Laurel comes crawling out of her hole at about eight in the morning. I’m in her kitchen, having helped myself to some coffee and a bowl of cereal. She is wearing her favorite sweatpants and an oversized, purple t-shirt that I had put her in last night. Her hair is a mess, her eyes are squinted, and she looks like hell. “Morning,” I say with a frown, letting her know I am not at all amused.

She frowns and rubs her eyes. “Ugh,” she says. “Damn it. I was hoping you wouldn’t still be here.” She looks really embarrassed and disappointed; she probably was hoping and praying I would be gone, but I wanted to make sure she wasn’t going to die from alcohol poison. I’m a thoughtful guy like that.

“Just making sure you don’t need a ride to the hospital. You had a major slip, didn’t you?” I ask, glaring at her slightly. She’s better than this. So much better.

She scratches the back of her head and eyes the coffee that I’ve brewed. “I was a jerk last night.”

“Little bit,” I say.

“I’m so sorry, Jonathan,” she says and makes her way over towards me to get herself some coffee. She doesn’t make eye contact with me. She rubs her forehead, pinching the skin between her eyes in a desperate attempt to alleviate a headache. “I feel so stupid. I was so inappropriate. I’m not like that, you know that, right?”

“I know,” I say.

She gets herself a cup of coffee and sips on it slowly. “I feel like a complete idiot, Jonathan. I am really sorry for the way I acted last night. I really don’t want to come between you and Brandi. I really am happy for you and for the baby… I’m just sad for me, I guess.”

“Don’t be,” I say. “You deserve better than me anyways.”

“I don’t know if I do,” she says; she rubs her eyes again. “Thank you for looking out for me. I probably would have wound up in a jail cell if you hadn’t showed up.”

“Probably. I wouldn’t have bailed your butt out of jail though,” I say. I smile at her. “Laurel, what was this about? I mean, really?”

“Honestly, it was about you. That’s probably why I wound up drunk calling you. Jonathan, I love you. I miss you, and I am so sorry that I tried to do anything last night. I don’t want to hurt your relationship with Brandi. I don’t. I’m not that kind of woman, and I hope you know that. I just got myself all worked up, you know? And you know I have a problem. You know how it is, I guess, as a former alcoholic. I just… slipped.” She looks away from me and slowly makes her way over towards the door. “I really appreciate what you did for me last night. You’re a good friend, but I think you should go.”

“You’re right,” I say and stand, leaving my breakfast behind. I head towards the door, and I pause. I smile at her. “You’re a good person, Laurel. Don’t beat yourself up over this. I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I hurt you. I really am –because that’s the last thing I wanted to do. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. You have done so much for me, Laurel, and I hate that I-”

She kisses me in the doorway, and I let her. I slip my hands around her waist, and her arms drape over my shoulders. I want her –I feel this horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I’m not around her. Right now in her embrace, I feel whole. Her kiss is slow and soft, and it draws me in. I feel like my arms just melt onto her, fitting into the natural contours of her body. I pull her closer to me, and our kissing becomes longer and deeper. I slip the tips of my fingers into the back of her sweats and then run one hand up her back up under her t-shirt. Our lips part for a just a moment, and I can feel her warm breath against my flesh, and I shudder.

Laurel abruptly yanks away, and she looks horrified. “I’m sorry!” she says quickly and shoves me back out of the apartment; she slams the door in my face. This feels like our first date.

I’ve never felt so broken in my life. I definitely should have been the one to pull away. I don’t think I would have let it go too far, but I shouldn’t have let her keep kissing me. I just miss her. I miss being with her. I miss her so much. Some days with Brandi are great, but even our best days simply can’t compare to the love and joy I feel just sitting on the couch with Laurel eating a pizza with a bad movie playing in the background. I wish I could have this with Brandi, but I don’t, and that shit Vivian threw my way is only making it harder.

I wind up standing outside of her door for probably ten minutes –sort of like a pet that’s been tossed out and is waiting permission to come back inside. I want to hold Laurel in my arms again – I want to feel that wholeness. For myself, I had been at an all-time high as far as where my head was when I was with her. I was finally myself around her; I could be the best version of myself with Laurel, and I just can’t do that with Brandi. I love Laurel, and not being with her is killing me.

The only reason I finally am able to pull my feet away from her door is because one of her neighbors keeps poking his head out into the hall to see what the hell I’m doing. Nosey asshole. I pull myself away and head outside towards where I had parked the Volkswagen. I touch the hood, picturing what it used to be like –pink and falling apart. I had fixed this thing up while I was with Laurel, and I think that’s why I keep driving it instead of going back to my rich-snobby guy Ferrari. I hate the damn Ferrari. I’d rather drive this refurbished Volkswagen any day now. Laurel had fixed me, and I had fixed the damn car. I had changed for the better all because of her.

I climbed into the driver’s seat, and almost immediately my phone starts going off. It’s Brandi. I answer it, “Hey, Brandi,” and I try to sound perky.

“Hey. How is Laurel? Is she okay?” Brandi asks.

“Hungover, but she’s fine,” I say.

“But she’s okay?” Brandi asks.

“Yeah. She just needs to drink some coffee,” I say. “She’s not going to be of any use to anyone today, though. How’s Ambriel doing this morning?”

“She’s doing good. She’s been cooing all morning. So sweet. I think she misses her daddy, though,” Brandi says, and I can tell from her tone that she is smiling.

“Well, I’ll be home soon,” I say.

“Oh… oh my God,” I hear Brandi say, and her voice is shrill.

My brain jumps to Ambriel. “What’s wrong?” I snap. A million different scenarios run through my mind in a matter of seconds.

“Someone…. someone is in Ambriel’s room,” she says, “Ambriel’s with me… but I left the video monitor on…”

My heart starts racing. “Get Ambriel and go hide in the closet. I’m calling the police, and I’m coming home right now!”

“Please hurry,” she says, and I start the car –bringing the engine to life and peeling out of the parking lot and out into the street.