Brandi looks beautiful, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to take the wedding video for me to remember it. Before walking down the aisle, I had taken at least three more shots –that’s right: more. I’ve been drinking all day, and even though Gabe has taken away at least two bottles of beer from me, he doesn’t know about all of my stashes. The other guys look just as worried as I sway slightly back and forth, grinning like a moron as Brandi makes her way down the aisle. The pissed off look on her dad’s face tells me that he knows I’m already drunk.

“Just keep your fucking mouth shut and pay attention to the justice of the peace, got it?” Gabe whispers to me.

“Uh-huh,” I say. I’m happy –really, I am. I’m marrying Brandi, so I should be. Why the hell did I drink today? Why in the hell is she dumb enough to keep walking towards me? I’m spiraling, and I know it. She should just run. She really should just run and avoid all the hurt and pain I’m probably going to cause her. She deserves so much better than all of the shit I’ve put her through in the past few months.

As she goes from her father to me, she gives me this look that tells me she knows… and honestly, it’s pretty heartbreaking. She looks really sad; this is supposed to be the happiest day of her life, and I’m fucking ruining it. I take a deep breath. I’m not going to embarrass her in front of all of these people. I grin and bear it, and by some act of God, we manage to make it through the ceremony without me causing a scene. I even make it through my vows without so much as a slur, but I do talk unusually slow –I think some people could probably write it off as nerves.

We do our exit and pile into a back room that the venue has waiting for us and the rest of the bridal party to get ready for pictures. Brandi and I are only going to be alone for a couple of seconds before the rest of the bridal party makes their way down the aisle, but she does not give them time to get here before she lets me know she’s pissed. She punches me in my jaw –not hard, but enough to mean something. “You asshole!” she shouts at me, “You’re drunk! You’re drunk, and the reception hasn’t even started yet! You promised! You promised me!” she smacks me with her bouquet.

“It’s a party, Brandi,” I say, trying hard not to slur my words so as to appear less drunk than I actually am.

“You didn’t use to be like this,” she hisses and throws her $900 bouquet on the ground so that she can push me with both hands.

I almost tumble, but I manage to stay upright. “I just had a little bit of whiskey,” I lie. “I swear, I’ll take it easy, all right?” I try to smile at her and then I make up yet another lie. “I was just a little nervous about the wedding, okay? I just had a little bit to drink to take the nerves away. Baby, I don’t want to ruin this day for you. I’m fine, I swear. If you want, I’ll have nothing but water the rest of the night, okay? I won’t even have a damn soda with dinner.”

She looks like she’s going to cry. Gabe and the maid of honor are entering in through the back door, the rest of the bridal party behind them. I make a quick move, pulling Brandi into me and holding her close. I don’t want her to start crying, not now. “I’m so sorry, okay?” I say and kiss her face. “I shouldn’t have had anything to drink. I’ve been getting carried away lately. I love you. I wouldn’t ever do anything to upset you –not on purpose, at least. Not today, especially. I’ll get some coffee and sober up, and we’ll go to the reception and have fun and start the rest of our lives together, all right?”

She nods and takes a breath before the waterworks can start. She smiles at me and gives in, letting me kiss her. The bridal party enters the room –they’re all loud and rambunctious –each giving us hell in their own special way. We take pictures, and Gabe is kind enough to get me some coffee. Brandi looks gorgeous, and I tell her probably a thousand times. I start thinking about the hotel room we have, and I want the reception to end as soon as possible.

I’m starting to feel sober once dinner is served and I am able to get some food in my stomach. Brandi isn’t as annoyed with me now, and she even gives me permission to have one glass of wine with dinner, and it keeps me a little buzzed through the rest of the evening.

Finally, the event is over, and we head to our hotel. I’m excited, and I’m not going to lie… I snuck one… two more shots in there before we made it to the hotel. I don’t think snuck is the right word because she figured me out. She doesn’t seem to care, though. I guess me staying tipsy is not enough to ruin it for her. She smiles excitedly as we fall down on the bed. I kiss her cheek and caress her lips. I have no idea how to get the complicated wedding gown off of her; it’s tied up in so many places… it looked gorgeous, but damn this is inconvenient. She laughs at my failed effort and shows me where the damn dress unties and unzips.

I remove my shoes, socks, and the top half of my tuxedo as well as my undershirt before climbing on top of her. The enormous ball gown is tossed aside, landing in a giant heap on the floor. She’s got on some sexy white, lacey lingerie that still manages to get me hard as a rock despite the excessive amount of alcohol traipsing through my blood. I run my fingers across her chest, tickling her a bit as we are lying down beside one another. She suddenly stops me as I go to undo the front strap between her breasts. She looks sad again. “How drunk are you right now?” she asks.

“Brandi-” my voice sounds whiny, like a child who has gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“I’m serious, Jonathan,” she says. “This has to stop. This has to stop, or I-”

“Or what?” I ask with a hint of desperation in my tone.

“Or I’ll leave,” she says. “I love you, Jonathan, but I can’t keep taking care of a drunk man every damn night.”

“You won’t have to,” I promise her, and I mean it. “I’m sorry, Brandi. I’m so sorry I embarrassed you at our wedding. I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch lately. I love you so much. I really do, and I want to make this work. I won’t lose you over a damn… addiction,” I say the word, and it makes both of us cringe slightly, but it needed to be said. “Damn it, I need help, Brandi,” I sit up suddenly. Finally saying what’s wrong is making it all come crashing down. “I need help,” I say again, and I feel my eyes start to water. I finally said it out loud. I have an addiction, and I need help.

She takes my face into her hands. “We’re going to get you help. I love you so much, and I’m so glad to hear you admit that there is a problem. Now we can fix it, all right? Together. Just like… just like you helped me with my problem…” She kisses me, and I wrap my arms around her waist. I know she’s referring to her eating disorder; I had stayed by her side through all of that shit.

“For just tonight can we pretend that I don’t have a problem?” I ask and run my fingers across her inner thighs. “I really don’t want tonight to be about that, and I’m sure you don’t either.”

“No, I really don’t,” she says and pulls me down on top of her, her legs wrapping around my hips.

I grin and lean down, kissing her throat and chest. I undo the clamp at the front of her lingerie, revealing her breasts and perfectly toned stomach. “You’re beautiful,” I tell her as I drop my pants and pull her closer to me.

“Jonathan…” she blushes slightly.

I grin, “You’re beautiful, Mrs. Trial.”

That did it; she grabs me and kisses me firmly, and she doesn’t let me come up for breath until I’m to the point of panting. I rub her with my fingers, making her groan a bit before pushing myself up inside her. I take my time, kissing every part of her as I move my shaft slowly in and out of her. She arches her back excitedly, and her fingernails gently scratch my back while I kiss her breasts.

It’s hard to believe I’m married now. I never saw myself in a serious relationship let alone actually tying the knot, and I got to say, it’s the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t believe I almost ruined it. “I love you, Jonathan Trial,” she says with a slight moan in her voice.

“I love you, Brandi Trial.”