Why wouldn’t Rex go away? Every morning for the past week he showed up at my cabin with breakfast—usually something disgustingly healthy but surprisingly delicious—and then every night he showed up with ice cream and a foot rub. Making it impossible to ignore him and damn near impossible to resist him.

Dammit.

Well resist his overtures because he hadn’t made a move, which was probably for the best. Even though I hated it. My body hated it because she was a little hussy overrun with hormones. Not me. And yeah, maybe she stood a little taller when her feet rested in his lap. Right against his groin. But that didn’t matter, because he wasn’t here for that. For me. He was here for the tiny little pea inside my belly, making tired and nauseous all day and night.

I needed to remember that. The baby was the reason for this complete change in personality. So whenever I found myself wanting to lean into him, inhale his earthy masculine scent or bloom under his protective embrace, I reminded myself. The baby. And honestly, I respected him for trying to mend our relationship now that he knew, even if it was hard to remember that sometimes.

But as I sat on my plush, if a little worn, sofa and stared into the fire, I realized that maybe this wasn’t all that abnormal. This must be how people interacted who had children but no romantic relationship. It had to be, so maybe I just needed to get used to the fact that it would always be awkward between us and move on from there. It didn’t matter that Rex was a jerk or that he’d hurt my feelings, and it certainly didn’t matter that he’d broken my heart because no one knew about it but me.

With him around so much, it hurt less each day and that was good enough for now. Maybe I felt so Zen about it all because I slept well last night even though it wasn’t nearly enough, or maybe it had to do with the fact that I’d only gotten sick once all day. Either way I felt energetic and hungry as I stood and pulled the lasagna from the oven, adding the final layer of cheese just as a knock sounded at the door. I knew who it was before I opened the door, because the atmosphere charged. My skin heated.

I pulled the door open and sighed. Damn but the man did things to a pair of jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. Or maybe I was just horny. “Rex. I didn’t think you were coming.”

“I had a delivery that took longer than I expected. Have you eaten yet, because I could-,”

“Come on in, I made lasagna.” I couldn’t say why I felt nervous, only that I did.

“Wow. Why?”

“Didn’t feel like total crap today. What’s in the bag?”

“Tiramisu.”

I groaned. “I’ll eat the top and you eat the lady fingers?”

He frowned. “The what?”

“The cookies layered throughout. They’re dunked in coffee or liqueur, or both.”

“Shit, I didn’t know,” he said, freezing in the middle of the hall.

“I didn’t think you did, unless you have a secret tiramisu making business I don’t know about.” With a shake of my hand, I motioned him to follow me. “We’ll just eat it creatively.”

He grunted or laughed, I couldn’t really tell. But I put the dessert in the fridge and offered him one of the beers he brought a few nights ago. “What’s going on, Lena?”

“What do you mean?”

He frowned and leaned against the counter. “You know damn well what I mean. It’s like a flip switched and suddenly you’re happy to see me.”

I laughed. “It’s called meeting you halfway.”

“Hmmm,” was his only response for a long time. His gaze was so hot and so heavy, it was like a caress all over my body. I turned and fled the kitchen, fled from the way he made me feel. “You don’t have to run away.”

“I’m not. But I stand all day and cherish my time off.” It was a little white lie for self-preservation.

“It’s okay if you still want me, Lena.”

“God, you are so arrogant!”

“Maybe, but I’m not wrong.” He sat down right beside me, close enough that his jeans brushed against my bare thighs. My breath caught he and grinned.

“So? Is that so surprising considering you are the only lover I’ve had, and probably will have for at least the next year?” I could tell by his expression that he hadn’t even thought of it. Typical male. “But if you’re offering, then today I’m taking you up on it.”

He blinked and then his gaze narrowed. “A revenge fuck?”

I laughed. “Revenge for what, Rex? I have no desire to seek revenge on you, I just want to come. To get off. Nothing more than a physical release.”

“Since when?” His clear blue eyes shone brilliantly, filled with curiosity.

I knew he wouldn’t like the answer, but I refused to lie to him. “Since you, Rex. Where else?”

Anger and sadness flashed quickly in his gold flecked blue eyes, but he shuttered his emotions and slowed his breathing. “I hate that Lena, but I want you too bad to give a damn right now.” Then he grabbed my face and slammed his mouth against mine, his day old stubble scraped deliciously against my cheeks, under my hands. He pulled back. “You sure?”

I nodded frantically, my body was already halfway there just from touching him, but to make sure he got the point, I climbed onto his lap and took over the kiss. He tasted of beer and dark chocolate and I couldn’t get enough, well my hormones couldn’t get enough. I was good, either way. “Absolutely,” I assured him as my hips began to grind and my tongue licked up the length of his neck. The slightly salty taste of him was like an aphrodisiac, making me burn even hotter for him.

