Caleb

I was ready as ever, adrenalin pumping through my veins as sweat dripped down my face. All we needed was one drop kick over the posts and we would win this game and walk away as the undefeated champions to win the Inaugural Season. I glanced at the clock –seventy eight minutes and counting. The ball came flying my way and I caught it mid-air, and without a second thought I drop kicked the ball and sent it sailing right between the goal posts. The sound of the crowds as they cheered was one of the best feelings any rugby player could ever experience. It was a sense of achievement.

The final whistle blew and the game was set with the Denver Stampede winning by 39 to 33 against the Ohio Aviators, it was a close one to say the least, but we did it.

After the game, instead of joining the guys for a night out to celebrate our victory, I headed home. Despite the excitement that still flowed through my veins I felt irritable and the text from Damien did not help at all. That was a part of my life I laid to rest a long time ago. Why on earth did he think I wanted to touch base with Rae? The last time I saw her was the day I left to do my civil duty for my country and I never looked back again. Surely she finally settled down with someone who was able to give her what her heart desired.

I gritted my teeth, fighting off the sudden ache that emitted from my chest, we had a good thing going, but we were still so young. And after my father decided that my mother wasn’t good enough for him and he hooked up with miss-priss, I realized then and there that love was nothing but a pain in the arse. It was an overrated emotion that just brought pain and disappointment. It was the one thing I would never forget. The look on my mother’s face when my dad arrived home with Leandra on his arm as if she was stuck to him like an appendage. If he could have his way he would have opted for a polygamous lifestyle, one where he could have multiple wives and father a multitude of children, but then again he didn’t care much for children. I knew that.

I dropped my duffel bag on the ground and went straight for the bourbon; I needed something strong to calm the anger that raged deep in my soul. I’ll sleep off this sudden annoying feeling and wake up in top form, ready for the ride up-country. My ass and fingers itched to get on my bike and just be one with it and be free.

I was about to settle down when my phone rang, it was Joanne a most welcome distraction at the best of times.

“Hey babe,” I said answering the phone and just as I thought she wanted to hook up again. The convenience of being in the national rugby squad was that women, more specifically cheer leaders would throw themselves at you shamelessly without expecting the strings that usually come as part and parcel of any relationship.

“I’m having an early night, but why don’t you come around over the weekend and we can head out to the club?”

There was an evident disappointment that lingered in her tone, and as much as I needed a distraction, I wasn’t really in the mood for company.

“Why don’t you send me a teaser, and I can keep it as a reminder of what to expect when I see you again,” I suggested with a smirk.

I didn’t need to do any convincing on my part, she was more than willing to share the occasional sneak peek that most men could only dream of seeing, but even though I asked for it, I knew it would do nothing to any part of my anatomy.

I finally killed the call after she tried again to convince me to see her and told her that I will only be back in town by the weekend.

* * *

The morning arrived with promise and regardless of my bourbon induced hangover I knew that once I was on my motorbike it would disappear instantly. A long hard ride would also silence my conscience that kept nagging me to call Rae. The past was just that – past tense – it had no place in my future. Past experience taught me that valuable lesson. The moment you allow the past to command your future you may as well kiss your ass goodbye.

I clicked the remote and the garage door slowly rolled open. There it stood in all its glory, my Harley Davidson, chrome polished frame and its complimentary blue and diamond ice finish. It was nothing short of a majestic piece of machinery that made me crave the open road. My leathers crunched against the leather seat and as I started her up she became an extension of my own body.

I finally hit the open road and opened the throttle, and as the wind whipped past me I could sense the different aromas as they passed me by. It was never the same, each time I rode my bike it was new smells and sounds that kept me alert. But unlike other times where it was just me and my bike, Rae’s face kept flashing in my mind’s eye.

That last day before I left for the military, there was a sadness in her eyes, it was as if she knew I was never coming back and although I didn’t explicitly tell her or break up with her, she sensed it. When I was out on detail, I received two letters from her and I never responded to either one. For days after her first letter to me, I contemplated the future, trying to figure out where she fitted into my life. By the time I got the second letter, I was elbow deep in desert sand fighting for a cause bigger than my own and time simply won. It was the time to let go, let go of the past so that I could work on my own uncertain future. I never intended on looking back, until now.