Chapter Four
AS THEY WALKED away from the warmth of the bonfire, a breeze blew off the water, bringing with it the scents of the sea. Lizzie’s brows furrowed, and Blue knew he was pushing her a little harder toward being alone with him than he’d planned, but she’d looked like her mind was going a million miles an hour. He knew her nature was to handle sixteen things at once, but even the Energizer Bunny needed a break sometimes.
“So, you grew up in a conservative home?” he asked to break the ice, loving the fact that she hadn’t tried to shake off his touch yet.
“You could say that. How about you? I’ve met a few of your brothers, and they don’t seem very conservative, but…” She obviously didn’t want to talk about her childhood. Lizzie looked down at the waves crashing along the shore, and the moonlight caught her profile, highlighting her slightly upturned nose, her high cheekbones, and her incredibly distracting, kissable lips.
Blue took a moment to regain his focus before answering. “My father had strong beliefs about family loyalty and work ethics. He drove home the idea of what a man should be with each of us, and I think he forgot that my sister, Trish, was a girl, because he expected the same tough standards from her as the rest of us. That’s probably how she’s gotten so far in her acting career—on sheer will and wanting to be better than everyone else.”
“I knew she was an actress, but when you say better than everyone else, do you mean stuck-up?”
Blue laughed. “No. My sister is anything but stuck-up. She’s very competitive. Even growing up she tried to keep up with me and our four brothers, and we’re a tough group. We were always roughhousing and racing around.”
“It sounds like you had a lot of fun with your siblings. What do your parents do?” Lizzie stopped walking and gazed out over the water.
“My father is one of the founders of East Coast Search and Rescue.” Blue had always been proud of his father and of the way he’d been raised. “I think it’s safe to say that he has a no-bull policy on all things, ranging from taking responsibility to how we treat others. My mother was a little looser with us. She was a stay-at-home mom, and she was always baking and tinkering around with our school projects, building forts out of sheets with us. That kind of thing.”
“That sounds wonderful. My mom isn’t like that at all. She loves us, but she wasn’t a sit-down-on-the-floor-with-your-kids type of mom. I’m going to be, though. I’m going to be the type of mom who bakes and makes forts for sure. I want my kids to smile every time they think of me.”
“Don’t you smile when you think of your mom?” Blue watched her eyes drop to the sand again, and his chest burned. He would do anything to give her a reason to smile. He wanted to fold her in his arms until she smiled again, go back in time and give her the childhood she wished she’d had. But he was thankful that she was here, taking a walk alone with him on the beautiful beach in the moonlight. He didn’t want her to feel pressured for more, so he held back.
He’d been careful not to give any indication of his feelings toward Lizzie to their friends. She’d turned him down enough times that he didn’t want to embarrass her, even though it had been torture fighting his desire to reach out and pull her into his lap, as Sawyer had with Sky. When Lizzie had first turned him down for a date, he’d purposely not told Sky he’d asked her out. What guy likes to admit defeat? The last thing he needed was Sky putting pressure on Lizzie to go out with him. He knew in his heart that if Lizzie ever came around and went out on a real date with him, she’d fall for him on her own, the same way he’d been falling for her all along.
“Sometimes,” Lizzie answered, bringing his mind back to the moment. “But more often I worry about what she’d think of me if she knew who I really was.” As if she caught herself saying something she shouldn’t, she quickly added, “I mean, look how short my shorts are. She would totally think that’s slutty.”
“Slutty has more to do with attitude than clothing, and you’re too beautiful a person inside to ever look slutty.”
She shivered as a breeze swept off the water. The Cape was always cool at night, and the sea breeze made it that much colder. He’d like to have her in his lap now and to drape the blanket over her legs. He should have suggested that she change out of her skimpy shorts before going to the bonfire, but he hadn’t been able to think past his shock of her agreeing to go with him. Blue draped the blanket over her shoulders and placed an arm around her to hold it in place, hoping the way it hung to the back of her knees would keep her warm. She turned to face him, no longer shivering.
“Thank you,” she said softly. Her lips always seemed to be smiling, but now they were slightly parted, and she was looking at him like she was trying to decide if she should lean in a little closer, the same way he was trying to decide if he should take the initiative and press his lips to hers.
