Five years earlier- Eighteen years old
“Dude, you look like shit.” I look across the lunch table where Sebastian is picking at his food and trying his best not to look like his world didn’t just end.
Lunch period is almost over, and all our other friends have already left the cafeteria to head to their next class. Meanwhile, Sebastian is still sitting in the same place having not actually eaten one thing on his plate.
“Well, then it reflects how I feel,” he grumbles, pushing the still full tray of food away from him as he leans back in his chair.
“Why don’t you just talk to her?” I ask, still not fully understanding why he recently ended things with his girlfriend, Tess.
Those two have been joined at the hip for nearly a year, and then all of sudden they’re over. And let me just tell you, he’s been an absolute fucking bear the last two weeks since everything went down.
“Why don’t you?” he bites, turning the tables on me and the fact that I too, recently broke up with my girlfriend, though my reasoning was completely different.
“I have nothing left to say to Courtney. Things weren’t going anywhere for us, I told her as much. But you and Tess, dude, you were a forever thing.”
I glance over my shoulder where Court, Tess, and Bree are currently grouped together, talking quietly amongst themselves. I hate that my gaze is immediately drawn to Bree, but I can’t help it. That girl has consumed my thoughts more over the last six months than I would ever admit to anyone.
“Forever,” Sebastian snorts, pulling my attention back to him. “Forever is a fucking long time for a girl I’ve only known a year.” I can tell even he doesn’t believe his words, but he says them anyway.
Typical Sebastian. Always putting on this front like he’s untouchable.
“Whatever, man. We both know you’re full of it right now. I get that some shit went down between the two of you, but you just need to man up and fucking face it. Or let it go and get the fuck over it because this shit is pathetic.”
I realize I’m being harsh, but Sebastian knows I just want what’s best for him. Lord knows I’m the only one who will just tell him like it fucking is.
“I’ve let it go.” He gives me an angry glare across the table. “Now can we please talk about something else?” He crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Did you tell her it was Bree?” It takes me a second to realize what he’s asking me.
“Did I tell her what was Bree?”
“The girl you have feelings for—does Courtney know you broke up with her because you have a thing for one of her best friends? Her very pregnant best friend.”
“What the hell are you talking about, man?” I try to play stupid, but clearly, I’m a hell of a lot more transparent than I realized.
“I’ve known you since we were in diapers. Do you really think I can’t tell when you’re digging someone?” He shakes his head at me. “So what’s your play?” he continues when I don’t comment.
“What do you mean?”
“You broke up with Court. Are you planning on moving in on Bree? I gotta say, man, I don’t think she’d go for it. Even if she is into you too, she’d never fuck with Court like that. You know those three are as close as friends can be. Not to mention, Bree’s about to pop with another man’s child. You don’t want to put yourself in the middle of that fucking mess.”
“I’m not moving in on anyone.” I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Then why end things with Courtney if you have no intentions of pursuing the girl you broke up with her for?”
“Because my heart wasn’t fucking in it, and I didn’t feel right stringing her along,” I grind out.
“You’ve been stringing her along for months, now you care?”
I try to swallow down the anger his statement boils in my chest, but I do a shit job of it.
“I haven’t been stringing her along, asshole,” I bite, even though deep down I know he’s right; even if that was never my intention.
“Kind of looks like you have.”
“I care about Courtney, and for a while, I was pretty into her. But I don’t know. There’s just something about Bree, this weird connection we have. The more time I spent with her, the less time I wanted to spend with Courtney.”
“You realize how fucked up that sounds, right?”
“Trust me, I do. But I never acted on anything. I never cheated on Court. I feel like I did right by her when I ended things. And no, before you ask, I’m not going to tell Bree how I feel. Besides, like you said, she’d never go for it anyway. Not to mention, I wouldn’t want to hurt Court like that. I don’t know, dude.” I blow out a loud breath. “I just need to get the fuck out of here.”
“Won’t be long now. Can you believe we have less than two weeks of school left?”
“Seems unreal,” I agree.
“I can’t fucking wait. The sooner I get out of this place, the sooner I don’t have to see Tess look at me the way she’s looking at me right now.” His gaze is once again focused across the room where the three girls sit.
“Dude, stop torturing yourself.”
“Yeah, easier said than done,” he grumbles, quickly standing.
I mirror his actions, following him across the cafeteria to dispose of our lunch trays before exiting the near empty room.
“Chin up, dude. Shit will get better.” I do a crap job at reassuring Sebastian, but if I’m being honest, all this shit makes me super uncomfortable.
I’m not much of a feelings dude. I mean, I have them, of course. I’ve just always been someone who keeps that kind of shit locked in deep. I’m not a cold-hearted asshole or anything. But I don’t do well in emotional situations. And Sebastian is all kinds of emotional right now which makes him pretty unbearable to be around.
