Lotus was calling me, several times nonstop. She wanted me home, but I had work to do. And tonight was not a pleasant night. No, tonight was anything but. Tyler, the man who moved our product, was standing in front of Cole, wanting a larger cut than usual. Our price hadn’t gone up, so I didn’t see how he thought he could ask such a question.
Cole was arguing with him, and Tyler was arguing back and pushing to the max. Cole wouldn’t approve anything without checking with me first, but I could see he was at his breaking point.
“That’s your final answer?” Tyler’s voice seemed relaxed now, not as hostile as it was only moments ago.
“Fuck off! If you want out… you’re out.”
We had expanded. Our lab was now further into the woods, so that also meant further to drive, which sucked because it means late nights and being away from Lotus.
Tyler whistled loud. Cole looked at him like he’d gone mad. His eyebrows scrunched, and he wiped at his chin trying to work it out. Then the front door was kicked in. Voices became loud. Cole’s face instantly morphed from confused to angry.
Tyler had brought back up. He brought men with guns and ammo right to our doorstep. I watched as he pulled his gun free, stepping back from Cole and aiming it in his direction. Then I looked to Cole, trying to reach for his own weapon, but he wasn’t going to make it in time.
Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, everything had slowed down, just like it does in the movies when everything went quiet. With the gun in my hand, I stepped one foot in front of the other as I made my way out from behind the door. One pull with my finger and Tyler lay at Cole’s feet.
Cole finally got hold of his gun and turned to face Tyler who was already down. He nodded his head to me, then aimed his gun at the posse Tyler had brought. Obviously, they worked for him and were promised something.
One bullet managed to hit me, and that was when everything sped up like I was on speed. As I heard the blood pumping hard throughout my system, everything seemed to surge around me. The only reason I didn’t actually indulge in the drugs I produced was because I knew I’d become addicted to the high. I was addicted to the power that the gun had held over me, and the high that produced, and it was a massive high to wield that kind of power. To know, in the end, you’d be victorious. I knew I would, even despite how cocky it may have sounded. My hands and feet were fast, much quicker than most.
Two shots rang out, and two men dropped hard to the floor. I heard the echo ring around the room as the guns stopped, and everything returned to normal. It was just myself and Cole remaining, breathing heavily while looking around the room. Cole kicked Tyler in the leg to ensure he was dead, then he walked away from him and out the door.
There were sounds everywhere yet nowhere. The loud rings of guns firing had stopped, but I could hear the birds in the trees, the animals that lived in the bushes and the crickets started chirping again. After the adrenaline had run out, I seemed to be super observant. Sounds were becoming more focused than before, or maybe I was just never interested.
It was the high.
The high of killing.
What a fucking high it was.
It almost touched the high that Lotus was to me. Almost.
Kneeling down to catch my breath and regain my composure, Cole walked in like none of what had happened had affected him. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe he reacted differently than me. He flicked a bright blue tarp out and placed it next to the body closest to the door. Then Cole yanked hard, and placed the body on the tarp and began to pull it out the door. When he came back in for the second, he was almost out of breath.
Cole pointed to me. “You’re helping me bury them. Go, start digging, while I get them outside.”
He knew. He knew I was useless for a while after something like this had happened and he had to instruct me.
The first time it had happened we were sixteen, and I’d just killed his stepfather. The asshole was beating him and pulling his pants down as I walked in. Everything had moved in slow motion, and right at that time, I’d wished it hadn’t. That image was not one you want in slow motion, believe me. My hand had reached for the large knife his stepfather was threatening him with, and with a quick flick, it went straight through his father’s back and out through his chest. He had collapsed onto a very mad but screaming Cole. My hand clutched the knife hard that night, and when Cole managed to move and finally figure out his stepdad was dead, I was already coming down from something I knew I would become addicted to.
Except, I have one addiction that was now even more powerful than that.
And she was blowing up my phone right as I dug the dirt from the ground.
Once the hole was deep enough, we threw the bodies in, hoping no one would ever find them and the ground would decay them away. Walking back, my phone started up again, and Cole shook his head laughing. “I’ll drive you home.” And he did because I was in no frame to drive myself.
Once we arrived home, Lotus was sitting waiting on the doorstep with only the moonlight shining down on her. She didn’t stand as I exited the car, or even when Cole drove off. As I walked toward her, she stared hard at me. The moment I was within her reach, she stood, hands on her hips.
“Where have you been?” It was a demand. She didn’t care if I went out, it was only when I didn’t tell her where I was going.
