I can’t concentrate, and it’s all Aaron Thompson’s fault. Of all the nights he had to show up, why did it have to be tonight? Why did it have to be the one night when I didn’t need him here? The night I need all my wits about me so I can focus all my attention on my mom and Jack.
Sure, I was disappointed that he hadn’t RSVP’d, but I didn’t actually think he’d come.
Plus, Aaron’s dressed totally wrong and looks totally out of place, but at the same time totally sexy in an “I don’t give a fuck” way.
The way his t-shirt clings to his chest and his arms makes me want to lick him from head to toe. And he’s so stacked right now, he looks like he could bench-press ten times my body weight without breaking a sweat.
The past two years have been good to him. They’ve added a maturity to his face along with a few spiderweb lines around his eyes, probably caused by squinting on the field. His nose looks like it’s been broken one or two times, but that only adds to the allure. His stubbled chin is as strong as ever, his cheekbones still high, and his lips are full and pouting. As for his eyes, they’re not called bedroom brown for nothing.
Every time I glance at him, he catches me. It’s like my eyes are attached to him because I can’t look away for more than a second. And when he looks at me, the intensity of his gaze makes me feel buck naked. Like he’s imagining me with no clothes on.
I’ve piled a plate full of salads and chicken, and hold a fork in my hand, but my appetite is less than zero, and I end up playing around with my food instead of eating.
His proposition loops around my mind. He’s right, after the wedding tomorrow we’ll be brother and sister. Not blood related, obviously, but still, brother and sister.
What would it be like to relive the night he took my virginity? To have sex with him again? It’s not like I haven’t relived that night in my mind every single night since. I know I’m crazy to even consider it.
The band starts playing top forty music, and the makeshift dance floor in the garden fills. Everyone has had enough drinks by now and they’ve loosened up. They all look like they’re having a good time, but I still can’t seem to relax.
I glance over at my mom who’s holding Jack’s hand and is laughing at something he said. She’s glowing. I’ve never seen her this happy in my life, and I’m happy that she’s happy. I’m happy that finally after all these years, she’s found a man she can trust and believe.
A light tap on my shoulder makes me jump, and I spill my food on the grass.
“Fucking wonderful,” I mumble.
I turn around to glare at whoever snuck up on me. I should have known. Aaron. He’s smiling and holding out his hand.
“Care to dance with your soon-to-be brother?” He asks, his dark brown eyes glinting with mischief.
“No. I’m all good,” I say. “Now excuse me. This mess isn’t going to clean itself.”
“Come on, Taylor, I’m not going to maul you on the dance floor. Don’t leave me hanging.”
I blow out an exasperated sigh, but I’m secretly thrilled. “Fine. But keep your hands above my waist. Got it?”
“I can’t promise because you’re so fucking gorgeous, but I’ll do my best.”
I roll my eyes as if to say, save your crap for someone else.
The band starts playing a schmaltzy song by one of the 80s hairbands my mom loves so much. Something about not being in love and it being a phase. Sounds something similar to what I’m going through right now.
Once we’re on the dance floor, and in the middle of the other couples, Aaron rests his hands on the curve of my waist. I shudder at his touch. I hate how I’m ready to lay down, spread my legs and say “do me now.”
By the grin in his eyes, he can tell how much his touch affects me. Bastard.
Even though I’m five-seven and wearing 4-inch stilettos, my forehead only reaches his nose, and I have to look up to see his eyes.
I place my hands on his broad shoulders but don’t get too close. I’m afraid if I do, his beachy cologne will intoxicate me and make me do something I’ll later regret.
“So,” he begins, “what have you been doing for the past two years.”
“Like you really care,” I say with another roll of my eyes.
“I’m serious, Tay. I want to know what you’ve been up to.”
“Oh, the usual. Pining for you. I spend my days wishing you were mine. Wishing you were here with me.”
Now it’s his turn to roll his eyes. “You don’t think I’m genuinely interested?”
I give my head a slight shake. “If you were interested in anyone here, like, say, your family, you would’ve come home a long time ago.”
“It’s complicated. And we all do things we regret.”
I snort out a laugh. “You’ve got that right.”
He lowers his lips and brushes them over the shell of my ear. “If you really regret me fucking you on the sand, I’ll leave you alone. But you don’t regret it, do you? You want me.”
I shiver, and goosebumps dot my skin. “I won’t lie, you look good Aaron. Better than good. You’re hot, and you know it, but I won’t go there. I’d rather screw every member of the football team than give myself to you again.” At my lies, my heartbeat quickens, and my body overheats through my summer dress. “I’m a lot pickier now when it comes to who, or what, I get into bed with. Lots of guys want to date me. Lots of guys have asked me, but I’m not interested.
“Your dad is a good guy, and I know he’ll be good to my mom, but in my mind all men are users. They may not start that way, but that’s the way it always ends up. And I won’t allow that to happen to me again.”
He tightens his grip on my waist. “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter. You’re not curious to see if we can make it even better than the last time? See if I can make you scream my name even louder?”
“Why are you such a jerk?” I walk off the dancefloor leaving him standing there with his arms hanging by his side. I don’t look back, but I do see his dad glaring towards him with a pissed expression on his face.
“He giving you a hard time,” Coach asks when I walk past.
