
Yesterday I was mad when the eye doctor told me I need glasses. She said I’m fortunate to have a textbook case of brain trauma. This for a guy who has lived the past two decades trying to stand out from the rest, to be the best, was crushing. I can’t work right now. I can’t drive or even scroll on my phone. Typing this is a major struggle. But I woke up this morning to an email with this picture.
It’s all about perspective. The perspective I needed? I could be dead.
God spared my life. He didn’t have to. The verse that came to my mind as soon as I saw the pictures of my destroyed Corvette was James 4:14. “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
I’m alive. God’s given me a second chance. My life was good before the accident. Well, great, actually. But it was comfortable. I was living a good life, but not the life He wanted me to. Christians aren’t supposed to be comfortable. We are called to step out of our comfort zone to minister to others. I need to be talking about my faith. After all, that’s part of living it.
Yeah, I’m a Jesus freak. I’ve been for some time. I didn’t simply grow a conscience a few years ago and decide to change. After years of test driving Christianity, I decided to make it real. I gave up alcohol, drugs, sex, and movies with them because it’s sin and sin doesn’t glorify God. Sin separates me from Him. I decided to live for a man who died for me—yet, I fell short. I didn’t tell you that Jesus is my Lord. It took me almost losing my life to give it away completely.
Hi, my name is Tyler Stevens, and I’m sold out for God. Completely.
Life is hard right now, but as a friend reminded me, we survive the hard stuff through prayer and petition with thanksgiving.
I’m thankful to be alive.
I’m thankful for supportive friends.
I’m thankful for the prayers of God’s people.
I’m thankful for the well-wishes and encouragement of fans.
I’m thankful that this too will pass.
I’m thankful for a second chance to live my faith. Here’s to a new year lived for Him.
Tyler stared at his post after pushing “publish.” A new year lived for Him. He said it, now he needed to do it.
“Hi, Dad,” he said when his dad answered.
“Hi, Son. How are you?”
“Not great, but God’s holding me together.”
“Oh.” His father cleared his throat. “Did you want to talk to your mother?”
Closing his eyes, Tyler took a deep breath. “Actually I called to talk to you.”
“No screaming today because Tyler’s head hurts.”
Tyler smiled at the sight of Lauren cooking eggs at the stove and David sitting in his portable high chair at the table gnawing on his teething ring.
God, she’s so beautiful and You’re so good.
“You have to be good so we can stay as long as he needs us, okay?”
“He’ll be good, right, buddy?” Tyler tussled the sparse hair on David’s head, causing his arms to wave wildly.
“He’s been pretty cranky lately.” Lauren flipped the eggs with a spatula. “Wish those silly teeth would come in already.”
“It’s because you aren’t feeding him, Mama.” Tyler removed a mug from the cupboard. “The kid is dying to eat.”
“He gets his baby cereal.” Lauren sized Tyler up. “You look good. Feeling better?”
“Gained a little perspective this morning.” He filled his cup with steaming coffee from the coffee press.
“So I read.” Popping a piece of toast from the toaster, she laid it on a plate before placing the egg atop it.
“You did?” He accepted the plate from her.
“Of course. I get notifications about your page.” She removed a bottle from a small cooler on the counter. “Nice to see you posting and not Mitch or Danny.” Squirting milk in a bowl of baby cereal, she mixed it.
“How do you know when it’s them?” Tyler’s eyes bounced from the bottle to the bowl. “Is that your milk?”
“I know you well. Of course it is.” She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and held up the bottle. “Curious?”
“No.” Tyler grabbed a fork from the drawer and hurried to the table. As soon as he sat, David reached for his food. “See? Little man wants more than cereal.”
“Next week we start baby food. One thing at a time.”
David’s arms started flailing when Lauren sat beside him with the bowl. “How’d you sleep?”
“Good.” Tyler broke the yolk of his egg. “Mac serenaded me. I see why you listened to his worship album a lot in the hospital.”
“Totally brings peace upon you, doesn’t it?” The spoon was inches from David’s mouth when he lunged for it. He smacked his lips and hit his fists on his tray when he finished.
“See? He loves food.” Tyler lifted his toast. “How about this, buddy?”
“Stop.” Lauren pushed his leg under the table. “He’s too little for that.”
A smile spread across his lips. “Bet he’d love ice cream, like his mama.”
The moment he smiled, peace filled her heart. “You are feeling better.”
“Must be all this good food.” He chewed his first bite. “Great eggs. And coffee. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She stirred the cereal. “Sure you don’t want some milk for your coffee.”
“Black is perfect,” he chuckled. “It could also be the peace that surpasses all understanding. I even called my dad this morning.”
“Really?” Lauren wiped the cereal that leaked from her son’s mouth.
“I can’t be a very effective witness if I only talk to him a few times a year.”
“That’s true. How’d it go?”
“I told him about therapy, getting glasses, trusting God for complete healing.” Tyler sipped his coffee.
When she met Tyler years ago he didn’t speak to his dad. Now he was concerned about what kind of witness he was. God, You’re so amazing.
“What?” Tyler asked when she smiled.
“It’s good to see.”
“Me living my faith or trying at a relationship with my dad?”
“Both.”
“You had to figure eventually you’d rub off on me with all the time we spend together.” Tyler rubbed his foot against hers.
Her pulse increased. “Then I guess we need to keep hanging out together. Iron sharpens iron, right?”
“Yes, it does.”
They left Tyler’s house when it was time for David’s nap. He slept in the stroller as Lauren watched the technician adjust Tyler’s glasses.
“Would you like to see?” The technician offered him a mirror when she was done.
