I drove myself to work in a fit of rage, somehow making it without committing any serious traffic crimes or injuring myself. My vision was filled with red fury and it didn’t fade off at all throughout the entire day. I verbally abused every unfortunate asshole who chose to talk to me, practically chasing them off if they got within swinging distance from me.
In the weekly shop meeting with Uncle Joe at the end of the day, we planned to discuss finding a replacement for Cooper. The shop was too busy to be without another set of hands, and while it would add to my workload to find the right person, I knew it would relieve some of the pressure on the other guys. Joe offered to recruit a few people but insisted I interview them, claiming he wouldn’t be able to tell if the new guy would fit in with everyone else. I think he was just afraid of hiring another guy like Cooper.
“So, is there a reason you aren’t staying late to take inventory anymore?” he questioned, staring into the computer screen that sat on the desk between us.
It was piled high with paperwork he couldn’t seem to keep up with anymore. I thought it better to ask for every detail about what he did for the Reapers or how he ended getting recruited by them, but I did know that the moment he joined, Gus’ Auto Shop seemingly started making huge profits.
“Not really, just don’t have time to do it then anymore, but I’ve been coming in early and tracking it during my regular shifts. Was it off or something?”
I knew it wasn’t. Inventory had never been more accurate than when I took it over at seventeen years old. There was something else he wanted to address.
“No, I was just wondering. I heard a rumor that you’re trying to get out of this deal you have with Frank. I just wanted to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. I don’t want to see you in any danger over this shit, man.”
While I had no idea what Joe did for the Reapers, he knew every grimy little detail about my roles in the club. He was the only other soul who knew about my new assignment and exactly how I ended up there. He also knew there would be grave repercussions if I backed out before they wanted me to.
“Yeah, I’m figuring it out with him. You don’t have to worry, though, I have it handled.” One way or another, I was done chopping cars for Monti. Joe didn’t need to concern himself with it.
Eyes identical to mine stared back at me thoughtfully for a long moment. As always, he was taking in everything I had to say and considering the right words before he spoke. I wished Mom were more like him in that aspect. She seemed to be keener on speaking before thinking and it always got her into shit.
“You know the consequences if you back out prematurely. I don’t want to hear that there’s a price tag on your head. Wait it out and be patient,” he warned again. His condescending tone was starting to piss me off.
“I’ve been doing this for a while now. I know what I’m fucking doing here, all right? You don’t need to keep telling me like I’m a little kid.”
His hands went up defensively on the desk. “All right, all right. I’ll drop it. You’ll let me know if you need anything, though, right? I’m always here for you. Family first.” It was his way of apologizing for overstepping, and I accepted it with a nod. I was in too pissy of a mood to try and hug it out and throw a fucking slumber party.
“Well, don’t forget to check the oil filters before you leave today. And can you call Schmidt’s and ask them where my damn part is for that GT? The guy has been on my ass about it and Niko says he’s still waiting on them to deliver…” he continued on with my honey-do list before turning back to his computer and clicking around, our mini-fight long forgotten.
As I stood up to leave, he stopped me before I reached the door. “Hey, how has your mom been? Is she still good?”
I caught the underlying meaning behind his words without making him come out and say it. He wanted to know if she was keeping her addictions under control. I lifted my shoulders in response. She wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to rat on her about it.
“Any guys coming around that I should know about?” he questioned, always the protective older brother. He had no idea what kind of danger she got herself into behind his back until it was too late. It took him months to find out about Frank, and that was only because Taro, a Reaper who worked at the shop, informed him about it. His head almost exploded when he heard the news.
“None that I know of.”
I almost had the door closed before he called out, “Don’t risk your life over this. Be patient and let the chips fall where they may.”
He was always full of sunny fucking cliché bullshit. My response was a middle finger in his face before slamming the door.
I had nowhere to go. There was no way in hell I was going to Mom’s, and I’d likely commit murder in Niko’s house with Sofia’s loud mouth. I circled the area around the shop for an hour before I pulled into a Walmart parking lot and allowed myself to think about my next move for a minute.
I shouldn’t have told her what the scythe was. I knew she’d be resistant to my involvement with the Reapers, but I never expected her to end things over it. The sincerity in her eyes when she admitted to wishing she’d never met me was replaying in my mind every time I thought back to the argument. She’d meant it, and that fucking killed me. It felt like she cut into my chest and ripped out every essential organ and then walked away, leaving me alone to bleed out and die.
Regardless of how I felt about it, there was no way I would go back. She expressed her feelings to me loud and clear, and I wasn’t going to torture myself with making her repeat it. If she wanted me gone, I’d stay gone. Even if it killed me to do it. I made the choice to join the Reapers knowing the stigma surrounding them. I just never expected to fall for someone who was so adamantly against them.
A shitty place with a sign flashing, “Flamingo Hotel” sat across the street from the parking lot I was in, so I started the Focus up and navigated over there. I figured it was as good as anywhere else and I was fucking exhausted.
“How long do you need the room for?” the young girl asked from behind the check-in counter. She couldn’t be more than eighteen years old, even though she clearly put a lot of effort into looking older. Thick makeup outlined her eyes and barely any clothes covered her adolescent body. I wondered who the fuck would let their kids out in public looking like this, let alone to work a shift in a seedy hotel. “We can do anywhere from hourly to weekly."
Her eyes roamed my body unapologetically as she spoke, her bottom lip sucking in while she awaited my answer. I made sure to keep my gaze locked above her neck.
“I’ll just do three nights for now.”
Once I was checked in and had my bags settled in my room, I stepped back out for a breath of fresh air and ended up wandering over to a hole-in-the-wall next door. I needed something to take the edge off. My chest felt like it was about to explode.
The pub was dark and dingy and if I breathed in too deep, the smell of what I assumed was something dying a slow and painful death would sting my lungs. I took a seat at the end of the bar and told the tender to give me a double of the cheapest whiskey they had. I didn’t care, I wasn’t planning on savoring the taste.
Three regulars openly gawked at me from across the small room, speaking a conversation to each other that I couldn’t hear over the loud music that was playing in the background. The volume didn’t even make sense. There had to have only been six or seven of us in there and aside from the three gossipers sitting at the bar, everyone else sat on their own.
“You’re new,” a thick voice rasped into my left ear. I looked over to find the face of a woman had to be around the same age as mom, wearing similar wrinkles and scar, only this woman was at least twenty pounds lighter from her use of harder drugs.
Pass.
When I didn’t respond, she dared to pet my arm with her cold, dry hand. “Come on, baby. I can tell you have something you want to forget tonight, and I happen to be a professional at helping people with that exact kind of thing,” she slurred, her words almost unrecognizable.
I pulled my arm away from her touch, but the movement was too fast for her slowed reactions to counter, so she ended up stumbling a couple steps away from me. She almost busted her face on the bar before her body finally reacted and she caught herself. Yeah, I could only imagine how much fun that would have been.
Our audience practically growled across the bar. One of them even stood up as if he was going to do something. It only took one menacing look their way for the round drunk to sit his ass back down. The rag doll sneered at me and stumbled away, moving onto her next target who happened to have missed the entire exchange.
It took three more doubles for my mind to fog up enough to forget her face. Five before I couldn’t hear the quiet cadence of her voice or the utter shock that swam around in her words when she told me she wished she’d never known me. Seven before I couldn’t stand, and the bartender cut me off and sent me out on my ass. I stumbled over to the Flamingo Hotel and fought the door before falling face-first into my bed.
I didn’t do drinking. I’d never enjoyed it and didn’t see the point in using it to chase away my demons, but tonight it worked wonders. Maybe Mom was onto something with this whole mind-altering therapy.