My steps falter the moment I hear it. The same voice that used to light my skin on fire now sends my heart plummeting somewhere into my stomach. I press my back against the kitchen wall, tilting my head just enough to try and see him through the serving window that sits between the counter and the kitchen.
Maybe I’m just super paranoid.
Do I really remember his voice that well?
Did he really have that much of a hold on me?
I already know the answer, of course.
Yes. Yes, he did.
I hear Grace giggle before seeing the back of her head appear as she leads the man to the counter. It isn’t until she ducks down to look at the baked goods stored in the glass cabinet below that his face finally comes into view.
Suddenly all the wind leaves my body. It feels like someone has just punched me square in the stomach, and I can’t find air.
He’s smiling at Grace, who is clearly fumbling around trying to find something for him. He’s giving her that brilliant smile, his perfect teeth on full display, the one I used to think he reserved for me. I quickly learned that nothing was reserved for me. No part of him ever belonged to me.
Well, except one. And even that he didn’t give me intentionally.
He’s got a black baseball cap pulled down on his forehead, blocking his eyes from view. His facial hair is a little longer than it used to be, now more of a short scruff than a five o’clock shadow. And when his tongue darts out over that damn ring that loops over the corner of his bottom lip, I all but melt right here on the spot.
How, after all this time, can his body still have such an effect on me?
Pulling my head out of view, I try to calm my raging heart. It feels like it’s beating a hundred miles a minute, thudding so hard against my ribcage I can feel the vibration all the way to my toes.
I press my back harder into the cool wall, wishing Grace would spend more time getting whatever he needs than whatever the hell it is she’s doing out there. I need him out of here, like now.
I can’t face him. Not now. Not like this.
“Hey, Rae.” The second the thought crosses my mind I hear Grace call for me. “Rae,” she repeats when I don’t answer right away.
“Yeah,” I croak out, making no attempt to move.
“Do we have any more bran muffins?” she asks, sticking her head halfway through the large opening in the wall before finally locating me pressed against it just to her right. “What are you doing back here?” She cocks a brow at me, her red curls falling forward as she leans.
“Nothing.” I straighten, shaking my head as I let out a shaky breath. “Bran muffin,” I ramble. “Is there none out there?”
“Would I be asking if there were?”
“No, sorry.” I try to shake myself right. “Morning. There will be a fresh batch in the morning,” I stutter, giving her a nervous smile.
She hits me with a confused expression before disappearing, her too sweet voice filling my ears just seconds later.
“Sorry. We’re all out until morning. Is there something else I can get you? Maybe a turnover or some zucchini bread?” Her fake tone makes me want to punch her in the face.
Grace is super spunky and tons of fun, but right now I just want to drag her outside by her long ponytail and tell her to stay the hell away from Gabe Preston. I try to rationalize my anger by blaming it on my need to protect the poor girl from what I went through, but honestly, I know that’s not the truth.
“Did you say Rae?” The moment his deep voice washes over me, my skin erupts in goose bumps. “As in Rae Abbott?” he questions.
He remembers me?
What am I saying, of course, he does. He went off to become a rock star, not suffered from amnesia. Even still, the knowledge of this excites me a hell of a lot more than it should.
But that excitement quickly turns to panic when I realize what this could mean.
Landen…
“You know her?”
“I used to.” I can almost hear the smile in his voice.
Asshole.
“Hey, Rae. Can you come out here?” Grace calls back into the kitchen.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I look down at my attire—black fitted capris and a teal racerback tank, and then immediately touch my hair, realizing it’s still in a messy pony. I was out for a run when my dad called to ask if I could swing by and help Grace close for the night.
Why, out of all the nights, did tonight have to be the night he shows up here?
Knowing there’s no graceful way out of this situation, I take a deep breath and push through the swinging door that leads out into the dining area, stepping up next to the counter that Grace is standing behind.
“What’s up?” I keep my gaze focused on her, making it a point not to look at Gabe.
“He was asking for you.” She gestures to the man standing across the counter from her, forcing me to give him my attention.
The moment my head swings in his direction, I suck in a ragged breath. His blue speckled hazel eyes find mine, and my insides instantly clatter together like dishes being rattled in an earthquake, my entire being shaken from the interaction.
“Raelyn Abbott.” His voice dances over me, the fog growing stronger with each second that passes.
I have yet to form a single word when he closes the small distance between us and wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest.
“It’s been so long.” He speaks into my hair, the entire interaction feeling more like a dream than actual reality. “How the hell are you?” He pulls back, both hands on my shoulders as he stares back at me.
“Good. I’m good,” I stutter out, trying to shake off the drunk feeling swirling through my brain. “I didn’t know you were back in town.” I lie. I don’t know what else to say, and I’m desperate to fill the space with words.
“Yeah. We just got back last week.” He drops his hands, taking a small step back to get a better look at me.
His eyes trace over my face, my body, drinking me in like I’m a glass of water that he’s spent days stumbling through the desert to find. I wish it didn’t, but the thought excites me more than I care to admit.
“Kill’s got us holed up in some farmhouse on the edge of town. We’re hitting up Pete’s later this week to lay down some tracks for our new album.”
“That’s, that’s awesome. Congrats, by the way. The band. I mean, wow. You guys really made it.” I sound like an idiot. A freaking stuttering, flustered, idiot, but I just can’t seem to gather my bearings standing so close to a man I thought I’d never see again.
“It’s been crazy,” he agrees. “We should catch up sometime. Maybe grab a bite?” he questions, almost hopeful.
“I’m not sure. I’ve got a lot going on right now.”
He sees right through my excuse but doesn’t even question it for a second.
