I sat on Franz’s twin bed across the hall from him while I heard his shower running. He lived in a rundown apartment on the other side of town, and every once in a while there was a mother screaming at her children while they pummeled the ceiling of my room. I felt listless again, like life had decided to kick me off its train while everyone else got a free ride into the next town. I was tired of backpacking on the side of the railway at night just to find my way into a town that didn’t want me, and I was tired of life making me slog through mud and kicking me back into a big pile of … well you know.

My heart felt empty, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I felt anger bubble into my throat. I wished to God I’d never gotten that damn phone call that morning. I wished to God I’d never been a nanny for that family; and I wished to every single God available that my family wasn’t just … so …

I let out a shrieking scream before I buried my tear-stained face in my hands.

I curled up onto the musty, dust-ridden bed and sobbed. I sobbed for a family that didn’t give a shit, and I sobbed for that beautiful child whose funeral I wasn’t allowed to attend. I sobbed for the graveside I'd never been able to set flowers on, and I sobbed for a future that could have been, if I would’ve just stuck with my studies instead of dropping out on an emotional whim.

I sobbed for the idiocy I allowed when I let my guard down with a man like Derek;

Like Mr. Blake;

Like whatever the fuck I was supposed to call him now.

“Gracie’s bitch is more like it,” I huffed.

A low chuckle rumbled from the doorway and I sniffled before turning around. Franz was there, his bald head glistening with water from his shower while his robe stuck to his skin.

“Go on. Get it outta your system,” he urged.

“I thought I found where I belonged,” I whispered.

“Oh, girl,” he sighed.

Franz came in and sat down on the edge of my bed. It creaked with the weight and dipped heavy into the floor, and soon I felt the cool wrinkles of Franz’s skin on my bare calf as he slowly patted my leg in sympathy.

“If there’s one thing life’s taught me, it’s that we belong nowhere,” Franz croaked.

I could see the mist brewing behind his eyes and it caused me to reach down and take his hand. I wrapped my fingers around his before I slowly sat up on the bed, and like a dry spout that had been begging for water, the story of his daughter poured forth from his trembling lips.

“My daughter didn’t belong with no man twice her age. Sure, she told me she was in love with’im, but that man was easily twice her senior. An’ I ain’t one to judge appearances, but he wasn’t one of them fellas who took care of his self.”

And as the tears poured down his time-stained cheeks, all I did was grasp his hand firmly and listen.

“She was livin’ in that same complex, ya know, with that old man of hers. He got her whatever he wanted in exchange for jus’ havin’ her around, I guess. An’ she was jus’ content bein’ on his arm. I mean, we struggled for money when she was younger, but somethin’ happened when her mama died…”

I scooted closer to him and leaned my head onto his shoulder before he pressed his cheek into my head.

“She was jus’... in her home; waitin’ for him to come home from some meetin’ overseas or somethin’, an’... someone just walked right in an’ picked a place to rob, I guess. She—”

He squeezed my hand tightly and all I found myself choking back my own tears.

“Anyway, she would ’a wanted to be buried by her mama, so tha’s where I put her. An’ every Sunday, I take flowers to the two most important women in my life. It’s all I can give ’em now.”

My heart ached for him. No wonder he took the night shift job as the doorman and plugged holes in the schedule when he could. Some negligent doorman didn’t do his job, and his daughter was killed because of it.

“I… am so sorry, Franz,” I breathed.

“Point is,” he croaked, “she had no business bein’ with that man in that city. Ya can’t take the country lovin’ out’o a country girl, if ya ask me. An’ bein’ where she wasn’t supposed to be chewed her up and spit her out. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, child, it’s that we don’t belong nowhere except where we supposed to be.”

“And how does someone know where she’s supposed to be?” I whispered.

“You know ‘cause when you leave it,” he murmured, “it makes ya feel empty. Like your soul is singing’ a certain song, hopin’ to lure ya back to it. It’s kinda like how you feelin’ right now.”

“I don’t belong with Derek,” I breathed before I sat up. “He’s got his family now.”

“Family ain’t always about blood, girl,” Franz said lowly. “You remember that.”

“I’m worried about Clara,” I whispered.

“I know. An’ outta all of ‘em in this, she’ll be the one to pay,” Franz murmured.

“What do I do?” I asked. I turned my gaze towards the old man, and somehow he seemed… older. Like ten years’ time had made a home on his face while he sat and stared at the wall in front of him.

“Mr. Blake’s a good man. Cold in his business, toxic in his love life, but dedicated to his core. He’ll stay by that woman’s side on account o’ she’s the mother of his kid, but that don’t mean he trusts her.”

“So… you think he sees what I see?” I asked. I didn’t know how that could possibly give me hope, but it did.

“I think you underestimate how he can read people,” Franz nodded.

“I want him to be alright…” I said lowly.

“I know, girl.”

“I want him to be happy.”

“I know that, too.”

“I wanted him to be happy with me,” I said, barely above a whisper.

It was then that Franz turned his body to me while I dropped my gaze into my lap. I couldn’t help it. Derek had repulsed me with his cocky, nonchalant attitude before showing me how wonderfully he could love a child. Then, he showed me his sensual side; one that lusted after everything I was before turning around and accepting me into the rhythm of his life. He drew me in with those ice cold eyes and kept me around with the tease of his touch; then he chained me forever to the floor with the way he loved every part of his daughter.

