Eamonn brushed the drop of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. He looked at his handiwork. He’d been up since the crack of dawn chopping down pine trees, covering them with ‘snow’ made of white flocking velvet powder and silvery iridescent glitter and packaging them up in big bags, sealed with ribbons. Krampus had said that they didn’t grow Christmas trees — they made them. At first, Eamonn thought it was just semantics until he saw all the work that went into preparing the Christmas trees. After all, glitter didn’t grow on trees.

Neither did demoncraft spells, like Krampus’ enchantment that made the trees stay a little greener a little longer.

Eamonn sealed up the last big bag and tied a big red velvet ribbon around it.

“That’s twenty-four,” said Krampus, who was sitting in an armchair, sipping at a cup of tea, while reading a work by Marquis de Sade. “Now, we just load them onto the barge.”

“You have a barge?” asked Eamonn.

Of course, he does, numbnuts, said Blitzen.

Eamonn rolled his eyes.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?” asked Krampus. “Come on. Start carrying the trees to the dock. I’ll grab the barge. I need to get these across the lake by six. That’s when the mayor is picking these up.”

“The mayor?” asked Eamonn.

“Who do you think sells the town all its Christmas trees?” asked Krampus. “I can work for Santana Claus and make a buck on the side, Eamonn.”

Eamonn lugged the trees to the dock. As he walked back and forth between the Christmas tree packaging arae and the dock, he thought about her, about Hope.

Eamonn had met many women like Melissa — fans that wanted him. He’d never met a woman like Hope that just treated him like a person. While Eamonn had seen Melissa every day since the first of December, as Krampus went over to Bear Claw Bakery every day to pick up his pastries and coffee, he couldn’t say the same about Hope. Every day, it was a crapshoot about whether or not he’d see Hope, get to ask her about her project.

Jocks and nerds don’t mix, grumbled Blitzen, as Eamonn picked up another tree.

What would you know about it? asked Eamonn. Things are a lot more complicated. They’re not just good and bad.

No, they’re not — they’re Naughty and Nice, chided Blitzen. You need to focus on getting off of The Naughty List and getting on The Nice List before you think about claiming a mate.

I never said anything about claiming her, said Eamonn, putting the tree down at the dock. I just want to see her.

That true? asked Blitzen. If so…your dumbass might really be in love with her.

Krampus had brought a large flat-bottomed boat around to the dock, a vessel that, thankfully, had an engine. Eamonn loaded up the barge with the trees and took a seat in the boat next to Krampus.

“You couldn’t let us take this every day?” asked Eamonn.

Krampus reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny red speedboat that looked like a toy. “I’ve got all kinds of boats, but only one way to make sure that the bad boys sent to me by Clan Marron are in shape for The Ride.”

“Rowing and chopping,” said Eamonn, arms crossed.

“And flying,” said Krampus. “We start that soon.”

Krampus’ engine powered barge made short work of the trip between Camp Kringle and Bear Claw Bakery. Eamonn unloaded the Christmas trees into eight large pickup trucks. The various volunteers had donated their time and their vehicles to help the town set up their Christmas decorations.

Eamonn walked toward the bakery.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asked Krampus.

“Getting some food…?” asked Eamonn cautiously.

“No, you’re not,” said Krampus. “I need to get you back to Camp Kringle for more training. After all, Christmas is swiftly approaching.”

Eamonn followed after Krampus.

Pussy, teased Blitzen. Thought you were supposed to be some kinda bad boy.

Krampus was about to start the barge again when somebody came out of Bear Claw Bakery and started shouting.

“Krampus?” asked a loud voice. “Is that you? You came across the lake and didn’t think to say hello to me?”

“Damn it, woman, you’ll see me tomorrow,” grumbled Krampus, getting out of the boat.

“Well, I’m seeing you now, so, you need to come and help me with some stuff,” ordered Avery. “Come on. I know all you do over on that island is mess around!”

“You’re just mad I didn’t bring you another Christmas tree,” said Krampus, arms crossed.

“Well…you didn’t,” huffed Avery.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” said Krampus. He went to the back of the barge and opened a secret compartment. He pulled out a large black bag sealed with a red ribbon. He carried it up to Avery himself. Eamonn followed after Krampus.

“Wait…you got me another tree?” asked Avery.

“You told me you wanted a nice one for your house, so, yeah,” said Krampus. “Am I free to go?”

“No,” said Avery. “You’re still on my Naughty list…and…I kinda need some tall guys to help me with something.”

“You know, the last time a short person asked me for some tall guy help, I ended up starting the Napoleonic Wars,” said Krampus.

“Well, I don’t think that hanging up ornaments is going to start a frikkin’ war,” said Avery, arms crossed. “Come on.”

