Liam was finally opening up to me, slowly peeling back each layer only to reveal more underneath it. He tried to hide it, but the pain in his eyes told me his history was filled with suffering, and it wasn’t something he shared with just anyone. I couldn’t help but think that whatever was going on between us was happening backward.
Shouldn’t I have tried to get to know him before I fell for him? He could be a mass murderer hiding bodies in his basement, and I wouldn’t know.
Warning bells sounded off in my head every time I thought about Karla and the way she had acted at the cabin. Their relationship wasn’t complicated at all. Karla’s hate for Liam was clear across her face and I couldn’t help but reciprocate the feelings toward her, especially knowing the history they shared. The Luna from before would have made sure she had that kind of information before falling in love with him. Now, it was too late—I was gone. Head over heels in love with a man who was impossible to crack, and the challenge even excited me.
My experience with Cooper taught me there was no rule book for how to handle sexual abuse and I had no right to judge Karla on how she chose to deal with hers. It’s not like my method for dealing with it was perfect. But I did have a right to hate her for how her choices had affected Liam. She allowed her demons to take over her life and ruined his in the process.
It had been months since I’d thought back to the morning I found the crimson stain on my toilet paper and cried for the first time since I’d been attacked. It was only a few loose tears, but the relief I felt was overwhelming. It was Thanksgiving and I was nearly three weeks late for my period. While I had still wanted to disappear from the planet, the news had me feeling light enough to get through the day with my family.
At the time, I had no idea what I would have done if Cooper had gotten me pregnant. Deep down, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to keep it. As I spent more time with Liam, I felt guilty that those negative thoughts even crossed my mind. What if Karla had been as weak as I was? The amazing man before me wouldn’t have ever come into existence and I would be lost somewhere, floating in space without him to ground me.
So, while I hated her for how she had treated Liam throughout his life, I was eternally grateful toward her for the mere fact that she kept him.
After packing a bag and leaving his house, we floated awkwardly throughout the apartment, adjusting to our new situation. We both felt the shift his move created in the dynamic of our relationship, even if everything was technically the same. It took a few days to find our bearings, but the moment we did it was like he’d been with me my whole life. His entire being held a familiarity that drew me in and a freshness that kept me there. I never wanted to leave.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into a month of living together. We immersed ourselves in one another, isolating the rest of the world while we sat in our own bubble. I didn’t give a damn. I loved getting to know him. I hungrily took in every crumb of information he gave me and stored it in the back of my mind to digest later, fitting the pieces together to try to build the puzzle of Liam’s life enough for me to understand it. He was stingy with what he gave me, but I was an open book, always willing to hand over anything he chose to take from me.
When we were alone the gentle side of him shone through, pulling me in even more. He was polite, understanding, and respectful toward my wants and needs. In public he’d return to the stony man I met for the first time in my bakery, and I almost pitied anyone who dared to interact with him. I grew familiar with a side of him I assumed no one else had the privilege of experiencing before, and I soaked it up.
Eventually, my mom grew tired of begging for answers from me and stopped coming into the shop to work altogether. Cara stopped ringing my phone off the hook. Liam hadn’t even spoken to his mom since the morning at the cabin and he assured me that was exactly what he had wanted. After years of living for everyone else we were free, and we loved it.
●
Slowly blinking my eyes open, I was caught in Liam’s sleepy stare as I watched a lazy smile stretch across his swollen lips. It was so unusual to see his face naturally lift, gracing his features with a smile that reached up to his eyes, that I caught myself staring, burning the imagine into my memory to recall later, when his usual frown reappeared. I loved mornings like this.
“Good morning,” he whispered tiredly.
“Good morning,” I replied, scooting over toward him for a kiss. “Have you been awake long?”
“No,” he answered, wrapping his large arm around me and hugging my body closer when we pulled away.
Out of habit, I traced the colorful lines that stained his skin, wondering what each one meant to him. We’d slept together every night for weeks, but fear still kept me from questioning them. They were such a touchy subject for him, and I learned to hate when he pulled away from me, even if only for a few minutes. His face hardened when my finger grazed over the large scythe that covered his left ribcage. It was nothing like the others, which were made up of soft lines forming beautiful abstract objects. This one was solid black, outlined clear as day and strangely familiar to me. Before I could stop myself, I was voicing the question in my mind.