“Working.”
She scoffs, her hand came up fast, and she smacked my face right across my lip, making it bleed. It had been like this for a good few months, the punishment. Maybe I asked for it, maybe I didn’t. The end result was worth every bruise she gave me. Lotus stormed up the stairs and into the house. Following her, I closed the door. Something whizzed past my head fast, and it smashed, shattering across the floor.
“You’re a bastard,” she yelled. Another glass is thrown just missing me, while tears streamed down her face in her anger. “You think this is what I want, to live in this house by myself? Well, fuck you.” Another flew from her hand, and this one hit me square on the leg. Taking a step toward her in the kitchen, she shook her head. Just before she could reach for anything further to throw, my hands wrapped around each wrist effectively stopping her. She fought me, kicked me in the stomach making us both drop to the ground. Her mouth came down on my shoulder and she sunk her teeth in, marking me. Rolling her over, she screamed, her chest now on the ground, her hands pinned behind her back.
“Keep drowning, Lotus.” My breath was on her neck, and she fought me at first but then started to calm down.
“You’re drowning me, Orion. Who is this person? I’m not her. What are you doing to me? All I can think of is you. I’m drowning in you.” Her head laid down, and my hands released hers from their confines. I could see her tears on the floor next to her face. I leaned down and kissed her softly on the arch of her neck. Turning Lotus so I could see her, blood was covering the inside of her neck. It wouldn’t usually bother me, but any blood near her made me freak. She didn’t deserve to be marred.
Even with every fight we had like this, I always managed to calm her down. Even when I was angry, I usually smashed things, but never near her.
What were we doing to each other?
Maybe the words were turning our love into something else.
Maybe we were drowning. Maybe she was right.
Rushing off to find the first aid kit, I move back to the kitchen. Lotus was still lying on the floor but now on her back. I began to clean and dress her wound. She watched me, not uttering a word as I attended to her. When I was done, I picked her up and carried her to our bed, the one place we hadn’t destroyed. Yet.
“I’ll forever drown in you, Lotus. It’s just how I was made.”
She curled into me as I laid her down with me, and then curled herself into my side staying very still.
“It shouldn’t be like this for us.”
I stroked her hair in calming motions.
She was right. It shouldn’t, but it was.
Eventually, every flower died.
Lotus turned so she could face me. Her hands came up to my cheeks, and she kissed me. She always kissed me with everything she could. It was one of the things I loved most about her, her ability to love, especially someone like me. She pulled at her clothes as she removed herself from my lips, and once naked, she straddled me. Lotus reached for my hands placing them on her breasts, as she started to move and create motion for herself. Her hand pulled at a tie she had in her red hair, and it loosened skimming down her back. My hands that were cupping her breasts pinched at her nipples letting her get all the friction she wanted, just as she reached between us to undo my pants. My hand ran along the line of her collarbone, where her skin was now marked, and possibly would be forever.
What had I done to her? Not a mark on her perfect body before me, now there was evidence of me everywhere. You only had to look at the ghost in her eyes when I wasn’t there, to the violence that sparked purely from my presence.
Fuck! Love trumped it all.
That was why neither of us left. It was so fucking powerful, you couldn’t put out the flames with water even if you tried.
In one swift motion, I was in her. Lotus didn’t touch me as she moved. Her head stayed backward, and I let her use me to get her fill.
It was what she did afterward, after we fought. Used me to remind us both that I was hers. That was one thing I would never forget. How could you forget? She was, well… everything.
She came first. But I didn’t let her fall onto me like she wanted. I grabbed hold of her hips and moved her even faster, making sure she felt every inch as I slid in and out of her, hard and fast. Lotus gripped my shoulders with her hands and dug her nails in, and before too long I knew she was about to come again. And as I did, a loud moan entered my ears and her nails eased out of my skin on my shoulders.
Lotus stayed still, not moving and then giggled. “You can’t touch me there tonight now.”
I laughed at her as well. My hand, always, and I mean always, found its way to her, in her panties to be exact. I didn’t believe her at first until she took a photo of me lying on her shoulder with my hands down her panties.
“It’s love, baby.” I had said, but she said it was sexual harassment. Then laughed.
Maybe it was.
Maybe even in my subconscious, I knew where I belonged. With her. In her. All the fucking time.
Pity that life got in the way.
It’s a shame nothing worked out as we planned.
No, that was our second to last fight.
The next would be our last.