Kai

My palms sweat against the porcelain seat. Stabbing pains run up and down my spine. The intensity in my gut shoots up and out of my throat. Ravenous-like animal sounds rush from deep within me as I throw up into the toilet.

Teagan. My girl. Oh fuck.

His hands abusing her fragile body made me murderous. As I beat him to an inch within his life, all I could see was the way she looked at me for help as I busted through the door. He wasn’t a person. He wasn’t anything other than the waste of air I found hurting Teagan. His life meant nothing. His life means nothing.

The way she clung to me as I carried her out of there was like nothing I ever want to experience again. I’d found her, and the reality of where she’d been was worse than anything I could have imagined. If I hadn’t been told to look for her there, I wouldn’t have recognized her. She was twenty or so pounds lighter than I’d last seen her. For a small girl, that’s a lot. Her ribs stuck out like a neglected animal. Her naked skin was pale and lifeless. Through the blood and the bruises, I saw a girl who was completely and utterly lost.

My bleeding heart stopped beating as I found her.

After the beating I walked in on, it felt good to get my hands on the piece of shit who touched her, who did this to her.

She whimpered and shook the whole ride home, and I fought through tears as I struggled to take my eyes off her and keep my nose pointed toward the road. As I remember, my side screams in pain, and my throat burns raw after emptying my stomach into the toilet.

The horrifying images will never leave.

My hands continue to shake as I make my way to the other side of the door.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

I’ve never seen Burke this mad, which is saying something, but never before has his fury been directed at me. Well, except for when he first heard about my past with Teagan, but even then, he wasn’t this mad. I’m not even surprised when his knuckles crunch against my face. My hands stay at my sides with no attempt to defend myself or fight back. Teagan is his world, and we kept him in the dark about her disappearance. This whole family has been through enough because of me. He’s my best friend, so I’ll let him take all the swings he wants.

A few more hard rights hit me, and my nose rushes with blood.

“Stop!” Paisley’s voice seeps with emotions. I’ve never seen the girl cry, but that’s exactly what she’s doing now. Actually, she’s been crying since I walked in with Teagan fast asleep in my arms and brought her up to her room. “Teagan is home! That’s what matters, and if this is anyone’s fault, it’s mine, Burke. I went to Kai. Please, stop!”

Breathing heavy with hatred in his eyes, Burke turns away from me, disgusted. His head shakes with disappointment. Paisley and the girl upstairs are probably the only two who would be able to get him to back down. The pain in her words halted him instantly.

“This doesn’t fucking happen again.” Burke looks between us. “Secrets like this won’t be kept from me, from either of you.” He takes the few steps closer to Paisley and wraps his arms around her, softening the blow from his harsh words before he looks back at me.

“I appreciate that you found her and brought her back, but motherfucking shit, Kai, you’ve fucked up with me, bro. You fucked around with my sister behind my back. I tried to forgive you for that, to understand, mostly because of our history. You were there for me in a real way when I took her in as a kid, but fuck, that’s part of the problem I have with it. Paisley asked me to understand, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do. But, now, after this … after you keeping this from me? It’s unforgivable! I think it’s best if you go.”

“No!” Paisley pushes from Burke’s embrace. “He isn’t going anywhere. He can’t. The reason she’s home safe is because he brought her back. Everything the three of you have been through together … all of that means something. Kai belongs here with us, Burke.” She moves to stand by my side and takes my hand.

I’m surprised Burke isn’t already on top of me with another punch. He’s probably only reining in his control because I’m in such close proximity to his girl.

“It’s okay, Paisley. There’s just been too much that’s happened lately. I understand where he’s coming from.”

“Burke Hensley, if he goes, I’m going with him!” She stomps her foot, and he grits his teeth.

“No! Stop! Please!” Anguish and desperation fill the house. “No! Don’t touch me!” Teagan’s panicked cries screech down from upstairs, and just like that, we put our differences aside and charge up the stairs.

Burke rushes to her bedside. Paisley takes her spot by Burke’s side, and I’m frozen in the doorway, flooded with the memory of finding her being beaten on the floor of that drug house.

When I brought her home, she was beyond exhausted, so I put her into bed, and Paisley cleaned her off the best she could with baby wipes.

It wasn’t nearly enough.

There is still dried blood flaked on her skin. The purple and dark blue bruises stand out in stark contrast to her almost-snow-white skin. Her hair is soaked from the amount of sweat she’s releasing as she screams, twisted up within the sheets.

“Teagan …” Burke gently shakes her restless form.

