It’s probably not surprising that I cancelled my training class; the women all seemed to understand. Vivian had aired my dirty laundry for everyone, and she had hinted that Ambriel wasn’t even mine. I took an early lunch, and I have just been sitting in the break room staring at my turkey sub for twenty minutes. I took two bites out of the thing when I first got in here, and it’s making me sick to my stomach.

I just sit with my head in my hands, hovering my face over my lunch as I contemplate whether or not I want to eat it and risk throwing it all up later. My nerves are shot. I’ve never felt so angry, sick, and betrayed. Could Ambriel really not be mine? It had never occurred to me otherwise. She had gotten pregnant before the split; that would mean Brandi would have had to have cheated on me. How could Vivian even know if she had?

The door to the break room opens, and Laurel pokes her head in. I’m not so sure I want to see Laurel right now of all people. “Hey,” Laurel says and closes the door behind her.

“Hey,” I say without looking up at her.

She comes and sits down beside me. “Look, that crazy bitch was probably just blowing smoke to fuck with your head,” she says. “Brandi is a good woman. I really doubt that she would have cheated on you, and I especially don’t think she would drag you around letting you think that baby wasn’t yours if there was even a slight chance that it wasn’t. I don’t know Brandi well, but as far as I can tell, she is a decent human being. Vivian was just trying to mess with you.”

“Thanks,” I grumble and look up. I lean back in my chair and glance her way. “Brandi went running to someone I couldn’t stand the moment we split up. It makes me wonder if maybe she does lack good judgement. Maybe she did cheat on me? Maybe Ambriel’s not mine…” Saying it out loud makes my stomach churn. I really think I might just throw up or pass out.

“Come on, she looks just like you,” Laurel says, and I raise a brow her way. “Marianna showed me a picture. She’s beautiful, Jonathan.”

“She looks like Brandi,” I say. “God, should I talk to Brandi about this?”

“Does Brandi know about Vivian?” Laurel asks.

“Unfortunately she does. Vivian is not one of my prouder moments. It was less than a year ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago that I was that sleazy jackass cheating on his girlfriend. I broke up with her before I asked Brandi to marry me. I wanted to get serious and stop fooling around on her.” I shake my head. “This is just karma coming back to bite me in the ass.”

“No, just a slutty ex who’s wanting to shake things up. That woman obviously loves drama, I mean, did you see that goofy fall she did when you shoved her? She just came up here to fuck around with you, Jonathan,” Laurel puts a hand on my shoulder.

“What should I do?” I ask.

“I think Vivian was just blowing smoke, but you know both Vivian and Brandi better than I do,” Laurel says. She removes her hand. “Do what you think you need to do, but I would be careful. You don’t want to ruin your relationship with Brandi over nothing. Your relationship still seems a bit… fragile.”

“That’s an understatement,” I say, but suddenly a smile crosses over my face. “Thank you, Laurel.”

“Of course. Anytime,” she says and stands. “Good luck. Oh, and just because I feel like screwing with you a little bit myself –did you really use to hit that? I mean, really? What the fuck, Jonathan? Pink leopard print yoga pants? I mean, if that’s what does it for you….”

“Shut up,” I say with a laugh as she leaves the room.

Alex lets me leave work nearly an hour early today. I think me being here is just killing the mood after all of that drama anyways. Just what I need is for a hell of a lot of drama to go down in front of an entire gym full of women; I’m sure the entire city is going to be talking about this shit.

I arrive home, and Brandi is passed out in our bed. I smile. That must mean Ambriel is sleeping. The baby monitor is turned on next to our bed, and I can see her starting to fuss. I can’t help myself. I go into her room, and I can hear the soft fussing sounds starting to turn into a cry. I pick her up and hold her close to me. She’s still hooked up to a little oxygen tube, and there is a monitor on her foot keeping a close eye on her heart rate. She’s healthy, but the doctors have us taking precautions. Glancing out her window, I see a police officer pulling up for the night. They have pretty much been arriving with the sunset and leaving with the sunrise.

Ambriel lets out a loud cry, and I bounce her slightly. Suddenly she coos, and my heart melts. My stomach drops. What if she’s not mine? I’ve never loved anything so much in my life. Fuck Vivian for screwing with me like this!

“Shh…” I say and sway back and forth. Holy shit, I got her back to sleep! I wind up sitting in the rocking chair just because I want to spend some time holding her. I lay her little head on my chest; she’s so small, it’s crazy. I can’t get what Vivian said out of my head. I swear, if this turns out to be a load of shit Vivian made up, I might strangle her for doing this to me. Why would she mess with me like this? Ambriel sleeps with her little mouth wide open; she has a slight snore.

I glance around the room; pink everywhere. So much pink, it makes me a little dizzy. The stuffed kangaroo with the pink gloves is sitting right beside the rocking chair, and I kind of grin at it. I think back to the ultrasound photo of Ambriel holding up her little fists. She has to be mine. I cringe. What if this is why Brandi has turned around so quickly? What if she’s feeling guilty for cheating on me and that’s why she’s been so laid back with everything? Surely she wouldn’t just go around lying to me about this?

A lump forms in the base of my throat. Ambriel wiggles in my arms, and I stare down at her as her little eyes struggle to blink open. She goes cross eyed for a moment while her eyes focus in on me, and I laugh slightly –a tear escapes my eye, and I wipe it away quick. God, what if she’s not mine? I can’t stand the thought of it. I’m going to be sick. “Hey, sweetheart,” I say to her as her eyes open as wide as her mouth. There is this funny look on her face, like she’s shocked yet calm. I feel myself laughing slightly, but I’m crying. It’s like Brandi’s damn hormones are contagious, I swear.

Ambriel lets this loud, long-winded sigh escape and then starts wiggling in my arms again, trying to get comfortable. She lets out a quiet cry, but it subsides quickly when she wiggles her head into a more comfortable position. I can hear Brandi stirring down the hall –probably on her way here now, and I rush to wipe away tears before she has a chance to see.