“Nah.” He swiveled in his chair to face Lauren. “She’s my mirror.”
Lauren caught herself biting her lip to keep from gasping at how handsome he was. “Nice. I like them.”
Tyler narrowed his eyes. “You were more enthusiastic before.”
She allowed herself to smile. “I love them. You look great.”
Tyler handed her his phone. “Take a picture of me.”
She obliged and handed it back.
Tyler stared at the picture several seconds before chuckling. “I look old.”
“The glasses aren’t to blame.”
He laughed again, cropping the photo. “Thanks for that.” As he slid his phone into his pocket, her phone chimed.
“New post from Tyler Stevens,” she said, opening her social media. There he was, so handsome and clean shaven, in his new glasses. She felt her cheeks heat up as she read his caption.
I’m thankful for glasses so I can see my best friend’s smile clearly.
Reclining on the couch with David in his arms following lunch, he stared into David’s face as he slept. Lips puckered, occasionally his lashes flickered, but his eyes remained closed. At times he resembled Adam so much it astounded and saddened Tyler.
“You need to grow up to be like your daddy, okay, little guy?” Tyler whispered, lips inches from David’s ear. “I think that would make your mommy’s heart happy. She loved him so much.” Closing his eyes, Tyler slowly inhaled. David smelled like baby shampoo and pure goodness.
“God, thank You for this little guy. And thank You for his daddy. Thank You for the gift of being in his life and Lauren’s. She’s such a blessing to me.”
“Dinner should be ready by five,” Lauren announced when she walked in the room. She paused at the sight of Tyler asleep holding David. As she pulled a blanket over them, a familiar feeling rushed over her, not only for David, but for Tyler. That feeling she had for Adam. Love. Devotion.
God, help me, she silently prayed as tears filled her eyes. I don’t know that I should love him again.
The more Tyler wore his glasses, the less overwhelming functioning was. Lauren came over daily, sometimes with David, sometimes without him. She cooked all his favorite meals, encouraged him when he did his exercises, sat next to him on the couch and held his hand while they watched TV. Whenever he closed his eyes, she would ask if he was okay.
“All the lights and movement get overwhelming after a while. I just need a little visual break, as Dr. De Luca says, but I’m okay listening.”
Friday night she came over without David. After a delicious dinner of jambalaya, they sat on the couch to watch a movie. Five minutes into it, Lauren placed a pillow in Tyler’s lap and lay down. Pulling the blanket over her from the end of the couch, she reached up to hold his hand.
It took him back almost a year, to Valentine’s Day right after Adam had passed. She was that comfortable with him, that content. And then he left, devastating her.
He stared at her, so beautiful, so close. Her love seemed within his grasp. God, I don’t want to blow it again. I feel like I’ve lost her too many times.
All week Lauren had taken care of him, viewed him with different eyes. No longer was he the man who broke her heart. She didn’t see him as Adam’s best friend. Now she looked at him as the man who had been by her side through so many seasons of her life. The man who trusted God for her healing. The man who stood by her as she mourned. The man who loved her son as much as she did.
Friday morning the reminder popped up on her phone that it was Adam’s brother’s birthday. Lauren put it in her calendar years ago so she would remember. Though Jake passed away when Adam was sixteen, Adam still called his sister every year on that day. He still shared his favorite stories with Lauren, always telling a new one. With tears in his eyes, he would end the day with a prayer of thanksgiving that one day he would be able to spend his brother’s birthday with him again.
That would be this year.
Such joy filled Lauren to think of Adam with Jake and his parents, yet being without him crushed her.
She called Ruth in the morning and cried for an hour after. Every day she thought it would be easier, yet at times it felt like yesterday. With the anniversary of his passing quickly approaching, Lauren felt she was barely holding on.
Tyler kept the conversation going through dinner. She only needed to smile and share about David which always brought her heart peace. But as they settled down to watch a movie, the sadness of the day overshadowed Lauren. She wanted to be strong for Tyler. She needed to, yet she felt herself unraveling.
Holding his hand helped her feel safe and secure, but also reminded her of what she lost. Years ago she lost Tyler’s love; now she had lost Adam’s.
God, I can’t handle losing more. I can’t love Tyler if it means losing him again.
“Lauren, what’s wrong?” he asked when the first tear rolled down her cheek.
She didn’t answer for several minutes. He pushed her hair behind her ear, wiped away the tears.
“I miss him today. It still hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” was all he could say. He knew words couldn’t take away her pain. God, please take away her pain.
The movie continued playing. She squeezed his hand tighter at times, like when she struggled with depression or pain. He took it as a signal to pray.
When the movie ended, he walked her out.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He wanted her to know he saw her pain.
“I’m thinking about going to the cabin.” She took his hand without looking at him. “For the anniversary.”
“That’s a great idea.” Tyler opened the front door.
“Will you come with us?” Lauren’s eyes met his, pleading.
Tyler’s heart sank. How can I say no? But it would be wrong to stay overnight in the same cabin with her.
“Can your dad come, too?” The idea suddenly came to him. “What if the four of us go?”
“Do we need a chaperone?” Lauren frowned.
“That whole appearance of evil thing. I know we’re only friends, but you’re a girl and I’m a guy.”
Only friends. The words ripped the air from her lungs. Releasing his hand, she inhaled to push back the tears. How foolish of me to think there’s more. Of course there’s nothing more.
“It’s Dad’s slow season.” She dug through her purse for her keys. “I’m sure he can make it.”
“Great. I’m sorry it was a hard day. I’ll be praying for you.”
“Thanks. I’ll call to check on you tomorrow.” She hadn’t reached her car when the tears returned.