As soon as my shift was over I walked out to a beautiful burnt sky. It held the promise of a calm night over the horizon. My eyes shifted away from the mystical colors to Lucas, waiting for me across the street in his parked truck. My foot hit the running board and my hand landed in his. We pulled in unison, Lucas, helping me with the leap.
“Hey,” I greeted.
“How was the rest of your shift?” he asked, shifting the gear into drive.
“Went by fast. Why didn’t you come back in?”
Our eyes locked and a satisfied grin quickly appeared on his face. “You know why.”
I kept his intense gaze for a few seconds, trying to read his amused expression that made my heart skip a beat. Not wanting to break the calm that was displayed all around us, I decided to turn my head and look out the window. Sometimes it was better not to disturb the storm that followed him everywhere. We had driven in silence for a few minutes before I noticed he missed the turn to my house and then again to our abandoned house.
I finally asked, “Where are you going?”
“To South Port,” he simply stated.
“To town? For what?”
He ignored my question.
“Are the boys meeting us there?”
“No.”
“Then why are we going?”
He cleared his throat like his mouth had become suddenly dry. “I’m taking you out,” he rasped, holding onto the steering wheel tightly. “Me and you,” he added.
“What about the boys?”
“Fuck them.”
“Oh…” I stayed silent for another few minutes and finally blurted, “Like on a date?”
He smiled as his grip made its way to my upper thigh, squeezing it firmly. I squirmed and giggled.
“Put your seatbelt on,” he ordered, still not answering my question. It didn’t matter I already knew the answer. I’d known before I even asked.
We pulled up to Putt-Putt Golf. Lucas jumped out first and helped me out of his truck when I opened the door. “Thanks,” I half-whispered.
He’d done this several times, except this time he hadn’t let go of my hand. I followed close behind him as he led the way, cherishing how he guided me effortlessly. I enjoyed the feel of his huge hand. It was so bulky in mine. Hoping we could stay in this moment forever and not let it pass us by. Secretly praying we would get a chance to be like this. Always. I tried not to think about all the things that awaited us when we stepped back into Oak Island, our families, and the boys mostly. I lived in that second with him. Where we could just be Lucas and Alex, loving each other’s company and not wanting it to end.
We played two rounds of Putt-Putt and he won both freaking times. I hated playing games with him, he never let me win and it infuriated me to no end. I think he did it on purpose, just to get a rise out of me and see me act adorable.
His words, not mine.
We strolled down the beach, hand-in-hand until we came up to an ice cream shop. He ordered two scoops of vanilla adding peanuts, my favorite, and chocolate with fudge, his favorite.
“I have some change in my truck,” he told the girl behind the counter.
“It’s fine.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my tips. The twenty-dollar bill fell to the floor, and standing at attention was the name Cole and his phone number, fiercely burning against the ceramic tile.
Lucas and I both stared at it like it was diseased infected, and the mere thought of what was to come made my stomach hurt. He bent down, grabbing the twenty-dollar bill and placed it into his back pocket. For a quick second, I wondered if he was actually going to give it back to me. When I looked up, I saw the answer to my question on his face. I paid the girl and then he reassuringly grabbed my hand again, this time much tighter than before. He found a secluded spot on the beach where we could take in the waves of the ocean while eating our ice creams, even though my appetite had become almost non-existent.
We sat side-by-side, leaning into each other.
“He asked me to be his tour guide for the day,” I divulged, wanting to break the tension between us.
“Are you going to go?” His tone was neutral.
I was surprised by his response. I expected a lot worse. “I don’t know,” I honestly replied.
“Would it matter if I told you I didn’t want you to go?”
I glanced at the side of his face. “Are you telling me that?”
“What if I was?”
I bowed my head and stared at my cone, it started to melt down the sides and drip onto the sand. “That’s not fair.”
“Do you like him, Alex?”
“I don’t know him, Lucas,” I countered, throwing his name back at him.
“Do you want to get to know him?”
“He’s nice,” I said loud enough for him to hear.
It was like taking a knife to the heart. “He’s a fucking douchebag,” I stated, remembering the way he squared off to me, provoking me.
“You don’t know him, either. You’re not being nice.”
“I don’t give a shit what I’m being. The guy’s a fucking douche. I don’t like him, and trust me the feeling is very much mutual.”
“How do you know that?”
If he hadn’t mentioned our encounter to her then neither was I. “I didn’t think you found pretty boys like him attractive,” I said, changing the subject.
She shrugged.
I hated all this lingering bullshit placed in between us. I didn’t know how to express myself into words without getting pissed off and letting my temper get the best of me.
“Did you take me out because of him, Bo?” she murmured, not taking her stare away from her cone that melted everywhere. I grabbed it and licked all around the edges, making it good as new and handing it right back to her.
She shyly smiled. “Thanks.” Immediately licking where I just did, making my dick twitch. It was so innocent, she didn’t even realize the effect it might have on me. All it did was reinforce the fact that she was still so fucking young. I had to stop watching her and shake away the thoughts, but I didn’t want to answer her question either. It wouldn’t come out the right way. The truth was he did have something to do with it, but not in the way she would interpret it.
She was mine.
I didn’t want to share her.
Not with Cole.
Not with anyone.
How do you explain something you don’t even understand?
“You take Stacey out,” she said, pulling me away from my thoughts and making me look at her again.
“Not like that.”
“Like what then?”
“She doesn’t matter,” I firmly stated.
