Chapter 17 – Carly
Brad wouldn’t stop trying to call me. He refused to give up. Maybe when I had been younger, and I had still wanted him to pursue me, I would have appreciated his attempts to get me back. Now, I wanted him to leave me alone. I wanted nothing to do with him.
There was no point talking to him anymore. It didn’t matter how well we got along, how much it felt like we connected the way it used to be. He had ruined my life. I should have known better than to get involved with the man who had broken my heart once before. But time had numbed the pain from before, and I had been willing to give him another chance.
That had been a mistake. I couldn’t be a part of the scandal that was all over the news. I had known that Brad’s life was all over the papers all the time—there was a reason I’d known as much about him as I did when he’d arrived—but I couldn’t be a part of that.
For a short while, everything had been perfect. Brad and I had been the way we’d been once upon a time, perfectly matched together. I would even dare say in love. But we weren’t the same people anymore. We had grown apart; our lives were different now.
My dad came into the living room where I was watching television and froze when he saw me. He was still furious. It was all over his face.
He rubbed his hands, one over the other. For a moment, I thought he was going to say something to me, but instead, he turned around and walked out again without saying a word. We hadn’t spoken since the fight we’d had when my dad had switched on the news and seen me naked on the TV screen.
I had still been in the bedroom. He’d shouted about it so loudly that I had come out of the room to see what was going on.
“That little shit doesn’t know when to quit, does he?” he’d shouted. “As soon as I saw it on the news, I put two and two together and figured out who he is. And that you’re still disobeying me to go sneak out and be with him. Look how far that’s gotten you. All over the news. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
My mom had tried to calm him down. I had walked in, seen the images, and felt like I was going to faint.
“I don’t even want to know what your excuse is for this one,” my dad had said, pointing right in my face. “The first time, I could have said that he’d seduced you, but this time you were a clear participant.”
He’d pointed at the television. His anger had been so thick, it had filled the room. I had matched his anger with my own.
“I’m not a kid anymore, and if I like a guy, I can do what I want!” I’d shouted right back. I had never been the type to roll over and die when it concerned my dad and his ridiculous rules. Or, at least since that fateful day when he’d caught me with Brad.
“Graduation,” he’d said. “That was our agreement.”
“It was your agreement, Dad. Not mine. I’m twenty-five years old.”
“See if I pay your student loans now,” he’d said before storming out of the house, leaving me behind in the wake of his fury.
Well, at some point this would have had to have come to a head. I’d probably have student loans until I was fifty. While I’m sure my dad would have enjoyed holding that over my head, it wasn’t practical to have to do what he wanted just due to financial strings attached to the arrangement.
I turned my attention back to the TV, trying to subdue my emotions. My mom came in and sat down next to me.
“You know he’s only trying to protect you,” she said.
“From what? Living my life?”
My mom sighed. “I know what you’re saying, honey, but he means well.”
After a while, my dad walked in again. His hand was red and swollen.
“What did you do?” I asked when I saw his hand. My dad looked at me, his face a mix of rage and guilt. “Did you go over there? Did you hurt him?”
My dad hesitated a moment, long enough for me to know that it was true.
“I told him a long time ago not to come around here anyway,” he said. “To leave you alone. Did he think I was kidding?”
“He didn’t come around here!” I cried. “I went out to meet him. What the hell, Daddy? What did you do?”
“Don’t you dare take that tone with me,” my dad said, but his rage wasn’t as much as before. Or maybe mine was enough to match it now.
My mom cleared her throat. “Charles,” she said in the way she used to say my name when I had done something wrong and she was going to reprimand me. “What did you do?”
“The bastard deserved it,” he said, but there was uncertainty in his voice now. “God, it’s nothing he won’t recover from. But he was with Carly, Denise. He let them put her all over the news. What was I supposed to do?”
“He didn’t let them, Dad,” I protested. “He didn’t know they were going to do it. And he couldn’t stop them from doing it.”
As I said it, I realized I was a hypocrite. I was mad at Brad for letting these things happen to me even though, when I was really being honest with myself, I knew the truth.
My mom shook her head and left the room. There was nothing worse in this household than having my mom upset with my dad. My dad glanced at me with an expression I couldn’t read before he left the room, too.
I was left on the couch, feeling like I had been hit by a bus. Or a train. Or both. My dad had hurt Brad for what had happened; for being with me. He’d threatened him long ago, but this was assault. Would Brad press charges? Would he sue? Part of me wished he would, just to teach my dad a lesson, but that wasn’t the answer to any of this.
Still, I felt guilty. I felt like this was all my fault. If only I hadn’t gone out to drinks with him, hadn’t let him walk with me. We could have carried on with our lives blissfully unaware of each other, happily building futures without each other. Now? We were irrevocably intertwined, at least, in this.
Now that I knew what my dad had done, I felt like it would be better if I answered Brad’s calls after all. I doubted he would still be calling. I’d put my phone on mute and left it in the bedroom because he wouldn’t stop. I went to the room and found my phone. There were a few missed calls from him, but that would probably be the end of it.
My phone rang in my hand, and I jumped, not expecting it. It was Brad, trying again. He didn’t give up. I wasn’t sure if I loved it or hated it about him.
This time, I answered.
“Brad,” I said softly.
I didn’t want my dad to hear, and I didn’t know what to expect from the conversation.
“Oh, my God. You answered. Please don’t hang up on me. Just hear me out.”
I thought about it only for a moment before I agreed. I would hear him out. He deserved that much from me, especially after my dad had hurt him.
