I head into the back employees entrance of the gym for my afternoon shift, and at first I am assuming that it is going to be like any other day. I pass Alex in the hall, and she gives me this nervous grin. “I’m headed on my lunch break now,” she says; she seems antsy, so I called her out on it.

“Everything good?” I ask.

She nods. “I guess I just don’t know whether or not to warn you; Laurel’s back.”

“Good,” I say almost too quickly. I do a quick recovery. “I shouldn’t be keeping her from coming here. I’m glad she’s feeling comfortable enough to come back.”

“Yeah, me too,” Alex says as she remains standing awkwardly in the hallway instead of heading out back to the parking lot to go enjoy her lunch.

“Everything is going to be fine, Alex,” I assure her. “Laurel and I had a heart to heart the other day. We can be in the same room together.”

Alex gives me this approving nod before heading out –deciding a verbal warning to behave myself was not necessary; I’m not the same creep she had hired off the street a while back. Amazing how quickly a person can change. I head into Alex’s office to drop off my things before heading out into the main area of the gym. I immediately spot Laurel inside the boxing ring with Britany; the two of them are sparing, and the other women fighters are all around them on various equipment.

Laurel gives me an awkward wave, and I wave back and offer her a smile. So far so good. I decide to avoid the boxing ring for a while to let the atmosphere sink in with everyone around us. I figure just going up and chit-chatting with all of them would be awkward right now, so I need to give it time. They do say that time heals all wounds, but this one was pretty deep. Besides, I have a lesson to teach on the second floor. I ride the elevator up, and it’s a perfect view from the track down to the boxing ring. Honestly, I’m really glad to see her back in here. I missed her.

My class is already waiting for me; they always show up early. “Hello ladies,” I say as I enter the large room with the glass walls, still overlooking the main room in the gym. I can watch Laurel doing her workouts from here while teaching my class, but I do my best not to. She’s distracting, and I don’t need to be distracted if I want to keep my job.

The class goes over without a hitch; the soccer moms are really starting to take to the whole self-defense thing. One of the moms is even telling me she joined an amateur boxing class at another gym, and she’s wanting to know if I’ll be teaching something like that. I tell her I’ll run it by Alex, and honestly I’d love to do something like that. I’m getting tired of the same self-defense courses week after week. A boxing class for beginners would be just perfect, and it would allow these well-trained soccer moms to take their new-found abilities to the next level.

“So you’re having a meeting today after the gym closes for the volunteers, right?” one of the moms ask.

I’m glad she asked because I had almost forgotten. “Yes, that’s right!” I say, slapping my hand on the back of my head and laughing slightly at how easily I have become distracted. “Yes, I’ll be going over what all we will need for the marathon.”

“Great! I’ll be there!” the woman says and leaves with her friends.

I leave the room after tidying up, and I catch myself lingering towards the railing by the second floor track; it’s a perfect spot to gaze down at the ring. I can see Laurel taking a water break just outside the ring while Marianna and LaWanda take a turn sparring. She glances up my way and smiles, but it is a sad smile. I return an almost identical look, and there is this horrible, aching feeling in the pit of my stomach. I love her; I still do, and it’s painful.

The day goes by, and I mostly avoid her. I had thought I would want to see her back at the gym, but having her so close while she’s untouchable is making things way harder. I keep having to remind myself of Brandi; I adorn my wedding ring promptly on my left hand as a reminder –although the ring is kind of a joke seeing as how Brandi and I are still divorced, but if it will keep me focused, I’ll wear the damn thing. Every time I catch myself gazing off in Laurel’s direction, I start fiddling with it. I keep that same picture of the ultrasound of Ambriel on my phone that I had snapped before Brandi was aware that I knew. I look at that too as yet another reminder that I am committed to something else.

The day draws to a close, and I head to one of the meeting rooms to get set up for the fundraiser meeting. I set up chairs, and Alex brings in doughnuts for the volunteers. Within minutes of finishing set up, the room is jam packed full of women and a handful of husbands who had gotten drug into volunteering at the event. “I want to start out by thanking everyone for coming,” I begin and get going on this long speech I have about the fundraiser, what we need everyone to do, how the event is going to run, where to meet, what to bring, and so on. About halfway through my explanation, I notice Laurel is present. Is she still volunteering for my event? It makes me grin, and I have to refocus myself yet again.

Eventually the meeting is adjourned; a few people stick around to ask a few questions, but that’s all. Laurel hangs around, and I finally go up and talk to her after spending most of the day avoiding her. “You’re still volunteering for the event?” I ask.

“Yeah,” she says. “I told you I would. I’d hate to leave you hanging.”

I smile. “Thank you,” I say.

“Of course,” she says, and then I feel her fingers brush up against my side; she yanks her hand back, and my face turns red.

“Um…” I say, and she just looks down.

“I’ll see you later, Jonathan,” she says and slips out of the room.

I tug at my shirt collar and shake my head. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.