“I don’t think he likes it.” I laugh, watching Landen’s face pucker seconds before the carrots, Gabe cut up and set in front him, roll out of his mouth and down the front of his shirt.
Gabe laughs. A full belly, toss your head back, laugh, and I swear it’s one of the most amazing sounds in the world. I’ve come to realize I love everything about this man, especially how good he is with Landen.
“I think you’re right.” He grabs a napkin, wiping the remnants of carrots off Landen’s chin.
“It must be the brown sugar. He loved baby food carrots,” I observe.
“What?” Gabe looks at me before dropping down to meet Landen’s gaze. “You mean to tell me you ate that gross mush and you don’t like these amazing carrots?” Gabe picks up a few chunks off Landen’s plate and shoves them in his mouth.
“Delicious,” he says around a mouthful of food.
I can’t contain my laughter when Landen squeals at him, clearly enjoying how animated Gabe is as he chews the carrots, a wide grin crossing his face the moment he swallows.
I’m so focused on the interaction between the two of them that I don’t notice Corey until he’s literally standing right next to our table speaking.
“Rae?” he questions, confusion clear in his voice.
“Corey!” I squeal, jumping up and immediately pulling him into a tight hug.
He’s only been gone about five weeks, but it feels like so much longer than that. And while I’ve spoken to him a handful of times over the phone, nothing compares to having him here, in the flesh.
“When did you get back in town?” I pull back, ignoring the tension I instantly feel between us.
I purposely avoided telling Corey anything about the Gabe situation while he’s been gone, and I can tell by the look on his face that he’s realizing just what I’ve been keeping from him.
“This morning.” His voice is short and clipped.
“Why didn’t you call?”
“I was hoping to surprise you.” His eyes move between Gabe and Landen, and I feel like I can see the gears shifting inside his head.
“Well that you did.” I ignore his reaction, keeping my voice light and upbeat.
“What are you guys doing?” He finally acknowledges the cause of his issue, his gaze honing in on me while his hand gestures to the table behind us.
“We’re having lunch.”
I feel Gabe standing behind me, but Corey’s gaze doesn’t leave mine.
“With him?” he grinds out, nostrils flaring.
“Corey.” I barely get his name out before he’s cutting me off.
“Guess I should have known you’d go running to him the second you had the chance.”
I gawk, a bit caught off guard by how angry he seems.
“Corey.” This time it’s Gabe who says his name, and it’s laced with warning.
Corey’s gaze flips to the man behind me and while neither of them speaks, I don’t miss the silent exchange that seems to be taking place between them. Corey flips his gaze back to me after what feels like an eternity, giving me a look that’s full of disappointment before spinning around and exiting the diner.
I feel Gabe’s hand close over my shoulder almost immediately, and then his soft words fill my ears. “Rae?”
Spinning, I look down at Landen who is completely oblivious to anything other than the food he’s currently smashing into the table.
“Can you give me a second?” I ask, finally looking up to see the concern that lines Gabe’s face.
“Of course.”
I’m out of the diner and running down the sidewalk within seconds. I know it’s probably an asshole move on my part, leaving during the middle of our meal to chase after another man, but Corey isn’t just another man, he’s my best friend. And clearly, he’s very upset with me.
“Cor!” I yell after him when he comes into view just a few yards in front of me. “Cor, stop!” I finally reach him, closing my hand around his forearm in an attempt to halt his movements.
He stops so abruptly that I stumble forward before finally finding my footing. When he slowly turns to face me, his eyes boring into mine, the tension between us is palpable.
“What the hell was that?” I get out breathlessly.
Shit, I feel like I just ran ten miles instead of only half a block. As a runner, I usually don’t get quite so winded. Then again, I haven’t been for a run in almost two weeks. I’ve been a little preoccupied, and clearly, my body is feeling the effects.
“What?” Corey bites, bringing me back to the matter at hand.
“That.” I point behind him, gesturing to what just happened at the diner. “Why did you just walk away?”
“You seemed busy,” his voice grinds out the word.
