I watched her walking along the pier ahead of me, her ass swaying in the tight white jeans she wore. I couldn’t stop looking at it.

I had been trying not to think of her all last night and this morning, but the sight of her in those pants undid me. I couldn’t deny it a second longer. I wanted to be inside her. The lust had been building like a slow fire, and now it was just exploding around me. I could barely think of anything else.

I knew that it was inadvisable. I knew that it was unprofessional. I knew that it would only complicate the situation. But it was like my will had been completely taken out of it. I felt like one of those cartoon characters with their eyes on stalks and tongues rolling to the floor like red carpets every time she passed me, or I caught a whiff of her perfume.

It was just as well we were spending today with Bryce and his latest squeeze. I didn’t know if I could trust myself around her if we were by ourselves. And it was a stroke of luck that Lilah was spending the day with my parents.

“Hey!” I called out to her. “Wait up!” I ran so that I was alongside her.

“You’re in a hurry today,” I said.

She looked up at me, surprised. “Am I?” She laughed, nervously. “I sometimes go a little fast if I’m nervous.”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

“Really?” She glanced at me sharply. “This is your best friend we’re meeting today, isn’t it?”

“Sure is,” I said. “Bryce. We were at school together, have worked in the same finance firm for years. He’s practically a brother to me.”

“Well, he’s probably going to be pretty hard on me, then.”

“Why?”

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Her voice raised slightly. “I am your nanny. Which means I am below you on the so called social ladder. And let’s not forget that your wife just recently passed away. How can you not see that people close to you would be judging me?”

I hadn’t thought of it like that. I could see her point. Not that I thought anyone would be too judgmental with her; my family and friends were down to earth people. If anything, they would probably be judging me more than Amber. Shocked at how quickly I had moved on from Erin? Especially with the hot nanny.

I shook my head. “Amber, relax. No one’s judging you, and if they did, I’m sure you would be happy with the conclusions that they draw.” I stared at her. “You’re pretty awesome.” She blushed. I was just about to take her hand, when I heard a shout.

“Finn!”

There they were, running slightly to catch up with us. Good old Bryce, dressed in his casual yachting gear, as always. He was pulling along a woman who was definitely not dressed for yachting: tight black dress, black stilettos, and a fake fur coat, no less. This must be Bryce’s new girl, Mandy. Why wasn’t I surprised?

“Bryce, slow down,” she said, as he dragged her along.

“My man!” I grabbed Bryce in a bear hug. Then we turned, and introduced the ladies.

“Well, time to get on this yacht and get things moving!” I said, looking to the sky. “We don’t want the weather to change on us.”

An hour later we were heading out into Port Phillip Bay, the wind in our hair. Bryce and I were old hands at yachting, having been brought up with the sport. Well, it was the leisure choice of many with mansions at Portsea, and both my family and Bryce’s had been coming here forever.

Bryce and I were busy side by side, which was good. It gave me a chance to talk to him without the girls.

“So, how long have you been seeing Mandy?” I asked.

Bryce grinned. “We’ve been sleeping together for about a month. Thought I might take her out a bit, see if I thought there was anything more to it.” He shrugged.

“Typical Bryce,” I said. “Just another in a long line…?”

Bryce put his hands in the air as if to ward me off. “Hey, don’t blame me, buddy. You know I can’t resist women, never have been. I start to really get into one, and then I get distracted by another. It’s like toys when we were little. I could never resist the shinier and newer one that came along, you know?”

I smiled at Bryce. “I do know,” I said. “Erin and I used to always comment on the ever changing number of girls in your life. We used to laugh about it, say you had so many you could have lined them up on an escalator.” I looked at him. “It’s because you’ve never been in love, buddy.”

Bryce shrugged again. “You’re probably right,” he said. “But hang on a minute. Why are we talking about me? You’re the one that’s been the sly dog, panting after the nanny! So, you’re going to put a ring on her finger, are you?”

“Yes, I’m heading down the aisle again,” I said, a fake smile on my face. I could suddenly see what Amber meant. It was hard, not telling the truth to those you were closest too.

“You really think she can replace Erin?”

Bryce was looking at me. We might rib each other a lot, but we could always talk openly and honestly about what was happening in our lives.

“Yes.” I looked at him.

Was it true? I just didn’t know, anymore. I certainly liked being around her, and she set me on fire. The attraction was real.

“Yes, I think she can replace Erin,” I said. I had to say it, all the while mulling it over in my mind.

“That’s great, man,” Bryce was saying, slapping me on my back. “I was a bit worried, to tell the truth. About you, after Erin. I thought you’d never come out of your hole, burying yourself in work like you did. I’m glad. Can I be your best man again?”

I laughed. “Too soon to tell, mate,” I said. “We haven’t set a date, we were thinking of a long engagement. And who knows, we might just elope, make it about just the two of us.” As I said it, I was picturing being alone with Amber, running off to elope. The thought wasn’t entirely displeasing.

What on earth was happening to me?

I looked at her under the sails. Trying so hard to chat to Bryce’s girl, Mandy, even though I could tell they didn’t have much in common. Well, why would they? I thought to myself. Mandy was typical of the women Bryce pursued: blonde, buxom, but with not much chop in the brain department. A model, trying hard to become a trophy wife. Whereas Amber was as far removed from that cliché as you could imagine.

She had long, chestnut hair and a coltish figure, long, long legs. Willowy. And as sharp as a tack. I could see why she had been accepted into Harvard Law. She was a very bright woman. But all those things weren’t even the most important.

I thought of the way she was with Lilah, caring, inspiring, warm. You could tell a person’s real personality, the way that they interacted with children. Amber was genuine.

As we sailed over the grey waters, I started to grow more anxious. It had started out as a fake engagement, to get Erin’s parents off my back about Lilah. But could it be so much more?