Chapter 11 - Declan
Today is the first time I’ve worked out in months. It’s also the first time I’ve woken myself up before 10am.
My entire body is sore. I did half of the workout I used to do five days a week before I met Miranda. 40 pushups instead of 100. I may still look the same on the outside, but I’ve definitely lost the strength I once had. My inner strength as well.
Meditation is something I took up when I was going through some hardships. It helped me concentrate on designs, and helped me after the whole ordeal with Miranda. After working out the most that I could and eating a protein bar, I sat in my bed silently. I felt my body move with each breath I took. I felt the air coming in through my nostrils and out through the small opening my lips made as I exhaled. My chest rose. My shoulders moved with me. Once I felt every inch of my body all at once while breathing, I felt as though I could get back to where I was in life. I could be successful again. I will be.
I already feel as though my brain is working as it used to. Meditating has been helping me think critically about items that could be sold as commodities. It feels good to be back to my old self. I’m taking baby steps but it’s a start.
It takes 21 days to form a habit, so for the next 21 days I’m going to be waking up at 7am, working out, meditating, eating breakfast, reading the newspaper, and trying to get back to work until I find a new business to partner up with. Getting back to my old routine might even shake some old ideas loose.
After meditating, I make myself a large breakfast. 4 eggs sunny side up over a bowl of brown rice, with some greek yogurt on the side and a protein shake with some banana mixed in for taste. As I make this meal, I feel a smile creeping up. I’m feeling nostalgic for a boring routine that most successful people go through each morning. Some may think that’s a bit silly, but it makes sense. I was happiest when I was working and enjoying the money I had rightfully earned. Though that’s not my only reason for smiling.
With my breakfast prepared, I dig in while perusing some local news. I haven’t even touched my phone to look through news apps in so long. Things definitely have changed. A lot of the apps I used to use look vastly different from what they used to look like, but resemble each other in their layout. Nothing new on the business side of things. Politics are a bit depressing to read about first thing in the morning. It’s not exactly what I used to do but a nice morning may call for some local fluff pieces.
Callie.
Callie is in the news. She was the caterer from some charity event. She told me she had a gig but she never mentioned anything about showing up in the news. This is amazing! She’ll definitely be getting more customers from this kind of publicity. It’s what she deserves. But… it was hosted by Miranda’s old man?
Pictured: Jacob Dennings, carving the extravagant cake baked by his own stepdaughter, Callie Owens, owner of Simple Treats in downtown.
Stepdaughter… Jacob Dennings. Dennings. Jacob Denning’s stepdaughter. Callie is Jacob Denning’s fucking daughter. Miranda’s stepsister.
I was seconds away from closing the app and calling her up to congratulate her but what the fuck. She had made such a big deal about honesty when the entire she had been hiding the fact that she was related to Miranda and her snot nosed brother. Of all the things to have kept a secret, why and how would it be this?! The more I think about it, the more infuriated I get.
She was mad at me for not telling her about Miranda, when she’s her own stepsister. Callie made me feel guilty for keeping something from her, that she must have already known. As a matter of fact…
Callie could be trying to fuck me over again.
She’s either working with Miranda or thinks that since I was dumb to fall for it once, I can be duped a second time. Sorry to disappoint, Callie, but I’m not being tricked by a heart sucking succubus again. Doesn’t she realize that I’ve already lost more than I ever could? How could two people be so evil as to try to destroy a man. Someone who has given them nothing but kindness and… love. Maybe I fall in love quickly, but that’s no reason to be emotionally abused or taken advantage of financially.
I’m speechless. Immobile.
No.
I’m going to do as planned. My life will get better without Callie. There are 6 billion people on Earth, it’s not as though she’s my last hope for love. I can find someone who loves me for who I am, instead of my wealth.
This rich man is officially single until someone who truly loves him comes along. Callie can go find some other millionaire to leech off of. As for Miranda… she can jump off a cliff for all I care. That whole family can rot. Nothing good has come from them.
I am going to finish this breakfast and do some more meditation. Nothing else matters right now. All that matters is coming up with a new design for something that I could sell to businesses around the world. There’s not much hope in waiting for someone from the gatherings I’ve been going to to get back to me. My name is stained. My only hope for being allowed back into the tech industry is to prove that my skills are still valuable.
Once I’m done with my food, I go ahead and wash the dishes. To distract myself, and because if I don’t do them now, they’re going to remain unwashed until dinner.
But my phone goes off. It’s Callie. Of course it’s Callie. As I said when I saw Miranda at the burger joint, “speak of the devil and she shall appear.”