“So, that’s how it’s going to be then? If Gabe is in my life you’re just going to treat me like shit?”
“So he’s in your life now is he?” His nostrils flare and even though several people have already had to step around us, he makes no attempt to move.
“He’s more than just in my life, Cor.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” he spits, inching closer to my face.
“We’re together. Like together together.” I wince when I see the hurt that flashes through his eyes, not really sure why this would hurt him.
“Wow!” He throws his hands up in the air, practically screaming the word. “I can’t believe you would let that man anywhere near you, near your son. I thought you were smarter than that. Guess I was wrong.”
“Don’t,” I warn. “Don’t you dare insult me just because you don’t agree with the choices I’m making for my life. It is, after all, mine. And this is my decision, not yours.”
“So that’s how it is then?” He shakes his head, taking a small step back. “It’s your life so fuck your best friend who has been here through it all and is simply trying to save your ass another broken heart.”
“Is that all it is, Corey?” I question, having a hard time believing this is all about Gabe.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” The look on his face is the closest thing to hatred I’ve ever seen.
Is choosing to give Gabe a second chance really worth Corey’s hatred?
“Is Gabe enough to throw away over fourteen years of friendship?” I ask, my voice softening.
“You tell me?” he retorts.
“You’re the one doing this, Cor. Not me. Nothing between us has changed. Nothing. You’re still Corey, my best friend since third grade.”
“I can’t do this, Rae. I can’t be in your life if he is.”
“Are you kidding me right now? Are you seriously telling me that it’s you or him?”
“I won’t pick up the pieces again, Rae.”
“You won’t have to. This isn’t like last time. Things are so much different. You haven’t seen him with Landen. You haven’t seen how good he is to us. You haven’t been here.” I try to reason with him.
“I haven’t been here?” He seems confused. “Rae, I’ve been gone a month. Are you telling me that in that short amount of time that man is somehow no longer the same person who broke your heart into a million pieces and then left you to raise a child on your own?”
“Yes,” I state matter of fact. “He knows he’s not perfect. He admits his flaws. He’s owned up to his mistakes, and he’s making up for them in more ways than you know.”
“Do you hear yourself? You’re like a brainwashed groupie. Rae, that man used you and then discarded you. People don’t change overnight.”
“Yes, they do,” I disagree. “Having Landen, holding him in my arms that first day, it changed me at my core. Having a child changes you in ways you can’t understand. He knows Landen is his, and in the short time since he’s found out, he’s been nothing short of incredible.”
“Because it isn’t real, Rae. This is just playtime to him. What happens when he goes back to California and leaves you both all over again?”
“He won’t.”
“How do you know, Rae? How?” he grinds out.
“Because I’m going with him.”
Just like that the anger fades and shock takes its place. It takes him several seconds to process. I literally watch his features shift as his mind breaks down the information.
“Come again?” he finally speaks.
“You heard me. Gabe is returning to L.A. in two days and when he does, Landen and I are going with him.”
Corey stumbles backward, glaring at me like he has no idea who he’s looking at right now. Many emotions cross his face—anger, sadness, something I can’t quite pinpoint, and then comes the wall. The blank stare that tells me he’s shutting me out.
“Well then.” His voice is eerily calm as he straightens his shoulders. “I guess I have my answer.”
“Please don’t be this way, Cor. I need you.”
“I guess you’re just going to have to find comfort in your rock star because I’m fucking done wiping away your tears. I’m done being the shoulder you cry on. I’m done watching you self-destruct over and over again.”
“You promised I wouldn’t lose you over this.”
“I guess I shouldn’t have a made a promise I couldn’t keep.”
“Corey,” my voice breaks, emotion clogging my throat.
“I’m done.” His eyes burn holes through me, his resolve deafening. “Good luck, Rae. I hope your new life in L.A. is all you hope for.”
With that, he spins and walks away, ignoring my attempt to call him back. I watch him for several moments. Watch the way his shoulders sag the further away from me he gets. Watch the way his head falls just before he turns the corner and disappears.
