The first thing Stella heard was the coughing and then, the grumbling.

Out of nowhere, Kevin stood up, straight up, and hit his head on the mantle of the fireplace.

“Kevin?” asked Stella cautiously. “What’re you doing here?”

“Him,” said Kevin, standing back up, walking toward Nivek, putting his body between Nivek’s and Stella’s. “It’s him. Did he do something?”

“Yes,” admitted Stella. “He…he was going to kidnap me.”

“That’s it,” said Kevin.

Kevin shifted, and so did Nivek. Kevin’s thick antlers appeared out of thin air, while Nivek’s big, brown body burst out of his body, shredding Nivek’s clothes, spreading them around the room.

Kevin stayed in between Nivek and Stella. Nivek rushed toward Kevin, but Nivek got pushed out of the way — not by Kevin, not by Stella, but by a big, white, fluffy thing.

At first, Stella thought it was a monster snowball come alive. After all, stranger things had happened during her time at The Wreath.

But then, she realized that there was something that was big, white, with snarling mouths, snapping teeth, and big, black paws.

The thing in the room was a polar bear. At first, Stella was scared — after all, polar bears could be a deadly creature if one faced them alone, in the wild, and as a BBW with meat on her bones, Stella was sure she would make a tasty meal for the polar. But then, she realized the polar bear was only interested in fighting Nivek, which meant that whoever this mysterious polar bear was, they were on Kevin’s side, and thus, they were also helping to protect her.

The polar bear and the reindeer herded the grizzly into a corner of the room, but the grizzly lumbered over the bed to try to get to Stella. Stella moved away, keeping herself as far from the grizzly as possible at all times.

“Stella?” called a muffled female voice from the door. Stella recognized the voice — it was Avery, calling for her! Stella heard hard knocks at the door. When Nivek was distracted, busy trying to fight the polar bear while keeping the reindeer out of the gray, Stella rushed over to the locked door and unlocked it and pulled it open.

In came Avery — following hot on the heels of a frikkin’ goat!

The goat bleated and reared up on its two back legs, shaking straw off of its body. Then, it got down on both all fours, lowered its head, and ran — aiming straight for Nivek.

But, while the goat’s head was down, Nivek took the opportunity to move away from the polar bear, so that the polar bear, moving forward toward the grizzly, was now in the goat’s path! The goat rammed the polar bear right in the side. The polar bear let out a shocked roar.

Nivek was still focused on getting to Stella. Kevin could tell, based on the look in his eyes, that Nivek’s plans hadn’t changed.

Remember to keep calm, Donner reminded Kevin.

It’s so hard, said Kevin.

Being clearheaded and good are what separate you from Nivek, said Donner. Be the better shifter.

Kevin thought back to his time as a park ranger. He’d spent years isolating himself, but in his solitude, he’d become strong. He was physically strong, emotionally stable, and now that he was no longer in danger of falling into mate madness, he was clear-headed. In the wild, animals that were feral could never take on shifters. They knew to stay away. Nivek had obviously fallen further into the depths of mate madness than Nivek knew. That made him wild and gave Kevin an edge.

Nivek rushed at Kevin.

Kevin resisted his urge to take on the other shifter. He resisted the urge to swipe at Nivek’s soft nose with his sharp claws. He resisted the urge to snap at Nivek’s neck.

Kevin moved out of the way — just as Nivek had moved out of the way of the polar bear.

Kevin stuck out a leg, tripping Nivek.

When Nivek stumbled, Kevin took the opportunity to flip Nivek over with his antlers. He held one hoof over Nivek’s heart and moved it to his throat.

Don’t, warned Donner. It would make you just as bad as him.

I know, said Kevin. I just want him to know that the reason he’s living is because of my mercy.

While Kevin had his melodramatic interior dialogue with Donner, the goat made its way over to Nivek. The goat turned, so its butt was right over Nivek’s face.

And then, the goat farted.

The room was filled with the scent of sulfur. All four of the shifters changed back into their human forms — including Nivek, who was stark naked on the ground. Stella saw Nivek, Kevin, and Krampus — the goat — turn back into their human forms, along with the polar bear, who Stella hadn’t met before. The polar was a man in a red velvet suit with a white fur-lined hood. Stella gasped as she realized who it had to be — Santa Claus!

Krampus waved a hand, and Nivek’s clothes magically reassembled around his body.

“What happened?” Krampus asked Stella.

“It was a misunderstanding,” said Nivek.

