Chapter Twenty-Two
MADDY HADN’T STOPPED chatting since they left the university grounds, and Lizzie couldn’t get a word in edgewise. She hardly had the heart to interrupt her sister’s rant about the trials and tribulations of college life; after all, she agreed with them.
“I mean really, Lizzie. Where do these guys get off thinking that just because a girl goes to a party that she wants to sleep with someone? I like parties, but that doesn’t mean I’m there looking for a guy to hook up with.” Maddy shoved a Twizzler into her mouth and pushed her long, honey-colored hair from her shoulders. “All I want is to get my education, have fun with my girlfriends, and maybe meet a nice guy. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not opposed to sex in general, but…Are there nice guys out there? Are there guys who aren’t busy drinking and sleeping with every girl in sight?”
Lizzie laughed, but inside she was thinking, Yeah, there are. And I hope I haven’t lost the best of them.
“There are, Mad, but they may be hard to come by in college. Think of a hundred kids raised like us—no dating, nine-thirty curfew—all set free for the first time ever. Of course they’re going to be all over everything they possibly can get their hands on. They’re rebelling, and experiencing, and living life the way they haven’t been allowed to. But that doesn’t make them bad people.”
“Just horny people,” Maddy said with a laugh. “Geez, I’ve been talking this whole time. I’m sorry. I’m just so sick of it all, and the girls are just as bad, but I won’t go there.” Her eyes rolled over Lizzie like she could see the discomfort prickling her skin. “What’s up with you lately? How’s the shop?”
“The shop is great, but I do need to talk to you about something.”
“If it’s about my books, I got a job at the bookstore next semester. I’ll get a discount, and I hope to earn enough to pay for them myself.” Pride radiated from her sister’s hazel eyes. “See? You taught me well. I’m trying to pay my own way so Mom and Dad don’t have to stress about it and so you don’t have to keep shoveling your hard-earned money my way.”
“That’s kind of what I need to talk to you about. You know I don’t mind paying, right? And that Mom and Dad would if they could.”
Maddy grabbed another Twizzler from her purse and waved a dismissive hand, then pointed the long red candy at Lizzie. “I know you don’t mind, but I still feel bad.”
“Well, don’t.” Lizzie pulled off the highway at the exit for Brewster and drove toward their parents’ house. “Mad, I haven’t exactly been honest with you about where the money for your college is coming from.”
Maddy offered a Twizzler to Lizzie.
“No, thanks. Mom’s making dinner,” Lizzie said.
Maddy pulled a Snickers from her purse and waved it in front of Lizzie. “You know you want it.” She tore open the wrapper and handed the delicious chocolate to Lizzie.
“Gosh, I love you.” Lizzie bit off a hunk while Maddy nibbled at her licorice. “Did you hear what I said, Mad? I lied to you.”
“Uh-huh. But you never lie. You’re even more straitlaced than me.”
“Not really. It just seems that way.” She pulled over in the parking lot of their old elementary school and parked the car so she could give Maddy her full attention.
“Oh no, what are you going to tell me?” Maddy’s hands fell to her lap, a look of worry riddling her beautiful young face.
“It’s not that bad. Well, it is, maybe, but…here goes. When I was in college and Dad got sick, I had to pay my own way, too, and I ended up with loads of school loans. I saw myself working for minimum wage for the rest of my life and never realizing my dreams because of it, and so I found a way out. And that way out paid for my school loans, my flower shop, and now for your school, too.”
“Just tell me what it is, Lizzie. You sound like Mom when she’s dancing around something she doesn’t want to talk about.”
“I do a video webcast called the Naked Baker—but I’m not naked; I wear an apron—and it’s all monetized. I earn money from it to pay for your school.”
Maddy’s lips pressed into a firm line, and then she burst into laughter. She laughed so hard her head tipped back. “Oh my gosh, you had me there for a second. You? The Naked Baker? More like the Proper Baker.”
Her laughter was contagious, but it also irked Lizzie to know that everyone saw her as such a good girl. “Madison, I’m telling you the truth.”
Maddy whipped her head in Lizzie’s direction. “No, you’re definitely messing with me.”
Lizzie leveled her most serious big-sister stare at her.
Maddie gasped. “For real? Why? I thought you made enough money with the flower shop to help.”
