I stayed with Luna through all the questioning and statements, only leaving her side to make my own bullshit lie. I should have left as soon as I was finished talking with the detective. Police stations made me anxious, and I knew that lingering around in one might raise questions from Monti and Frank. I should have gone after Monti’s head or secured mine and my family’s safety by alarming Frank about the war his son was attempting to start.
Because while I was only one man—one very small piece to a large, over-complicated puzzle—there was no way I would go down without a fight. They would find that out soon enough. Monti might be son of the second-in-command, but there was no denying that my family was valuable, intertwined with too many dealings to allow one rat-faced prick to bring the brotherhood I had grown up into down. I pushed that to the back of my mind to tend to the woman who sent conflicting, unfamiliar feelings down my spine, rendering me paralyzed to her every move.
There were few times, as I sat across from her in the waiting area, I would watch her face fall like she was about to break down before she caught herself and straightened out. Those essentially voided every statement she made about not needing me, despite the feigned ambivalence she threw my way when she caught me staring. I brushed her off every time she tried to tell me I could leave, coming up with lame-ass excuses to keep me there.
I wondered when she would stop treating me like I was her attacker and trust my intentions. But I had no idea how deep the damage Cooper left on her ran, so I handled her with kid gloves instead of my usual asshole attitude. Unasked questions about Monti and Frank danced on her lips all night and I watched her volley between bringing them up in the police station or staying quiet until we were alone. When she settled on doing it at the station, I shot her a warning look, letting her know it was the wrong choice. Mentioning those names would bring on a shit-storm I could never protect her from.
Cooper was being held in police custody overnight until they could make a more permanent decision, but the officer who took Luna’s statement had said there were a few other women who’d reported the same behavior and Cooper fit each of their descriptions. The police wanted to contact those women and match him with their statements before they gathered a full case.
That would be in addition to the attempted murder case I had against him, should I press charges. But I wouldn’t. I knew the real reason he was there and the moment they found out he was a Reaper the charges would be dropped and there would be a target on my head for outing a fellow member.
When you involved yourself with criminals like the Devil’s Reapers, you no longer had the option to run to the police for retribution. It was up to you to handle things on your own. Which was exactly what I planned to do as soon as Cooper got out of whatever charges they were trying to stick him with.
My mouth watered when I looked down at my hands and saw the dark, crusted remnants of our fight staining my fingernails. I wanted every last drop of blood that was running through that dickbag’s veins to cover me while I drained him dry. I wanted to look into his dull, lifeless eyes and show him how unflinching my morals really were. He was going to learn what happened when he messed with what was mine.
And despite the gnawing sensation I felt to run in the other direction, that was exactly what Luna was. Mine. Whether she liked it or not.
It wasn’t until about 3:00 a.m. that we were told we could go home, exhausted beyond belief. We were dropped off to our cars back at the bakery by a new officer who allowed Luna to ride in the front seat. He kept making shitty attempts at conversation, his eyes roaming her vulnerable body in a way that had my fists clenching in my lap.
I didn’t ask Luna’s permission before I followed her home. She would never admit to needing help from anyone, especially me, but I knew she wanted it all the same. There was a reason she’d dialed my number when he was attacking her—she needed me. I was the only one who knew her secrets without making her spill, and I planned to take advantage of that for as long as I could.
A primal feeling I had never experienced before crept over me, and I grew more protective over her each time I saw her face fall and her shell start to crumble at the station. This experience bonded us. Of that much, I was certain. What were we supposed to do with this new bond? I had no clue.
When we pulled up to her apartment building, I planned on making sure she made it in safe and then driving away. I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries. But Luna surprised me by walking up to my open window and inviting me inside.
She claimed she wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway and “the company would be nice.” I took the offer, ignoring the tugging behind my eyes from lack of sleep.
“Do you want anything to drink?” she asked from the kitchen while her dog sniffed away at my feet, not allowing me to take a step farther inside until it did a full check of my character. I was relieved that someone seemed to care, since it was clear the people she kept closest to her lived in a cloud of oblivion.