And yet, Gracie was the one with him, and I was here with Franz.

“I know,” Franz whispered before he covered my hands in his. “I know.”

I heard a faint buzzing sound coming from my purse and I grabbed it before pulling it onto the bed. I spilled most of the contents out before I realized my entire body was shaking, and all the while Franz just sat there and watched while I moved the contents of my purse around on the bed to find my phone.

But when I found it, and I saw Derek’s name pop up on my screen, the blood drained from my face.

“He sent me a message,” I whispered to no one in particular.

“What does it say?” Franz asked.

I opened the message and snickered before I shook my head. I darted my eyes over to Franz who was eyeing me with an insatiable curiosity, and all I did was hold the phone up to him before that same sparkle in my eye popped up behind his.

“Just hang tight. I know something’s not right,” Franz read aloud.

“You can say it now,” I smirked.

“Say what?”

“‘I told ya so’.”

“Girl, if there’s anythin’ ya learn about me, it’s this: I don’t never rub my intelligence in other people’s faces.”

I threw my head back and laughed for the first time since this entire whirlwind of a journey started almost a month ago, and after I was done laughing I let out a massive sigh.

“So, I’m just supposed to hang out?” I asked.

“While ya strike me as the kinda girl that don’t take orders from anyone, I’d say just this once… listen to what the man’s sayin’.”

And then, just before I went to rebut with a few suggestions, the number for the Nanny Agency popped up onto my phone.

“Hello?” I answered as Franz looked at me curiously.

“Hey Madeline,” Eleanor said.

“Hey there,” I breathed.

“I hear a change in dynamic happened with Mr. Blake.”

“Yeah, it’s been an interesting couple of hours,” I said.

“Well, there’s been a change in the contract…” she trailed off.

“Let me guess, don’t come back in until next week and, even then, it’s only Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“Well, sort of. Yes for what you said, but he’s requested to have you on-call for Sundays, and he also said he’s not changing your pay.”

The phone slipped from my hand and into my lap as I stared at the wall in shock. Derek was still gonna pay me six figures just for working for him three days a week!?

Something was definitely not right.

As my mind suddenly kicked into overdrive and began to whirl, Franz had picked up my phone and put it on speaker.

“Madeline? Are you still there?” Eleanor asked.

“Yeah,” I breathed. “Just… are you sure?”

“Don’t worry, the billing department double-checked with him before we emailed him the final agreement. He signed, which gave us permission to officially notify you.”

I was stunned. On the one hand, I did have the power to rebut with a different agreement. Just because Derek signed it on his end didn’t mean I couldn’t negotiate; but once I agreed to the terms, Eleanor would sign the document as the third-party provider and it would be etched in stone. Was this a test? Was this to see if I would be honest about how to pay me? Maybe Gracie had done something to prove a point?

“Madeline, are you alright with those terms? And if you say no, I’ll probably order a doctor to come see you wherever you are right now. Which reminds me: since you aren’t a live-in any longer, I’ll need an updated address for where you are staying.”

But all I could do was sit and stare at the wall in silence.

“You… do have a place you’re staying, right?” she asked.

“Yes’m,” Franz chimed in, “lemme give ya my address real quick.”

I didn’t listen as Franz rattled off his address. All I could do was think back to the moment I saw my suitcases outside Derek’s door. I thought his body seemed tense while he stared out the windows, and what I thought was shame with a bit of frustration could have actually been him lost in thought. I mean, I’d never seen him get lost in his thoughts, so maybe that’s what that looked like for him.

Maybe?

“Madeline?”

Eleanor’s voice ripped me from my thoughts before I took the phone Franz was holding out for me.

“I still need your verbal approval or denial.”

“I agree to the terms,” I choked out.

“I’ll let Mr. Blake know.”

“Thanks, Eleanor,” I breathed.

“And Madeline?”

“Yes?”

“Take care of yourself.”

And with that, Eleanor ended the call and it was just Franz and me again.

“Well,” Franz groaned as he stood up from the bed, “I don’t know ‘bout you, but it’s time to go grocery shopping.”

“Alright,” I sighed, “let me know when you’re ready and we’ll head out.”

“Well, I’m ready, so let’s head out,” he smiled.

“You’re going out in your robe?” I giggled.

“Girl, you on my side of town. They don’t care what you look like ‘round here. They only care ‘bout how you treat others.”

“Plus, I don’t wanna get my work clothes dirty. Gonna need them for the early shift in the mornin’. Gotta be in by four!”

“Well, then we better get a move on so you can eat and get some rest,” I said before I stuffed everything back into my purse.

“I’ll buy the groceries, you get whatever else you want, and I’ll help ya cook.”

“I thought my rent was cooking the meals?” I asked.

“Well, I like to help sometimes; that bother you?”

And I couldn’t help but smile at the kind man standing in the middle of my temporary room who was draped in his red-and-white striped robe and his house slippers.

“Not one bit,” I smiled.

“Good, ‘cause ya don’t have a choice.”

And I laughed for the second time in almost a month as we slowly made our way out the door and onto the street.