"You want to eat what again?" Edwin asked me with his jaw hanging off his face. He wasn’t the type to take jokes, and I wasn’t the kind to give them.
"I'm not joking. I bet it'd taste good," I said, smiling. But my body screamed for a chocolate hamburger with lots of pickles and mayonnaise.
I heard women say they had strange cravings for weird food like I did.
But now I wholly understood what they were talking about. I was lucky that the smell of the diner didn't turn me off, because I missed seeing my family. At least the ones I could sneak out to see. School filled up my day time hours, and so did Grant.
I trusted him not to hurt me, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to blur the lines and let him know too much about my family.
Not willingly at least. Plus, why did he have to know so much about me when I was going to be gone after I had the baby?
"So you want a chocolate hamburger with the works?" Edwin asked again, leaning in to hear my answer.
"Yes, now give it to me or else I'll die of starvation."
Alice butted in. "Just cook the nasty thing."
"Fine," Edwin sighed. "Gosh, you have the appetite of a pregnant--oh my god, are you pregnant?!"
Alice stopped stacking plates and turned around. The whole diner was listening now.
"Wait, is that why you've been so secretive lately?" she threw her hands on her hips and scooted over with Edwin, leaning on the counter.
"Um." I sheepishly glanced around the diner, some of the locals here knew my mother. Great. I just had to bring my pregnant ass appetite to the diner in front of everyone.
Why did Edwin and Alice always peice things together?
"Well, I don't know..."
"That's totally a yes. Who's the daddy?" Alice asked.
God, this wasn't the time for this conversation.
"Alice, I..."
The doors slammed open and in came Carmen, the crazy woman from about an hour ago. Did she follow me here?
"You!" I shouted. "What're you doing here?"
Carmen slouched on the doors and fell to her knees. She didn't look well.
I approached her with caution, Alice was behind me.
Edwin took the forefront and ran over to her.
"Damn, smells like alcohol. Hey lady, we can't have drunk people here. Do you have someone we can call?" he asked, trying to help her up.
I placed a hand on Edwin's shoulder. "We need to help her to a back table somewhere. I need to speak to her."
"What?"
"Trust me."
The diner resumed business as usual, people gave their orders and attention soon fell off of us.
"Ms. Carlissa, are you okay?" I asked, sitting across from her. I didn't know what to expect from her.
She wiped her forehead with some napkins Edwin gave her. I noticed he couldn't keep his eyes off of her either.
"I'm no good. You're a lucky girl, you know? It was like my mom said, I'd get nothing good," she managed to say without slurring. Her speech was slow and she slowly sipped on the cold water Edwin brought her.
"I give up. Go be happy, you little tramp."
I looked down at my lap. I got the memo. It caused a hollow heavy feeling in my chest.
No one should ever be told something like that by their own parents.
"That's not true," I said, reaching across the table to touch her hand. She dragged her eyes up to mine and a tear fell. "You're a sexy lady, and deep down inside, you can find someone. But you have to do it the right way."
She remained quiet and listened to what I had to say.
"You think so?"
"I know so!"
Carmen gave me a drunken chuckle and picked out an ice cube to chew on. “Then there’s something you ought to know. Grant’s been having you followed.”
“What? You mean to here?”
“Yeah, he thinks you might have a side lover. I may’ve told him that baby of yours wasn’t his.”
I slumped back into my seat. Great. This was what jealousy did to perfectly able bodied women.
“I’ll handle it then. You better put in the truth for me though.”
Carmen finished chewing on her ice cube and swirled her water around with her straw.
“If I can get anywhere near him. Maybe I’ll drop him a letter.”
“Please do so then. God, Carmen, you’re such a wreck.”
I got out of my seat and looked directly behind her. There was an older veteran who used to be a Navy Seal. He was retired now.
I introduced them and now they were sharing a table.
What a relief, I didn't have to worry about her anymore.
I returned back to the barstool where I could overlook the cooks. Edwin came back and leaned in.
"You hooked those two up together?" Edwin groaned.
"Oh please, she's older than you. Plus, I think someone like him would be up her alley. What happened to your last girlfriend?”
“Long story,” he sighed.
“We all have long stories these days, don’t we.”
"Well, that nasty burger of yours is almost done. We have chocolate syrup only, is that good enough?" he asked with his yuck face on.
"Yup, that will be just fine."
"You're really going through with this. So you're actually pregnant?" he asked with a much more hushed voice.
"You won't stop asking will you?" I rested my elbows on the table and chin in my hands. The baby bump was bound to come on sooner or later.
"No, are you or are you not."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm pregnant."
"Stacy!" he yelped.
I flailed my hands up. "Don't let the whole world know!" I scolded. He ran around the counter and gave me one of his bear hugs.
God, I was going to be crushed. "Hey, not so tight, bun in the oven over here," I said, coughing.
"Oops, sorry. I'm just so happy. I get to be an uncle."
The doors to the diner opened again. But instead of Carmen, who was chatting it up with Mr. Navy SEALs over there, it was my worst nightmare come true.
Grant.
"Oh no."
He made eye contact with me while my brother's arms were still draped around me. Bad timing, bad horrible timing.
"Grant," I squeaked out.
"Do you know him? Is that the father?" Edwin whispered to me. "He doesn't look too happy."
Grant stomped over and I tried to hop off the stool I was sitting on at the counter. The stools were all pushed together and being under my brother's arms wasn't helping.
"Who's this?" Grant growled, staring at Edwin.
"Name's Edwin, who are you?" Edwin said, standing in front fo me. Now the whole diner was focused on us again.
Way to go life, throw me more bull shit to deal with.
"None of your business," Grant said. There was venom behind each syllable.
"You two, wait."
