Chapter Thirty
LIZZIE TRIED NOT to let the fact that she’d just walked out on what was probably the most important meeting she’d ever have ruin the afternoon, despite the disappointment she felt settling into her bones.
“What happened?” Blue asked quietly.
“They said that there was no show without me, so I took Duke’s advice, thanked them, and walked out with my head held high.” She swallowed past the itch of regret crawling up her throat.
“Aw, babe. I’m so sorry, but you know what? Forget them.” Blue pulled her into another hug. “That’s right. You’re awesome on your own. You don’t need them to do a darn thing for you.”
Duke pulled her into a warm embrace. “He’s right, Lizzie. You did the right thing. You left with your dignity intact, and believe it or not, you have a leg up. They’re probably sitting up there wondering what they did wrong.”
“Hey, isn’t someone going to introduce us?” Cash asked.
From the photos in Blue’s house, Lizzie recognized the strappingly handsome dirty-blond haired man as Blue’s brother Cash, and there was no mistaking Jeremy as a Ryder with the same strong features as the others. She’d seen Susan’s blog, but heck if she wasn’t twice as beautiful in person. The entire group—the three Ryder men and Susan—were all warm smiles and open arms, making them even more attractive.
“Men.” Susan embraced Lizzie. “I’m Susan, and I’m so glad to meet you. It’s about time another Ryder man gets off the bachelor roster.”
“What is it about everyone wanting us to settle down? Just because Jeremy bit the bullet doesn’t mean the rest of us have to,” Duke said with a smile that told Lizzie he was teasing. “Why don’t you give Jeremy’s siblings a hard time?”
“Because Trey, Drew, and Isabel are so busy, they have no plans of settling down anytime soon,” Jeremy explained. “Hi, Lizzie. I’m Jeremy.” He embraced Lizzie and said, “Blue’s a great guy. I’m happy for you both.”
That took the edge off a little.
“Welcome to the chaos,” Cash said as he drew Lizzie into a warm hug. His brothers and Susan were so friendly and welcoming that she was instantly comfortable among the close-knit group. “I take it your meeting didn’t go as well as you’d hoped?”
Lizzie’s eyes shot to Blue, wondering if Cash, Jeremy, or Susan knew about her webcast. Blue shook his head, and she was thankful that they were so in tune with each other that he knew exactly what was worrying her.
“Not exactly, but it’s not a big deal.” As the words left her lips and Blue laced his fingers with hers, she felt another wave of disappointment wash over her. She hadn’t realized how badly she’d wanted this deal to go through. She’d already been dreaming of the extra time she and Blue would have together without the stress of filming, editing, and managing the entire Naked Baker program.
Thankfully, Susan looped her arm in Lizzie’s and stuck to her like glue, asking a host of questions about her and Blue and taking the subject off the failed meeting. The drive to Blue’s parents’ house was full of laughter as the men talked about work and volleyed teasing barbs at one another, while Susan and Lizzie became fast friends, talking about Jeremy and Blue and what it was like to live in New York.
Blue’s parents lived just outside the city on several wooded acres. By the time they reached their house, Lizzie knew all about Susan and Jeremy’s families and their impending wedding. She also learned that Jeremy had lost his mother to cancer when he was a teenager, and Blue’s mom had been stepping in to help ever since, which was why she had helped plan the wedding.
“It’s kismet,” Susan said as they walked up the sidewalk toward Blue’s parents’ two-story colonial. “You and Blue are supposed to be together, and we were all supposed to meet.”
Jeremy leaned down and kissed the top of Susan’s head. “That’s my fiancée. The social connector.”
Blue draped an arm over Lizzie’s shoulder as his parents came out the front door. He whispered to Lizzie, “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want to go somewhere to talk before hanging out with everyone?”
She loved that he was so thoughtful, but after chatting with Susan and being surrounded by such happy banter, she already felt much better. “You really do care about me, don’t you? You’re seeing your family for the first time in months and I’m still the first thing on your mind.”
