Although Avery and Krampus wanted to make up for lost time, they still had a lot to do to prepare for Christmas — both the Christmas up at The North Pole, as well as the Christmas they’d spend together. Krampus didn’t have any bad boys that he’d had to train for The Ride. He was expected to help Santana with The Ride by working the comms station with some other Christmas elves, communicating with the eight shifters that Santana had borrowed from Boreas. The eight penguin shifters would gain the shifts of the magical reindeer, for a single night, and use them to fly through the air, leading Santana’s sleigh so that he could deliver presents to children all around the world on Christmas Eve, an event known at The North Pole and The South Pole as ‘The Ride.’

Avery had to throw a Christmas party. She’d outsourced the planning and theming of the Christmas party to her seasonal temp, Jezebel. Of course, Jezebel’s suggestion for the party had been wholly inappropriate, but, Avery had a backup plan. Instead of Jezebel’s ‘Ho Ho Ho’ing Hoes’ party, they’d have a ‘Christmas in the woods’ themed party, with freshly cut pine trees from Camp Kringle.

Of course, there was more to Christmas than just work — even for a Christmas demon and a Christmas elf. They decided to have their own Christmas dinner on Christmas Day, down at Avery’s place in The Wreath, but of course, Krampus couldn’t just eat the dinner. He had to help prepare it too — or at least bother Avery while she made sure her kitchen was ready for that meal.

Krampus had dragged all the fine Christmas china up from the basement of Avery’s large house in town. Her home looked a lot like a fancy ski lodge, in no small part due to the amount of free labor she’d gotten Krampus to contribute into fixing the place up. Avery fussed about the kitchen, putting away the bags of grocery she’d gotten with Krampus…and of course, Krampus hadn’t paid much attention to the shopping, as he was more focused on the way Avery’s curves bounced as she bent down to get things off the lowest shelves. The only reason Avery tolerated that was that she got to watch him reach for stuff on the highest shelves.

“What are you planning to make for Christmas dinner?” asked Krampus.

“Oh, the usual stuff,” said Avery. “Probably a fruitcake, a big batch of marzipan piggies, and of course, a roast goose.”

“Why have roast goose when you can have beefcake?” asked Krampus, putting Avery’s hand on his chest.

“What has you so sure that you’re going to have a place at my Christmas dinner table?” sassed Avery. “After all, talking like that might just get you on The Naughty List.”

“Babe, that’s impossible,” said Krampus. “I’m already at the top of that List. I’m the definition of Naughty. And after what I’m going to do to you on your Christmas dinner table, you might just get on that list too.”

“Well, you’re going to get on my Naughty List if you don’t get off the counter,” said Avery, shooing the demon off of the granite island. “I just wiped those down!”

“What, are you worried I’ll shed straw on them?” asked Krampus, making a fist and releasing it, causing straw to come down on the counter and then, disappear into nothing. “Just kidding. That hasn’t happened, since, well…we happened.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack,” said Avery, shaking her head. “It’s just that I don’t need your stinky demon farts, well, stinkin’ them up!”

“Then give me something to do,” said Krampus, getting off the counter.

“Go grab that nutcracker over there,” said Avery. “Over there, on the counter, there are some big ol’ bags of mixed nuts. I got ‘em on sale. I need you to crack them for me.”

“You don’t have a Christmas elf spell for that?” asked Krampus.

“I do — but you said you wanted something to do,” said Avery.

“Say no more,” said Krampus. He went and grabbed two big plastic bowls, nested the smaller bowl in the bigger bowl, and put the still closed bag of mixed nuts — in the shell — in the bowl. He grabbed Avery’s nutcracker and carried the lot over to the other side of the kitchen island where Avery was mixing dough.

“That’s a decorative nutcracker,” said Avery, looking at the wooden toy. “I meant you needed to get the kind for cracking nuts.”

“You don’t use this one to crack nuts?” asked Krampus.

“No — that’s why I said it’s decorative,” said Avery. “Does that word mean something different in Hell?”