Lizzie shook her head, shame burning her cheeks. She told Maddy the whole sordid story, and when she was done, they sat in silence for so long Lizzie felt sick to her stomach.
“Do you hate me?” she finally asked.
“Hate you? No. I just can’t believe you would do that. Not that there’s something wrong with it, but there kinda is.” Maddy’s gaze softened apologetically. “Do Mom and Dad know?”
Lizzie shook her head.
“Please don’t tell them. They can’t take this, Lizzie. I guess I’ve always known that you would do anything for me, and now that the initial shock has worn off, I get it. But they won’t be okay with this. Gosh, I can’t even picture you doing something like this. Mom and Dad will have a stroke.”
“Hey, I make a great blonde, and my legs aren’t bad.”
Maddy rolled her eyes. “You’re gorgeous all over, but…” She reached for Lizzie’s hand. “Thank you for doing all that, but maybe you shouldn’t do it anymore. I feel responsible. I am responsible. Oh no. This is my fault. I’ve turned my sister into an online ho!”
“Wow, Mad, don’t soften the blow or anything.” Lizzie looked out the window, caught between laughter and dismay.
“I didn’t mean that. I just…Lizzie, now that I know what you’re doing, I can’t keep taking your money.”
“You can and you will.” Lizzie started the car. “And I have to tell Mom and Dad. I can’t keep lying to everyone.”
“They won’t understand, and then I’ll be to blame for that, too.”
“Mad, I’m a grown-up. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me and my choices. No matter how Mom and Dad take it, it’s not your fault.”
An hour later, Lizzie wished she’d listened to Maddy’s advice. Her parents sat at either side of their dining room table with pained looks on their faces. Her mother’s trembling hand covered her mouth; her thin brows were pinched together, and her father scowled, his eyes flaming with disappointment.
“Dad, say something. Anything,” Lizzie pleaded.
“You’re not the girl I raised.” Vernon Barber pushed from the table, avoiding eye contact with Lizzie. He bent and kissed the top of Maddy’s head. “Madison, thank you for coming home for dinner.”
It might have been the condescending way he made the proclamation about her or the emotions of the last few days getting the better of her. Lizzie wasn’t sure what tipped her over the edge, but she threw her napkin on the table and pushed to her feet.
“I’m paying for the education you couldn’t afford. How about saying something like, Thank you. We may not think it’s the best way to go about it, but good job.”
“Lizzie!” Maddy snapped.
Lizzie had never raised her voice to their father before, and she knew she was skirting a dangerous line, but she was too angry to stop.
Her father waited until she was done, then silently left the room.
“Vernon,” their mother said in a harsh whisper. Margaret Barber watched her husband walk upstairs; then she picked up her fork and, without looking at Lizzie or Maddy, said, “Shall we finish our meal?”
Maddy gave Lizzie a stern look that clearly said, I told you so!
“Mom, I want to talk about this. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and Dad sooner.” Lizzie’s stomach ached, but it wasn’t sadness that had her pushing her mother to talk. It was anger. Anger at feeling like she’d needed to keep the whole darn thing a secret in the first place, anger for putting herself in this position. Anger at her father for walking away.
When her mother didn’t respond, she pushed harder. “Talk to me, please?” Lizzie pleaded.
Her mother placed her fork beside her plate and folded her hands in her lap. Her eyes were sad and confused at once, but there was no mistaking the sheen of love hovering above the other emotions. “Elizabeth, I know you did this for your sister. And before that, for yourself, but that doesn’t make it right.”
“It doesn’t make it wrong, either,” Madison said, surprising them all.
Their mother exhaled a long breath. “This will take your father some time to get over.”
“And you?” Lizzie asked, bracing herself with the table to keep from running from the room.
“You’re my daughter, and I love you.” Her mother reached for Lizzie’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “We all make mistakes. Some are just bigger than others.”
They finished dinner in silence, and before Lizzie and Madison left, their mother embraced them both and said, “This will just take some time,” to Lizzie.
When Lizzie dropped Maddy off at her dorm, Maddy hugged her tightly and said, “You’re the best sister I could ever have, and I love you and appreciate your ability to be a ho in private.”
Maddy had always been able to cheer Lizzie up, and after their tense dinner with their mother and being shunned by their father, she needed to remember why she was doing the show in the first place. And when it came to Maddy, she still felt like no concession was too big.