“Did you ever doubt it?” He pressed his lips to hers, and the heat their kisses always brought filled her from head to toe.
“Not for one second,” she said. “Everyone has been so nice and easy to talk to. I think the distraction is helping, but thank you for offering.” Her stomach fluttered nervously at the sight of his parents, although as they stepped from the porch hand in hand, their friendly smiles had a calming effect.
His mother’s shoulder-length hair was the same dirty-blond shade as Cash’s, and behind her amber-framed glasses, Lizzie noticed that she shared his warm brown eyes, too. His father, also wearing glasses, had dark hair like Blue, peppered with gray, and surprisingly, he sported a silver soul patch, which gave him a younger, edgier look than Lizzie had expected. He was a big man, like his sons, well over six feet tall, with a broad chest, and she noticed as he made a beeline for Blue and pulled him into a hug that he also shared his sons’ confident gait and warm blue eyes.
“I’ve missed you, son.” His father’s voice was deeper than Blue’s and filled with emotion as he hugged his son longer than Lizzie had ever been hugged in her entire life by her own father.
“Baby,” Blue’s mother said. “Oh, honey, I have missed you so much.” She held his shoulders as she searched his eyes with an inquisitive gaze. “You look happy.”
Blue smiled at Lizzie. “More than happy, Mom. And it’s all thanks to Lizzie. Lizzie, this is my mom, Andrea, and my dad, Ned.”
“Hi. It’s nice to meet you,” Lizzie said.
“We greet with hugs,” Andrea said, opening her arms. Lizzie stepped in and was surprised how comfortable and natural it felt to be in his mother’s arms and how different his parents’ greeting was from that of her own parents. “Welcome to our home.”
“Step on in here, young lady,” Ned said, arms open wide. He hugged her with a firm embrace, just like Cash and Duke had.
Blue stayed close to her, keeping one hand on her lower back, as their parents hugged each of the others and then they went inside. If love and family had a scent, it enveloped her the moment she walked into their house. The house was decorated in earthy tones, and not only were family photos hung on nearly every wall they passed, but she could feel the importance of family all around her. Jackets were hung on hooks in the foyer rather than neatly tucked away. A pair of slippers was tucked on the first riser of the staircase, giving the house a lived-in feel, which she found herself wondering over. What would it be like to be part of this warm and inviting family?
There was a framed picture of Susan at a big blogger event, and she wasn’t even officially part of the family yet. Photos of Blue standing before his house at the Cape, the landscaping out front newly planted and a proud grin on his lips, were hung beside pictures of Ned and Andrea and Blue’s other siblings.
As they walked into the living room, Lizzie noticed more pictures of the boys caught midlaugh or wrestling in the yard. Pictures of Trish gazing adoringly up at Blue and Duke, or arm in arm with her father or mother. In one photo Cash had his younger brother Jake in a headlock and was grinning ear to ear. There was so much love in their eyes, and the way they touched and held each other, the laughter that was evident in so many of the pictures, made it easy to feel the positive energy of the family radiating from every single picture.
“Let’s sit in the living room and chat a bit,” his mother said.
Blue’s parents sat beside each other on the couch, and the minute they sat down Ned reached for Andrea’s hand. Lizzie loved that they were so openly affectionate, which was so different from her own parents. Even in the short while she’d been in their presence, it underscored what she already knew in her heart. She wanted to have that kind of relationship and she wanted to have the same kind of welcoming home that they did. She glanced at Blue, who was laughing about something Cash had said, and her heart felt full. She wanted those things with Blue.
Jeremy and Susan settled onto a love seat, and Susan tucked her feet up beside her, resting her head lovingly on Jeremy’s shoulder. Duke sat on the arm of the couch where his parents and Cash were sitting, and Lizzie and Blue sat together on another sofa. A thick shag throw rug covered hardwood floors, and though the room was large, with a high ceiling, built-in bookcases, and a set of French doors overlooking a gorgeous yard, it felt cozy. She knew that had nothing to do with the size of the room and everything to do with the people in it.