“I didn’t ask you,” said Krampus. “Stella — what’s going on?”

“He tried to kidnap me because I wouldn’t marry him,” said Stella. “It was about money — of course it was.”

“I’m so sorry,” said Krampus. “This is all my fault. I let him out of my sight for a minute and looked all over for him. We should’ve burst in here sooner. The damn locks are magical — installed them myself — to ensure privacy, but, of course, they shut me out too. What do you have to say for yourself, Nivek?”

“It was mate madness!” cried Nivek.

“I have mate madness, the early stages, and I never tried to kidnap anyone,” said Kevin, arms crossed. “Santana Claus and I had to take you down. At no point did you surrender.”

“Are you forgetting that I helped take down this bastard?” asked Krampus.

“I don’t think anyone could forget that smell,” said Avery, still pinching her nose and waving her hand. “I don’t think I’ll ever get the smell out of this room!”

“Santana — because this is obviously not a Christmas issue, mind if I handle this one?” asked Krampus.

“Be my guest,” said Santana. “That’s what I keep you around for anyway.”

“Krampus! You have to be on my side!” shouted Nivek.

“Kid, I’m a demon — I don’t have to do anything, sort of what got my kind into our spot,” said Krampus, arms crossed.

“But you pushed me toward Stella!” argued Nivek.

“Never told you to kidnap her, though,” said Krampus. “Camp Kringle’s for reforming bad boys, but as noted by your mark, you aren’t just bad — you’re downright evil.”

Krampus reached into both of his jeans pockets, which went deeper than the laws of physics allowed. His left hand reached for his sack — not the one he was used to scratching, but the one he hadn’t had to use for decades. His other hand reached in and found his familiar weapons.

Krampus pulled a large burlap sack out of his pocket. He held it in his left hand. In his other hand, he carried a bouquet of birch switches. Krampus swished them in the air. The scent of freshly cut wood filled the air as the flexible twigs whistled through the air.

“What do you plan on doing with that, old man?” asked Nivek with a smirk.

“Nothing big — just dragging you to Hell,” roared Krampus.

Kevin and Stella exchanged a look. They’d never seen Krampus like this, although it didn’t seem to surprise Santana or Avery. Nivek stopped laughing and went pale as Krampus came at him with the birch branches. With every pummeling, Krampus seemed to be leaking straw. Stella wasn’t sure if she was seeing things. Maybe the straw had been used to stuff something in the room that had broken during the right. That had to be it.

Nivek tried to run from Krampus, but Krampus tossed his sack to the ground. His other hand tore his necklace off of his neck — not over his head, but off of his neck, as the necklace passed through Krampus’ throat as Krampus defied the laws of both biology and physics. Krampus tossed the necklace over Nivek. The chain of the necklace clasped around Nivek’s wrists and ankles. The chain pulled Nivek into a spread-eagle position. The chains floated in midair, still, as Nivek struggled against his bonds.

“Miss Stella, I do apologize for being so sorely mistaken this holiday season,” said Krampus. “I was a poor judge of character. It’s obvious you and Kevin belong together. Fate was talking, and well, I should’ve listened. Do you want to…?” Krampus offered Stella the switches.

“I can’t stoop to his level,” said Stella, holding her hands up.

“Then it’s a good thing this demon will,” said Krampus, nodding at Stella. “You might want to move out of the way.”

Krampus walked back to Nivek. People cleared the area behind Krampus. Krampus drew back his arm and pulled it forward. There was a whistle, a smack, a tear, and a cry. Nivek’s shirt was torn. It hung off his body in shreds. It hid the sight of the wounds, but it did not conceal their gushing redness.

Krampus switched Nivek a few more times as Nivek cried out for mercy. Every time Nivek struggled against the chains, they glowed bright red, burning his skin, but his skin magically healed itself. Each time he was burned, it was like he was being cooked for the first time again. Every time the birch switch was pulled back, his body’s flesh knitted itself back together, as if he were Prometheus, but rather than an eagle, he was being attacked by a horny old goat that wasn’t satisfied with pecking out his liver.

Meanwhile, Stella nestled her head into Kevin’s body.

“Are you alright?” asked Kevin. “Is this upsetting you?”

“No — I just don’t want to waste another second looking at him,” said Stella, looking up at Kevin. “I don’t even want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he’s made me into someone like him.”

“You’re a better person than me,” said Kevin. “I’m enjoying every minute of this.”

Finally, Krampus stopped, after hitting Nivek twelve times.

“Is it over?” asked Nivek.