“What is this one for?”
Liam hesitated, a thoughtful silence falling between us while he carefully considered what he’d tell me. I watched the conflicting emotions cross his face, breaking his usual passive mask. I let him work through it, not wanting to push too far and have him retreat into himself. Finally, he closed his eyes and took a breath.
“It’s for the Reapers.” That was it—he didn’t give me any more.
But he didn’t need to. It took a few beats before it clicked for me and when it did, dread filled my chest. Every crumb of information about him I’d gathered had been creating a trail to this. This was why I should have gotten to know him better before we were in too deep. In a sick twist of fate, my biggest fear was coming true. I knew he was involved with criminals but had no idea how deep it ran.
Now the veil had been pulled from my eyes, and everything was as clear as day.
It was general knowledge that the Reapers were a gang based in Detroit, intertwined with most of the crime that plagued the city. There wasn’t much that went on without being touched by the Reapers’ hands. They were a bane to the city’s existence—the reason it couldn’t be revived—and I’d apparently had one of them staining my life for months.
The night with Cooper re-entered my mind with no warning, igniting a flame inside my chest that burned and tightened until my breath was stolen away from me. A panic attack. That’s what this was. The scythe in Liam’s tattoo matched the one in Cooper’s exactly. How could I have been so blind?
It was my personal nightmare. While he made it clear he was never friends with Cooper, I knew he worked with him and that had always bothered me. But they were much closer than that. They were members of the same gang—a bond I was sure meant more than just being buddies at work. It was no wonder he involved himself with scum like Cooper. He was scum. And I had let him get close to me.
The air between us thickened with his new truth and I hastily scooted out of the bed before I suffocated next to him. I needed space. I needed answers. I needed a time machine to go back to the moment my life became this complicated, so I could avoid this deceptive man.
How could he do this to me? Why would he think it was okay to keep that kind of information about himself locked away for so long? I knew there were things from his life he kept from me but being a gang-banger should not have been on that list.
“Where are you going?” He sat up in the bed, confusion etched across his features as his eyes followed me out of the room.
I started gathering his things and haphazardly shoving them into one of his duffel bags for him. Clothes, shoes, food, all of it. Anything he’d touched was leaving this apartment with him. He walked out of the bedroom in a pair of boxers, perplexed eyes watching my every move. He was confused. It didn’t matter. All I could see was that stupid scythe and the weight it held.
“How could you keep this from me, Liam?” I barked, finally taking a break from rounding up his things to lock eyes with him.
“Keep what from you, Luna? You knew I was involved in some heavy shit. Does it really make a difference that you can put a name to it now?”
“Yes!” I yelled. “Yes, it does. Because what you just told me is a lot worse than getting roped into some criminal acts because of your dysfunctional mother. You chose this. And then you lied to me about it for months.”
I waited for the rage to take over the way it did weeks ago at my parents’ house, but it never came. The truth was, I wasn’t really angry at Liam. I was devastated. I finally found a man I could fall for and he turned out to be a monster. I was so in love with him I failed to see the catch.
“What did I lie about? I’ve been nothing but honest with you.”
He hadn’t moved from his spot and the look of confusion that occupied his eyes before was gone. In its place was another passive mask to shield himself from me. He was trying to hide his emotions.
His tone was what gave him away, though. Liam was hurt too, just like I was. What I couldn’t figure out was why. He’d been the misleading one, not me. I huffed, rolling my eyes towards the ceiling.
“No, being honest would have been telling me up front that you’re a Reaper so I had the chance to run in the other direction.”
“Is that what you want, Luna? Does this make that big of a difference for you? That you wish you’d never known me? We’ve lived together for four weeks and it hasn’t bothered you.”
“Yes!” The answer flew out of my mouth without restraint. It wasn’t until after I said it that I reconsidered, but it was too late.
I watched the word register with him before his face fell and his shoulders slumped in defeat. Without another sound, he walked over toward me and held his hand out, grabbing the duffel bag from my grasp with a gentle touch that countered my rough movements. Wordlessly, he slipped on a pair of pants and walked out of the apartment, but not before those dark oceans met mine and I saw the pain that splashed around in them.
In a matter of minutes, I broke him.
In a matter of minutes, my fairy tale was shattered, and my heart broke right along with it.