They talked about the flight from the Cape and her flower business, and Lizzie noticed that Jeremy and Susan were touching and whispering the whole time. Every so often Lizzie caught Blue’s mother smiling at the sight of them, and when she did, Ned squeezed her hand with a loving look in his eyes.
She couldn’t imagine her father being nearly as comfortable—if at all—if she and Blue were to be so openly affectionate. Because of that, she was keeping a little distance between them—and Blue was doing his best to keep her from doing so, drawing her closer every time she inched away.
“Lizzie, I understand that you were here for a business meeting. I hope it went well,” Andrea said as Duke took a seat beside his father. Ned reached an arm across the back of the couch, and Duke moved closer to him.
Lizzie couldn’t look away from the two men with their heads leaned toward each other as they talked quietly, Ned’s grown son tucked safely beneath his arm. She longed for the closeness Blue’s family clearly came by naturally. In this house, with love in every corner, somehow the failed meeting no longer felt very important.
She realized that Andrea was waiting for her answer and finally said, “It didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, but that’s okay. It was a pipe dream.”
Blue kissed her temple. “You didn’t need them, babe.”
“Was it a meeting for your flower business? Are you thinking of branching out?” Ned asked.
Lizzie’s stomach clenched. She really didn’t want to lie to his parents, but after coming clean to her parents and dealing with the aftermath of her father’s reaction, she didn’t want to take the chance of inciting the same type of reaction the first time she met Blue’s family, even though they seemed so accepting.
Blue came to her rescue. “It was for a baking show she has online.”
He always knew just what to say or do. His answer sounded simple enough without being a lie, but now she felt like she was making him cover for her, and that didn’t feel good either.
“Well, I’m sorry it didn’t go well, but I’m glad you came to New York. The wedding will be so busy, I wouldn’t have time to get to know you there.” His mother stood, and Ned held on to her hand. “Would anyone like a drink? I’m going to get some lemonade from the kitchen.”
“Susan?” Jeremy asked.
“I am kind of thirsty, but I’ll get it.” Susan rose to her feet, and Jeremy pulled her down for a quick kiss. Again, Andrea’s smile warmed at the sight. “Do you want one, Jer?”
“No thanks,” he answered. “I’ll grab a beer with the guys in a little bit.”
“Babe?” Blue asked Lizzie.
“I think I’ll join your mom and get a drink.” Blue smiled as Lizzie rose to her feet. “Would you like something?”
“Just you.” He stood and nuzzled against her neck. She felt her cheeks flush, and his mother laughed softly.
“Oh, it is nice to see my son so happy.” Andrea glanced at Duke. “Now, if we could only find the right woman for our eldest bachelor.”
Duke scoffed. “You have four other children you can harass, Mom.”
“Oh, please. One day Gage will open himself up to a real relationship again.” She leaned down and kissed Duke’s forehead. “You know Trish is planning on taking some time off soon. I think she’s starting to think about settling down. Cash is so busy, I have no idea how, or if, he finds time for women, and Jake? Well, a mother can always hope, but that boy is always looking for the next adventure. I don’t know if he’s ever going to truly settle down.”
“And that’s okay, too,” his father added. “Not everyone has to get married, even if we think there’s no greater happiness than finding the one person who makes every day brighter and more meaningful.”
Lizzie could hardly believe the conversation unraveling before her. Her father zipped up at the thought of his daughters having boyfriends.
Susan looped her arm in Lizzie’s, then she took Andrea’s hand and said, “Girl time. Yay. I wish Trish and Isabel were here.”
They went into the kitchen, and Lizzie felt warm and fuzzy inside as she helped fill glasses with lemonade.
Andrea touched her shoulder. “I’m glad you came in to chat with us.”
“The guys will talk about sports and work,” Susan added. “Lemonade is our code for girl talk.”