I have a strong urge to pick up the phone and chew her out for the time she’s made me waste, but I conjure up some self control and instead let it go to voicemail. I make an attempt to head into my bedroom but I hear the phone ring again. I let it ring once more. But she doesn’t stop. I lock myself inside my room but the phone’s ringing continues for three more minutes before Callie gives up.
The realization that I’ve let myself be tricked by someone I was growing to love is starting to set in. The initial shock made me feel nothing but rage. The realization is the harder stage to go through in my opinion. It is fully on me to feel this way since we’ve been on dates few times I could count them with two hands, but it’s hard for me to even like someone enough that I’d even think about dating them.
Dating results in either breakup or marriage. And I don’t go into a relationship to break up. I go into a relationship with intentions to stay together and work through our problems. But how can I even do that when the person I’m trying to be with is lying to me about some very important things? I trusted her. I opened myself up to her. I told her about my dad. I didn’t even tell Miranda about my bad, though considering she and Callie might be working together, it’s possible that she knows now. I feel so foolish.
I’m not going to… but I feel like shutting down again. Just when I was ready to spread my wings and prepare myself for a new life of success, my wings are clipped by this discovery. Even Callie isn’t working with Miranda, I can’t bring myself to believe that her intentions are benign. If that were the case, she would have told me about being related to The Dennings.
Though, would I have even talked to her if I knew she was a Dennings.
Maybe not.
That doesn’t excuse her from lying regardless. I’m sick of being lied to. I’m sick of opening my heart to people who are just going to take advantage of me so much so that they tear my life to shreds. It took courage to get out of bed at 7 in the morning. It took real goddamn courage to bring myself to exercise muscles I feel I haven’t used outside of the bedroom in months. All for what? To discover that the relationship I’ve been trying to fix has been a lie from the moment it started.
I’m not going to engage with Callie. She can call all she wants. I’m focusing on what will actually change my life for the better.
I have to empty my mind. Clear my head of all Callie or Callie adjacent thoughts.
The old Declan would spend the day crying about her, and wishing I had never met her.
The new Declan is going to come up with something new. Something companies will want to implement in their devices… or work spaces. Baby steps. It all starts with an idea. Something small. It doesn’t need to change the world, it just need to get me back in the flow of things.
Necessity is the mother of invention. What do people need? What do people hate?
Something small. Slow WiFi is something people hate but that’s a much bigger task to tackle than I need right now. Small. Something like a phone. People hate… There’s a lot to hate about phones. Something small, would be… the mic? Recording sound is a pain. Hearing somebody speak to you from their phone. It always sounds staticky. A lot of that does have to do with cellphone towers,but… a better mic couldn’t hurt.
Time to get to work.
I open up a dresser replete with books I haven’t touched in ages and also pull out my personal laptop to look up whatever I can’t find in these pages. Reverse engineering a phone is something I did for fun in high school, but a refresher can’t hurt. I grab a bucket full of burner phones and spare parts and spread them out next to my laptop to read as I work.
A few hours and hundreds of dollars worth of phones later, I’m able to draw up a complete schematic of a prototype phone with a better microphone. The probability of it working is slim, but it’s only a first draft, after all. It would take a bit more tweaking to make an actual working model, and some miniature soundproof foam to border the mic, but this could be the blueprints to a future working model. A blueprint people would buy.
Just like that, I’m back.
I’m going to have to make some calls. A swell of fear comes over me as I reach for the door to the rest of my home. I’m going to have to step out into my kitchen to grab my phone and stare at a million missed call notifications from Callie. I could have spent an entire day working on my designs and building back my confidence and still have to face reality. Sooner or later, I’m going to have to talk to her. Even if it’s just to tell her to leave me alone.
The door opens slowly and the hallway towards the kitchen seems to extend as I look down it like some nightmarish funhouse. I’m able to bring myself to take some steps towards the phone resting on my dining table but just as I hold it up to my face, I hear a knock at the door. The knocking gets my attention for a second, but because of a sudden feeling I felt in my gut that it was exactly who I didn’t want to see. I press my phone’s home button and see the omen with my own eyes.
I have to see you! I’m on my way, you better be home.
“Declan, are you alright”, I hear her villainous voice scream from the outside.
Breaking up over text is much preferable to having to see the person. But this may not be all that terrible. I have so much pent up rage from Miranda’s betrayal that I can finally channel it and direct it to someone equally deserving.
I take a deep breath and walk briskly towards the door.
“Goodness, there you are. I’ve been worried sick, is something going on with your phone?”