Avery led Krampus and Eamonn into the bakery, where big boxes of ornaments were open on the cafe area’s floor…being sorted through by none other than Melissa.

Eamonn dreaded talking to Melissa. He knew he had to be polite to her, but, she just wasn’t the woman he was interested in, and it was clear she had a very different read of the situation.

“Oh my gosh, is that Eamonn?” squealed Melissa. “When we didn’t see you this morning, I thought that I wouldn’t see you at all!”

“Hey, Melissa,” said Eamonn. “You two need some help hanging stuff up?”

“Yeah,” said Melissa. “Can you help me hang up this kissing ball?” Melissa held out a ball of holly and mistletoe. Eamonn knew better than to fall for that trick

“Toss it to me,” said Eamonn.

“Fine,” said Melissa. “Go long!”

Eamonn reached up and backward to catch the ball of mistletoe.

“You’ve got an arm,” admitted Eamonn.

“I’ve got two of them — and curves too,” said Melissa with a wink.

Curvy. Sporty. Sassy. Cute. What’s the issue here? asked Blitzen.

She’s not Hope, said Eamonn plainly.

“Uh-huh, so, where do you want it?” asked Eamonn.

“Anywhere, anytime,” said Melissa with another wink.

“I mean the ball,” said Eamonn, holding up the ball.

“I was talking about your ball too,” said Melissa.

“Okay, well, then it’s going here,” said Eamonn, hanging the ball up on a random hook near the bakery’s glass display counter.

“You’re no fun at all!” said Melissa, pouting.

“Yup,” agreed Eamonn, shutting Melissa down.

You’re an idiot, you know that? asked Blitzen. You’re here because you didn’t find a mate before. Now, there’s a woman that wants you, and you’re just ignoring her? You’re on a deadline, kid. You know what happens if you don’t find a mate. You’ll —

I know, interrupted Eamonn.

Eamonn’s inner conversation with Blitzen was broken with a blast of chilly air and the jingling of bells.

“Hope?” asked Avery, who was wiping off the display case. “What are you doing here?”

“I need a hot drink and a surface to work,” said Hope.

“We’re closed,” said Avery. “We’re decorating today.”

“We can give her a cup of coffee and some leftover pastries,” said Melissa. “Can’t we?”

“You know, you’re right,” said Avery. “Sorry for being so snippy, Hope. Pick any table.” Avery got up to go and lock the front door. The sign had been flipped to read ‘Closed,’ but she’d forgotten to lock the door.

“No problem,” said Hope, picking a table and laying out her work. Melissa went to go and make Hope her usual order and a plate of cookies.

“Thanks,” said Hope, as Melissa served her the cookies and coffee. “You remembered my order!”

“How could I forget?” asked Melissa, waving her hand. “You have fun. Now. Eamonn. I need help with the garlands!”

Hope watched as Melissa interacted with Eamonn. She knew it was unreasonable, but Hope was jealous of Melissa. As Melissa and Eamonn hung big glittery pine garlands around the bakery, Hope wished that she was part of the fun. She was on the outside of the little group, of Melissa and Eamonn and Avery and Krampus.

Hope opened her notebook and started taking notes on the Regency Christmas lunch that had been served at a local restaurant, taking specific issue with the use of fresh fruits and vegetables, rather than preserves. Apples could’ve been stored in a root cellar, but there was no way that fresh strawberries and vanilla ice cream would’ve been served as part of a winter lunch. Strawberry preserves, made of French fruits or local English wild strawberries, might’ve been served over ice cream, but the meal would be far from typical, due to the expense of buying the vanilla. The very use of vanilla was slightly anachronistic, as rose water or orange blossom water would’ve been a more popular flavoring — although perhaps not in the wintertime. Having a luxurious item like fresh strawberry ice cream next to a hearty stew more typical of a peasant’s kitchen, made with potatoes and carrots, made no sense.

The tablecloths would certainly not have been made of pink polyester with ruffles — more Rococo if anything!

“Sup,” said a voice.

Hope looked up. It wasn’t Eamonn. It was Krampus.

“Have any time to check that book out?” asked Krampus. “Or…think about the other things we discussed?”

“Yeah, and…I’m here for work,” said Hope. “I shouldn’t mix work with dating, especially as a professor.”

“Oh, come on,” said Krampus. “You and I both know that’s a load of candy canes. You’re not his professor. Does he look like a college student?”

Hope turned and watched as Eamonn leaned down to lift up a box. His butt was perfect. It looked like it had been carved out of marble by Botticelli himself. He had thick thighs that she could imagine moving her own thick legs apart. His muscles rippled as he stood to carry the heavy box…with a single arm, not breaking a sweat.

“Fuck,” said Hope absentmindedly.

“Exactly,” said Krampus. “That’s what you two should do — fuck.”