“Oh, I like the way you think.” Lizzie followed them out to the back porch, where they each sank into rocking chairs overlooking the yard. The house sat on the top of a gentle slope, giving them a beautiful view of acres of woods and the sun setting just beyond. The air was crisp and woodsy, with an undercurrent of pine and happiness.
“Are you nervous about your wedding?” Lizzie asked.
Susan laughed. “I wish. That would make me more normal, wouldn’t it? But while I have a knack for fashion, I am so bad at preparing for anything that I don’t really get nervous about events anymore. With blogging, things that come spur-of-the moment always come across the most natural, and if I worry about what I’m writing, I almost always mess up. Besides, thankfully, Jeremy and Andrea planned almost the whole wedding, with my mom, of course.” She reached out and squeezed Andrea’s hand. “As long as I know I’m marrying the man I love, that’s all I care about. I know the wedding will be beautiful.”
“You didn’t mind?” The words slipped out before she could stop them. “No offense, Andrea, but doesn’t every bride want to plan her own wedding?”
“Not our Susan. She was glad to hand everything over other than her dress and the bridesmaid gowns. She even let Jeremy decide what colors he wanted for the suit. And Jeremy, well, he’s such a planner. He always has been, like my Cash. Those boys have always been prepared for anything.
“He would have driven me crazy watching over my shoulder anyway,” Susan added with a raise of her brows. “We make a perfect pair. He’s prepared and I need him to be. But enough about our wedding. I want to hear about you and Blue. Are you two serious?”
Lizzie was surprised that such a successful fashion blogger wouldn’t be more worried about her wedding. But then again, Susan was so laid-back that she wasn’t having an extravagant wedding. They were having a small wedding with just family and close friends at one of Duke’s hotels.
She felt the urge to gush about Blue, to tell them how much she loved him and how he’d stuck by her without being afraid to tell her his true feelings about the Naked Baker, but that would mean she’d have to come totally clean with them about the program. And the thought of that made her stomach hurt.
Instead, she said, “Yes, we’re pretty serious.”
Andrea sipped her lemonade and ran her finger around the rim of her glass as she spoke. “Let me tell you about my Blue. You know how some kids are always on the go? Jake was like that. He was always taking off into the woods or with friends. Trish was a social butterfly, the only girl, you know. Duke, Gage, and Cash have always been more serious, but Blue? Blue was the boy who brought home stray dogs to take care of, and birds, and bunnies. He’s always been guided by his heart, and part of that has always been taking care of those he loved. He built a fort for Jake over spring break one year when he was in middle school. Got up every morning and spent hours in the woods. We didn’t really know what he was up to, but he’d march out there with his toolbox at the break of day and come back at dinnertime, dirty and grinning like he’d just stolen the cookie jar. He told us afterward that he worried that if Jake got caught in the rain, he might need shelter.” She smiled at Lizzie.
“Little did he know that Jake would grow up to be one of the best search and rescue guys on the East Coast—and a heck of a survivalist. But that was Blue. He put his heart and soul into everything he did, and usually it was for others. He’d work with his dad in the yard or help him fix the car or the roof. He always wanted to have his hands on something. When Trish was upset over some boy, he’d distract her, take her out, cheer her up.” She lifted her eyes to Lizzie again. “It’s wonderful to see him open up to you, Lizzie. He’s such a giver, and, well, he’d closed his heart off for so long that I worried about him. I wasn’t sure if he’d ever really let anyone in again.”
Lizzie couldn’t help but say, “He’s the most generous and loving man I know.” In that moment of opening up, she realized that she wanted to be completely honest with them. She and Blue were in love, and she allowed herself to imagine a future with him, a family, a life without the Naked Baker, even if that was two years away. She didn’t want to have any more secrets in their closets. She tried to push her insecurities aside, but she wasn’t quite there yet. Instead she said, “I’ve never met a man who is so open with his feelings.”
“Oh, that’s a Ryder thing. It took some time with Jeremy,” Susan said with a shake of her head, “but he came around. Jeremy had this harsh professional edge when I met him, but underneath, he was soft and squishy.”