“Did I drag you to Hell?” asked Krampus.

“No,” whimpered Nivek.

“Then it’s only just beginning,” said Krampus.

Krampus stuffed the birch twigs back into his impossibly deep pockets. He held out both his hands. His left hand controlled the burlap sack, while the other hand controlled the chains. He twisted Nivek up into a pretty package, tied with a bow — a bow made of a fiery chain — and threw Nivek into the burlap bag. Nivek was inside the bag, moving around, and then, suddenly, the bag stopped moving. Krampus dumped the bag out to make sure it was empty and picked up his chain. He put it back around his neck and pocketed his magical burlap sack once again, stuffing the magic pocket of fabric into one of his other magic pockets of fabric.

“D-did you just kill him?” asked Stella.

“No — I sent him to a rehab program for people like him,” said Krampus. “I’m sure my cousins have much to teach him — and they don’t like men who disrespect women. Not one bit. Time…works differently there. They’ll take as long as they need to ‘fix’ him and send him back to whatever point in this timeline seems appropriate — maybe within minutes, perhaps within days, maybe, in a century.”

“Damn,” said Kevin. “That’s metaphysical as heck.”

“No, my boy — that’s metaphysical as Hell,” corrected Krampus.

“That’s what I keep him around for,” grumbled Santana. “Too bad he doesn’t pull out his sack more often. It’s just like my sack – but instead of leading back to The North Pole, it goes straight into Hell’s Garbage Pit, a hot-ass lava pit filled with fiery lava-gators. Trust me. You don’t want to go there – and you don’t want to find out how I accidentally ended up there one year.”

“You keep me around because nobody else will stand to be around you,” retorted Krampus. “If you want me to pull my sack out, all you have to do is ask.” Krampus unzipped his pants, revealing Christmas themed boxers.

“Eww,” said Avery. “There are ladies present.”

“There’s also presents needing opening under the tree,” said Krampus. “Let’s give these two some privacy.”

“I have to get back to The North Pole,” said Santana. “Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.”

Avery, Krampus, and Santana left Kevin and Stella alone, giving them some privacy. The guest room was starting to feel a little full anyway.

“Speaking of presents…” started Kevin.

Kevin pulled the ring box out of his pocket. He’d carried it around all night, knowing he had to give things one last shot, and although Krampus’ weird flashing wasn’t exactly the perfect lead into the perfect proposal, it was what he had.

Kevin got down on one knee and looked up at Stella

“Stella…I ask you again, will you marry me?” asked Kevin.

“I…I…I don’t know,” admitted Stella. “I can’t, Kevin.”

“Because of your family?” asked Kevin.

“No, it’s not them,” answered Stella, looking away from Kevin as her eyes watered. “If I learned one thing here at The Wreath, it was about how sometimes, I need to just do things for myself, instead of trying to please everyone else. It’s not about them at all.”

“Then why can’t you accept my proposal?” asked Kevin. “Am I not enough for you, Stella? Because I’m just a lowly forest ranger? Because you’re the heiress to a billion-dollar diaper fortune?”

“What?” asked Stella. “Kevin…you’re more than enough for me. It’s not about that.”

“Then what is it?” asked Kevin. “I’m not your type? Because baby, you and I both know that’s not true.”

“I…I…I can’t let myself get my heart broken again,” said Stella.

“What do you mean?” asked Kevin.

“You kept leaving town, coming back, and I don’t know,” said Stella. “You tried to explain — you told me about how you kept getting off The Naughty List, so you had to leave town, but then, you kept getting right back on that list. I can’t have a future with somebody so…bad. Unstable. Volatile. You’re intoxicating, Kevin, a bad choice I want to make, like chugging cheap raspberry tequila during my spring break junior year.”

“Stella — is that really it?” asked Kevin. “You’re upset because…because I kept getting back on The Naughty List?”

“Yes,” said Stella.

“Stella…answer me this,” said Kevin. “If I got ‘back on’ The Naughty List, what does that mean?”

“That you did something bad,” said Stella.

“What else does it mean?” asked Kevin. “Stella, it means that I wasn’t on the list before I did things to get on it. I kept swapping lists, Stella — I got off The Naughty List and on to The Nice List, so I ended up having to do bad things to get back on The Naughty List.”

“What?” asked Stella. “Kevin, I don’t understand.”