I squeaked when he stood with me in his arms, hands grasping my ass. It was such a show of masculinity that I swear my body went up in flames instantly. “Too many clothes,” he grunted and released me until I slid down to the floor and stripped. Quickly. “Better,” he grunted, his voice deep and thick with desire.

“Yes,” I groaned when his mouth went to my breast, massaging and pinching, responding to my every sound. While his mouth made sweet, glorious love to my breasts, one finger plunged deep and I pulsed around him. “Rex, yes!”

“Yeah, you like that.” He sounded so damn satisfied, growling as he took the other nipple in his mouth and his fingers continued to push me closer and closer to the edge. “So fucking wet.”

“No more, Rex. I need you. Now.”

“Lena,” he began but I didn’t want to hear it.

“No, Rex.” I pushed up the hem of his shirt, revealing miles of golden muscles as I tasted every inch of his chest and abs before ripping his shirt from his body. “No more teasing.”

“But it’s so fun,” he said with a smile as I popped the button on his jeans and tugged the zipper down. My hand dipped inside and wrapped around his long, thick cock. “Lena,” he groaned but it wasn’t enough. I needed him to give me what I wanted, a hard and fast fuck. No softness. No tenderness. Nothing that could be confused with feelings. I gripped the side of his waistband and tugged them down, dropping to my knees in front of him and taking him in my mouth. “Ah, fuck!”

I smiled as I took him in, deeper and deeper, as deep as I could until he couldn’t stand it anymore and pulled away. “What?”

“Enough,” he barked out.

I stood and smiled, walking around him to the left side of the sofa where I put my hands flat on the arm and arched my back. “You want me? I’m right here. Waiting.” Just as I hoped, Rex was wild with need for me. He stood behind him, cock in one hand as he slid two fingers through my folds, testing my readiness. “Rex,” I moaned because his thick fingers pushed me closer to what I needed. Desperately.

Then I felt it, the blunt head of his cock slowly sinking inside of my body. Instantly I stood right on the edge, the moment he was buried deep, pulsing inside of me. “Ah, fuck you’re so damn tight, babe.”

I ignored the way my nipples beaded and my skin prickled at his words and arched my back, pushing against him. “Rex, move.” He gripped my hips with both hands, slamming into me hard and deep, a steady pace that drove me out of my mind. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, I could only feel all the amazing things he did to my body. From this angle I could feel everything, the way he filled me up and touched every part of me, sending sparks shooting off every inch of my sweat slicked skin. “Yes,” I moaned over and over, like a prayer on my lips.

The first little flutter of my orgasm began to pulse deep within me and it snapped something in Rex. He held me tighter and thrust deeper, harder and with more intensity than in any of other times together. “Lena,” he groaned, calling my name over and over on a breathless grunt and then I fell over the edge, shaking and vibrating as he continued to pump into me.

I felt like I was falling and not just over the edge of ecstasy, but right back in love with him. I couldn’t have that, so I squeezed my eyes shut and moved my hips, focused on nothing but our pleasure. “Lena,” he growled again, grabbing my breasts in his big hands, pinching my nipples as he slammed harder and harder into me. It felt so good, too damn good and another orgasm shot out of me and pulled Rex right along with me.

His body jerked and pulsed with orgasm, his lips leaving a trail of wet heat down the center of my back.

A marked woman.

* * *

I shouldn’t have slept with Rex. Again. I shouldn’t have had sex with him again. It was a bad idea even if it was the most incredible sex of my life. It had been mind-blowing, so satisfying that I would have gladly tied him to my bed and kept him there forever. It was that good. But I shouldn’t have done it. Not that first time against the couch and certainly not on the kitchen counter after the first serving of lasagna, where he’d brought me to orgasm with his mouth—twice—before he slid deep and fucked my brains out. But the last time, the last two times, in bed had been terrible. Amazing and life-altering and soul expanding. Which is why it was such a bad idea.

Too many hormones combined with all the endorphins sex with Rex produced had me thinking about things I had no business thinking about. Things that the fifteen year old me thought about like picket fences, Friday night football and date nights. Happy ever afters.

That stuff was for kids and I was a grown woman about to have a kid of my own. A future business owner and independent woman. Not a lovesick fool. Not anymore. So I was happy when I woke up the morning after all that sex had my brain being stupid and found him gone. But when he didn’t come for breakfast or dinner the next day and the day after that, I shrugged, brushed it off and got back to my regularly scheduled life which included whipping up healthy yet delicious meals for Jared’s health conscious customers.

I got up early yesterday and spent the morning in the kitchen, preparing for Jared’s two day hike with a group of five. They would be back tonight so I decided to lose myself in the kitchen yet again, whipping up some granola for Jared to taste test and dinner for six. Cooking dinner like this was therapeutic since I hadn’t made a meal like this since I came back to Cody. Meat and potatoes and vegetables, simple but so complex that everyone would clean their plates a come back for more. I wouldn’t say it was fulfilling exactly, but right now it was just what I needed. A job that I could do that paid well, and allowed me plenty of time to get my life in order.

