Caleb

I shoved the empty glass over to the bar tender and around me the bar was buzzing with bikers from all over taking advantage of happy hour. Above me the television blared out loud, as always baseball or football, never rugby.

“How about changing the channel,” I asked the bartender above the noise.

“Watcha wanna watch?” he asked, leaning on the counter with his greasy elbow.

“Rugby,” I said blankly, hoping that it may be a much-needed distraction from the thoughts that haunted me.

“Naw man, no-one watches that backwards ball passing shit,” he said laughing and shook his head enough to make his double chin quiver like a blob of jelly.

Exactly the response I expected, these morons all lived under a rock of their own, each with shields on either side of their eyes. Talk about one track minded dumbasses. This dump was seriously starting to work on my nerves.

“Hey Caleb, wanna play a game of pool?”

It was Stinger, who called me over and under normal circumstances I would never turn down the challenge to beat him at pool, but it wasn’t going to help my predicament. I just couldn’t get Rae out of my mind.

“No I’m good, I’m going to head out anyway,” I said and stood up to put on my leather jacket, “I have an early morning tomorrow,” lame excuse, I know, but there wasn’t much else I could say.

On my way, out I greeted the guys from a bikers’ club that frequent the place and headed out. The cool night air was a total contrast to the musty dank smell of the bar. I took a moment just to breathe it in and chase away the smell of cigar smoke that clung to my nostrils. When I closed my eyes, an image of Rae popped into my head. She had the cutest button nose with a dust of freckles that shaded her nose and cheeks, which she hated, but I always told her that she had them because she was kissed by the sun. And she ever did cut her long silky red hair as she always threatened to do on hot summer days. For a moment, I could almost feel her hair threading through my fingers. I recalled the last night we spent together at her dorm room; I had to climb up the side of the dormitory to avoid being caught by the matron on duty. That night was imprinted in my mind forever. She had this cute blush that made her look all innocent while she slowly undressed. I was like a horny teenager then, she never got past her bra, I simply couldn’t wait to touch her, and boy did I touch her! She was like clay in a potter’s hand, and I was the potter, moulding her body with my hands and my lips.

I let out a groan and shook my head; these were careless memories that evoked nothing but pain and loss. I was about to get back on my bike when my phone vibrated in my pocket, it was a message from an unknown number, but the message was from no stranger.

Hey Caleb, it’s been a while, where are you these days? Rae

We’ll I’ll be damned, Damien must have given her my number, how else would she have gotten it? I read her text again, my thumb hovering over the reply button, but instead I locked my phone and shoved it back in my pocket. Do I reply to her or do I ignore the text? If I had to be outright honest with myself, there was no place in my world for a woman, not one I would settle down with anyway. My life was an easy cruise, I had everything I wanted. I played the game I loved; I got to go on road trips without anyone tying me down. I was pretty damn comfortable and the best part was that money was no problem. My father’s business was self-sustaining with board members running it expertly and all I had to do was show up at meetings and rake in the benefits of being the main shareholder. Besides that, I had Hayley, Stephanie, Joanne and Tracy the four hottest cheerleaders of our squad who were more than willing to be content with one night stands when the mood was right. What else could I possibly ask for?

By the time I got home my fingers were frozen and my face was numb, but in my pocket my phone was like a burning coal, reminding me of Rae’s text. I rushed inside, tore off my jacket and rolled my shoulders to relieve some tension. What was it with me, and why was she contacting me now after all these years, surely she wasn’t still looking for closure.

I looked at her text again and against my better judgement I hit reply.

Hey, I’m in Denver living the life, you? C.

I didn’t quite expect such a quick reply, but there it was.

I’m in Lafayette, we’re neighbours, fancy that!

I could hardly stand the suspense, there was more to this than idle chit chat, so instead of responding by text I called.

There was a slight delay in her answering her phone, and I was about to hang up when a tentative hello resonated on the other side.

“I hope you don’t mind me calling you,” I said and as lowered myself down on the sofa toeing my boots off.

“Oh no, not at all, it was a little unexpected, that’s all,” she said, she sounded different. Obviously four years down the line I couldn’t exactly expect her to sound the same, but I did notice that there was sadness in her tone.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course it is…” a suspended pause followed, “well, no. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“I gathered as much after Damien told me to call you, so what’s up?” I asked and for some reason the thought of her getting married popped up in my mind. I felt my mood change from indifference to annoyance. Why would her getting married affect me this way after all these years? I shifted and stuffed another cushion under my head. I had no reason to be upset in fact I should be happy for her.

“Caleb, I-I don’t know how to say this…” she started.

“You’re getting married, is that it?” I butted in.

“What? No!” she said in a high-pitched tone followed by a soft controlled sigh, “maybe this was a mistake, I need to go.”

Without as much as a goodbye she hung up and I stared blankly at my phone. I wanted to call her back but the uneasy feeling that settled in the pit of my stomach made me think twice. Instead of calling her back, I shoved my phone in my pocket and got on my bike again. Maybe she was right, it was a mistake and repeating history had the habit of stabbing you in the back. I much preferred to let sleeping dogs lie.