Andrea laughed. “I don’t think anyone else in the world would call Jeremy soft and squishy.”
Lizzie’s heart was beating so fast she almost backed down from exposing her secret, but she felt close with these women already, and if she had any hopes of a future with Blue and a good relationship with his family, she knew she had to be honest.
“I have something I want to share with you, but it’s a little embarrassing. I won’t be upset if it makes you think less of me, but I want to be honest with the two of you. With your whole family, really, but…”
Andrea’s brows knitted together. She reached for Lizzie’s hand. “Honey, you look like whatever this is, it’s really weighing heavily on you. We aren’t a judgmental bunch, but if you aren’t comfortable sharing, then please don’t feel pressure to.”
Lizzie was thankful for her understanding, but she’d hidden enough, and now she was causing Blue to hide something from his family. She knew Duke was keeping her secret, too, and she didn’t want that.
“Thank you, but I want to tell you.” She told them about the Naked Baker program, explained how it had come about and all the way up to her father’s reaction and the meeting with FCN. When she was done, she felt free. Free and ashamed, and she lowered her eyes to her lap and waited for judgment to claim her, because really, how could they not judge her?
She was nearly drawn to tears when Susan walked over and hugged her. “You have one lucky little sister, and shame on your father. I think Andrea and I should have a talk with him.”
“You are a resourceful woman, aren’t you,” Andrea said. “Why on earth would that embarrass you?”
Lizzie blinked up at them, trying to swallow past the lump in her throat. “Did I not mention that I wear an apron and heels and act seductive?” She was sure she’d mentioned every detail, but now she wondered if she’d only said it in her head.
“Sure you did,” Andrea answered. “But you also said that the viewers can’t see your private parts, so what’s the harm in that?”
“I sometimes wear lingerie for my blog,” Susan said with a smile. “It’s all the same. I seduce the camera no matter what I’m wearing, and Jeremy had a heck of a time with that at first. Hey, it’s all part of the job. How did Blue react?”
With his mother’s eyes on her, Lizzie answered honestly. “He was a little hurt that I didn’t tell him before we became close, and he doesn’t love the idea of men watching me, but he came around pretty quickly. I don’t blame him, though. I should have told him before we got too close, and I know it’s a lot for a guy to accept.”
“All guys are like that,” Susan said, lowering her voice. “Jeremy wanted to know who was taking the lingerie pictures of me for my site.” She smiled. “He was so cute.”
“Lizzie, I’m sorry about your father’s reaction. Have you tried talking to him one-on-one?”
Lizzie couldn’t believe that Andrea was more concerned over her father’s reaction than the videos themselves. “He won’t speak to me.”
“That’s a shame, that he’d let something like this come between himself and someone he loves. I can’t imagine how hurt you must be.” She embraced Lizzie, and then a smile formed on her lips. “Don’t you worry, honey. Love is stronger than pride. Of that I am one hundred percent certain. Your father is probably having a little crisis of his own over this that has very little to do with you. Once your father realizes that this isn’t about him, he’ll come around.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“As parents, it’s very difficult not to evaluate everything your children do and wonder what other people will think or how it will reflect on you as the parent. That could be what your father is experiencing.”
“My father had a hard time with me posting scantily clad pictures at first,” Susan said. “He came around, though, so I’m sure yours will, too.”
“Really? That makes me feel a little better.”
“Give him time, honey,” Andrea said. “Stripping ourselves of our egos is a difficult thing to do.”
“Who’s stripping what?” Blue asked as he stepped out on the porch with his father and brothers in tow.
As Blue reached for Lizzie’s hand, she felt even more accepted and loved. No one would ever fill the space her father held, but between Blue’s love and the support of the others, she didn’t feel nearly as devastated as she had when she’d left her parents’ house.
“Miss me?” Blue whispered against her ear.
“How could I?” She already felt like part of his family’s inner circle. “I love you so much, even when you’re not here, you’re still with me.”