I was excited and nervous to go out with him. This was a date. It wasn’t like the dinner the other night, which I had asked for to discuss what I wanted to do. This was just about spending time together, getting to know each other.

It felt like I had met someone new, and we were starting from scratch. Being with him wasn’t like being with someone new, though. It was comfortable, like flannel pajamas that had been worn so much the material was soft like the skin of a rose. I knew nothing about him, other than what went on in his professional football life, but being with him felt like coming home.

I had dressed up a little. Not much, because we were just meeting at a bar, but I had put on black pants, a blue blouse that everyone always told me made my eyes stand out, and I’d blown out my hair and brushed it until it was soft as silk.

Smokey makeup and subtle jewelry completed the look. I hadn’t dressed up and gone on a date for the longest time. There was once, just after I’d told Brian goodbye, that I’d thought I should try again.

It hadn’t worked. There was nothing more to say about that.

When Brian arrived, he looked great. He wore jeans that were faded and hung off his hips like he was doing them a favor. He wore a black, collared shirt with short sleeves and black shoes to go with it. He looked suave and confident.

When he saw me, a smile spread over his face, the kind of smile that made me feel like it was just for me.

He walked to me and kissed me on the cheek.

“You look even more beautiful than you always do,” he said.

I blushed. He led me to the bar, and we ordered drinks. When he paid and we both sipped our drinks, he looked at me.

“So, tell me about you,” he said. “What did you do after school?”

He was asking me like I was a stranger to him, someone intriguing that he wanted to get to know. It made me feel at ease. I had nothing to prove if he was getting to know me from scratch. I had no past reputation that I didn’t know about to live up to.

“Well,” I said. “I studied for a degree in business management because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. It seemed safe.”

Brian nodded.

“When I started looking for jobs in that direction, I realized I didn’t like it. It’s still good to have a degree, of course, but I added onto that with a certificate in sports management and started coaching. That’s what I’ve loved from the start. Cheerleading.”

Brian nodded. I knew he knew that about me, but he didn’t once tell me that he knew, that it was old news.

“What about you?” I asked. “Aside from football, what hobbies do you have?”

He thought about it for a moment.

“To be honest, I’ve been drowning myself in football. It’s a grueling schedule that we follow. But I like taking a timeout now and then, reading or drawing, that kind of thing. And going out to the theatre.”

I raised my eyebrows. A big, hot football player with refined taste? He was getting better and better.

We spent the night talking, getting to know each other. He asked me questions about my life since the accident without ever talking about it directly. Because he made such an effort to get to know me from scratch, I was scared to ask him things about him that I probably knew before. I was getting to know this guy, a stranger, and he indulged me, telling me everything I wanted to know.

He had two brothers that studied abroad, and he barely saw them. He was close with his mom. His dad passed away in our senior year. His life had been just like mine, hard and easy, and great and terrible, all at the same time.

When he asked me about my parents, it was timidly, as if he was hoping they weren’t mad at him. I assured him that they’re weren’t. I hadn’t told them I was seeing him because my mom would get her hopes up so much. She always wanted Brian and me to get back together, although she said she understand how that could feel difficult.

Brian and I were so alike in a lot of ways. I realized why I had been with him for so long, even though I couldn’t remember it. If he was anything like he was now, before, I would have fallen for him without thinking about it.

I felt myself falling for him now.

And I was terrified. When you lose your memories once, you’re terrified of losing them again. Or at least, I was. I didn’t want to forget Brian again. If I had known what I’d forgotten the first time, it was no wonder I was so angry all the time. I had lost the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I didn’t even know about it.

A part of me wanted to be able to fall into his arms. But a part of me held back, and that was the part I would listen to. Since the accident, I had been cautious, and I needed to stay that way. I had to guard my heart.

But Brian made it very easy for me to believe that I could fall for him and I would still be safe. Something about him made me feel different, the same way I’d felt when I’d seen him at the training center the first time.

I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I knew that I wanted more of it.

It was getting late, and the time came to decide if we were going to end it here or take it somewhere else. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I didn’t want to go home yet.

“I don’t mean to be forward,” Brian said when it got late. “But do you want to come to my place? No pressure.” He held up his hands up, palms toward me, harmless. “For a nightcap.”

How could I resist his sparkling eyes? His charming style.

He knew what he was asking of me.

We both knew it was a big step. He was pushing his luck. And me? I was going to close my eyes and jump.