“You always say that.”
“It’s the truth.”
She sighed and then opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it.
“Say it,” I ordered in a serious tone.
“It’s nice having a new friend.”
My head jerked back and I narrowed my eyes at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It just means that it’s nice meeting new people. All I’ve ever had is you boys, and sometimes I’ve felt left out, is all.”
“When?”
She bowed her head, looking at her cone once again. “Dylan has Aubrey, Jacob has different girls all the time and don’t even get me started on Austin,” she hesitated for a few seconds, “You have—”
“You,” I clearly asserted. “I have you.”
She finally looked up at me. “Do I?”
I didn’t falter. “Always.”
We stared at each other for a few minutes, neither one of us saying anything, but I knew hundreds of thoughts ran rampant through our minds and there was much more we wanted to express. When you’re that young, you don’t realize how short life truly was. You think you will have all the time in the world to be and do whatever your heart desires, it will eventually get there. It’s bound to happen.
One day.
Two simple words that meant everything.
In the back of my mind I always thought our time would come, it was only a matter of time. When we were older, when we understood what we meant to each other, when our parents would understand, when the boys could understand.
When… when… when…
Our relationship was filled with what ifs, and maybe some days…
It was complicated.
It was messy.
It was us.
I couldn’t take her in small doses and I couldn’t take her in large ones. Nothing was ever enough. As we got older, it just piled on and before we both knew it, we went from hundreds of things to say to nothing. The pile became a mountain of endless questions and not enough answers.
As any sixteen-year-old boy would do, I ignored the warning signs and this was the first one that would lead to many. So I did the only thing that came naturally to me, I lunged on top of her and she shrieked, catching myself before all my weight fell on her. I gazed into her serene eyes before kissing her cheeks, her chin, her forehead, and then the tip of her nose.
“You’re heavy,” she laughed, trying to squirm her way out of my hold.
“Nah.”
“I can’t breathe.”
“That’s because you’re laughing. Why ya laughin’ if you can’t breathe?” I teased, moving my hand to her ribs.
“Don’t,” she warned.
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“Bo, I will hurt you.”
“Nah.” I tickled her anyway.
“This is torture!”
“It’s not torture when you like it.”
I held her down and started tickling her everywhere until I found her sweet spot, it was right in her inner top thigh. I dug my fingers in and tickled the hell out of her, she screamed, kicked, and laughed all at the same time. Her laugh was fucking contagious and I finally had to let go, falling over on my back laughing. She immediately gasped out of breath, and I grabbed her hand kissing it and laying it back on my chest.
We laid in comfortable silence for a long time.
“Bo…”
“Hmmm…”
“I’m going to show Cole—”
“Shhh, let’s just lay here okay?”
“Okay,” she half-whispered.
I had to let her grow up, but it didn’t mean I had to fucking like it.
A few days had gone by before I saw Cole again. He was dressed in slacks and a button-down shirt with a tie when I watched him walk into the restaurant with an older man that I assumed was his father. They sat inside instead of his usual table on the deck.
“Hey,” I greeted.
He gave me a simple nod and then looked down at his menu. Which was odd but I didn’t say anything about it.
“Would you like to hear the specials?” I asked them.
“I don’t have time to hear the specials. We will take your soup of the day and some salads, can you put a rush order on that. I don’t have time to waste,” the man demanded.
“Oh. Umm, yeah. Would you like—”
A scowl appeared on his face as he looked up at me. “No, I would not. Run along. Put our orders in.”
My eyes widened and I looked over at Cole who had his head bowed with shame, but he didn’t say anything. Not one word.
I nodded and backed away to go put in their orders. The rest of the lunch went exactly like that. Cole wouldn’t meet my eyes and the man he was with was rude and mean, although he did leave me a thirty-dollar tip on a twenty-dollar meal. Several hours had past when I saw Cole sitting outside on the deck in his usual seat. A huge part of me didn’t want to acknowledge him at all, or even serve him for that matter, but I decided against it.
As soon as he heard the door open he looked up and we locked eyes.
I reached his table. “What can I get you?”
“I owe you an explanation.”
I shook my head. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“My dad, he’s well, he’s… fuck, he’s an asshole.”
I raised my eyebrows, surprised with his stammer.
“My mom is better but not by much. My parents, they’re just pretentious and self-righteous. They treat everyone like that, it’s not personal.”
“Why—”
“Why didn’t I say anything?” he interrupted. “It’s not going to change, it’s better when I ignore it.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say or do.
“I meant it when I told you I don’t have a lot of friends, and all the so-called ones I do have aren’t anything to brag about. My family has a lot of money and I’ve been everywhere, Alexandra. You seem real and honest, and I haven’t really ever met someone like you.”
I weakly smiled.
“I would love for us to be friends. I know I need one and something tells me that you do, too.”
“I’d like that, Cole.”
“Good.”
“So, I’ll take you up on your offer to show you around. I mean if you still want me to?”
“Of course.”
“I have off tomorrow. My dad has a golf cart that we could use, it makes things much easier than walking around.”
“That sounds perfect.”
I wrote down my address on the pad of paper, ripping it out and handing it to him.
“That’s my address. Let’s say around noon?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Now. What can I get you?”
He stood up. “You gave me what I wanted.” He slipped the piece of paper in his pocket. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I watched him leave with anticipation and sadness. I felt bad for him. There was more to Cole than meets the eye and I knew right then and there.
That we had that in common.