“Just some water, thanks,” I mumbled, inching my way over to the couch without riling up the little mutt. When I finally reached it, I sat on the edge, careful not to get my blood on the white fabric. Cooper had gotten some good hits in and the shallow slit on my throat was throbbing. “Do you have any ibuprofen?”
“Yes, of course.” She grabbed a white bottle from one of the cupboards and walked over to me, placing it in one hand and the water in my other. I gulped down four tiny red pills, hoping they would kick in fast.
“Does it hurt?”
She stared at the bandage that was placed on my neck at the police station with utter disbelief. They tried to insist I be taken to the emergency room and I had refused, too concerned with the girl across from me to bother with my own health.
“A little, but I’ll live.”
She nodded and turned away to sit on the loveseat across from me, pulling a blanket over her body while the dog jumped up and snuggled in next to her protectively, never taking its beady little eyes off me.
Luna was wearing an old shirt that a woman from the police station offered her as soon as she entered. She was so grateful to receive it, I saw tears slip down her face before she pulled it over her head and swiftly wiped them away, returning to her usual mask. It didn’t matter what she said at that point. Once I saw it crack there was no way I was leaving her side. It was one of the only obvious indications that she wasn’t holding it together as well as she was trying to portray.
I wasn’t sure what had happened to her clothes. She was already down to a bra when I found her with Cooper lying on top of her. Vengeance seeped into my veins every time I recalled the scene I walked into earlier that night. I tried to push it down before it swallowed me whole, grateful I made it in time. I decided I would deal with the blind rage I was feeling later, when I could take it out on something in private.
I cleared my throat to get her attention before admitting, “You know, my mom was actually raped by someone she was good friends with. It’s how I came into existence. After seeing how that affected her in life, I hate to know it happens as often as it does. But like I said, I feel slightly responsible for what happened to you. I’m just happy I was able to help stop it this time.”
No one knew I came from my mother’s rape unless they were around when it happened. It wasn’t something I’d ever felt comfortable sharing with people, and Grams and Gramps kept it under wraps to protect Mom’s reputation. I don’t even know why I told her, but as I sat with Luna, the words flowed easily from my mouth before I could think to stop them. Everything just came too easily with her, and that made her dangerous.
She silently watched me with an undistinguishable look on her face. My survival hung on my gift of reading people. Years of conditioning taught me to learn my opponent before I ever went up against them. It was why I was such a valuable member of the Reapers before Mom fucked it up for me. In the small amount of time I’d spent with her, I learned how to read her many expressions, however slight they may be, but I had no idea what that one meant.
“I’m so sorry,” she finally whispered, bringing her eyes down to a loose thread on the blanket she was playing with before continuing, “who are Monti and Frank?”
I clenched my teeth while considering what I should tell her. Truthfully, I really didn’t want her to know anything about them.
“They own the bar Mom works at.” Plain and simple. Leave it at that, Luna. Don’t pry.
“Why are they looking for you?” she asked, staring across the room at me expectantly now. She knew something was going on and she wasn’t going to let it go until she had answers—answers she deserved, because her life was at risk as well. Secrets kill, and all. But in this case, I think these secrets were more dangerous to her if they were exposed.
Although, there was no way I could deny her. Inhaling a long, hesitant breath, I began to explain, “Mom started hooking up with Frank about a year ago, when she started bartending at his strip club.”
I surveyed her features, watching for any sign of judgement or discomfort that would allow me to get out of explaining. I could easily shut it down if it was making her uncomfortable. Instead, she sat there patiently, her innocence shining through every pore of her body despite the coat of armor she tried to hide it with.
Closing my eyes in exasperation, I mentally sent a huge middle finger to whatever higher power there was that dragged her into the mess we were in. I wished I didn’t have to explain what twisted things hid in the shadows and dark corners I was so accustomed to. Like her namesake, Luna represented the moon—pure and innocent, illuminating the world through a reflection of the sun. I was the Grim Reaper, ripping up the last shreds of her that Cooper left behind. My mere presence threatened her well-being.