“Okay,” I said.
“I’m so sorry. About everything. This isn’t what I wanted at all. I wanted to protect you from them, and now, you’re right out there, all over the news. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
“I guess I asked for this,” I said. “I was upset that you wouldn’t let me choose. Now it’s done. It’s out there.”
Brad sighed heavily. “It’s still not how I wanted any of it to happen. I just wanted to be with you.”
I swallowed hard and nodded, even though he couldn’t see me.
“I’m sorry my dad hurt you,” I said.
Brad chuckled. “It’s no big deal. I’d get hit for you any day.”
It was flattering, but if it was real, it wasn’t as sweet as it sounded.
“Where did he hurt you?” I asked.
“He gave me a bloody nose, no more. Don’t worry about it. I’ve had bloody noses before. It’s an occupational hazard.”
He was sweet for being so nonchalant about it, but I hated that he’d gotten hurt because of me.
“I want you to come to Miami with me,” Brad said. “We can get away from here, and back to my home turf where it’ll be easier for me to protect you while we’re together.”
Holy shit.
That was a big proposition. He must really be serious about me.
We were both silent on the line. I had no idea what to do. Going to Miami with him sounded so glamorous. He’d described his life there and it had sounded like a completely different world from any one that I knew. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being in Colorado— it sure beat boring Laramie— but my life there was rather lonely and boring.
And I had no money to finish school now that my dad was done paying. I thought about what it would be like, being with a famous football player and going to luxurious parties. But also, always being in the limelight. Was being with him going to be a public nightmare again?
“I don’t know if I can go with you,” I finally said. “Last night caused so much trouble. I don’t know if I can live like that, in the spotlight with the whole world having an opinion.”
“I’ll do everything I can to protect you,” he insisted. “I told you, it’s different back home. I have security, including a personal bodyguard named Jerry whom I know and trust very well to be on the lookout and chase away anyone not welcome. There’s a charity event coming up I’d love to take you to, and the entire security service is all set up for the night of the event.”
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. So much had gone wrong already. I wasn’t speaking to my dad at all, now, unless we were having a screaming match. My finances were a big question now if I had to pay for them and I didn’t get a good job, and I had no idea how I was going to move forward when the world had basically seen me naked.
“I don’t know, Brad,” I said. “I’ll have to think about it.”
Brad took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. He sounded exasperated. I wondered if he was irritated with my reaction to the scandal, and if this was normal to him. Well, if it was, he would have to accept that none of this was normal to me.
“My plane leaves on Saturday at ten in the morning. I need to know by four in the morning, okay? I hope you decide to join me, but if you don’t, I’ll understand.”
When we ended the conversation, I was emotional and confused. Brad seemed so relaxed about the fact that his naked ass was plastered all over the news. Did this kind of thing happen to him often? I couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t face this kind publicity and the repercussions that would no doubt follow.
I heard a knock on the door, and my mom stepped into the room. She sat down on the bed with me.
“Don’t take your father seriously,” she said. “We’ll pay your student loans. He’s just angry.”
“It’s unfair,” I said. “How am I supposed to live my life? I’m not a child anymore, but he’s acting like I need to be put in a glass box.”
My mom nodded. “He’s scared you’ll get hurt, and I don’t blame him. Seeing you on television like that is scary when you’re a parent. One day, when you have children of your own, you might understand.”
“Maybe,” I said. “But I won’t do this to them. I won’t lock them up.”
My mom nodded. She looked around the room.
“I was glad for you when you left the house to go study,” she said. “You are a free spirit, Carly. You should go to Miami if that’s what you want.”
I looked at her, shocked. How had she known?
“I put two and two together. I heard your conversation. And don’t worry, your father didn’t hear.”
“I don’t know if I want to go,” I said. “When he asked me first, it was exactly what I’d wanted. I care for him. I think I love him. I think I’ve always loved him, Mom. But I don’t know how to do this. I can’t live my life on display like this. Not even if he’s a great guy.”
My mom nodded, thinking about it. “It will be a big change, a risk. Sometimes a sacrifice. But if you love someone, maybe that’s what it takes.”
“I don’t know if I love him. I used to, but I was a kid then. Now? I don’t know. Sometimes, I think I do, but then something like this happens, and I realize how different we are, and I wonder if the person I’m in love with is still the person I remember from back then and not the man he is now.”
“Do you want to know what I think?” my mom asked. I nodded. She wasn’t always on my side, but she always had my best interests at heart. “I think Brad deserves a chance. He’s following his dream. He clearly loves you and has never forgotten about you after all this time. The media isn’t his fault.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if that’s a good enough reason,” I said.
“It’s not,” my mom said. “But how you are when you’re with him is a good enough reason.”
I looked at my mom, confused. “Why?” I asked.
“Because I haven’t seen you this happy in six years, honey. You’re glowing again; it’s like you’ve come alive again. That means something to me. The only thing holding you back is this indecisiveness and I can see that in you, too. You should decide on happiness. You deserve happiness. And if Brad is the man who can give it to you, you should give him a chance to prove to you that he can look after you.”
My mom hugged me, took both my hands, and squeezed them in hers.
“It’s your choice, Carly,” she said.
She got up and left the room. I lay back on the bed when I was alone, unsure what to make of it all. How was I going to decide? Giving him a chance to prove he could protect me was one thing, but what if he failed again? What if something went wrong and he only sat there, looking the other way, waiting for something or someone to drag me away again?
He wasn’t the same kid anymore, I told myself. He’d changed.
But had he changed enough?