“The moment I met you, I knew what this was — love, true love, a Fated connection,” said Kevin. “I knew you were the woman I would spend the rest of my life with, from the moment you said your first sentence to me, from the moment you wiped your whipped cream off my beard. You’re fearless, sassy, and care about others in a way that inspired me to help others. I got off of The Naughty List the day I met you — not a day later, not a day sooner.”

“But then why did you get back on The Naughty List?” asked Stella.

“Krampus thought there’d been a mistake — that the wrong bad boy from Clan Marron had been sent out here,” explained Kevin. “That’s why he got Nivek. I kept getting back on The Naughty List so I could keep getting brought out here so I could keep protecting you from Nivek, but, I always managed to do some nice stuff and end up falling off of The Naughty List. I had to do bad things to get back here, to be with you.”

“How bad?” asked Stella, quirking an eyebrow. “Did you kidnap anyone?”

“I stole baked goods from window sills, melted an ice rink into a sauna,” admitted Kevin. “They were the only bad things I could think of that wasn’t too bad. Got the idea from friends of mine back home — friends who had served their time at Camp Kringle.”

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to call me?” asked Stella.

“I didn’t want to leave you alone with Nivek — the guy gave me a weird vibe,” admitted Kevin. “When he tried to kidnap you…I knew that it was Fated, that I was meant to protect you, and that’s why I had wanted to keep him away from you. Call it shifter senses. Call it Fate. Call it magic. I don’t care what you call it — I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” asked Stella.

“I thought you didn’t believe me when I told you about The Naughty and Nice Lists,” said Kevin.

“I didn’t,” admitted Stella. “Well, not until…”

“Until when?” asked Kevin.

“Until now,” said Stella. “I thought that Naughty meant the same thing as evil, like Nivek, but I was wrong. That’s what had me worried. But, all you did was some petty crime, so you could be sent back here and be with me, protect me? I…I can’t believe I was so wrong about you, Kevin. I can’t believe that I thought you were something evil, a monster.”

“But can you see me as your husband?” asked Kevin. Kevin took a knee and pulled out the ring box — the red velvet ring box given to him by Pandora.

“Oh my gosh,” said Stella, hands flying up to her face, but Kevin took Stella’s hand in his free hand, squeezing it, as he opened the box. Inside, there was a ring. The ring had a bright yellow diamond in the center, cut to look just like a star. Around the star, there were red and green gemstones, forming a wreath.

“Is that…” started Stella.

“That’s right,” said Kevin. “It’s a star, for my star, for my Stella. Will you take this ring and in doing so, promise to help light my path, through the darkness, through the twilight, for the rest of my life?”

“Only if you agree to do the same for me, and protect me on that path,” said Stella.

“That’s a Christmas promise,” said Kevin.

“Then yes, I do,” said Stella, eyes watering with joy as she watched Kevin slip the ring on her finger.

Kevin dropped the ring box on the floor as he got up quickly to press his lips against those of Stella, the woman he loved, the woman he’d protected, and the woman he’d love and protect for years to come.

Stella leaned into the kiss, getting on her tip-toes. She wrapped her arms around Kevin’s shoulders and felt his arms wrap around her thick waist, and for the first time in her life, Stella had a perfect Christmas.

Somebody knocked on the door. The kiss was broken. Kevin answered the door.

“Hey, we have to do a gift exchange of our own,” said Krampus.

“Coming,” said Kevin. “Stella?”

Stella smiled and took Kevin’s hand. They walked out to the living room. The party was still raging on, but spaces on the couch were cleared off for Avery, Krampus, Kevin, and Stella.

“Ooh, shiny,” said Avery, taking Stella’s hand and looking at her finger. “You did good, kid.”

“Thanks to Pandora,” said Kevin. “What other gifts did we need to exchange?”

“Well, you do want your bear back, don’t you?” asked Krampus. “After all, The Ride is over – and you got off The Naughty List to boot. Technically, none of that was required after I sent you back to Nuthusk and you claimed your mate…”

“But, because you chose to help out with The Ride, you got off of The Naughty List,” explained Avery. “By saving Christmas, doing The Ride even though the forces of Hell – literally one of Hell’s most annoying forces, Krampus – tried to keep you from completing your duty, you are now on The Nice List. Plus, you helped Stella believe in Christmas magic that first day you two met, and…well, in the end, you both learned the meaning of Christmas. During Christmas, true love can tame even the wildest beast.”

Stella pulled open Kevin’s shirt as she unbuttoned it and her hands flew to her face when she saw what was written on his chest.

“Kevin, you did it,” said Stella, putting her hand on the four-letter word in crimson on Kevin’s chest. “You got off of The Naughty List! You’re officially Nice!”

