The anger that fueled me was long gone, leaving sadness in its wake. When I was alone, I drowned in my thoughts and memories. When I was around people, I plastered the same fake smile I used before Liam entered my life.
I was stronger than I had been back then, thanks to him. But continuing my daily routines without him beside me felt meaningless. In such a short period of time, he bled his way into every aspect of my life, and then just dropped out of it without a moment’s notice. He was the shoulder I leaned on while I put myself back together, and now that he was gone, I felt like I was struggling to stay up. I had no one to blame for that but myself. I had allowed myself to become dependent on another human being who didn’t seem to care what effect his actions had on the rest of the world—a typical Reaper.
My twenty-fifth birthday was two weeks after Karla’s funeral. My mom and dad still hadn’t bothered to send me so much as a birthday text. Every time I thought back to her reaction to what had happened, I felt the familiar pang of guilt and disappointment.
On the business end of it, I was pissed at her. Pissed that she dropped everything after years of support and left me to struggle with holding it all together. Pissed that she didn’t even answer my calls anymore when I had a question about a customer’s order. Pissed that she left me to sink when business was just picking up and I needed the extra set of hands. If she continued like this, I would have to hire someone to help with consultations and front-end work just to get my work completed.
Personally, her abandonment cut deep. I thought that when she found out, she would be by my side the entire time, insisting justice was served to Cooper and helping me find closure. I expected her to be the annoying helicopter-mom she was throughout my entire life. Now, I didn’t even think she cared when Cooper’s trial started.
Whenever I called to check in on her and my dad, it sounded as if she continued her life like nothing had happened. Like she didn’t even have a daughter to begin with. Who is Luna? She didn’t know, and she sure as hell didn’t care that I was left gasping for air while she lived her retired life the way she’d always wanted to.
I thought back to a conversation Liam and I had the night after my parents staged their intervention, the first night he’d moved in with me.
“She’s just processing,” Liam excused. I wasn’t hearing that.
“She’s not the one who needs to process.”
Liam stared up at the ceiling, far away in thought as he answered. “You know, watching you go through all of this, it’s making me realize and understand the things that went on with my own family.”
“What does that mean?” I questioned, always eager to hear more about his past.
His calm blue eyes moved over to my face, a cute little smirk pulling at his lips. I learned to treasure the moments he gifted me with a smile, mostly because they came few and far between. Only his left cheek had a dimple, and if he allowed it to grow large enough, even his eyes would smile back at me. I’d only seen it a handful of times, but holy shit if it didn’t soak my panties within seconds.
“Mom and Grams didn’t really get along much after I was born. From what I understand, they had a great relationship before everything happened, but just couldn’t see eye to eye after Mom became a parent. They would try to hide the fighting from me, but I always saw through the fake pleasantries.
“In her last few days, I caught Grams and Mom lying together in her bed, talking and laughing like old friends. I heard Grams apologizing to Mom for forcing her hand with things, and not giving her a choice when it came to me.” He paused, shaking his head in response to my bewildered face. His grandma was apologizing for forcing his mom to have him?
“She didn’t mean it like that,” he explained, reading my thoughts exactly. “At least, I don’t think she did. I think she was just apologizing for taking over the situation without asking Mom what she wanted to do. Anyway, Grams explained that it was hard for her to work through what had happened to Mom, and she allowed it to get in-between them. Then I heard Mom argue, and she said the same thing you just said to me. That Grams wasn’t the one who needed to process, she was.” He stopped, looking over at me pointedly.
“What did your grams say?” I asked impatiently, irritated at his attempt to draw this out.
When I saw the sad look in his eyes, I realized that wasn’t what it was. Liam was trying to make sure I heard the story he was telling me, so I didn’t make the same mistakes they did. He so desperately didn’t want me to turn out like his mother, and that broke my heart.
He sighed, then looked back up at the ceiling, as if he was taking himself back in time to watch the moment over again in his head.
“She said that Mom was wrong, that there was a lot for her to process. Her only daughter had been sexually abused by a boy she trusted and allowed into their home for most of his life. She blamed herself for not hearing it when it happened just down the hall from her. She cursed herself for not doing the one job she was given as a parent and protecting her, especially when she was still so young. She hated that it took her months to figure out what had happened, and then instantly jumped in to fix it without allowing either of them a chance to grieve her innocence.”
I stared at the side of his face for a moment while his words floated around in my mind, shifting together like a game of Tetris. There were parallels between my attack and his mom’s, but they weren’t exactly the same, and Liam’s grandma had more to deal with than my mother did.
“She should still be here for me. Your grandma was still there for you and your mom,” I argued, realizing how childish I sounded.
He smiled at me again, melting the icy frost that coated my heart just a little bit.
“That’s true, but everyone handles tragic events differently, and that’s what this was, Luna. A tragic event. You’ve had a few months to let it sink in. She still doesn’t even really know what happened.”
