It’s been almost a week since I’ve seen Rae. I’ve called enough that it’s borderline creepy and have even made it a point to walk by the diner every day on my way to and from the studio just to see if she’s inside.
It’s like she’s fallen off the face of the earth. At least that’s how it feels right now.
Crossing the street toward Abbotts, I have no expectations of finding her there, but I know I’ll drive myself crazy if I don’t at least try.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Returning home to Georgia has totally fucked with my mojo.
I pull my hat down lower when I pass a group of college kids making their way down the sidewalk. Considering I only planned to be gone a few minutes, I slipped away without Larry or Moe, so the last thing I need is for someone to recognize me. I don’t have the capacity to deal with people right now.
I round the corner and head down Main, my hands shoved deep into my pockets, and my face turned down.
I fully admit that I’m semi-stalking this girl right now. But fuck me. If she’d just call me back maybe I could put this shit to bed and get her out of my fucking head. I don’t know if it’s sobriety or if she simply has that much effect on me, but Raelyn Abbott has quickly become my new addiction.
I’m about twenty yards from the diner when I move to the left to give a couple walking toward me room to pass by. It isn’t until I catch sight of the woman’s face that I feel like someone just sucker punched me right in the ribs.
It’s her. I’m so surprised by this fact that it takes my brain several moments to process that it’s actually her I’m seeing.
She’s wearing cut-off denim, reminding me why I love Georgia summers so damn much, and a red tank top, her hair piled loosely on top of her head.
Fuck me, I swear she’s more beautiful every time I see her.
I look from her to the man who has his arm draped across her shoulder, laughing at something she just said, then back to her. There’s a huge smile across her face, and it knocks the wind out of my sails a bit. She looks so happy that it almost derails my advances.
Almost….
I see the recognition flash across her face just as they approach, her smile fading the instant she realizes it’s me. I side step into the middle of the sidewalk giving them no choice but to stop or go all the way around me. Either way, there’s no ignoring my presence.
As I hoped, they come to an abrupt halt just feet in front of me. I can feel the man’s heated gaze on my face, but I’m too consumed by the beauty in front of me to really care enough to acknowledge him right away.
“Gabe.” My name is just a whisper on her lips, the sound like fucking music to my ears.
“I thought that was you.” I play if off like this is a complete coincidence, and I wasn’t just headed to the diner to look for her.
“What are you doing just walking around?” She looks around the bustling street, the Saturday night alive with college kids and people out enjoying their weekend.
“We’re working at the studio right now. Pete needed a few minutes to get some stuff ready.” I shrug like it’s no big deal. “Thought I’d take a walk, clear my head. What are you out doing?” I question, for the first time flipping my gaze to the man whose arm has not moved from its position over Rae’s shoulder. A fact I’m acutely aware of.
Something about the guy seems familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on where I’ve seen him before. He stands about the same height as me but isn’t quite as built as I am. I straighten my shoulders to make sure he catches this fact in case he wants to cause a problem.
Not sure what’s stemming such a reaction from me, I flip my eyes back to Rae who shrinks slightly under my gaze. She seems almost afraid of me, but that can’t be right. Why the fuck would she be?
“We’re on a date,” the man says, his words stated in a way that lets me know he’s trying to rub this fact in.
So clearly he knows who the fuck I am…
“We’re going over to see High Town play,” Rae blurts, her cheeks flushing pink.
I ignore the ping of jealousy I feel in my gut and push forward.
“They still play the strip?” I ask, having not realized Matt and the guys were still at it. I haven’t seen those fuckers in ages.
“They play at Oliver’s a lot.” She seems uncomfortable with the conversation, but I’m not sure if it’s because of me or the fucker whose eyes are currently bouncing back and forth between the two of us.
“Fuck, I haven’t been there in forever.”
While my comment is true, it’s been a good two years, I can still picture the place like it was yesterday. It was one of the places the band frequented before we got signed.
“You’re welcome to join us.” I can tell the moment the invitation leaves her lips that she wants to take it back. I don’t know if I’m offended or amused by this fact.
“I’m sure he needs to get back, Rae,” the asshat next to her gets out through gritted teeth. “Besides, if he’s going somewhere with that many people, I’m sure he has to have a bodyguard or something. Isn’t that right, rock star?” His distaste drips from every word as he directs the last part at me.
“Corey,” Rae scolds, laying a light smack across his stomach. “You’ll have to forgive my best friend,” she says more to him than to me.
Best friend?