"Stacy, who do you belong to?" Grant asked, trying his best not to blow a gasket.
Edwin was just as quick to blow a fuse too.
"She's not yours, I'll say that."
Oh that didn't help.
"Edwin, Grant. Please stop, the whole diner-"
"Stacy, please," Grant turned to me as if my brother weren't here, "tell me that baby belongs to me, and that you do too."
Alice was watching from the back.
I inhaled and exhaled.
"Grant, this is my older brother, Edwin."
The look that dropped onto his face was nothing less than hysterical. A few of the onlookers in the diner busted out into laughter.
What was this, a movie channel?
Needless to say that I wasn’t laughing. I was pissed. And pissed pregnant women weren’t funny.
"I wish you had told me this earlier," Grant said, backing up from Edwin. Edwin wasn't moving to give me room to get out of this stool.
"Edwin, excuse me," I said, tapping on his shoulder.
"Are you sure, Stacy?" he asked, being the protective older brother I always knew him to be.
"Yeah, I'm very sure." He worked hard alongside me to keep the family afloat. But it wasn't enough.
Bills kept piling on us, similar to how things were piling up right now.
Edwin scooted out the way and I got down from the stool and bolted out the door. The whole damn town didn't need to know my business.
"Stacy, where are you going?" Grant asked, following on my heels out of the diner. It was dark outside and a chilly wind whipped around us. I kept walking, trying to get this whirlwind of emotions out of me.
I came here for some solace. Now I had a huge shitfest to deal with. What would I say to my mother when Edwin tells her? What do I tell them?
"Away from that diner, away from you," I spat, keeping a brisk pace. The city streets weren't as clogged with cars as they used to be.
"How come you couldn't just tell me you were visiting family?" Grant was getting closer up against me. The scent of his body lingered around me, warning me of his descent.
"It was none of your business. I trusted you to take care of me, but I didn't want my family tied up in this too. Look what happened."
Grant rushed up and grasped my shoulder. When I met his eyes, I saw something I never quite saw in him before.
Sadness.
"Did you think I'd hurt them?" At first, yes, but after I got to know him and see him behind closed doors, I knew he wouldn't.
"I didn't want any possibilities of them to get hurt. You're rich, and I'm just the side piece to give you an heir."
"You still think that?" Grant slipped his hand off of my shoulder, his eyes still locked on mine.
"Yeah. You might be nice to me and cater to my needs, but did that really transfer over to love? Guys know how to fool us females really well."
"I don't want to fool you. I want to keep you," he said, bringing me closer to his body. God, the warmth of his body was tempting. But I had an important decision to make.
I stepped back from him. Distance was needed to see the scope of what was happening.
"So now I'm an object you can have now?"
"Stacy, you're taking this the wrong--"
"Then tell me, do you love me?"
Grant's mouth dropped open. He wanted to say it only to say it.
"You can't even lie. I can give you that at least."
"I do, I really do!"
I turned around to keep walking and waved my hand in the air. "It's off. The contract is off. You don't need to give me anything. When the kid's born you can have full custody. I only ask to know how they're doing once in a while."
Grant let me walk away. I didn’t need to see the look on his face. I only needed to walk. Somehow it’d work out, right? That was what I kept telling myself. I was in a good part of town luckily, and it was well lit, but I couldn’t sit here and roam around for ever.
A car pulled up to me and beeped. At first I thought it was Grant or some perverted freak. But when I looked closer, I saw Willow motion for me to get in.
"I should've known whose blue Bentley this was," I said, opening the car door. It opened up the opposite of other cars. Strange, but hey, some rich people had strange taste.
"Hey, Stacy, why are you walking out here alone like that?" Willow asked.
"You know me, I can be a loner sometimes."
Willow began to drive me back to my studio. I caught myself when I was about to tell her to take me to Grant's place.
There was no going back to that place. Only forward. Grant could raise a kid. They wouldn't have to worry about money or food.
A tear escaped my eye and I let out a small sniffle.
"Are you okay? Why are you crying, Stacy?" Willow pulled over and took out some napkins she had stashed around her car for her kids.
"No, I'm in such deep shit."
"What deep shit?" Willow asked, blotting my face.
"I agreed to have a baby with Grant Carter for seven hundred dollars and I just broke the contract."
"Wait, did I hear everything correctly?" she asked, her mouth wide open.
"Yes."
She shook her head and sighed. "Men these days. I'm so sorry, Stacy." Willow continued to blot my face and handed me more tissues.
"Don't be. This isn't your fault."
Willow scratched her head and looked out the side of her window. "Well, I kinda sent you there to work for him..."
I laughed. "You weren't sending me there to be a carrying case for his kid."
She frowned. "True. But…damn. Darien's going to be pissed."
"Don't tell him, Willow. I'm not going to get in the middle of friends. Plus, Grant treated me well."
"Then why is the contract broken? Are you pregnant?"
"Yeah, I'm a mommy alright. And I'm the one that broke the contract, not him. It was too much stress on my shoulders, it was crushing me."
Willow turned on the heat since the cold air began to chill the car.
"Are you in love?" Willow leaned back in her seat with a mellow smile on her face.
"Huh?" I dabbed my eyes with the tissue and wiped my nose.
Willow smiled. "Gotcha."
"Gotcha, what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
What did Willow know that I didn't?
"You're afraid of being in love with him, aren't you?"
"..."
I had to process that one for a second. Afraid of love?
It didn't occur to me that I thought that way. But then it began to make sense all on it's own.
"Willow, you remember where I live. Take me home, please. I need a good night's rest over all of this."
"No problem. Buckle up."
Willow patted my arm and we were off. My phone buzzed in my pocket a few times. I ignored it and closed my eyes.
What was there to be afraid of?