“I hadn’t even thought about any of that,” said Kevin. “I was so focused on taking care of Stella that I didn’t realize I got off the list.”

“The whole reason we make the shifters get off of The Naughty List before earning back their mate mark is to prove that they’ve changed their ways. If they’ve changed their ways, they earn back their mate marks because they’re finally ready for their mates,” explained Krampus. “Kevin…well, he changed the moment he met you. I think that has to be true love.” Krampus shot a look at Avery, who looked away, blushing.

“It means that the love between you two was so powerful that it changed the both of you – by causing you to believe in Christmas magic, and causing Kevin to become Nice, all in a single instant,” said Avery. “That love’s more than just true love. It’s fated love.”

“And Kevin…well, he was ready for that love from the moment he met you,” said Krampus, shaking his head. “I was just too blind and focused on the patterns of the past to realize that this was an extraordinary case.”

“So all this time…you were ready to be with me, Kevin,” said Stella. “I had no idea.”

“To be fair – I’m not exactly open about my motivations and the rules and shit,” said Krampus. “Now, I think Kevin has one last job to do – returning his equipment for the season. Alright, Kevin. It’s time to turn in your ‘badge and gun.’”

It’s time, said Donner. You did good, kid.

I did? asked Kevin.

Yeah, numbnuts — that’s why you got sent back to Nuthusk so many times, joked Donner. Good luck with everything, and hey — Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Donner, said Kevin.

Those were the last words Kevin ever said to Donner. Krampus pulled out the magic snow globe. Kevin put his hand on the snow globe, and whirls of red and green light swirled around his fingers. The sight was fascinating to Stella, but not to any of the other party guests, who were all magical beings. Kevin smelled the scent of freshly cut pine and heard the sound of wassailing, but wasn’t sure if it was from the magic or from Avery’s party. He felt a presence leave him and then, felt another enter, heralded by a deep and mighty roar. Kevin’s bear was back.

“Well, I’ll be,” said Krampus, looking at the snow globe and then looking to Kevin before continuing in a deadpan tone. “Guess the thing…fixed itself.”

“Guess it did,” said Kevin with a grin.

“Well, thanks for that,” said Krampus, pocketing the snow globe. “Here.”

Krampus pulled a sack out from underneath the tree. It was big, green, and velvet. He passed it to Kevin.

“What’s this?” asked Kevin.

“I don’t know, smart one — you could open it and find out,” said Krampus.

Kevin opened the bag. Inside, there was a big, green dildo.

“Uh…I don’t think we’re going to need this, but thanks,” said Kevin. “I think my equipment isn’t going to fail anytime soon.”

“Gross,” said Avery. “That’s a pickle — for your tree, not her bush.” Avery reached over and patted Stella on the arm…and did something else Stella didn’t notice.

“Oh, it’s an ornament!” said Stella. “Thanks, Krampus! It’s so goofy — I love it!”

“Really?” asked Krampus warily.

“My parents always had a super fancy tree decorated by professionals, with glass balls from Europe and stuff,” said Stella. “This is more my style.”

“I don’t know if that’s a backhanded compliment or not, but I’ll take it as a genuine compliment,” said Krampus. “Hang it on your tree every year, wherever you two decide to build your home.”

“Every year?” asked Stella.

“One day, if The North Pole needs you, we’ll use that to contact you,” said Krampus. “So, Kevin and Stella…if, in the future, The North Pole is in a pickle, can we count on you two to help?”

“Of course,” said Kevin, shaking Krampus’ hand as Krampus got up from his armchair.

“Now that that’s over, we can finally start your engagement party,” said Avery.

“Our what?” asked Stella, gesturing quickly. She hadn’t noticed that Avery had used an alligator clip to attach a ribbon to her sweater’s arm. When Stella moved, down came a banner, reading, ‘Happy Engagement!’ with goofy photos of her face and Kevin’s face cut out, on either side of the flag. Down came a deluge of rose gold and champagne gold glitter.

Krampus came back to the trio holding a silver platter, with champagne flutes, filled with lingonberries and champagne.

“To a very Merry Christmas!” said Avery.

“Merry Christmas,” said Krampus, holding up his own flute.

“To a Merry Christmas!” said Kevin, wrapping his arm around Stella.

“To a very Merry Christmas indeed,” said Stella, snuggling up into Kevin’s arm. “And…to true love.”

“And to a house that will always, always smell…of gingerbread,” said Kevin.