“Lizzie.” Her name came out as a whisper, surprising him, but standing there beneath the stars, with moonlight dancing on the water and Lizzie’s sweet perfume surrounding them, there was nothing he could do to rein in the emotions he’d been trying to temper for more than a year. Being in a group made it easier to distract himself from all the ways he was drawn to her, but now, as Lizzie’s hair blew across her cheek, he couldn’t resist tucking the wayward strands behind her ear. She had the silkiest, shiniest hair, and he’d dreamed of tangling his fingers in it as he ravaged her mouth and kissed her breathless. That simple touch, the brushing of his fingers over her skin, heightened the desire that rushed through him.
She licked her lips, and it felt like an invitation, but Blue didn’t want to mess this up. He fought to shift his brain off of the fast track to her lips and focus on something else. Anything else.
He reached for the two sides of the blanket and placed them in her hand. “Here. This will keep the wind off your back.”
She watched him tuck the blanket into her hands, confusion riddling her brow and desire lingering in her eyes. “Okay. Thank you.”
They started walking down the beach again, and he knew he was on his last shred of self-control. “We should probably head back to your place and fix your oven before”—I take you in my arms and kiss you—“it gets too late.”
“Right.”
Way to go, jackass. Now things are even more confusing.
By the time they made their way back down the beach, their friends were gone and the fire was out. Blue hadn’t realized how long they’d been walking. On the way back to Lizzie’s house, Blue silently cursed himself. He was a fool for not backing off before they got that close—and an even worse fool for not kissing her when he’d had the chance, but she’d made it clear that she didn’t want to date him, which meant he had to have misread her signals.
Back at her house, he followed her down to the basement and knelt beside the oven to fish through his tools. Lizzie leaned against the counter, looking sexy in those skimpy white shorts and fidgeting with the edge of his sweatshirt, which she still wore. She smiled, and he rose to talk to her. Well, that didn’t help. She was only a few inches away, and when she lifted her eyes to look at him, he swore they darkened seductively. As if his legs had minds of their own, he stepped closer. The air between them thickened with desire, and he couldn’t resist caressing her cheek.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” Was there truth serum in the drink Hunter had given him? What the devil was he doing?
“Blue…”
It wasn’t a warning, and he was pretty sure she wasn’t telling him to stop, but he needed to be sure.
“I can’t help it, Lizzie. This is the closest you’ve let me get to you since we met. I won’t take it further. I just…” Want to kiss you.
“I’m not good for you,” she said so softly he almost didn’t hear her.
He searched her eyes, but she wasn’t giving anything away. “What does that mean?”
She held his gaze. “It means that we shouldn’t get close.”
“Lizzie—”
She pressed her finger to his lips. “This isn’t easy for me. I had a nice time with you tonight. It was wonderful to spend an evening out and to get to know you better and to…feel so much.”
He heard a but coming and was terrified of losing their connection. He slid his hand to the nape of her neck and stepped in closer. “I don’t understand.”
She dropped her eyes and closed them for a breath, and when she opened them, she said, “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t feel what I feel? Like there’s a force pulling us together?”
“I feel…” She swallowed hard, as if she could swallow whatever it was that she felt. “I feel like if you kiss me, I’m going to tumble into you.”
Thank my lucky stars for little favors. He couldn’t suppress his smile.
“And…?”
She trapped her lower lip between her teeth. “And that’s not good. For you. Trust me. I’ll only let you down.”
“Lizzie Barber, you are a smart, beautiful woman, but please let me be the judge of that.”
LIZZIE WAS TRYING, really trying, to resist pressing her lips to Blue’s, but the powers that be must have had it out for her. Maybe it was for keeping a secret from her family or living a double life, but she was sure this was some sort of test of strength. Blue smelled musky and earthy, and his hand was hot on her neck. He was thick and powerful, but his touch was gentle and somehow possessive at once. The feel of his calloused hand made her want to experience his touch all over. She wanted to know how his mouth tasted and if his kisses would be hard or soft, if he explored with his tongue or claimed and demanded. She wanted to go through every item on her Naughty-Love list and maybe even delve into her Naughty-Places list. She’d never met a man who made her want to be wholesome and dirty at once, but she could see it in Blue’s eyes, the gentleman and the bad boy. It was a tempting combination, one she wasn’t sure she could resist for long. But she owed it to him to try.
He’d asked her out for a year. A year. What kind of guy pursues a woman for a year?
What kind of woman turns down someone as wonderful as Blue?
