I sipped my first cup of coffee for the day as I leaned against the veranda railing, trying to arrange my scattered thoughts.

The kids had been up early, bursting with excitement. Well, it had finally come. Halloween. Bianca had done such a brilliant job at rousing their enthusiasm for the event. The excitement was almost on a par with Christmas, their birthdays and Easter. I shook my head in amazement, at all she had accomplished in such a short time.

The old house was decorated with cotton wool cobwebs and skeletons, hanging from every doorway. A huge jack o’ lantern, which she had carved the day before, took pride of place in the living room. I had seen her yesterday, going to all the men’s quarters, doling out lollies to them to give to the children when they came trick or treating.

The costumes she had made for them were fantastic. No detail had been missed. I had even seen a grudging smile on Mrs. Price’s face when she had seen them.

And tonight, of course, was the big party. George and Bianca had had their heads together for days, arranging it all. There was going to be special entertainment, but they wouldn’t reveal what it was. I was in the dark the same as everybody else.

I could hear her laughing, from the kitchen, at something Max had said. It was nothing short of astounding how she had turned the kids’ opinion of her around. I believed that they were starting to love her, even Max.

But what wasn’t to love? She was an amazing woman, that much was obvious. Smart, talented and full of life. A catch, as my mother would have said. A woman that any man in his right mind would be crazy to let slip through his fingers. Especially when that woman and man had such an electric sexual connection. She matched me, there was no other way to describe it. Even now, my heart started pounding at the thought of her naked, moaning, in my arms.

Why couldn’t I go to her, this minute, and tell her that? Get down on my knees, and plead for forgiveness. For having fucked up things between us. For having let her walk out that night, after we had made love, without trying to stop her. For not talking to her since then.

I knew what she was feeling. I saw the devastated look on her face, when she had seen the photo of Jo and I on our wedding day. She thought that I was still in love with Jo. But it was way more complicated than that. It was so complicated I didn’t even know the truth of it, anymore.

But one thing I did know was that it was time to let go. Of the past, of Jo, of our marriage. I had been hanging onto it without even realizing. I had told myself that I was over it, but it wasn’t true. A part of me had wanted to return to our marriage, for things to be how they were. Even while I knew that it was impossible, that it was never going to happen. The marriage had been over long before Jo had met Billy Baker. That had been a symptom of our problems, not the cause.

I watched Bianca through the kitchen window. She was so beautiful. Could I go to her now, and tell her? But she was busy with the children. Today was going to be madness. No, I would wait for tonight, at the party. I would find her alone, and tell her how I felt. What she meant to me.

Resolved, I took another sip of coffee. It wasn’t too late. I would make sure of it.

* * *

“What do you think, Daddy?”

Harper was at the door to my office, smiling at me. I smiled back. My own little fairy princess, complete with wings and wand. She did a little dance into the room, waving her wand above her head.

I clapped my hands. “Beautiful,” I told her. “The most beautiful fairy princess I have ever seen.”

Harper ran to me, jumping into my arms. I hugged her tightly.

“Daddy!”

Poppy wasn’t far behind, walking into the room. She made a perfect Alice, with pale blue dress, white apron and patent black shoes. A black bow in her golden hair completed her costume. She looked at me, smiling hesitantly.

“Well?” she asked, twirling around so that I could see the stiff white petticoat underneath her dress. “Do you like it, Daddy?”

I put Harper down, walking up to her. “You are going to entrance the Mad Hatter, wherever he is,” I said to her gravely. Her smile widened. She proffered her cheek for a kiss, which I supplied.

“So, where’s Captain Jack?” I asked them both. “Is he ready yet?”

“Almost,” said Harper, rolling her eyes. “Bianca is helping him. She said he had to have eyeliner on, just like Captain Jack does in the movie. Max said that only girls wear eyeliner!”

“But that’s not true, is it Daddy?” piped up Poppy. “I’ve seen Billy wear it as well, before he has a concert.” She nodded her head. “Sometimes Mummy would draw it on him.”

I froze, but only for a moment. It really was alright, I thought to myself, in wonder. I could listen to talk about Jo and Billy and not be consumed with anger, anymore. I had turned a corner. It felt good; liberating, even. I was free of it. And I knew the reason why: Bianca.

She walked into the room, now, followed by my son. Or Captain Jack Sparrow, to be precise. The costume was perfect. She had even made a dreadlock wig from black wool; had twisted them so perfectly you would never know they weren’t real. Was there any end to the talents of the woman?

“Thank you,” I said to her. It wasn’t enough, for everything that she had done for these children.

She blushed, refusing to meet my eye. “That’s okay,” she answered, looking at the kids.

I wanted to reach out, take her hand. Tell the kids that they should leave us. But I knew it wasn’t the time or the place. Bianca was just about to take them trick or treating around the station. The time would come, I told myself. Tonight.

I thought about my costume for the party. George had approached me more than a week ago, saying he would take care of it. I didn’t have any idea what he had got for me, only that it was in my room, hanging in a clothing bag. I hadn’t even peeked. Well, I had been a bit distracted lately.

“Have a great time,” I said to the kids, giving each of them a kiss.

“Kiss Bianca too Daddy,” said Poppy, laughing.

I looked at Bianca. She blushed, again, quickly looking at me before lowering her eyes. “No, no,” she said, shaking her head. “Come on, we should get moving! Halloween is starting!”

The kids rallied, gathering up their treat bags. I watched them as they left the room. She turned quickly, looking at me. I could see, then, how hurt she was.

I hated myself, in that moment. I didn’t want to be the man who let her down. How had it come to this?

* * *

The sun was setting when I finally closed my laptop for the day. I should start getting ready for this party. All afternoon I had heard people arriving, the temporary staff who I had hired for the evening. The party was due to kick off at seven.

I walked into my bedroom, unzipping the clothing bag hanging in my wardrobe. I frowned, staring at it. I had anticipated a mummy, or Count Dracula. Maybe even Marc Antony, again. But, no. George had selected a Victorian gentleman’s costume: long pants, blazer, top hat. Interesting.

There was a note attached. I pulled it off, opening it.

Mr. Connelly, it read. I hope you like my choice. Our theme for the party is going to be Victorian Gothic, so I thought you might like to be on trend with it! I thought it would be a good match for Bianca’s Victorian lady costume, as well.

Of course. The dress she had found in the attic, which had belonged to my great-great-grandmother, Florence. Bianca was very taken with her story. I had seen her reaction at the old house ruins, and the old graveyard. Bianca was one of those people who were very sensitive to the mood and history of a place. I loved that she was so responsive to Birrimba.

I smiled as I tore the plastic film off the costume. I could definitely play the gentleman lover to a lady. Especially if that lady was Bianca.