I shake my head and smile. The last thing I want to do is to cause any tension between Aaron and his dad. “He’s just teasing me the way he did when we were growing up. Taking the annoying big brother roll a little too seriously.” Jack smiles totally getting what I mean when I say that.
For the rest of the evening, I avoid Aaron by talking to the other guests and dancing with Chelsea and my sisters.
When the night comes to an end, it’s been a while since I last saw him, and I’m pretty sure he’s gone back to whatever rock he crawled out from under. I breathe a sigh of relief because him not being here means I don’t have to deal with him and my off-the-charts hormones. My body and the brain are at war. If I’d taken him up on his so-called proposition, would it be like the first time or even better?
The night we slept together is seared into my brain and has kept me entertained on many occasions. It’s my go-to fantasy, the one that always gets me off.
My mom comes over and pulls me into a vanilla scented hug. “Baby, everything was amazing. I can’t thank you enough for all the work you put into this.”
“Are you happy, Mom?” She cups my cheek in her hand, and I inhale the scent of her ever-familiar perfume. “When your dad left, I was young and angry, and I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love again. I didn’t think I’d ever need anyone but you girls. This wasn’t something that happened overnight. My friendship with Jack built for years before I’d even have a cup of coffee with him.
“And then, it snowballed. He gets and accepts everything about me. We’ve both been through a rough time and know there’s baggage, but that’s the baggage we’ll carry for each other. I hope someday you’ll find someone like him.”
“Thanks, Mom. Men like him are few and far between and are snapped up straight away. I won’t hold my breath.”
“Someday, baby girl, you’ll fall in love. Just don’t be in a hurry. It’s hard to believe when I was your age, I was married and had a baby. Do I regret getting married so young, hell yes, but I’ll never regret you or your sisters. There isn’t a mom alive who’s prouder of her daughter than I am of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
She yawns and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Time for bed or this blushing bride will look like an old hag in the morning. Don’t stay up too much later.”
“I won’t, Mom. Promise”
And then there was just me. Chelsea and Wesley skipped off early, probably to have sex in the fairground or something, and the other guests left sometime around eleven.
I walk around the tent, giving it one last check, making sure everything is in its place for tomorrow.
Outside the tent, a balmy summer breeze wraps around my body. I’m surrounded by nothing but silence and the crashing ocean. A quick walk along the beach will clear my head before bed and allow me to process everything that’s happened this evening.
I kick off my heels and walk across the deck towards the sand.
It’s funny how fast life can change. In the space of a year, Chelsea found Wesley, my mom found Chelsea’s dad, and now I’m thinking about changing majors. Lord only knows what else is on the horizon for me.
I step off the deck onto the powder-soft sand and dig my toes in. For a moment, I stand there enjoying the salty air.
I head toward the edge of the ocean, the tide is in, so I can’t go very far. There are enough lights from houses lining the beach to guide my way, which means I don’t have to worry about getting lost or falling and breaking my neck.
When I’ve been walking for about fifteen minutes, the silhouette of the man who fills my dreams, or should that be nightmares, stands at the water’s edge. I stop walking and debate on whether I should turn back or not, but before I can decide, the silhouette makes his way towards me. My head yells run, but my feet won’t cooperate.
“I knew you couldn’t resist me,” he says, but the way he says it lets me know he’s joking.
“Can any woman?”
I plop down on the sand and wrap my dress around my legs. “So, this is where you disappeared to.”
“Don’t think I was very welcome, do you?” he says, sitting down beside me.
“It’s not that you’re not welcome. It’s just it was a surprise that you showed up. You certainly know how to make an entrance.” I pick up a shell and score it back and forth on the sand. “Are you coming to the wedding tomorrow?” I turn to look at him and wait for his answer.
“Guess I am.”
“Are you going to stick around for a while?”
He shakes his head. “Have a few things I need to take care of.”
After that, I rest my chin on my knees, and we both sit there in silence, watching the ocean. I don’t know how it happened or when, but his fingers begin playing with the hem of my dress, and with that I make a decision. One I might regret for the rest of my life.
“So, I guess you’re right,” I say. “After tomorrow we’re going to be siblings or step-siblings. Whatever that entails.” My body takes control, aching to experience him again, aching to feel beautiful and desired. Maybe it’s because my mom is getting married tomorrow. Maybe it’s because I’m horny and he’s here. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t had sex in two years.
Even though I use toys, I want to feel the touch of a man again—not just any man—him. I want to be held and kissed and want to feel that fizzle in my belly.
“What are you saying, Taylor?”
“I am not saying anything.”
“Coward,” he says with a gentle laugh.
He’s right. I’m being a coward. Afraid of not being the good girl. Well, fuck being the good girl for one night.
“We’re not going to have sex,” I blurt out. “I mean, I want to do things with you, but we’re not having sex. As in no cock in my pussy.”
He laughs again, this time the sound is deep and raspy and makes me smile. “When did you get such a dirty mouth? I like it. There are plenty of things we can do without me sliding my cock into your pussy.”
He stands, and I look up at him confused. “Where are you going?”
“If we’re going to relive the night we had two years ago, we should go back to where it all began.” He takes my hand and pulls me up. “You sure about this?” He hooks his hands under my butt and lifts me, and I wrap my legs around his hips. His massive erection presses through the crotch of his pants, and I don’t mind. Not one little bit.
“More than sure,” I whisper.
“You don’t know how many nights I’ve thought about this moment. About making you mine again.”
You have no idea, I think.