hannah
My best friend was one badass bitch.
That post that she’d cooked up had absolutely slayed that giant drama queen, Shelley.
And those hash tags…
Don’t even get me started…
Parker was one lucky bastard having a woman as dedicated to him as my best friend was.
She’d been scared, but she’d kept her cool. She hadn’t flown off the handle like I would have.
I was the woman who reacted first and thought it through second.
If someone had shown me a picture of Jasper and another woman and claimed it was current, I would have flipped my lid.
Just the thought of the fictional scenario made my blood boil.
I took a deep breath and reality hit me like a slap in the face.
Jasper could be with other women if he wanted to be. He could be with another woman right now for all I knew… and he wouldn’t be doing a thing wrong.
This was the point Jess had been trying to make the other night.
He wasn’t going to be mine if I couldn’t sort my shit out.
I was the one who was forcing this stupid friends bullshit on him.
What the hell am I doing?
I wanted him to be mine. Officially.
I didn’t want to fight my feelings anymore.
He was a truly incredible man, he was patient, kind, and sexy as hell.
He liked to wind me up, but he always found a way to calm me down again afterwards.
So worth it.
The man was an absolute god, and I wanted him to be all mine.
I can’t go on like this.
I had to tell him that I wanted more, before it was too late.
I knew I was taking a risk, and that I might end up with my heart broken, but I couldn’t ignore the truth any longer.
If he were to leave me now, I’d still be broken.
I knew I needed to work on myself, and the issues I had – but right now it wasn’t my main priority.
He is.
There was no sense at keeping him at arm’s length – I was already invested.
I may as well enjoy the whole package.
I looked at my phone again and considered calling him, but decided against it.
This wasn’t a conversation we could have over the phone.
We both had our hands full right now anyway.
Charlotte was fretting like an old woman, and I doubted Parker was going to be much better.
I had a feeling that he would be on his way home, but I didn’t want to get Charlotte’s hopes up.
I’d done my best to placate her, but she was still so far from being relaxed.
I was over here having a mega revelation and borderline melt down and she was so distracted, she hadn’t even noticed.
“Why don’t we watch a movie in bed? There’s no point in just sitting around waiting for a call that probably isn’t coming,” I suggested.
She glanced longingly at the screen of her phone again and sighed.
“Fine.”
I rushed over to the DVD cabinet and grabbed the first action thriller I saw. There was no way in hell I was getting caught in the rom-com trap, she would have been bawling within minutes.
I flicked the lights off and we headed towards my room.
We both froze as we heard a key turning in a lock.
What the hell…
“Did you just hear—”
“Shhhh,” I interrupted her whisper.
Shit, shit, shit… someone’s here.
“Grab a weapon,” I hissed.
“I don’t have a fucking weapon,” she hissed back. “I’m a makeup artist, not a ninja.”
“We’re both going to die,” I whispered. I knew I was being dramatic, but I was starting to panic.
Where the hell is Jasper when I need him?
“The bathroom,” she whispered back. “Get to the bathroom, right now!”
The sound of the door handle turning spurred us into action and we dashed for the hallway.
“They’ve got a key… we’re gonna die!” I cried, in full hysteria mode now.
We were the only people that were supposed to have keys to this place. But clearly someone else had one too.
Charlotte shoved me into the bathroom and locked the door behind us.
I started babbling, I pointed to the phone in her hands, but I wasn’t sure what the words coming out of my mouth were.
I’m gonna die.
This is how it ends.
Charlotte had the phone to her ear, but I didn’t have even the faintest clue who she was calling.
I was going to get murdered in my own home and I never even had the chance to tell Jasper that I was in love with him.
Wait, what?
The realisation that I was in love with him hit me like a pickup truck.
Holy shit.
I love him.
God, I’ve been an idiot.
I was busy floating around on cloud nine when I saw Lotte reaching for the lock.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hissed, swatting her hand away from the door handle.
“It’s Parker.”
“You are bat-shit crazy, woman, he’s not even in town… are you trying to get us killed?”
“It’s Parker for fuck’s sake,” she repeated more loudly this time.
“Shhhhhh,” I shushed her.
She may have been my best friend, but right now the silly bitch was going to get us killed.
“I bet you two grand that it’s Parker,” she told me, as she held my arm back and turned the lock with her free hand.
I attempted fruitlessly to grab for the lock, but it was too late.
“I can’t use two grand if I’m dead,” I cried dramatically.
She slipped out the door and I slammed it shut behind her, re-fixing the lock.
It was every man for himself now.
“Parker?” I heard her call.
I pressed my ear up against the door. I heard a lot of muffled voices and then crying from Lotte.
“I hear crying!” I yelled. “Are you being killed?”
I heard a half-laugh half-cry.
“I told you it was Parker, you fool.”
“How’d he get a key?” I demanded.
I was no sucker.
I wasn’t coming out of this hiding spot until I was good and convinced that I wasn’t about to be murdered.
There was more muffled talking I couldn’t make out.
“Forced Jasper to make a copy you mean,” I heard his voice and my whole body relaxed.
“Jasper?” I called timidly from inside the still-locked bathroom.
“Yeah, barbie?” he called back.
Oh thank god.
They really are here.
I slowly unlocked the door and peeked around the frame.
Sure enough, Parker was there, his arms wrapped around an exhausted-looking Lotte.
And then there was him.
My knight in shining armour.
“I’m not giving you two grand,” I told Charlotte as I breezed past, heading towards Jasper.
She laughed, and I could tell that she and Parker were going to be just fine.
“I think I need a hug too,” I told Jasper as I reached him. I was trying to play it cool, but between the threat of an intruder and the realisation that I was in love with him, I was well and truly on edge.