“Because she was jumping from job to job, she started falling behind on the rent. Frank hired her as a favor to me and my uncle to work the bar at his strip club. Being the snake that he is, he offered to loan her some money as an advance on her paycheck. The problem was, when she was handing over her paychecks to pay him back, she was left broke again. She had no choice but to continue borrowing to pay the bills and it was a never-ending cycle. Eventually, her debts grew larger than any paycheck or tip she would ever receive.”
I stopped again, looking over to make sure she was still following. Now that the wound was dug open, it was easier to get it off my chest—the secrets I’d been keeping in for too long. Her head nodded in my direction, urging me to go on. And I did, breathing through the small amount of weight that was being lifted from my chest.
“I had no idea what Mom roped me into until it was too late. She conned me into meeting with Frank by telling me she was stuck with a flat tire on the side of the road. When I got there, the agreement was already made, and they’d given me no choice but to comply. Mom had herself dug into a hole that was too deep to get out of without any help.
“She promised me she was done borrowing and I was only working to pay off her current debts at the time. That’s when Monti, Frank’s son, started dropping random cars off to the shop every weekend. I never questioned where they came from. I just pulled them apart and loaded everything into a moving truck the next morning.”
I stopped myself, not wanting to incriminate her too much with the truth. I started working with the Reapers when I was sixteen years old and caught Uncle Joe hopping into a stolen car with a pistol in his jacket pocket. That night, he’d barely gotten out of a sticky situation after his getaway driver choked in the last second and slowed down the car, opening them up for an attack that almost cost him his life. Uncle Joe knew I spent my nights racing the streets of Detroit for fun. He decided to bring me on as his driver, until I eventually graduated to driving more high-profile Reapers into more dangerous runs.
“What do you have going on tonight?” he asked, eyes identical to mine boring into my skull while he awaited my answer. He already knew it didn’t matter what I had planned, I would drop it for him.
Family came first, no matter what. At least, that’s what Grams always said.
“Not much. Why? What’s up?”
“I need you to give me a ride somewhere.” His jaw was set in place, a tell I’d learned over the years. He was anxious. About what, I wasn’t sure yet.
“Okay.” I shook my long hair out of my eyes, a nervous habit.
“All right. Wear something dark. We’ll talk in the car. And, Liam?” He paused, his eyes focused hard on my face again. “Don’t tell your mom about this.”
Within a month we had our system down to a science, escaping crime scenes before anyone even realized we’d arrived. We slowly got recruited for higher risk jobs that offered bigger paychecks. I never knew the details, only followed whatever directions my uncle gave me and hit the gas like my life depended on it. It didn’t take long for Niko to join me in my illegal endeavors—we’d never been able to do things without the other following close behind and that’s exactly how we liked it. The Reapers insisted on initiating us, some of the insecure assholes claiming they wouldn’t trust an outsider with their life and refusing to go on runs with Joe.
The day Niko and I officially joined, Joe wore the same hard expression from the first night he asked me to drive him, admitting later that he was still unsure if this was a decision that would cost us our young lives. That was, until Niko joined the Marines and left the Reapers to go overseas and Mom opened her legs to Frank. When he found out I was her son, he immediately pulled me from my spot and tasked me with parting out stolen cars—a huge step down from what I was used to doing. I tried to fight it, but Frank was the face of the Reapers and once an order was given by him, it wasn’t taken back. No one knew who the real boss was—we didn’t even have a name to call him, let alone a face to put it to. That meant to us, Frank held all the power and he wasn’t one to be messed with.
The agreement with Frank was one car every weekend. In fact, he was the one who insisted I didn’t do more than that when I originally offered to pay him off quicker. He knew that running multiple cars through the shop would draw attention to the operation. Monti was pushing his luck, bringing me as many cars as he was throughout the week. They paid me half of what they paid every other chop shop, applying the rest toward our unpaid debt. They didn’t know I’d been storing the rest of the money away to hand over when I had enough to pay them off in full. The problem was that Mom kept taking Frank’s money behind my back.
I left all of that out, though, because Luna didn’t need to be bothered with the grimy details. She just needed to know how dangerous those men were, and that they had a lot to lose right now.