“Bullshit, Rae. You can make time to have dinner with me. Fuck, it’s been almost two years.” He gives me that damn half smile that makes my heart beat out of rhythm.
He opens his mouth like he’s going to say more but then stops when a voice sounds behind him. We both turn our heads toward the interruption.
“We need to go,” is all the massive man says before disappearing back outside as quickly as he appeared.
“Sorry. The label insists,” he tries to explain, a look of what I can only describe as disappointment taking over his handsome features.
My god, this man really is a rock star. Just the way he looks at me makes me want to throw my top off and scream his name. I imagine many women have this reaction toward him.
He’s a little harder around the edges than I remember. The carefree smile and laugh I had grown accustomed to during our time together is nowhere to be found, but I still see the man I fell hard for. He’s staring back at me at this very moment, reminding me what I had, what I lost, and what I now have to show for it.
He scratches at his jaw, hesitating for a brief moment before finally meeting my gaze again.
“Guess I should go.” He gestures toward the door, the material of his faded t-shirt protesting around his protruding muscles as he moves.
“Okay. Yeah. It was good seeing you.”
“You, too.”
He gives me one more long look, scanning me from head to toe before his eyes touch mine again for the briefest moment. I don’t know what he finds there, but whatever it is causes a slow smile to spread across his face.
“I’ll see you later.” It’s not a question, he’s telling me as if it’s an absolute certainty.
Seconds later I’m watching his backside as he disappears inside a black SUV, and I still have yet to move even an inch. My feet feel glued to the floor as my mind tries to process what the hell just happened.
Suddenly, everything that I was bottling up the whole time he was standing in front of me seems to crash over me, swallowing me whole. I can feel Grace’s eyes on me, watching me, but I don’t care.
Tears pool in my eyes, and I can’t seem to drag in a full breath.
Seeing him, being so close, has awoken something inside of me I thought I buried a long time ago. But more than that, it’s brought back an anger I didn’t realize I still harbored for him.
How many times did I try to reach him?
How many messages did I leave that went unanswered?
He just swoops in like we’re old friends just catching up, not even acknowledging the way things ended between us, or the year following his departure, and all the times I reached out.
Who the hell does this man think he is?
Better yet, who the hell does he think I am?
And with that, my resolve slips back into place.
He didn’t care enough to even tell me he was leaving, why the hell should I care that he’s back? His being here shouldn’t change one single thing for me.
I gave him a chance, an opportunity, and he chose to ignore it. It won’t be something I extend a second time.
“Rae, you okay?” Grace interrupts my thoughts, pulling my gaze to where she’s still standing behind the counter, confusion clear on her face.
“Fine,” I answer, taking off toward the front door.
Unplugging the Open sign, I lock the door and make quick work of lowering the front blinds. If I was anxious to get home ten minutes ago, I’m even more so now.
“You about finished, Grace?” I question, whizzing past her into the kitchen and to the office on the other side. Grabbing the deposit from the top of the desk, I tuck it under my arm before killing the lights and returning less than a minute later.
“Yeah.” She watches me curiously, clearly trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
“Well come on.” I gesture toward the back exit. “Let’s get out of here. I want to get home in time to tuck Landen in.” My excuse is poor, considering he’s probably been asleep for two hours now, but it’s an excuse I know will get her moving.
“Of course.” She collects her things in record time and meets me at the back just as I’m arming the alarm.
She doesn’t say anything until we step out into the dimly lit parking lot behind the diner, hesitating just long enough that I know she’s about to speak.
“Um… So, are you gonna tell me what the hell that was?” She gestures back toward the diner.
“Just someone from my past.” I shrug, feeling bad for being so vague, but it’s not like I know the girl that well or that we’re good friends or anything.
“From your reaction to him, he’s a lot more than just someone from your past.” She arches her brow at me.
“We’ve got a lot of history, and his presence was unexpected, that’s all.”
“You got history with any other hot rock stars?” Her words stop me dead in my tracks.
“You know who he was?” I question, not sure why I find this hard to believe.
“Have I been living under a rock for the last year? Of course, I do.” She shakes her head like she can’t believe I would think her to be so stupid.
“Right. Yeah, of course. I don’t know. Don’t most people just focus on the singer?” I question, yet another shit excuse.
“Not when the guitar player is melt your panties hot.” She gives me a look that says duh, without actually saying the word.
“Right.” I exhale, so over this conversation. “Well hot he may be, but trust me when I say he’s not someone you want to get involved with.”
“Why’s that?” Her questions are starting to annoy me more than usual.
“Just trust me on this one will ya, Grace?” My tone must tell her I’m over the conversation because she nods at me with wide eyes and rips open her car door.
“Night, Rae.” She slides into her vehicle without another word, leaving me to round the building by myself, feeling a bit guilty for being so snippy with her.
I know it’s not her fault. Hell, her reaction to meeting a famous rock star was pretty tame considering most girls would have squealed and begged for an autograph the moment they realized who he was. I’m just wound tight after our interaction and have no desire to talk about it further, especially with the likes of my father’s staff.
“What’s up, buttercup?” Amber’s smile is a welcome one as I round the corner to find her leaning against the passenger door of her Audi.
“Thank you for picking me up.” I smile at my best friend. “When Dad called, I was already too far into my run to turn around and get my car.”
“No worries, love. From the looks of things, I’d say you could use a friend right now anyway.” She gives me a knowing look.
“You saw?”
“I saw,” she confirms. “You got any B&J left?” she asks, referring to our favorite ice cream.
“Just restocked,” I admit, giving her a defeated sigh.
“Good, because it looks like we’re gonna need it.” She laughs lightly, tugging open the passenger door before gesturing for me to climb inside.