“Blue—”
Before she could say another word, he pressed his lips to hers. Her mind went numb, and her legs followed. She clutched at his shirt for support as he slicked his tongue over her lower lip, teasing her there before dipping inside and stroking over her tongue. Blue didn’t hurry the kiss. He deepened it, lingering over every surface of her mouth as if he were savoring every second of the hottest, most passionate kiss he’d ever experienced, the same way she was. It had been a long time since she’d kissed a man, but she couldn’t remember ever feeling like this. Her entire body was aflame, and what the heck was her leg doing? Sliding up his thigh? Her hips pressed into his, and—holy Moses—he groaned. Groaned! Like, Give. Me. More. She clutched at his shoulders, but that wasn’t nearly enough. As her chest tried to become one with his, her greedy fingers fisted in his hair and took the kiss deeper, but it still wasn’t enough.
Her cell phone vibrated, and her fuzzy brain reluctantly began to come back into focus. He had one hand splayed across her back, the other tangled in her hair, and his talented mouth was doing everything it could to deaden her brain cells one by one.
Yes. Please!
Her phone vibrated again, and then the world spun away. She heard a moan and realized it came from her own lungs. She had no business leading him on. Lizzie tried to force herself to pull away, but it proved too difficult. His kisses were all consuming. She wanted to stay right there in his arms, with his mouth crushed to hers and his heart pounding so hard against her that it felt like it had climbed into her body.
They shouldn’t do this. It couldn’t go anywhere. He would never want a girlfriend who was the Naked Baker, and she couldn’t give that up until Maddy had her degree. Reality refused to be shoved aside. Reality sucked. She pressed her hand firmly to his chest, forcibly pushing him away as she gulped in air. He blinked several times without saying a word, and she gripped his shirt in fisted hands.
“Say something,” she pleaded. Oh no, what have we done? Their friendship was at stake, and the longer he remained silent, the worse she felt. “Blue!” She didn’t mean to raise her voice, but she was mad at herself for giving in to her desires—and equally as angry at herself for pulling away and making them stop.
He shook his head and narrowed his eyes, as if she were just coming back into focus.
“Sorry. I’m sorry. I thought…” He scrubbed a hand down his face and took a step back, but she was still clutching his shirt. He covered her hands with one of his and smiled.
“We can’t do this,” she managed in a thin voice she didn’t recognize.
“Why?” He stepped closer again, and she pressed back against the counter, afraid if she didn’t, she’d kiss him again.
“Because.”
“That’s not an answer,” he whispered as he slid a hand down her side to her waist, leaving a trail of renewed heat.
“I can’t,” she said, despite the voice in her head telling her to shut up. “My life is crazy.”
“So is mine.”
“It’s complicated.” It was a lame excuse, but the best she could muster while still reeling from their kiss.
“We’ll figure it out.” His face was serious, his voice earnest, and his hand on her waist was sending little shock waves of desire zinging through her. “Lizzie, I’ve wanted to go out with you for a year. How can you say no after that kiss? I know you felt the same fury of emotions that I did. I could feel it in the way you kissed me.”
Fury of emotions? She’d never felt such fierce desire, been so completely lost in a man. She pried his fingers from her waist and forced the words from her lungs. “We should fix the oven.”
“There’s a reason I didn’t stop asking you out.” His tone was gentle, but his words were confident. “I knew we should be together, and after that kiss, I’m sure of it. I’m not walking away from you, Lizzie.”
“I’m not asking you to walk away. Just…We can’t do that.”
His brows furrowed. “So, you aren’t asking me to walk away? You’ll go out with me again?”
“This wasn’t a date.” I’m so messed up. Fantasizing was totally not going to cut it after that kiss.
“Right.” He smiled. “Go out with me tomorrow.”
“Blue…”
He took a step back and held his palms up in surrender. She instantly missed the heat of them on her skin.
“As friends,” he said. “Go out with me tomorrow as friends.”
She still had to edit her webcast. She should have had it done already, but she’d wasted all evening. No, I didn’t waste a second of it. She’d be up all night editing, and then she’d be exhausted Saturday. She definitely should not agree to go out with Blue.
She shouldn’t say yes. She shouldn’t smile. Why was she smiling? Why was she touching his arm? Geez! What was wrong with her? She tried to pull her hand away from his muscular forearm, but his skin was warm, his muscles hard, and his seductive eyes were stealing her ability to think straight again.
Oh, the heck with it. One more outing. As friends. She could do this, couldn’t she?
“Okay.”