hannah
Two years earlier
“I’m freaking out.” I waved my arms around, trying to air out my body. “I’m literally sweating bullets, Jasper… they’re gonna be so mad with us for keeping a secret for so long… OMG what if she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore? This is a terrible idea! Let’s just go home and live in secret forever.” I knew I was rambling, but the words wouldn’t stop flying out of my mouth.
I tugged on his hand and tried to lead him away from Parker’s door.
“Seriously, woman, breathe. We’re telling them today. Park first and then Little Red after. I’m putting my foot down, barbie, I can’t go on like this. Lotte pretty much caught you the other night, do you really want to have to lie to her again?”
I looked up at him with big wide eyes. “No, but what if she gets mad at me?”
“She’s not going to get mad with you. She’s your best friend. I know she’s having a rough time right now, but she’ll be happy for you, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He opened the door without even bothering to knock first.
“Park?” he called out.
“Living room,” Parker replied.
I took a deep breath and followed after Jasper.
I needed to brace myself for this. Not only for telling Parker that Jasper and I were together now, but for the state that Parker was bound to be in.
I’d come over last week and he was not in a good way. The place stunk, he hadn’t opened the curtains and he really needed a shower.
I’d been tempted to give him a good earful, to try and pull him out of his slump… but I couldn’t do it. He just looked so… sad.
Lotte didn’t look much better.
She got up every day now, she showered and put on makeup and went to work, but she was like a shell of her former self.
She’d spent about a week in a depressed state, and if I was honest, I didn’t know which version I preferred. At least when she was crying in bed she was being honest.
I couldn’t understand why she’d broken up with him in the first place. I mean sure, it was a hell of a lot to get used to, but she could’ve handled it if she wanted to.
I was hoping like hell that one of these days, one of them would wake up and realise that it didn’t have to be this way – that they could fix what was broken and get back what they had.
I glanced around the living room.
At least he’s cleaned up.
He himself didn’t look any better though.
His hair was long and scruffy, and he hadn’t shaved in at least a week.
He was flicking through channels on the TV, but he didn’t seem to be even looking at what was on; it was almost as though he was looking right through it.
“Looking good, Park,” Jasper drawled, tousling Parker’s hair as he went past.
Parker gave him the middle finger salute.
“Hey,” I said quietly as I followed after Jasper.
“Hey, Hannah, how’s it going?” he replied without looking at me.
It had been a little over two months since he and Lotte had split, and he still looked like death over it.
“I’d be better if you’d let me give you a haircut.”
He chuckled humourlessly. “Maybe another time.”
Jasper patted the spot next to him on the couch and indicated that I should sit.
Here goes nothing.
I sat down next to him and he took my hand in his.
Parker stopped flicking though channels and stared at us from the corner of his eye.
“You guys have something to share?”
“Yeah, man,” Jasper spoke. “We’re together now.”
He beamed at me, and I realised just how important it was to him to be able to say those words aloud.
Parker huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, no shit.”
I shot Jasper a questioning look.
He shrugged at me before asking. “You knew?”
Parker turned and looked at us, throwing his arm over the back of the couch. “Of course I knew. You two suck at sneaking around.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I thought we’d been doing a great job of keeping our shit under wraps.
A smirk spread across Jasper’s face.
“Seriously, she’s always over there, J. You never shut the curtains, you’re up half the night, and you look at her like the light shines out of her, it wasn’t exactly hard to figure out.”
“We wanted to tell you… it just kinda… took a while. When we finally got together, officially, we decided to keep it to ourselves for a little bit and then, well you know what happened… and it just didn’t seem fair to say anything,” I explained.
“I get it,” he answered simply.
He went back to flicking through his channels.
“You’re not pissed?” I probed.
He stopped flicking and glanced at me. “Hell no, I’m not pissed. I’m happy for you guys. You’ll drive each other fuckin’ crazy though, so have fun with that.”
He smiled at me, and it was the first genuine smile I’d seen on his face since the day Charlotte left.
“One down, one to go,” Jasper whispered in my ear.
* * *
“Lotte, you here?” It wasn’t really a question. If she wasn’t working, then she was here. This was our day off, so I knew she would be home.
“In here,” she called.
“We’ve got this,” Jasper whispered to me as he gave me a light shove in the direction of the kitchen.
“Have you got a minute? We need to talk to you.”
I watched her freeze and slowly turn around to face us.
“Oh, Jasper…” she breathed, her face a mask of relief.
I felt terrible when I realised that she’d been worried I had Parker with me.
“It’s just us.” I smiled sadly at her.
“Sure… good… what are you guys up to?”
She turned back to the chopping board in front of her.
“We need to talk something through with you,” I answered nervously.
“Shoot.”
I looked to Jasper and he gave me a ‘you can do it’ nod.
“So… we’ve actually been wanting to tell you this for a while now… but it just wasn’t the right time…”
“Just spit it out already.”
“We’re together.”
She laughed, but didn’t turn around.
“I’m serious, we’re in a relationship.”
She dropped her knife onto the bench and slowly spun around to face us.
“You’re serious?”
I bit down on my lip and nodded.
Jasper wrapped his arms around me. “I’m serious as hell about her, Little Red.”
“Please don’t hate me, I was just doing what I thought was right,” I pleaded.
“Hate you? I could never hate you.” She flew across the room and enveloped me in a hug. “I’m so happy for you.”
“You are?” I murmured against her shoulder.
“Of course I am. I don’t know why you hid this from me, but it doesn’t matter now.”
Jasper chuckled. “I told you she’d be cool.”
“I’m always cool.” She laughed.
“I just couldn’t tell you earlier, not when you’re having such a hard time…”
Charlotte looked at the floor. “I get it… you don’t need to explain yourself.”
“So, you’re okay?”
“I’ll be fine.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Seriously, I’m so excited for you, you both deserve to be happy, and I can tell by looking at you that you are.”
Jasper kissed the side of my head and then moved around me to give Lotte a hug. “I’ll give you girls a few minutes.”
“I had a feeling about you two, ya know? I probably would have realised what was going on under my nose if I hadn’t been so… distracted…” She sat down at the table and I joined her.
“I’m sorry… to start with I tried to just keep it light. I tried to keep my distance from him, but it really didn’t work.” I scrunched up my nose and Lotte giggled.
“I’m so happy that you’re happy. I’m jealous, but happy.”
“I wish you weren’t hurting.”
“I’m sorry that my miserable life meant you had to keep secrets.”
“Are you really okay?”
She shook her head and her hands shook. “No. But I will be one day I guess… I have to be.”
I wrapped my arm around her and let her cry on my shoulder.