My relief must be evident because Corey pulls Rae tighter into his side like he’s trying to shelter her from me. Good luck with that, asshole.
I now realize why he looks so familiar. I know I ran into him at least a couple times back when Rae and I were hanging out. I knew the first time I met him that he had a major boner for her. I can clearly see that this fact still remains true.
I should have realized who he is sooner, but I’ve seen so many fucking faces it’s hard to pinpoint where I know anyone from anymore.
“I’m just saying, he probably can’t just walk into a crowded bar and expect that no one is gonna know who he is, especially since his band used to play around here,” Corey moves to explain.
“It’s cool. I know what you meant.” I shrug off his previous comment.
Clearly, he’s intimidated by me, and that I can live with. It means he understands my position and what it is that I’m after.
“I appreciate the invite, but I should probably be getting back. Kill and the guys are probably wondering where in the fuck I disappeared to.” I chuckle. “Another time?”
“Yeah. Another time,” she stutters out.
“Cool.” I lean forward, stopping when my face is directly next to hers on the opposite side of where Corey stands.
I can feel her visibly tense at my closeness.
“Just make sure you answer my calls this time,” I speak into her ear, smiling at the small shiver that runs through her.
“I’ll see you later, Rae.” I pull back, my eyes holding her gaze for a long moment before I step to the side and take off down the sidewalk, leaving a very flustered Rae and less than pleased Corey in my wake.
****
“Where the fuck did you get off to?” Chet hits me with angry eyes the second I step into the lounge area of the studio where the guys are still fucking around.
“Took a walk.” I shrug, unable to shake the smile from my face.
Seeing Rae’s reaction to me, the way her body reacted to me, has made me feel like a giddy fucking teenager.
“To where?” Aiden’s narrowed gaze catches my attention.
“Nowhere. I just walked.” I collapse down onto the couch next to him. “Anything else you wanna know, Mom?” I shove at his shoulder.
“What’s got you in such a good mood? You’ve only been gone twenty minutes.” Killian is the next to speak up.
“Fresh air did me good.” I lounge back against the stiff leather.
He studies me for a long moment, clearly wanting to question my excuse.
“I didn’t have a drink. Honest.” I hold my hands up. “Come smell me if you want,” I offer, feeling even more like a fucking teenager now that I feel like I’ve got three angry parents staring at me like they know I’m lying.
“I think I’ll pass.” Kill breaks the tension with a lopsided smile, shaking his head.
“Your loss.” I shrug. “I smell fucking awesome.”
Fuck, even with the guys’ silent accusations, I still can’t shake the smile on my face. What the fuck is this girl doing to me?
I feel Chet’s eyes on me and flip my gaze in his direction, hitting him with a questioning look.
“Who’s the girl?” He finally speaks after what feels like an eternity.
“What?” I fail at my attempt to act confused.
“I know that smile.” He points his index finger at me. “There’s no mistaking it. Killian’s ass walked around wearing that same damn smile for weeks when Nora first joined the tour.”
“There’s no girl,” I object, straightening my posture. “You know me. I’m as free as a bird.” I sing out the last part.
“And this bird you cannot change.” Killian’s voice comes seemingly out of nowhere, prompting Chet to chime in directly after him.
“Lord knows I can’t change,” he sings in my direction.
I laugh and shake my head, plugging my ears as I speak.
“You may be a bad ass drummer dude, but you can’t carry a fucking tune to save your life.” I laugh harder when he continues singing, this time even louder as he stands and crosses toward me.
“Lord help me, I can’t change.” He stretches out his words, a desperate attempt to do only what Lynyrd Skynyrd can.
“Get the fuck away from me, dude.” I push at him when he drops on the couch between me and Aiden and starts humming the ending of the song right next to my face.
“What? You don’t like being serenaded?” He hits me with a playfully hurt expression.
“Not by a fucking big burly dude I don’t.” I shove off the couch and duck behind Killian.
“Don’t fucking hide behind me.” He laughs.
“Fuck you, dude. You’re the one who got him started.”
“Technically you opened the door. You know how much he loves his Skynyrd.”
“I know how much he likes butchering Skynyrd,” I retort.
“Fuck you, guys. I’m fucking amazing.” Chet pushes off the couch.
Laughter bubbles in my chest as he starts to dance around the room, fake microphone in hand as he belts out the opening verse of Sweet Home Alabama.
“Oh lord,” is all I hear before Chet stops mid-sentence and straightens his t-shirt like nothing is going on.
