Q: Settle the debate. Is it ‘frikkin’’ or ‘fuckin’’, and is it ‘bullshizz’ or ‘bullshit?’

A: Frikkin’, of course. Bullshizz, of course.

Q: What’s it like dating Sable Sylvan?

A: One star out of five. I want a refund, and I didn’t even pay for it.

Just kidding. It’s great. She makes a mean curry.

The only thing meaner than her curry is her sense of humor.

Q: What’s the best writing-related thing about living with Sable Sylvan?

A: Free editing for all of my Lord of the Rings slash fanfics.

Q: What’s the worst writing-related thing about living with Sable Sylvan?

A: She won’t read my Lord of the Rings slash fanfics.

Q: What do you do when Sable Sylvan is working?

A: Bother her. Why do you think you’re getting your books so late?

Q: What do you do when Sable Sylvan finishes a book?

A: Sable Sylvan finishes books?

Q: What is your favorite Sable Sylvan book, ever?

A: It’s Demon Claws.

Q: What is your favorite book in The Twelve Mates of Christmas?

A: Same answer.

Q: When it comes to romance novels, do you prefer one-on-one romances or ménages?

A: One-on-one. Fewer characters for me to keep track of. I find a lot of people (not Sable Sylvan but a lot of people) when they have too many characters to write, they throw around a ton of names but never bother to develop anyone.

Q: What’s a secret about Sable Sylvan you think readers deserve to know?

A: [He declined to answer this question]

Q: What character from The Twelve Mates of Christmas is the most like you?

A: I want to say Krampus, but deep down, I know it’s actually Jezebel.

Q: What character from The Twelve Mates of Christmas is most like Sable Sylvan?

A: I want to say Jezebel, but deep down, I know it’s actually Krampus.

Just kidding. It’s Avery, but exclusively Avery from Blitzen Claws. She’s always trying to set people up but betting on the wrong horses.

Q: Re: the bad matchmaking, do you mean real life or in her books?

A: In real life. Like among our friends.

Q: What was your favorite couple from The Twelve Mates of Christmas?

A: Candy and Cain from ‘Vixen Claws.’

Q: What couple was the most infuriating to read about in The Twelve Mates of Christmas?

A: It’s the guy in the bunny suit and his wife. I feel really bad for her. Fuck that kangaroo in particular.

Q: What’s your favorite Christmas beverage?

A: Eggnog, splash of rum, little bit of nutmeg.

Q: What’s your favorite Christmas food?

A: Any kind of German Christmas cookie.

Q: What’s your favorite Christmas candy?

A: Are there Christmas candies besides candy canes?

Q: What’s your favorite Christmas cookie?

A: German.

Q: Do you believe in true love?

A: Yes.

Q: Do you believe in fated mates?

A: No.

Q: Tell us the truth — are shifters real?

A: I can neither confirm nor deny.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas?

A: Not really.

Q: Are you on The Nice List or are you on The Naughty List?

A: Naughty.

Q: Does Sable Sylvan deserve to get off of The Naughty List?

A: We’ll see when all the books get released.

Q: If you ever wrote a romance novel, what would it be about?

A: Come up with your own book ideas.

Q: What sort of romance do you think Sable Sylvan should write?

A: Goblin Meerkat. [Author’s note: this is a reference to the poem Goblin Market, which was referenced in The Feminine Mesquite]

Q: If Sable Sylvan lost a bet with you, what genre of romance would you make her write, and what kinds of characters (e.g., shifters, bikers, doctors, demons) would the book have in it?

A: I’d make her write a fantasy economics romance about a group of goblin entrepreneurs who can transform into meerkats.

Q: What do you think is the greatest love story of all time?

A: The greatest love story of all time? Uhh…I don’t frikkin’ know.

Q: If you were going to be sent to a desert island, what book, movie, and video game would you bring with you?

A: The book would be Lord of the Rings, the movie would be Lord of the Rings, and because there isn’t a good video game, I don’t want one.

Q: If you were going to be sent to a dessert island, what three ice cream toppings would you bring?

A: Ooh, uh, hot fudge, Reese’s Peece’s [exact pronunciation], uhh…marshmallow fluff?

Q: What’s your favorite genre of book?

A: Fantasy.

Q: What’s your favorite natural environment?

A: The sea.

Q: If you could spend Christmas in any country other than the United States of America, where would you spend it?

A: I would prefer to avoid traveling around Christmas.

Q: You know the ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ song? If you got to get one gift from that song, what would you want it to be? Which of those gifts would suck to get?

A: The best gift? Five golden rings: small, valuable, easily transported. The worst gift, uh, I don’t know, probably the lords a-leaping or maids a-milking because, okay, now you just got a bunch of people you have to feed and store and get arrested for keeping because you cannot just keep people that’s illegal.

Q: If you drew Sable Sylvan for Secret Santana, what would you get her?

A: I have her for Secret Santana every year, she’s my girlfriend. You spoil her Christmas, I spoil your book.