“I hear you.” He gives me a quick nod before veering right toward his locker while I continue on straight to mine.
I no more than get my locker open before I hear Bree’s voice behind me.
“What the hell is wrong with your boy?” I turn to find her standing directly to my right, her arms crossed over her chest, resting on her very large pregnant belly.
“Your guess is as good as mine.” I shake my head, pulling out my Science and History books before shutting my locker and turning fully to face Bree.
“He’s an idiot if he lets her go.” She stretches out an arm, pointing down the hallway to no one in particular.
“I agree, but he’s stubborn as shit and there’s nothing I can do. I’ve tried talking to him. It doesn’t do me any good.”
“Well, try harder. Those two are meant to be. Everyone can see it.”
“I can’t try any harder. Sebastian’s made up his mind that it’s better to end things now before he leaves for LSU.” To this, she rolls her eyes.
“Bullshit.”
“Trust me, I agree. But he’s convinced he’s doing what’s best for her. Honestly, I think he’s fucking scared.”
“What would he be scared of? Those two have been head over heels for months? Why get cold feet now?”
“Because now it’s getting real. He’s leaving, and she’s staying.”
“I hate this.” She pouts out her bottom lip. “I hate seeing Tess like this. I’ve never seen her so down before. I can’t handle it.”
“I don’t like seeing Sebastian like this either. Especially when all he has to do is suck it up and just talk to her.”
“Seriously, she would take him back without a second thought.”
“I know. But as much as we would like to, we can’t control what they do. Either they will work it out or they won’t.”
“I can’t even entertain the possibility that they won’t work it out. Sebastian and Tess are forever.”
“A lot of things change, though. You don’t always know.”
“Stop being so pessimistic and let me have this.” She huffs.
“Yes, ma’am.” I chuckle when she throws me a sideways glare.
“And what about you?” she asks, walking next to me as I turn and head down the hallway.
“What about me?” I try my best to keep my eyes forward and not look at her. Weird shit happens to me when I look into those damn golden eyes.
“You have any plans to fix whatever the hell is going on with you and Courtney?” she asks straight out.
Just another thing I admire about this girl. She will tell you like it is without a moment’s hesitation. I hope that’s a quality she never loses.
“There’s nothing to fix.” I shake my head. “It was fun while it lasted, but I’m leaving for Boston soon and it wouldn’t have worked.”
“You expect me to believe that shit reasoning?” she questions, glaring at the side of my face.
“Well, that shit reasoning is the truth.” I finally look at her, and my God if she isn’t even more beautiful today than she was yesterday, pregnant belly and all.
“Men. You’re all assholes,” she grumbles.
“Hey, I thought we were friends.” I knock my hip gently against her.
“So did I. But then you go and break my best friend’s heart. Now I’m not sure I like you very much.”
“I didn’t break her heart. In fact, she seemed to take everything pretty well.”
“That’s just Court. You know she plays tough. You’re the asshole who hurt her, therefore you’re now the enemy.”
“Don’t be like that. You know you love me,” I tease, watching her trying to fight the smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.
“You’re infuriating,” she groans.
“Why’s that?”
“You know why,” she simply states, but doesn’t elaborate beyond that.
Even though Bree and Courtney are best friends, it doesn’t negate the friendship Bree and I have formed over the past few years. And while she gives me shit about Courtney, she’s been really good about keeping the two relationships separate from each other. Had I really hurt Courtney, like cheated on her, I know that wouldn’t be the case.
“Are you excited about Boston?” She changes subjects, and I’m thankful for the shift in conversation.
“I’m ready to get the hell out of here, that’s for sure,” I say, not even allowing myself to think how true that statement is.
“Yeah, me too,” she admits.
“California will be good for you. I think it will help to get away from Blake and all the bullshit that’s happened this year.”
“It will definitely be nice to not be looked at as the crazy slut anymore.”
“Hey.” I stop walking just feet from my Science class and gently pull her off to the side. “No one sees you like that.”
“Bullshit.” She lets out a sad laugh.
“Bree,” I object.
“I appreciate you trying to be my friend, Ant, I really do. But I know what people say about me. And honestly, they’re not completely wrong. I’m not proud of it, but I also can’t change it. At least in California I can be someone new, reinvent myself.”
“I think I might do a little reinventing while I’m at it as well.”
“Oh shut up.” She rolls her eyes at me. “Why would you want to reinvent yourself when you’re already Mr. Perfect.” She smacks my forearm playfully.
“Mr. Perfect, huh?” I tease. “See I knew you loved me,” I say with a wink.
“Ugh. On that note, I’ve gotta get to class.” She spins around to head in the opposite direction.
“It’s okay to admit it, Kingsley,” I call after her.
“I admit nothing,” she hollers back without turning around.
I laugh, waiting until she’s rounded the corner before finally turning and heading into class.