I turn from my place behind Kill to see Nora and Kate step inside the room, each with a drink carrier full of coffees in their hands.
“Please tell me it wasn’t you I heard butchering Skynyrd,” Kate whines, knowing full well that only her boyfriend could be responsible for such horrid singing.
“Butchering?” Chet holds his chest and stumbles back like he just took an arrow to his heart.
“Butchering,” she repeats, rolling her eyes as she sets the drink carrier on the table in front of me and Killian.
“Baby, you wound me,” he huffs, grabbing her hand the moment she turns, pulling her into his chest.
Kate is tiny; maybe five-feet tall and probably weighs all off 110 pounds soaking wet. Her small frame practically disappears in Chet’s embrace.
“Someone’s gotta tell you the truth.” She giggles when he playfully tickles her side.
Figuring it’s safe now to step out from behind Killian’s chair, I reclaim my seat on the couch next to Aiden just as Nora starts handing out drinks.
“Black with two sweeteners.” She hands me a cup.
“If Killian is ever stupid enough to get rid of you, I’m fucking stealing your ass,” I tease, setting the cup on the stand next to me.
“If I’m ever stupid enough, someone fucking run me over with the tour bus,” he interjects on a laugh.
“What were you guys up to in here anyway?” Nora asks, extending Aiden his coffee.
“Well, we were trying to get info on Gabe’s new girl but then per usual…” Killian starts.
“Y’all got sidetracked,” Nora adds on a giggle.
“Pretty much,” Aiden agrees, nodding his head in thanks as he takes the cup from her.
“So, there’s a new girl huh?” Nora hits me with a knowing look, a small smile pulling up the side of her mouth.
“There’s no girl,” I insist, knowing full well she already knows exactly who said girl is.
“Uh huh.” Killian shakes his head, wrapping his arms around Nora when she flops down onto his lap, setting his coffee on the table next to him.
“Can’t a guy be in a good mood without a pussy being involved?” I object.
“A normal guy maybe,” Chet booms, tucking Kate into his side seconds before she lands an elbow to his stomach. “Babe!”
“Be nice,” she warns.
“I am fucking nice!” He throws his hands up like he can’t believe she would say such a thing.
“Oh, shut up, diva.” She wraps her hands around his waist, pulling him back to her.
“Can you believe how she speaks to me?” He shakes his head, before settling his big arms around her.
“Gotta keep your ass in check.” She sighs dramatically before laying her cheek against his chest.
“We’re ready for the next track when you are.” Pete’s voice interrupts our banter as it comes over the intercom, letting us know he’s ready for us to get back to it.
“Duty calls.” Killian drops a kiss on Nora’s shoulder before they both stand.
“Thank fuck,” I say a little too enthusiastically, pushing up off the couch.
While I’m always happy to be in the studio, most of my excitement comes from the fact that I know I dodged a bullet, and by the time we finish, the guys will likely have forgotten we were even talking about a girl to begin with.
It’s not that I don’t want them to know about Rae. Fuck, I’m fairly certain they’ve all met her at least once or twice along the way. It’s more that there’s nothing really to tell. Yet, anyway.
Rae may be playing hard to get right now, but what she has yet to realize is that her hesitation toward me only fuels my need to have her in my life again.
If she thinks avoiding me will in any way lessen my advances, she clearly doesn’t know me very well. Maybe the last time we were just fucking, but this time I have this unexplainable need to know her more intimately. To understand her. To know every secret she hides behind those intoxicating blue eyes.
I have yet to determine the real root of my sudden obsession with her, but I know there is no way I can deny myself something I want to my fucking core.
Settling into the studio room, Laurie now strapped around me, my mind wanders from Rae to her child. The more I think about him, the more I consider whether he could be mine.
If that is the case, and he is mine, I’m not sure why she would have chosen to keep him from me. Or why she insists on avoiding me. I have a feeling it probably has a lot to do with the person I was when I left and who I became while I was on the road.
I’m determined to prove to her that I’m not the person she thinks I am. No, I’m determined to prove it to myself.
Being back here, being sober, I don’t know, I just feel different. I think I’m finally starting to realize that what I was looking for in the bottom of a whiskey bottle and the countless women I buried myself inside of daily was simply somewhere to belong.
I never considered that maybe where I belong has always been here.
“You ready, dude?” Killian settles in front of the mic, the same excited smile he always wears in the booth firmly in place.
“Let’s do it.” I nod.