Four Years and Six Months Ago

“Let’s go out!” Teagan exclaims, bouncing in the passenger seat of my car.

“Yeah, that isn’t happening,” I respond.

“Party pooper!” She giggles.

“You’ve had enough fun for the both of us. Plus, Burke is already the grumpiest man alive. I don’t want to see his mood after he hears I took his drunk sister out on the town.”

“I can think of much worse things we can do to piss off Burke,” she mumbles under her breath. I ignore her comment because a clarification of it might only take this places we can never go.

So, I change the subject. “Why’d your friends ditch you?”

“They found some random dudes they wanted to open their legs for. I wasn’t interested. I’m not the one-night stand kind of girl. I prefer someone—I mean, something much more familiar.”

Again, going with ignorance here, but something feels different in Teagan’s attitude tonight, and it feels like we’re on a slippery slope, one where she’s taunting me to cross lines and destroy dynamics.

“You shouldn’t prefer anything, familiar or otherwise. Let’s not talk about whatever it is you’re hinting at. I don’t think I want to know.”

I’m surprised the steering wheel doesn’t turn to dust beneath my palms with the strength of my grip.

“I’m eighteen, Kai. How many people had you fucked by my age?”

“You and I are two different stories,” I insist.

“Why? Because you’re a man?” Her arms fold over her chest, and her bottom lip juts out in a pout.

“No, not because I’m a man. Because you’re Burke’s little sister. Because you’re you. Special, talented, and too good for these guys who hang around here.”

“No one will ever be good enough, not to you and Burke. Doesn’t it matter who’s good enough in my eyes?”

“No,” I say firmly. “It’s time for this conversation to be over.”

“Maybe you should take a good, long look at yourself and figure out the real reason you don’t think anyone is good enough for me. If you were honest, I’d bet you’d realize it has nothing to do with the petty reasons you help Burke keep me locked in a cage.”

“Enough, Teagan!”

The rest of the car ride back home is filled with angry silence. That is, until her lightly grumbled snores start to fill the interior. Parked in the driveway, I take a moment to simply stare. Her mouth hangs open in a drunken sleep, and her hair is ruffled in every direction from the awkward position in which she passed out. She and I have always been close. She understands me in a way not even Burke does, and after my mother was killed, Teagan’s the only person left I’ve been able to be truly vulnerable with. She always listens with compassion and hears without judgment.

How could one car ride have me questioning everything?

Was I misunderstanding the underlying meaning in her words?

The possibility that I wasn’t has the hair on my neck standing on end. Still, I shake the uneasy feeling away and push it down to never see the light of day again.

After getting out of the car, I go around to the other side and scoop her from her seat. She hums against my chest as I push through the front door. Her fists grip the front of my shirt as I carry her up the stairs, and her body is hot against mine as we continue down the hallway. I kick open her bedroom door, and she stirs in my arms, but I’m alarmed when her eyes blink open as I lay her gently on her bed. Against my better judgment, after the tense car ride, my lips are drawn to her forehead, and I kiss her soft skin. The breath from her sigh fans against my neck. As I pull away, her hands grab around my neck, and she pulls me back to her. In slow motion, I go from kissing her forehead sweetly to pushing my tongue between her lips.

Tequila and mint fill my mouth.

Her fingers link with mine, dainty but sure.

She moans into my mouth, and two things happen—my dick gets hard, and I push away from her touch. My fist hammers into my palm as I fight to catch my breath. I’m quickly backing away from her bed in a panic, completely stunned and pissed at myself for letting that happen.

“Kai?” Sadness hangs from my name as she questions my retreat.

“That was a mistake. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Teagan.”

“Please don’t say it was a mistake. Say anything else, but please don’t brand it wrong.”

“I’m fucking sickening, so fucking out of line.”

“You aren’t, but if you were, I would be, too. That was the best kiss of my life, and I think you liked it, too.” She sits up in her bed and shifts closer to me.

I throw my hand up in warning for her to stop. Her movement freezes, but her words continue to ask for more.

“Kiss me, Kai. Come back to me.”

“That can never happen again, Teagan.”

“Why?”

“Oh shit. You’re drunk. You’ve been out all night, throwing back tequila, and this is how I rescue you from being ditched at the bar? By taking advantage of you? What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve always known that. And how much I’ve had to drink is irrelevant. I wanted you yesterday and all the days before, and I’ll still want you tomorrow when I’m sober. Give me one good reason you shouldn’t get back in this bed with me.”

“I can give you several. You’re drunk, and I will not take advantage of you. You’re way too young for me. You’re my family, and that isn’t what we do. You’re my best friend’s little sister. Oh fuck, Burke is going to absolutely kill me.”

I ramble, and she grows frustrated.

Knowing this isn’t going anywhere good tonight, I don’t give her a chance to argue. I leave the room and hurry to my own, locking the door to keep myself from taking my own perversion any further.

I get into bed and slam my head into the pillow without rest.

It’s a lot harder to deny my desires after tasting her.

After one kiss, my need for something so wrong, something beyond taboo, and something so coveted rises to uncharted levels. Kissing Teagan changes everything. I’m not supposed to be more turned on from a simple kiss from a girl who is off-limits than I have from anything else I’ve ever experienced.

And yet I am.