Covers fly into the air. Burke is knocked backward onto the floor. Paisley gasps. Awoken from her nightmare, Teagan leaps from the bed and tackles her brother, looking part-petrified and part-deadly. She stares at him like she doesn’t recognize him as the man who raised her.

“Teagan?” He coaxes.

Nothing. Just a blank stare from her follows after his words.

“Teagan?” he tries again but no change.

Burke brings his hands up to Teagan’s shoulders, and she flinches before bringing her hands to his throat.

“Give me the drugs, or I won’t let you use my pussy again. I’m entitled to my share.” Her tiny hands do nothing, wrapped around his throat, but her words stun and pierce us all.

Burke closes his eyes, probably absorbing the pain of what she just said. Paisley, all too familiar with someone she cares about making the wrong choices, collapses on the edge of Teagan’s bed. As for me? My jaw about touches my chest, and my ears ring in discomfort.

“Give them to me!” Teagan screams, going nose-to-nose with her brother.

I do the only thing I can think of and sing …

The lyrics of “If It’s the Beaches” pour from my lips.

It’s her favorite song. At this moment, I’m not even ashamed that I know the words to the Avett Brothers song or that my voice breaks like a twelve-year-old boy. I’d do anything for this girl. She played this song on a loop after we broke up, and hearing it through the walls used to make me angry. Right now, it breaks my heart. Brick after brick lands on my chest, winding me as the words about a girl wanting to run away seems to relate to my current situation. Teagan left without me though, and she didn’t go to the beach or the mountains. She ran to sin and depravity. She ran away from me.

Everything in the room stills.

Slowly but surely, Teagan begins to snap out of it.

Her eyes soften, and her grip around Burke’s neck loosens as her eyes land on me. The way she bites her lip and fights back emotions shows me how hurt she is. When she drags herself from Burke, pulls her knees to her chest, and wraps her arms around her legs, I see her fear.

Small. Timid.

Teagan has never been either of those things, but in that moment, it seems like they swallow her whole.

The song ends, and my voice wanes, but Teagan quickly fills the silence in the room.

“I can’t stay here.” She looks down and cradles her face between her knees.

Feeling like the absolute outsider, I let Burke take point even though I want so badly to take my girl into my arms and never let her go.

“Well, you aren’t leaving. So, tough shit.” He leaves no room for discussion, which means he also leaves no room for Teagan to explain.

“I can’t stay here,” she repeats, her tone becoming more frazzled.

“I’ll be taken out in a body bag before you ever walk out the front door again.”

Burke stands. Paisley stays quiet. Teagan pulls at her hair. I stand guard by the door.

Ready for an explosion.

It’s building within the trapped girl, who is starting to shake on the floor. Her hands scratch at her own skin until she draws blood, and her eyes become unfocused as they dart around the room, looking for an exit. Her face drains of color despite the black and blue bruising as her breathing becomes rocky and uneven.

Finally, I step into the room.

“Why?”

Burke’s head whips my way, and he stands between his sister and me.

“It doesn’t matter why. She’s staying put,” he intercepts.

Overstepping his boundary, I move around him and repeat, “Why?”

My knees crack when I squat in front of Teagan. The clamminess of her skin practically wets my fingers when I touch her knees. My heart beats off rhythm in my chest, being this close to her, both because of her state and because it’s just been too long since I’ve been this close.

“Don’t make me say it.” A tic develops in her face.

“Why?” There is a way to push her, and Burke has never learned that it isn’t by shutting her down. It’s by opening her up. “Talk to me.”

“I’m withdrawing.” Shame colors her face, but I don’t let her see how much her words affect me. This isn’t about me. Everything is all about her right now.

“From what? What are you taking?” My fingers run up and down her arms, and I find my answer without her admittance. Marks, bumps, and sores travel her skin like a roadmap.

She pulls herself away from my touch.

“Do my track marks turn you on, love? Is your cock raging to play right now with my brother in the room? It wouldn’t be the first time your craving for me happened right under his nose.”

She spreads her legs, still in only my T-shirt, and exposes herself to the room.

“Fuck, Teagan. Don’t fucking pull this shit with me here.” Burke turns to face the opposite wall and puts his back to his sister’s unpleasant show.

“That’s what it was always about, right, Kai? Me? Did you get off on screwing your best friend’s barely legal little sister? Imagine how good it would be to take advantage of me now. While Burke is pissed at us both and I’m at my lowest. I’d bet you’d be insatiable under these circumstances. Am I right?”

I close her legs with a gentle touch and lift her chin, looking her right in the eyes.

