Caleb

For a moment before Rae arrived I had doubts about Braden. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was really mine, but when I laid eyes on him as Rae placed him in my arms, all the doubt I harboured disappeared. He may have her hair and eyes but he definitely had my features. And now sitting here with him looking at the moon, even if it was broad daylight, it felt as if my heart was about to explode in my chest. He was such a bright little boy regardless of the sadness in his eyes.

I spent most of the day catching up with Braden, who told me the strangest story of his mother and sister, but I assumed it was his imagination running away with him so I simply played along. He spoke of them with such conviction that he could make me believe they were real.

Later that evening after he was settled down and was sleeping peacefully, I waited for Rae to join me for dinner. Naturally I had completely forgotten that I had a date with a friend and when the doorbell rang I cursed inwardly and rushed to do damage control.

“Hey handsome, you ready to go?” Joanne said as she sauntered into the house.

“Hey, I’m kind of in the middle of something, I had unexpected guests that arrived a little while ago, can we do this another time?” I asked uncomfortably.

“Oh please, no need to hide your guests from me, we can just stay in and order some dinner.”

She was relentless, and the only reason I kept her company was because she was hot. It was all about the ego if I was honest.

“It’s a little complicated, but I’ll call you tomorrow and explain everything,” I said modestly, walking her out the door.

“Caleb?” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Shit.

“Oh who’s that?” Joanne asked and peeked over my shoulder.

“No-one,” I said and took her by her arm.

“Caleb, Braden is awake and he’s looking for you…” Rae started and then grew silent.

“I’ll be right up,” I said as Joanne pushed past me.

Great! Just what I needed, I turned to Rae and stepped aside, “Rae, this is Joanne, Joanne, this is Rae, she’s here with her son for the weekend,” the daggers that shot from Rae’s eyes did not go unnoticed, and I quickly corrected myself, “I mean with our son, so I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”

The way Joanne raised her brows was nothing but arrogant and to top it off, she looked Rae up and down as if she was something that the cat dragged in. I’m not going to lie, but Joanne lacked the humble-factor. And right now, I just needed her gone.

By comparison Rae was everything Joanne wasn’t. She was beautiful in a natural kind of way, she didn’t plaster her face with makeup thick enough to scrape off with a spatula, and she was naturally shaped, unlike the overly thin women that hang out in the locker rooms waiting to bait the unsuspecting sport stars with their glamor and haughty attitudes. My chest tightened when Rae disappeared around the corner, but at the same time relief flooded me when Joanne spun around on her heels and stormed down the stairs back to her car. At least that settled it, I only had one woman to contend with at this point, and Joanne was hardly intimidating. In no time, she would be moving on to her next victim like a praying mantis and I’ll be nothing but a memory.

I found Rae outside at the pool when I finally conjured up the courage to talk to her.

“You didn’t have to walk away, Joanne was leaving anyway,” I said as I came to sit on the lounger next to her.

“It’s none of my business, you can entertain whoever you want, it’s your house,” she said laying back and closing her eyes.

“I know that,” I said trying not to let my irritation surface, “But if you haven’t noticed, I just found out I am a father; it’s a lot of information to process, so I didn’t feel like other company. Why after all these years did you only contact me now?”

She draped her arm over her eyes and sighed, “When you left to join the military I didn’t expect to see you again, I waited for a letter or a phone call every day, and when you didn’t contact me I closed that chapter of my life,”

Perhaps I could have made some effort, but still there was no excuse for her to keep the pregnancy from me, “I know I could have written but I was dealing with a lot of shit, you know that.”

“I do, and I was also dealing with a lot. I found out I was pregnant, Damien had no idea where you were stationed, and I had no way of contacting you. Time went by too quickly to figure out how to find you.”

“So why now?”

She sat up and looked at me; her eyes were glistening with tears.

“Braden is a troubled child. Damien and the psychologist suggested I contact you since it may help him get better,” she started to say and I felt the sting of disappointment linger at the realization that if circumstances were any different, I would still be oblivious to my own son’s existence. But Damien’s words to me reminded me to listen to her and instead of voicing my own opinion I rubbed my forehead and gave her time to continue.

She told me all about Braden and his past life regression, which explained the stories he told me. It was a strange one to say the least, how on earth was I going to help him with all that. She rambled on, finally telling me that the psychologist suggested that she introduces Braden to me since he lacks the much-needed father figure in his life.

“So let me get this straight, if he was normal, you would never have contacted me?”

“This is not about us Caleb, it’s about our son, he needs help, and the psychologist suggested I find you. We parted ways on bad terms a long time ago; surely you didn’t expect me to just fall over my feet to find you?”

“No I didn’t but I reckon a child is a pretty big thing,” I objected.

“You think I don’t know that? Love is a sham, you said, it’s something I can live without, you said, I never want kids, you said. Pray-tell what did you expect me to do with all that?”

I stood up and cracked my knuckles, how dare she hold that against me. I was bloody pissed that day when my dad decided to leave my mom for someone only five years older than me. Those words were said in anger.

“People say things in anger when they are hurt. You can’t be that ignorant that you would think I really meant what I said,” I said raising my voice just a fraction.

“Your silence spoke volumes, thank you very much,” she retorted and stood up shoving me out of the way, but as she stepped, she lost her footing and tumbled into the pool.

I didn’t think twice before I too jumped in, clothes and all. Instinctively I gathered her in my arms; knowing she had a phobia for water ever since her near drowning incident when she was only six. But instead of accepting my help she pushed at my chest and swam to the corner of the pool.

“I’m not an invalid, I can swim,” she spluttered and held unto the edge of the pool.

“Since when? The last time I recalled you hated water,” I said and swam towards her.

“I got over all that.”

I couldn’t help but find her little outburst adorable, and despite everything that had happened, I wanted her, right here right now. Not even the cold water in the pool could constrict the blood flow down south.

I slipped my arm around her waist turning her to face me. Her green eyes were wide and although uncertainty lingered behind the windows of her soul I could see that somewhere in that chaos was the affection I used to see when we were young and in love. Although I had no intentions of settling down soon, the fact remained, I still wanted her and as I dropped my head and captured her lips I let out an audible groan. To my disappointment it was short lived. At first she didn’t protest, she opened her lips and our tongues swept over each other’s but in a split second she pulled away and hastily lifted herself out of the pool and fled into the house, leaving a nothing but a watery trail behind her.

Maybe it was for the best; attempting anything more would just complicate matters. I had a comfortable life, a big enough bank balance to support her and Braden for the rest of their lives.

“Keep it simple,” I said to myself before lifting myself out of the pool.