I had all kinds of plans and spreadsheets for everything from table linens and flatware to ovens and even local culinary schools to recruit talent. As unsettled as I felt, being pregnant and my confusing feelings for Rex, I also felt ready. Ready to face what came next, ready to start scouting locations for my business, which of course couldn’t happen until after the baby arrived.

So a year from now. At least. And I was right back to feeling unsettled at the prospect of having to put it off for so long. But that couldn’t be changed so I left the roast and veggies roasting in the oven and took my salad and baked potato back to my cabin for lunch. I had a few ideas about a food truck and lunch delivery service I wanted to add to my spreadsheets so I could price them when I had time. My stomach growled in anticipation of the food as I pushed open the door and froze. “What are you doing inside my cabin?”

He leaned back, all gorgeous and smug with his legs crossed at the ankles, and a sexy smirk curling his lips. “I’m here to see you.”

“First of all, don’t ever come into my house without permission and second why do you need to see me?” He obviously hadn’t thought of me since…of course. “I’m not in the mood for sex.”

He blinked and his blue gaze darkened. “I’m not here for sex.”

“Then why are you here?” I set my food down, sending a wistful glance at my laptop, and dug into my lunch. I happily made my way through the salad with mustard poppy seed dressing before Rex said a word.

“I am more than the asshole you think I am. I am more than brooding and arrogant. I’m sorry I’m not the man you hoped I would be, but I’m not the man you think I am either. I am a businessman, a craftsman. A man, Lena.”

“Okay.” With my appetite returned, at least for today, I dug into the baked potato complete with broccoli and cheese. I could eat healthy for the baby, but I would enjoy it with a little bit of cheese.

“Okay? That’s all you have to say?”

It was all I would allow myself to say. My inner teenage girl wanted to believe every word he said, but the woman I was now knew better. Knew how easy it had been for Rex to discard me and my dreams. Like I was nothing. So, no matter how much I still wanted him, that didn’t matter. It couldn’t. “Yes.”

“Unbelievable. I came here, thinking we could talk like adults.”

I dropped my fork and glared at him. “Oh you showed up after two days of radio silence and expected me to be overjoyed that you now think you’re not an asshole. Excuse me, I’ll make sure I get it right next time.”

He laughed bitterly. “Don’t hold your breath sweetheart, I won’t be doing this shit again.”

I should have listened to my gut instinct and kept quiet. “Oh no, how will I ever live without another half-hearted…whatever that was.” I stood, more than eager to get out of the one place that was supposed to be just for me. “Don’t be here when I get back.”

“Dammit, Lena, stop!”

I stopped, damn him. But his voice was so damn deep and commanding, it was hard to disobey when your knees were pressed together to keep you standing upright. Being turned on and pissed off at the same time was a new sensation for me, but I kind of liked it. “What? What is this all about?”

“I’m trying to explain and all you have to say is ‘okay’,” he said, mocking my voice in the process.

“So? You want me to be happy that you now realize you can’t treat people any kind of way and have them still want to be around you? Okay.” I stood tall and made my eyes shine the way my smile beamed. “Oh, Rex! I’m so happy to hear you say that. Be still my beating heart!”

“Why am I even bothering with you?”

I shrugged, still completely stunned. “I have no clue, Rex.”

“Are you serious?” He raked both hands through his hair and let out a long, shaky breath. “You really don’t know?”

“I have some idea, Rex. You’re trying to make nice for the baby and I appreciate it, but I think as long as we can be polite, we’ll do all right.” That and the fact that I’d be living somewhere else and he would still be up on that damn mountain.

“No, dammit. That’s not good enough and this isn’t about the baby.” His long legs ate up the distance between us and he cupped my face, his rough thumbs scraping across my jaws. “It’s about you and it’s about me.”

I shook my head, but no words came out. There was no Rex and Lena, at least not outside of my diary.

“Yes, Lena. Shh,” his thumb prevented me from saying a word. “Listen.”

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, producing a low whistle as it passed his fingers. And nodded.

“I didn’t plan on you, Lena. How could I? We barely know each other, you were a child the last time I saw you and we were sort of related. Shit, and we might be again. But none of that matters because I want you. I can’t stop thinking about you and what we could have.”

We couldn’t have anything. “No. I don’t believe you, Rex. We had great sex together, really great even from my limited experience, but that’s all it was. Half the time I don’t even think you like me. And even if you do, what does it matter? I’m leaving Cody and you’ll never leave that mountain.” I turned to go to the bathroom just as the oven timer app sounded on my phone. “Shit. I have to go.” And I breezed out the door without saying another word. Without one look back.

Because Rex was saying all the words I wanted to hear. Even now, I wanted to hear them and to believe them even more, but I couldn’t let myself believe what I knew to be a lie. This was all about the baby zapping all of my energy as it grew inside of me.

Not me.

Rex didn’t want me, not really. But he would take me if it was the only way to get the baby.