“Liam,” she whispered, her brows pinched together as she absorbed my words. When I looked back up at her, her eyes found mine and sympathy clouded them.
Anger did somersaults in my chest. Once again, I was the poor little boy who was screwed over by life and earning pity stares from everyone around me. Before I snapped at her, I continued, frustration lacing every word. I didn’t want her pity, and I wasn’t telling her my story to earn sympathy—I was telling her this to save her life.
“Turns out, Mom couldn’t keep her hands out of Frank’s pockets. The more I worked, the more she spent and our debt—her debt—never went down. Recently, Monti has been pushing it too far, sending more cars than I can handle and threatening the people I care about. I told Frank I wanted out, and that Mom would have to pay him back by herself,” I finished, leaving out that Monti was having her followed and trying to block me from backing out of the deal.
“You mean me,” Luna angrily stated, her face heated as her eyes bore into mine. All the pity from before was gone. Instead, she was pissed.
“What?”
Tension sat thick in the air between us, neither one wanting to be the one to break the silence.
“Monti is threatening me,” she finally explained, knitting her eyebrows tighter together and tilting her head to the side.
“You don’t care about many people, and Cooper mentioned someone sent him after me to send you a message. So, tell me, Liam, is my life in danger?”
I didn’t know how to respond. Yes, I’d wanted to say. Until I can get myself out of this, we’re all in danger. Instead I said, “You don’t have anything to worry about.” It was the first blatant lie I’d ever told her.
We were both fighting sleep, and my eyes gave me away as they drooped longer and longer with each blink. I wasn’t ready to drive home and leave Luna, so I tried to fight it some more.
She pouted on the couch across from me, staring daggers into the floor by my feet as her dog stared daggers into my face, somehow sensing the threat I posed to her owner. Silence fell between us like a thick, heavy blanket and I was falling in and out of sleep as I let her process my lies.
“You’re tired. Why don’t you stay here tonight? You probably won’t make it home if you try to drive. You can leave in the morning.”
Luna stood up, leaving no room for argument. She lingered next to my couch expectantly, eventually holding her hand out for me to grab when I was too slow to understand.
“You want me to come with you?” I asked, dumfounded.
Does this girl have no sense of danger? I’m toxic to her. She was a moth flying dangerously close to my flame. I didn’t have the restraint to resist—she would have to be the one to do it. But she wasn’t.
Nodding, she grabbed my hand and pulled me up, leading me through the small hallway and into her bedroom. Without turning on a light, she climbed onto her king-sized cocoon and disappeared into the covers.
I should have refused. I should have grabbed my keys and walked out the door, prying my eyes open enough to drive the short distance home, so that I didn’t cross any invisible lines with her. She was clearly confused and out of her mind, unable to make sound decisions for herself. She needed me to be the bigger person and say no.
Instead, I followed her back into the dark bedroom, stripping off my bloody shirt and pants before crawling in next to her. I molded my hard, scarred up body against her soft, sleepy form, feeling a peace I’d never felt before.
When I was a kid, Grams took me to church every Sunday. She didn’t care if I kicked and screamed the entire time so long as my ass was sitting in a pew each week. She was determined to chase the devil out of me, and she thought religion would be the antidote to the black poison that ran through my veins. When she died, the poison took advantage of her absence.
As they lowered her body into the ground, Mom squeezed my shoulder a little too tight, whispering into my ear, “This is your fault, Liam. You killed her.”
And I believed her.
My faith was put six feet under with Grams that day, where it’d remained ever since. After she was gone, I came up with my own set of rules to live by—core rules that would protect other people from my poison now that Grams wasn’t around to help. As I grew older and was hardened by life’s experiences, I added more rules to that list.
Lying there with Luna, I broke two of my core rules: never spend a full night with a woman—especially a fully clothed one—and never, ever fall in love.
I fooled myself into thinking Luna was the one who needed saving, that climbing in behind her was simply for the benefit of the broken girl who was infiltrating my life. But the feeling that overcame me in the peacefulness of her quiet environment told me I was wrong. I wasn’t climbing into her bed to save her—I was climbing into her bed to save myself.