I’m frozen to the sidewalk, unable to process what just happened. It takes what feels like forever for me to gain my bearings and head back toward the diner.
I feel my heart splitting in two, broken by someone I thought would always stand next to me no matter what. I can’t believe that after everything we’ve been through, he would ruin our friendship simply because he doesn’t like Gabe.
So what. He doesn’t have to like him. He doesn’t have to understand my choice to give him a second chance or the opportunity to know his son. Corey doesn’t have to agree or like any part of it. But as my best friend, he should stand by me. That’s what friends do, right? They stand beside one another. Support one another.
I wipe at the stray tear that manages to leak from my eye before pushing my way inside the diner. Gabe doesn’t see me at first, his focus is on Landen as he tries different techniques to get him to eat. But once he catches sight of me, his forehead draws up in concern.
Giving him a weak smile, I move toward him and my son, trying to swallow down the overwhelming emotion that has my chest so tight I feel like I’m in danger of tearing apart.
“Everything okay?” The concern in his voice causes my heart to sink even further as I slide into the chair across from him.
“Yeah. It’ll be fine.” I force a smile, refusing to put this on him.
I may not know Gabe in and out yet, but I know him well enough to know that he will feel responsible and extremely guilty over my altercation with Corey, which he shouldn’t. This isn’t on him.
“You sure?” He narrows his gaze at me, clearly not buying it.
“Yeah. I’m sure.” Another forced smile before I turn my attention to Landen. “So, I take it you couldn’t win with the carrots.” I chuckle, pointing at the bright orange smear of smashed carrots that covers nearly the entire surface in front of where Landen’s high chair is positioned.
His eyes watch me skeptically, but he chooses not to push the matter which I’m extremely grateful for.
“Definitely not a fan.” He shakes his head, finally turning toward Landen.
The way he looks at him calms my raging heart a little. Corey may think he knows what he’s talking about, but he doesn’t see this. He doesn’t see the way Gabe looks at Landen, the way he holds him, the way he speaks to him, the way he loves him.
No one would understand unless they saw it up close. But this little boy has his hard rocker daddy eating out of the palm of his tiny hand. It’s clear to see that there’s not a thing Gabe wouldn’t do for Landen, and that is what reassures me that I’m making the right choice.
Of course, I’m terrified to leave. I’m scared to death. But I’m more scared of being without Gabe than I am of going with him.
“I love you.”
The moment the words leave my lips I watch Gabe freeze. His body goes stiff and a long moment passes between us before he finally moves his gaze from Landen to me.
Nervous energy buzzes through my body as he studies my face, but I can’t bring myself to regret saying it. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, I’m happy I had the courage to put it out there.
“You do, huh?” He finally speaks, a slow smile spreading across his gorgeous face.
“I do,” I answer without hesitation.
“Would you think I was only saying it because you did if I told you I loved you, too?” He reaches for my hand, wrapping his fingers around it the moment it’s within his reach.
“Not if you mean it.” My voice shakes.
“I love you, too, Rae. I’ve known for a while but was afraid you weren’t ready to hear it. The way I feel about you, about our son, I never knew I could feel this way about anyone.”
“I know what you mean.” I glance at Landen who seems to be focused on the interaction between us. Even though I know he doesn’t understand what we’re saying, in some weird way I feel like he can sense the magnitude of the moment.
“Thank you.” I look at Gabe to find his eyes still firmly locked on me.
“For what?” I ask, a little confused.
“For letting me love you. For letting me love him.” He looks to Landen and then back to me. “I promise I won’t mess this up.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that,” I tease, somewhat alleviating the heaviness of the moment.
The smile he gives me obliterates what’s left of the wall I placed between us. I spent two years stacking those bricks. Two years reinforcing the wall from every angle to make sure that Gabe Preston never penetrated my heart again.
One look and it’s as if the wall never existed in the first place.
Corey may not believe in Gabe, but I do and come hell or high water we are going to prove everyone who doubted us wrong.