“Fine, fine,” said Krampus, rolling his eyes. “We’ll do it your way this time.”

Krampus went and grabbed the old metal nutcracker from Avery’s countertop crock of specialized tools like her garlic press. He rolled up his sleeves, washed his hands, and went back to the counter.

Krampus got through approximately half of a single nut before the nutcracker broke in his hands.

“Krampus — did I just hear what I think I heard?” asked Avery. “Did you just break my nutcracker?”

“If I lied, would that be better or worse?” asked Krampus, holding up the two halves of the metal nutcracker.

“Okay, you know — I’m gonna look away now, and when I look back, can you promise that I’ll have a functioning nutcracker?” asked Avery.

“Yes — deal, absolutely,” said Krampus.

“Alright,” said Avery, said Avery, shaking her head. She hummed along to the Christmas music.

“You know — you can sing out loud,” said Krampus.

“I’m not very good at singing,” said Avery.

“Are you fishing for compliments? Because I know you’re good at singing,” said Krampus.

“I’m objectively bad at it,” said Avery. “There’s a reason I’m a cooking Christmas elf, not a caroling Christmas elf! Well, at least professionally…”

“Well, I like the sound of your singing voice, so maybe I have shitty taste, I don’t know,” admitted Krampus. “What I do know is, I like how you sing — and this is your damn house. You should sing if you want to sing. Would you be singing if I wasn’t here?”

“No…yes,” admitted Avery.

“Well, your biggest fan is here, so maybe you ought to put on a show — or not,” said Krampus. “As I said — it’s your damn house.”

Avery kept on humming to herself as she finished her task. Then, she caught herself saying some of the words to the song in a sing-song voice as she cleaned up…and then, she said them a bit louder, until, she was singing along to the music while wiping down the counters. It distracted her from how frikkin’ annoyed she was that Krampus had busted her nutcracker!

“How’s the temp working out?” asked Krampus.

“Well, this one’s a bad girl,” said Avery. “I didn’t get an assignment from up North this year, so I just hired whoever I wanted. She was sweet during the interview, and she’s good at baking, but that girl needs a distraction.”

“Like a bad boy werebear lumberjack learning a lesson about Christmas magic?” asked Krampus.

“Yeah, well, apparently you can turn into a bear and a goat, so I think she’s just going to have to have a really boring Christmas,” said Avery.

“It’s been a weird season,” admitted Krampus. “It kinda makes me feel…bad.”

“Why?” asked Avery.

“Well, every year, we do something Nice for other people,” said Krampus.

“You mean I do something Nice and make you help me,” said Avery.

“Yeah – what I said,” joked Krampus. “Well, there’s no special project for us this year.”

“There’s a lot of Christmas left,” said Avery. “I’m sure we’ll make Christmas special for someone. By now, that’s one of our Christmas traditions – helping others believe in Christmas magic.”

“There,” said Krampus, as Avery puttered around her own kitchen. “All better.”

Avery looked up. Nuts were getting cracked into the bowl…by the decorative nutcracker, which was working at a Hellish speed! Nuts magically went into the mouth of the nutcracker, got crushed, and then, they spat the nuts back out into the bowl — and luckily, they weren’t covered in spit!

“You asked for a functioning nutcracker,” said Krampus.

“I like it,” said Avery. “I’m just confused by it. You know what? This is like asking where Santana goes to pee during The Ride, given he’s up in that sleigh for frikkin’ hours — I’d rather not know.”

“Well, actually, there’s a funny explanation for that,” started Krampus.

“I’d rather not know!” insisted Avery.

“Well…do you need any help in the kitchen now?” asked Krampus.

“Nope — all my stuff is done,” said Avery. “All you have to do is — oh. I guess the nutcracker’s handling that for you, huh.”

“Guess that means we have some time to kill,”‘ said Krampus. “So…are we going to get Naughty?”

“You know what?” asked Avery with a wink. “That sounds Nice — that sounds real Nice.”