“Okay guys you have everything you need. If you have any questions give me a call.”

“Thanks, chef,” several voices called out as I made my way through the kitchen and into the dining room of the southwestern themed restaurant in Santa Fe where I was filling in for a few more weeks. The executive chef had broken his leg and when it became clear that he couldn’t run a kitchen with one leg, he’d relented and they’d called me.

“Have a good service, fellas.” I waved and went out into the bright, sunshiny New Mexico day. This place was beautiful and just what I needed after spending nineteen days in New York working alongside a former instructor of mine. The city had been as vibrant and nonstop as I remembered, but it hadn’t held quite the same appeal it had when I was twenty-one. When my time there had ended, I’d planned to go to California and work up and down the coast until I found a good fit, but the call had come in and I’d ended up in Atlanta and then New Mexico. Funky and artsy, eccentric and colorful New Mexico.

I liked it here. The city itself was laidback and everyone seemed nice, but it allowed for the anonymity of a larger city. Which was exactly what I needed at the moment because something was wrong with me and I couldn’t figure out what. At first, I chalked it up to being homesick. Heartsick. But it persisted and followed me from New York and down to Atlanta. Nausea, vomiting, a lack of focus and fatigue. I was so damn tired all the time and with my luck it would probably be cancer. So instead of going back to my crappy little suite at the extended stay hotel to relax, I hopped in my truck and headed to the nearest clinic. I stepped inside, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness in the near empty waiting room.

The receptionist flashed a friendly smile and kept silent until I approached the desk and asked to speak with a doctor. “I haven’t been myself lately and I’m worried something is wrong,” I told her and she slid me a clipboard filled with blank forms to be completed. I took a seat and answered every questions, hands trembling as I let out a shaky breath. I hated going to the doctor, for any reason. The news was rarely ever good and never cheap.

I needed to know what was wrong though, so I finished the paperwork, handed it to the perky receptionist and waited. Two women went to the back before my name was finally called, and with a long fortifying breath, I followed a nurse into one of the examination rooms.

An hour later I felt stunned. Numb. Overwhelmed. The good news was that I didn’t have cancer. At least I didn’t think I did because there was something else inside of me siphoning my energy and focus. A baby. I walked out of the clinic with several prescriptions for prenatal vitamins in my hand, a mild panic attack brewing in my gut and twenty thousand things going through my mind. Pregnant.

With Rex’s baby.

I stood on the corner of indecision and what is this fresh hell, staring at the sun and laughing like a crazy person. The universe was a cruel, cruel bitch and apparently, she was seeking her revenge on me. Not only had I harbored an ill-advised crush on the man who at one time had been my stepbrother since the day I’d set eyes on him, but I’d also gone and lost my virginity to him. And now, I was having his baby. I laughed and laughed, until my eyes began to water and my belly began to clutch from hunger and overexertion.

I’d gotten my childhood wish only weeks after finding out that Rex wasn’t the greatest man on the planet. He wasn’t even one of the good ones. He was cold and callous and gave no fucks about anyone or anything that wasn’t relevant to his world. I chose a spectacular baby daddy.

When my laughter died down, it was replaced with sorrow. Bone crushing sorrow that everything I’d worked for in my life had been pointless. I was pregnant, about seven weeks since the day Rex had shown me exactly the kind of man he was, and that meant I needed to get my shit together and fast.

I needed a new plan. A plan C and D, hell I needed to plan all the way to Z with the way things were shaping up around me. One step at a time, I told myself until it helped. Well, at least until I was calm enough to start moving my feet towards the parking garage where I left my car. On the way I stopped to refill the prescriptions and that just made everything feel real. Accepting the white bag containing several bottles of pills meant I’d already decided to have this baby.

And quickly on the heels of that realization came another. I wouldn’t tell Rex about the baby. He’d made his feelings on the matter clear, which meant returning to Cody wasn’t an option. Not a good one, anyway. And without Cody or the Cody House, my dreams of my own eatery were further away than ever before. No one outside Cody Savings & Loan would give me a line of credit, and clearly Dad had no faith in my abilities or he’d have let me use the house in the first place.

Which left me two viable options. Find a smaller city where I wouldn’t be worked off my feet every single night, or a small town eatery where the sidewalks rolled up around ten. A single mother had to put the child first, which meant my dream of a seven course weekends would remain nothing but an idea.

I spent the next week buried in work at Cactus, making sure lunch and dinner services ran smoothly and keeping the menu fresh, unique and authentic. I enjoyed it, the challenge of it all, but I also realized that I didn’t want to spend sixteen hours a day inside of a hot kitchen. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do it, not with a kid waiting for me to come home. Only me.

That remove several options from the list and I spent my second to last week in New Mexico researching small towns to see what options I had. The bad news was there weren’t many options, and I would have to find a way to supplement my income without neglecting my duties as a mom.