“Bring it in, you little fruit cake.”
I could hear Parker and Charlotte talking behind me, but I took no notice.
I was exactly where I needed to be. I could feel his head resting on top of mine as he breathed me in.
“She’s exhausted,” Parker spoke to Jasper. “I’ll be staying the night, you wanna head home or crash here?”
“He can stay here,” I answered quickly. “I don’t really want to be alone right now either.”
Parker nodded and carried Lotte off to her room.
“C’mon.” I tugged him in the direction of my bedroom. “We need to talk.”
* * *
“I lied,” I blurted out the second we were alone.
His eyes shot up to meet mine in question.
“I lied to you… when I told you that you didn’t scare me… I lied.” I felt my bottom lip trembling. “You frighten the hell out of me, Jasper… I’ve tried to keep my distance emotionally from you and protect myself, but I can’t do it anymore. I’m not only hurting myself, I’m hurting you too and that’s the last thing I ever wanted to do.”
He stood tall as he moved his incredible body into my personal space. He brushed my hair back from my face and cupped my chin in his rough hand. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I was wrong to keep you at arm’s length… I want you. I want all of you; I can’t have another night with you and not know if it was my last.”
He chuckled darkly and leaned in so close I could feel his breath against my cheek. “I lied too. I told you I could do this ‘friends’ bullshit…. I told you I could do it… I fuckin’ lied.”
I gasped.
“You’re my woman, not my god damn friend… and if you think that I’d ever let one of these nights be our last, then you don’t know me as well as you think.”
His words sent a bolt of hope ricocheting through my body.
“What are you saying?” I whispered.
“I’m saying you’re mine, Hannah, you have been since the first moment I laid a finger on that soft skin of yours. One look in those green eyes and I was totally screwed.”
“But you said—”
“Forget what I said,” he interrupted me. “I said what you wanted to hear, because I knew you’d get there eventually… I’m a patient man, BG, but you’ve pushed me to my limits these past few weeks.”
“You were humouring me?” I whispered.
“Hell yes I was. I’ve wanted this, you and me, from that first night, Hannah. I’ve just been waiting for you to catch up.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long.”
He wrapped his arms around me, his smile wider than I’d ever seen it.
“You look so happy.”
“You’ve got no idea,” he growled before welding his mouth to mine.
His lips were firm, but soft, tender but passionate.
He nipped at my bottom lip and I moaned.
“I’ve missed that sound.” He chuckled as he rested his forehead against mine.
“I’ve missed you.” I kissed his lips again.
“It probably makes me a terrible person, but I’m stoked we’re back early.”
“Then I’m a terrible person too.”
We stood there, holding onto each other, just soaking up the feeling of being together.
I thought about Lotte and Parker and the nonsense that had just threatened to tear them apart.
I didn’t want my life to be like that. I knew we couldn’t hide forever, but for now, maybe we could.
“Do you hate the idea of keeping this to ourselves for a little bit?”
“As long as you’ve finally got the memo, I couldn’t care less,” he answered without even taking a minute to think about it.
“Even if we didn’t tell Park and Lotte just yet…?”
His eyes narrowed slightly as he opened his mouth to speak.
“I just need a minute to adjust and enjoy this, once we come out, then everyone will know, and it won’t be just ours anymore… I know you’re not the rock star, but trust me, you’ve got your own fan club, and you being off the market is going to be news,” I blurted out before he could give me an answer.
“I’ve been off the market for a while now and hell hasn’t frozen over.” He smirked.
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. “You could have filled me in on that piece of information...”
I crawled over to him and swung my leg over his hips so I was straddling him.
“You weren’t ready to hear it.”
He was right. He was always right when it came to knowing what I needed.
“So, you’re my boyfriend now?” My heart was beating so fast at the very idea of it, I was seriously worried about having a heart attack.
“Nope,” he replied seriously. “Boyfriend isn’t going to cut it. That shit’s for kids. You’re my future, baby, you’re the most important part of it and there’s no way I’m walking around being called a ‘bf’.”
Relief flooded through me and I laughed. I laughed so long my sides hurt.
Jasper Jones didn’t do anything by the book.
He was right; if he could put up with me, then I was his future… that type of crazy dedication deserved something more than the term ‘boyfriend’.
“Then how am I meant to introduce you when we go public with this thing?” I ran my hands through the longer strands of hair on the top of his head.
His eyes sparkled, and I knew I’d opened myself up to a bunch of smartass suggestions.
“How about you just call me… ‘god of sex’?”
I shook my head.
“Maybe… ‘big dick Jasper’?”
I giggled and shook my head again.
“What about, ‘the best I’ve ever had’?”
“True, but no.”
He grinned triumphantly.
“You know I don’t actually give a rat’s ass what you call me, as long as I get to be the best you’ve ever had…. right now. Preferably several times and then just throw that on rinse and repeat every day.”
“You’ve got yourself a deal.”
“And if you want to keep this quiet I can do that, but only for now, I’m not hiding you forever.”
I nodded in agreement as I lay down on the bed.
He toed off his shoes and stripped off his shirt. “You know what, there’s one more thing I need to say.”
I sat up and looked at him. I knew this was important; Jasper’s face was never this serious.
“I’ve discovered something over this past week or so… all this time we’ve spent together…” He seemed at a loss for words, like he wasn’t sure how he was meant to tell me what he wanted to.
I caught his eye and he stared at me with so much emotion it took my breath away.
“I love you, Hannah, that’s what I wanted to tell you.”
He loves me?
Thank fuck for that.
I crawled across the bed and threw myself into his arms.
“I love you too.”