She seems so innocent and genuinely worried. But I know it’s all an act. Before opening the door I was considering toying with her, trying to fool her into telling me what I already know. But I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve never been one for acting out on vengeful feelings.
“We’re… over, Callie. We’re done. Please don’t come back here. Don’t call me, don’t message me, just leave me alone”, I tell her slowly closing the door on her.
“Wait, but I have something to tell you”, she cries out.
Callie jams her foot on the door before I can close it completely.
“Ow. Can you please open the door? It’s big news!”
I open the door but only to finally let out my frustrations.
“Callie, I know you’re related to Miranda. She’s your stepsister.”
Her eyes widen and she tries to come up with a response but doesn’t speak anything outside of incomprehensible mumbling.
“Goodbye, Callie.”
Another attempt to close the door is thwarted when Callie holds the door open with both of her hands and walks into my home.
“Callie, you need to leave.”
“Hold on. I can explain everything”, she says.
“Oh, that’s gold. If you can explain everything, why haven’t you already? Was it so you could scam more money out of me? Your sister didn’t bleed me dry enough already?”
“Wait, wait, please. I hate Miranda just as much as I do.”
“I’m done listening to your lies. Get out.”
“Now, hold on, I came here to give you some big news, can you at least hear me out?”
“I just said I’m done with your lies. I don’t want to hear you say anything else. What is it? That you’re a big shot baker now? Yeah, I saw your face in the news, right next to you and Miranda’s dad.”
“Stepdad”, she corrects me.
“Like it matters! Come on, Callie. What was it? Did Miranda put you up to this or did you just overhear her talking about what a gullible fuck i am and thought it’d be fun to test the waters and see if you could get money from me the same way she did. It certainly worked. You got a whole new wardrobe, a new fancy dress. Goddamn. You and your sister are demons. I put my heart out for you two and you both walk all over me!”
“I found your old designs, Declan!”
“So what? YOU’re going to sell them now? Why should I even believe you? You’ve lied to me for weeks now about knowing Miranda!”
Her voice cracks while she tries to explain herself, making me think she might be speaking sincerely for a moment. “I swear I’m not trying to fuck you over like her. I didn’t know she dated you until very recently. I found out after we started seeing each other.”
“You didn’t know who your own sister was dating? Very likely. Please leave, I’m losing my patience.”
“It is very likely! Because that’s what happened. I’m not close to her, Jake, or Jacob! I don’t see them often at all. I hate Miranda just as much as you do!”
“That would have been really comforting to hear when I was complaining about her. Or really any time before right fucking now. So forgive me if I don’t really believe your hatred for your stepsister.”
“Don’t call her that. She’s just a bitch I’m tangentially related to. I don’t even call her my stepsister.”
“Clearly! You never mention her at all?”
“Would you have dated me if you knew I was related to her, Declan? Tell me that!”
I knew she’d ask. Quite frankly, I don’t have an answer for her. I fell for her hard while we were shooting the breeze in Taryn’s kitchen. I would have wanted her no matter what. I still want her. But if I allow her to stay in my life, I’ll only be setting myself up for disappointment.
“I would have been suspicious but… yes. I would have. Maybe that’s stupid for me to say and I truly don’t know because that’s not what happened. I’m sorry, Callie, but I just don’t believe you. All I hear from you are lies. That’s all this relationship has been. One big lie after another. Hell, I’ll take the blame for some of them but I ended up telling the truth”, I explain.
“I’m telling you the truth now, doesn’t that count for something?”
“You know what, it really doesn’t. You’re just telling the truth because I backed you into a wall. You had no choice but to tell the truth about knowing Miranda. And that’s all I need to know.”
She continues to try to explain herself out of the whole she dug herself in, but I’ve had just about of her and Miranda. I want them out of my lives permanently. I grab her from the shirt collar and pull her back out into the hallway. She wriggles out from my grasp and tries to push herself back in, but without thinking I place my palm right in the middle of her chest and push her back, shutting the door immediately after.
I can feel my blood pumping up to my ears. The adrenaline hasn’t worn off. Physically pushing her out of my property may have been rash but it had to be done, otherwise she’d have wasted more of my time with her filthy deceits.
My failure of a love life is no longer going to affect my work. Until I’m hired or commissioned by a company, I will not stop working on designs and blueprints. I’ve got enough numbers of people in the industry to fill up an actual phone book. I’m going to call them one by one and try to get a good standing with them. My name may be tainted but there has to be someone willing to give me a second chance. Someone who I may have declined work from, or a business smaller than those I normally worked with.
I’ll work nonstop until Callie and Miranda are just memories.
Mistakes I never should have made lost to the past.