“D-did I say that out loud?” asked Hope, blushing. “Fuck. Aww, fuck. I repeated it — twice!”

Eamonn put the box down on a table and came over to Hope and Krampus.

“This guy bothering you?” joked Eamonn. Krampus punched Eamonn in the arm, hard, and went to talk to Avery.

“Nah,” said Hope. “I’m just working on my project.”

“The, uh, ideas about what’s wrong with this history stuff, and everyone playing dress-up, right?” asked Eamonn, taking a seat across from Hope.

“Yeah,” said Hope. “I’m surprised you remember. It’s historical anachronism and revisionism in Regency Christmas celebrations.”

“See, that sounds a lot smarter than what I said,” said Eamonn.

“Yours is something that my students would immediately get,” said Hope. “Sorry, can you say that again?”

“Ideas about what’s wrong with this history stuff, and everyone playing dress-up?” asked Eamonn.

“Ideas…about…history…dress-up…got it,” said Hope. “You mind if I use this on the syllabus as a subtitle for the unit? I like to integrate humor into my lessons.”

“Go for it,” said Eamonn.

“What’re you two talking about?” asked Melissa, coming over to Hope with a fresh cup of coffee.

“Eamonn just gave me a good idea for my spring syllabus,” explained Hope. “It’s a subtitle for a unit about, well, what I’m doing here.”

“You should credit him!” said Melissa. “I can see it now — ‘Eamonn Costello, pro football player, cited in professor’s paper!’”

“Is there some pro football player named Eamonn Costello?” asked Hope. “That’s funny. I bet you get mistaken for him all the time.”

Eamonn looked at Melissa and glared.

“I…guess that wasn’t exactly open information,” said Melissa, clapping her hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry, Eamonn, I just thought that because you’re so famous, she’d know about you.”

“Wait…you’re…actually some celebrity football player?” Hope asked meekly. “I…am so sorry I didn’t recognize you.”

“Do you know how many ‘pro’ football players there are in America?” asked Eamonn. “Nobody can recognize all of them.”

“You don’t have to be humble,” said Hope. “That’s a big deal!”

“I’m not being humble,” said Eamonn. “I may not be literature smart, but, I majored in mathematics and statistics in college, back when I played college ball. When you add up all the professional players, all the college players, and all the high school players that people are following…you end up with quite a big cast of characters. Can you name every character in Pride and Prejudice? That’s a Regency book, right?”

“One — yes, it is, so you’re not that bad at literature,” said Hope. “Two — I’d probably miss a few characters, but, like, minor characters. Not knowing about you would be like…”

“Not knowing who Darcy is?” offered Melissa.

“You read Pride and Prejudice?” asked Hope.

“It’s not some special book! Anyone can buy a copy! There’s only, like, a million movies based on it!” said Melissa in a huff. “Isn’t it romantic? Back when men took care of women, and we could wear big fluffy hoopskirt dresses, and drink tea all day?”

“What’s stopping you from wearing a big fluffy dress right now, and grabbing yourself a cup of tea?” asked Eamonn, cocking a brow.

“Avery! Krampus!” squeaked Hope.

“Avery and Krampus are stopping her?” asked Eamonn, confused.

“No — Avery and Krampus need to stop!” said Hope. “Avery! Krampus! Look out!”

“What?” asked Avery and Krampus at the same time.

“You two are about to be underneath the mistletoe!” said Hope. “I know you two aren’t dating, so that might be…awkward.”

Avery and Krampus looked up. If they’d taken one more step along the counter, they would’ve been right underneath the mistletoe. They looked at each other, then to Hope, then, back at Each other.

Avery watched Krampus, wondering if this was the part where he moved them both underneath the mistletoe and said he knew why Avery always made him do bullshit tasks.

But instead, Krampus took a step back, away from the counter.

“Yeah, this is the part where we leave,” said Krampus, blushing bright red. “Alright. Eamonn, come on. We’re heading out.”

“But I —” started Eamonn.

Krampus grabbed Eamonn’s arm and headed toward the door.

“Fine, fine,” said Eamonn, shrugging off Krampus’ grip. He turned to follow Krampus and looked backward, at Hope, and mouthed the word ‘sorry.’

As Eamonn left, Hope noticed something odd.

Right where Krampus had been standing, there was a bunch of straw, strewn all over the floor.

“Avery?” called Hope. “There’s, uh…this.”

“What is it, dear?” asked Avery, wiping her hands off, as she’d been handling cleaned. “Oh. Huh.”

“There’s just straw, like, everywhere,” said Hope. “What the heck was this even from? It’s like a haybale shit the bed.”

“It’s probably nothing,” said Avery, quickly going to grab a broom and dustpan to clean up the mess.