The best option was by no means ideal but it could provide steady work at a salary that would allow me to take care of the two of us. It’s just me and you kid. I put a hand to my belly as I sat in the office of Cactus and updated the spreadsheets for the food bought this morning for today’s specials.

I needed to let the plan sit a while. Marinate. In the meantime, I had to finish up paperwork so I could get home and clean up my suite. Casey was coming for a visit and I needed to hide all evidence of my pregnancy because my best friend was a bloodhound, capable of sniffing out even the mildest of secrets. She’d smell this one before she exited the plane.

One more secret.

The only saving grace was that eventually, the secret would reveal itself.

* * *

“My goodness Lena, I can’t tell if I should be jealous or worried with how incredible you look!” Casey held me close, examining me much closer than I felt comfortable with, but knowing if I pulled away she’d really know something was up. “Seriously your skin is practically glowing and you’ve dropped weight you didn’t need to lose, but you look tired.”

I shook my head and stepped back as her gaze scanned the small suite with a bedroom, living room, bathroom and small kitchenette. “Restaurant work is hot and hard, and let’s not forget the long hours.”

She pursed her lips, a clear sign she didn’t believe me, but let it go. For now. She would be here for a few days so I knew she wouldn’t forget about it altogether, even if I wished she would. “Right. So, what’s first?”

I grinned. “There’s this restaurant here I really wanted to check out but I didn’t want to go alone.”

“Fancy?” she asked with a beaming smile.

“French, so probably.”

“Let me change and then we can hit the road.” She grabbed her suitcase and opened it, plopping down on the floor in front of it and pulling out several pieces of clothing. She chose carefully and once she was locked in the bathroom, I changed into a long rainbow summer dress with a thick white shawl and ran my fingers through my hair. Santa Fe was pretty casual and I felt comfortable, which I would need for the duration of Casey’s visit.

The trip to the restaurant took no time and we were seated quickly. I scanned the menu because I always did, out of habit, but also to keep Casey from starting her interrogation. “What looks good?”

“You know what I like, choose anything,” she said easily, her gaze focused on me. “So, tell me everything. How have you been? Do you like the restaurant? Where are you going next?”

I sighed. “There’s not much to tell. I’m all right, the restaurant is fine and the staff is great. And I have no clue where I’m going next.” That part was causing me the most amount of stress. I had, at best, a week before the new chef was given a clean bill of health, which meant I should already have a job lined up. I didn’t. “I work a lot and by the time my shift is over, I hit the shower and crash until morning.”

Casey blinked. “But you don’t open until one,” she said, confusion lacing her concerned tone.

“Yes, but you have to hit the markets early to get the freshest food every morning. If you get there at eight, all the good stuff is gone.”

“Shit,” she said on a long breath. “That’s a long day.”

“It is,” I agreed easily.

“But there is something else going on, I can feel it. And don’t try giving me that ‘nothing’ crap when we both know it’s something. What’s wrong? Are you still sad about Rex?”

Casey was my best friend in the whole world. Had been since we were about eight years old and she moved to Cody with her dad. If there was anyone in the world I could talk to about this, it was her. But she had a mile-wide protective streak that didn’t give a damn about secrets when it came to the people she loved. So I had to be careful. Very, very careful. I took a deep breath and released it slowly as our eyes collided. “If I tell you this, I need you to promise on our friendship that you won’t say a word to anyone. Anyone, Case.” She nodded, but I really needed her to get it. “Casey, you can’t confront anyone, threaten or do anything that might make anyone guess or suspect what I am about to tell you. Under any circumstances.”

“But, what about-,”

I cut her off. “Any circumstances.”

She pouted, fire pulsing through her and then deflating out of her with a resigned nod. “Okay, fine.”

“I’m pregnant. I found out about a week or so ago.”

“Rex?”

I nodded. “Rex.”

I saw the outrage build up in her and then explode out. “You have to come home and make him do the right thing, Lena! That baby is his responsibility too!”

I just stared at her. “You promised.”

She sighed and sagged into her seat. “But-,”

“No. Buts. It is my business and mine alone, Casey. If I can’t trust you to keep it to yourself, tell me now.”

She sat quietly for a long time, staring and weighing her options, I guess. “Fine. I’ll keep my trap shut even if I think you’re wrong. But now we need to work on a new plan.”

I grinned, feeling my heart swell with love for my friend. “I have a few plans already.”

Her face brightened. “Any of them involve a small town in Wyoming?”

“They do, but I’m pretty sure it’s the worst option. And I have figure some stuff out first, Case. This is a mess.” It was really an understatement but the clock was ticking on my time in New Mexico and I needed to figure out my next move at least.

Casey and I spent her time in town enjoying a spa day before we checked out art for her trip back to Cody. We ate more than two single women should and we saw everything touristy there was to see before I dropped her at the airport with a long hug and a promise to call soon.

Once she was inside the airport, I pulled out my phone and pressed the call button. “Jared, it’s Lena. Can you talk?”