How in the world did I make such a stupid mistake?

The same question has been lingering in my mind, long after I’ve left the city’s coastal road. I have no regrets over seducing him. If I could turn time back, I would do it again. I loved his drive, but mainly, I appreciated the fact that he didn’t mistreat me or abuse me in any way. Some men are animals; that’s common knowledge. Yet, Ray wasn’t anything like that. On the contrary, he gave me respect; respect I’m not sure I deserved after offering myself to him like that. In any case, however, we have lost each other. And it’s this ugly reality that hurts more than the way our night was interrupted. He may be gorgeous, but he has another quality that appeals to me: his attitude. Not much seems capable of stressing him out, or at least that’s what I was able to figure out in the time that we spent together.

Are we talking Real Boyfriend Material? Here? Oh, no…

These two questions compel me to change my mind. Finding someone like him in Miami sounded great. We’d be able to have a real relationship and everything good that comes with it: going on dates to fancy restaurants; partying and staying up all night at bars; strolling around the city; and of course, having lots of sex. We wouldn’t have just a summer fling. Therefore, I’m somehow relieved that he and I won’t be seeing each other again. I wanted to do many things on my vacation. Having an actual relationship with someone was not one of those. Ray can be an amazing guy for all I care, but this simply is a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Still, this development doesn’t make me feel any better. I have been in Crete for four days, and I still haven’t had a hot, passionate night with someone. All I have to remember is a long encounter with Michael and a quickie with Ray. I enjoyed them both, yes, but I can’t help but wonder what those nights would have evolved into. And I was positive that they would both have rocked my world, one way or another.

Strolling along the vast beach of Ammoudara, I get the same, dreadful feeling I got on the breakwater earlier. Bar and tavern customers aren’t expecting to see a woman in an expensive gown, and they’re chattering about me. With my frustration deepening more by the second, I do consider confronting someone. I was having an amazing time with Ray, up until the point that our date was interrupted. Instead, I step out of my heels and take them in my grasp, deciding to ignore them. What would I gain by having an argument? The answer is simple: absolutely nothing. It will help me vent, surely, but that’s pretty much the only upside to it. Screaming at a random guy is not going to turn time backwards or get me Ray’s number. With a heavy heart, I head towards my hotel. But, just as I’m about to turn my back to the sea, I see a familiar face in the water. Emily is emerging from the waves in a purple bikini and a broad grin gracing her face. This isn’t like her. I can still recall our arguments about night swims. They are my personal favorite, but she doesn’t like them at all. She thinks it’s too dangerous to enter the water at night.

“You have got to be kidding me,” I scoff, my face twisting in confusion as she closes the distance between us. “I thought you hated night swims.”

“Karlie called me about an hour ago,” Emily announces, bending down to pick up her towel, her grin staying on. “She’s flying over from Miami tomorrow morning.”

“That’s great!” I cheer as a smile of joy lights up my face. At last, I have something to be happy about tonight. “She finally convinced Tony about that time off?”

“Actually it’s the low workload that convinced him, not her,” she continues, her eyes glinting with excitement. “Karlie said things were very slow these days. The shoe store will remain closed for the next couple of weeks.”

“Oh, God…” I sigh, tipping my head slightly back. “I needed this good news with the night I’ve had.”

“Ray wasn’t at the breakwater?” Emily cocks an eyebrow.

“Au contraire, mon ami,” I negate that notion. “He was right there. In fact, he arrived before me. We went for a walk, we had a nice talk, and we agreed to go to a nearby club. There was a huge line outside, though. So Ray led me to a dark alley below it. Then we, um…”

“Tell me you’re joking,” she grumbles, the bliss in her eyes giving over its place to anger.

“I’m not,” I affirm, my sadness sending my voice down an octave. “Don’t worry; it wasn’t as public as it sounds. There was this large inset archway in the wall. We were hidden in there the whole time. But…” I pause and draw in a sharp breath. “When we were about to take off, he received news about his friend being in an accident. That was all she wrote. He ditched me, and we didn’t even get to exchange numbers.”

“Oh, dear Lord…” Emily gives a huff of exasperation, banging the palm of her hand against her forehead. “How the hell can you be so reckless? Have you no control? I mean, what would have happened if someone saw you?”

“Actually, it was that fear that made the whole experience even more amazing,” I retort, remembering the last, intense moments of my encounter with Ray. “I admit it; I was reckless, but you know what? I was due. I’m sick and tired of being so vanilla. Haven’t you ever wanted to do something crazy?”

“Yeah: a threesome!” she spouts in an emphatic tone, but quickly seems to regret her reaction. Emily throws hurried glances around her, covering her mouth with her hand. “I wouldn’t fuck anyone in public,” she whispers, shifting her gaze back to mine. “I’m a little confused, though,” Emily adds, tightening her jaw. “The guy was an emotional wreck when we saw him last night. Where did he find the courage to make a move on you?”

“He didn’t,” I speak, my own voice not much louder than a whisper. “You should have seen him, girl. After just a few minutes with me, he was smiling, laughing, paying me compliments… The puppy-eyed guy was gone. He was cute, but to be honest with you, I prefer the confident, laid back stud who revealed himself to me tonight.”

“And that’s why you didn’t resist him,” Emily concludes, a touch of mockery in her tone. “Remind me to add ‘predictable’ to your list of adjectives.”

“Oh, shut up, will you?” I groan, glaring down at her. “You saw Ray. Wouldn’t you put out to him?”

“Eventually? Yeah,” she admits with a nod. “I’d go out with him, have a couple of drinks, grab some dinner, and then take him up to my hotel room, where we could have sex in a bed. You know, like normal people do.”

Her last statement strips me of the will to continue this debate with her. Emily has made her point. It’s clear to me that whatever I say to her will not change her mind. Maybe she has a point. Perhaps I should have had a real date with him, before seducing him. But then again, the date would’ve been cut short. I wouldn’t have had the memory of touching him, and to me, this memory is precious. It’s what I’m going to take with me, once our vacation is over.