Chapter Seven: Sam
The reception went really well and right now everyone’s dancing. The DJ we hired for the second part of the evening was on time which was a godsend in the sea of incompetency that was earlier today. Everyone’s dancing – well almost everyone. I’m definitely not included. Sarah is with her bridesmaids, really enjoying herself. There’s been a genuine smile plastered on her face since the ceremony and it’s heartwarming seeing her so happy. Sadly, it has to be with that bastard Neil.
I see Neil step out into the hallway and decide it’s time to have a talk with him. Most of my complaining has been done in front of my family, but since Neil is technically related to me now – which is just gross on gross – I’ll turn some of my frustrations his way.
I find him texting in the hall and approach. He puts his phone away when he sees me and I bet he’s doing something slimy. Not because his face or movements betray his actions, but simply because Neil is a slimy human being and, statically, he’s probably doing something slimy.
“Hey, Wood.” His clipped tone mimics exactly how I’m feeling on the inside. That I very much don’t want to be talking to him, but our current situation dictates that we communicate. “Do you want something.” I cross my arms and begin.
“I wanted to tell you that I still don’t trust you and you better treat Sarah right or you’ll be answering to me.” Neil sneers at me, his hands deep in his pocket. I can tell he’s not taking me seriously. I bet he believes he has Sarah wrapped around his fingers and there’s nothing I can do to change that. But I know more than he thinks.
“Whatever, Wood. I’m married to her now, so you shouldn’t insert yourself into our lives. Worry about yourself.” God, I want to punch that smug look off his face. Problem is, he has a point. I can’t go around dictating the terms of other people’s marriages, but this is my sister and I refuse to let Neil fucking Smith ruin her life.
“Just be nice to her and I won’t have to get involved.” I can tell he wants to say more, but he just shakes his head and walks away. I rub my forehead with the bottom of my palm, the frustration getting to me. I know I’m going to have a headache tonight. I can preemptively take some Aleve before going to bed. I have so little control over the situation and I know I shouldn’t be so anal, but I can’t help it. I shouldn’t have to worry about the man my sister marries so much because she should choose someone upstanding. Maybe after their married for a year, I can calm down. But he needs to prove himself to me first.
I turn around to go back to the ballroom and run into my mother. I’m about to try and have a friendly conversation, but her face is displeased and I know I’ve done something wrong.
“Hi, mother…” Whenever she chastises me, I turn into a child again. I know she hasn’t said anything, but I know she’s about to get angry with me. She has a few tells – one of them being her eyes. They get kind of narrowed and mean looking.
“Sam, you had no right to insert yourself into your sister’s marriage like that. She married Neil and you’ll just have to accept it. You promised you would support her.” Oh, shit. She must have overheard my little talk with that fucking bastard. Fucking hell, I’m never going to catch a break with this guy. Every time I try, I end up fucking it up somehow.
“I was just trying to help. I’ve been telling you guys, I know Neil way better. I’ve dealt with him for years and there are things you don’t know –”
“Samuel Gregory Wood. Shut. Up.” She used my full name which means whatever she’s about to say next is not going to be nice. My Mom can be harsh when she needs to be and it’s never easy to hear. “You’re no saint. I know you like to pass yourself around. Sometimes you have more than woman on the go at a time. You’ve never settled down and maybe Neil used to be just like you,” that hurts a lot more than it should, “but he’s putting down roots and I don’t want you being a dick to him just because he’s changing his ways. Maybe you’re so mad at him because you know, deep down, that you should change as well.” I don’t want to yell at my Mom, but she’s pushing all my buttons. It’s not surprising because she knows the words that will get at my core. I take a deep breath and try to defend myself.
“I’m nothing like Neil because I make sure the women I’m with know the score before we… get together.” It’s a little weird talking about my sex life with my Mom, but I don’t want her thinking I’m some chauvinistic pig that lies to women – that’s what Neil does. I don’t work in shady manipulations because I make sure everything is clear from the get-go. I may not be a stand-up guy, but I’m not mean.
“You don’t get it, son. If you just gave it a minute’s thought, you’d see your no better than the average player. You’re no better than your idea of Neil.”
“What don’t I get mom?” It’s hard to hold back all my anger. And it’s even worse that it’s aimed at my Mom. I hate getting into fights with my family because I love them so much.
“You don’t give these women a choice. That’s how you manipulate them. You make the terms with zero regard to anyone else that way they’re set straight before they can even think of asking for anything more. Maybe on the surface it seems better, but when you actually get down to it, it’s just as bad.” I think she’s done, so I try to interject,
“I don’t –” but I’m wrong because there’s a lot more to her rant.
“Because if that girl wants more, you’re just going to tell her you were honest from the beginning and so all of her feelings aren’t your fault and she’ll have to sort herself out on her own. It’s cruel, Sam.” My face is contorting in anger, unable to fully contain my emotions anymore. I know I’m not going to yell at her, but I – I don’t know what I’m going to do.
“I’m not cruel, mother.” It seems my Mom has stopped listening to me and is getting a lot off her chest. It seems she’s been harboring a lot of feelings concerning my lifestyle and all this stuff with Neil has been a catalyst for her to unload.
“I love you, Sam. You’re my son and – I love you with all my heart, but you can’t keep having this idea in your head that you can control the women in your life. You can’t ‘protect’ them. You shouldn’t because it’s not your job. It’s insulting that you’d reduce us to such tropes.” My heart is starting to hurt and I’m not sure how to communicate this. I’m not used to getting so worked up over words and I need a breather, but Mom isn’t done yet. “You’re not God’s gift to women and I need you to understand that. I don’t want you to end up regretting the decisions you made in life.” She warmly pats my shoulder before heading back to the party. I’m fuming on the inside, I want to scream. I never knew my Mom had such strong feelings about me. What the fuck am I supposed to do with everything she just said. I know I’m not a bad person, but I can’t help but feel a little… responsible. I don’t know what to think. But what I need is a drink.
The bar is in the ballroom, so that’s the direction I go in. I order a double shot and look around while I wait. Everyone is full of this energy that I can’t muster anymore. At the beginning of the day, I was already running on fumes. From the beginning, this wedding was something I wasn’t a big fan of and my body has gotten to the point where it’s done pretending. I think I’m going to have to avoid Sarah and Neil and maybe even my mother for a little bit – just to get my head back on right.
My shot arrives and I down it. The liquor feels good, but I’m still not where I want to be. I see my Mom coming towards me and maybe she wants to apologize. I don’t think I’m ready to even here an apology from her yet. I look away for a second and see the baker from earlier. She might be a nice distraction. I leave my empty shot glass on the bar counter and head in the direction of hopefully a better night.