Even though I didn’t want to admit it, he was right. “Well, it doesn’t make it any easier,” I said, tears burning the back of my eyes again. I didn’t let them fall, though.
Since the short time we spent together after Karla’s death, memories constantly infiltrated my mind, reminding me of everything we lost. Eventually, I learned to control them while I was at work or in public. They stayed on the sidelines while I handled everyday business, trickling back in the second I entered the quiet of my apartment.
When they came, they flooded my ears, overwhelming me with their white noise. The devil on my shoulder teased me with them, reminding me of everything I lost because I wasn’t strong enough to fight for him. I quickly learned to tame that bitch down and push the thoughts away, and each day Liam became more of a distant dream than anything else.
It was nearly closing time when the chime about the door rang, signaling someone’s presence in the shop. I was pulling leftovers from the display case for Pete, my homeless friend down the street.
“Welcome to Lunar Creations,” I said, my voice a little too cheery for the day I’d had.
My back was turned to the door while I wiped cannoli crumbs off the top shelf. I hoped it wasn’t someone coming for a walk-in consultation. I couldn’t take another one of those right before closing.
“Hey, Luna,” a deep voice sounded.
I turned to identify the visitor and was met with wide, laurel green eyes. The man smiled at me sheepishly, lifting his hand in a small wave while he stood right inside the door. His presence was dark and looming, a stark contract to the friendly expression his face held.
“Hi,” I finally said, wiping my hands on my apron.
The man started walking toward me, stopping about five feet away before he officially introduced himself. “I’m Niko, Liam’s friend. I’m not sure if you remember me, but I was wondering if you had a few minutes to talk. Were you just closing up? I can come back at a different time.”
I did remember him from the funeral, but I took the time to examine him up closed without any distractions. He was slightly taller than Liam, and instead of the shaggy, untamed mess Liam usually kept on top of his head, Niko’s black hair was buzzed tight against his scalp. Seconds passed before I realized I was openly gawking at the stunning man. I blinked, forcing a smile on my face that I hoped hid my nerves. I hadn’t had much luck with meeting Liam’s friends before, and this one seemed stronger than the rest. If he was here to hurt me, there was no way I could wrangle myself out of it.
“It’s no problem. Have a seat.” I pointed to the consultation table Liam sat at months before.
“So, I guess I’ll just get right to it,” he started. His hands were stained black from grease or oil or whatever he’d managed to get on them today, letting me know he worked at the shop. The fleeting thought that he was also a Reaper entered my mind, but I pushed it away before he could see the fear of it on my face. It seemed to be an impossible task for me to get away from those dangerous men.
“I know you and Liam haven’t talked since his mom’s funeral. Joe told me what happened… I’m really sorry you had to see that, Luna. Kelsey’s a bitch and she’s been after Liam for years. I can’t believe he got caught up with her.”
A genuine, sympathetic smile pulled at his lips and I responded with an awkward one. There was nothing to say to that, anyway. I had no idea how Niko and Liam could be friends. They were such opposites. Niko’s face held a look of such genuine kindness that slowly eased away any reservations I had toward the man when he first walked in. If Liam decided to walk through the door right now, I still couldn’t be certain I’d feel this comfortable around him. It was a sobering thought.
“I don’t know what’s going on with him. He’s always been moody, but now it’s like he doesn’t feel anything. He can’t even hold a conversation anymore, and he barely comes into work. Joe says he refuses to pack anything up in the house, but the landlord has a new tenant lined up for next month.
“I hate to lay this on you after what he did to you, but I’m really worried he’s going to do something stupid. I don’t even know what you could do. Maybe if you just called him or something, he might come to his senses. I would pack his things up and take him to my house, but Sofia would murderer me. He really needs someone, Luna. I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t desperate.”
Niko’s eyes bore into mine, silently begging for help. I wasn’t sure what I could do, though. Liam obviously didn’t care about me the way I thought he did.
I found myself slowly nodding, my brows rising in uncertainty. “I’m not sure what there is for me to do, but I’ll try,” I assured.
He bit his top lip, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. He didn’t even bother to hide them.
Why can’t Liam be more like him? Why does he fight his emotions so hard?
“Thank you so much. I helped him through it when he blamed himself for his grandparents’ deaths. He thought his bad relationship with Karla sent them into their graves, and she made sure he always believed it. But this one is different. I can’t imagine what I would do if he did something stupid. He’s like my brother, you know? I just have this gut feeling that he’s going to end up doing something to hurt himself.” He sounded defeated, like Liam had already proved his fears to be true.
The information he was sharing had my heart tearing in two. Once again, I wanted to hate Karla for the way she treated Liam. But it wasn’t my battle to fight anymore and she was gone now, unable to spread her negativity toward him.
“I hope I can help him then,” I said. I continued to assure him I would handle Liam as best as I could.