“You couldn’t be more wrong, but you already know that. I won’t let you use our past or my love for you as a weapon to hurt the ones who are trying to help you. Your manipulation won’t work with me, babe, because I know you. I know you better than the drugs know you. Say what you want, spin whatever you want, but don’t take me for a fool. You’re hurting because of everything that’s happened, I get that, but these games won’t work on me.”

I pull my cell from my pocket. Everyone in the room focuses their attention on me.

“What are you doing?” Teagan asks.

“Getting you what you need because you aren’t leaving,” I answer her.

“Kai …” Burke warns as I’m dialing the number. “What do you mean, you’re getting her what she needs?”

“She needs something, and she isn’t leaving, so I’m going to get it for her.” I keep my attention down on my phone.

“The fuck you are! We aren’t going to score drugs for my little sister.” Thuds vibrate the room as Burke takes a few angry steps toward me.

“You don’t have to do anything. I’m doing it.” I ignore him and continue. Teagan sits up, rejuvenated by the idea of more drugs, and Paisley stands, ready for what she knows will come. But Burke becomes impossible to ignore when pain shoots down my arm from his grip on my wrist.

“You are not getting drugs for her.” He makes his position known again.

“Burke …” I start to plead.

Teagan stands, and an explosion erupts.

Her tiny fists hit his chest while her frustration grows.

“Stay the fuck out of my life! You’re the reason I’m in this mess. Your control. Your lifestyle. Your choice of friends.” Burke makes no move to stop her as her fists pound against him.

“You’ve done nothing but suffocate me and keep me locked away from a world you created! You’re the one who brought me up, surrounded by a criminal enterprise. You’re the one who scared off any potential love interest in my life and left me with only Kai to lust after.”

Burke flinches at the mention of her lust for me. She can cheapen it all she wants. Yes, we were a torpedo of sexually charged fire, but there was … is real love between us, deep affection. Her rant continues, aimed to maim her target. It’s her wish to gut him to get what she wants.

“You’re the one who has been breathing down my neck since you took me in. Hell, I wouldn’t even be surprised if you were the one who killed Mom and Dad, ran them off the road in order to gain complete control over me.” She twists and warps each and every cause and effect that brought us here.

“If you didn’t want me to end up a screwup, then maybe you should have thought about that when you were raising me. How did you think I would turn out, raised by two teenage idiots who bent every rule they could find in order to avoid getting real jobs? I’ve heard of girls with daddy issues, but I think I’m the first with brother issues, and let me tell you, you screwed me up royally for life.”

Burke catches her by her wrists, obstructing her storm of aggression.

“Fine! I screwed you up, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give you drugs.” He pins her arms to her chest.

“Let’s all take a deep breath. This got heated quickly. We can talk and figure this out,” Paisley speaks, attempting to defuse the hostile, burning flame.

“You want in the middle of this?” A hoarse, evil cackle comes from Teagan. “Your sister brought you around here. The one I had to watch manipulate and fuck Kai for months.” Her voice rises. “You clouded Burke’s judgment and got us both kidnapped and locked away at some broken-down farm. You sat, unaffected and untouched, while I was raped and tortured in the room over. You were part of that freak Jacoby’s obsession, yet I was the one who took on all his sick thrills. I was the one left with his perverted watchdog.” Tears race down both girls’ faces. “Your sister brought you into our world, and everything fell apart. I fell apart. You’re a big part in ruining my life, and still, when you made the call and let Braelyn live, you got your way. I’m dead, and she’s still breathing in some prison cell because you’re a selfish bitch.”

Teagan looks possessed as spit flies from her mouth, and her nostrils flare.

“Enough! I’ve heard enough. We’re getting Teagan what she needs. I’m tired of hearing all this blame and watching us turn on one another. This is what needs to be done.”

I bring my attention back to my cell.

“Put the fucking phone down, Kai,” Burke barks.

“I’m doing what needs to be done,” I say simply.

The connection rings in my ear.

But then Teagan’s convulsing body hits the floor, foam pours from her mouth, and her eyes roll back into her head. Burke acts, dropping to his knees and cradling her head while her body goes into a full-blown seizure.

“Hello?” a voice says from my phone.

“What do we do?” Paisley is frantic and helpless.

Burke looks at me and nods, giving me the okay. Not that I was asking for it, but this makes things easier, for me and for everyone.

“I need all the methadone you can get and quick. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

She isn’t getting any more heroin, ever, but she can’t come off that kind of shit cold turkey. Not without side effects like the one we just saw. Her seizure just proved that. I end the call before pocketing my phone.

“Call the doctor, the one you took your dad to. His number is in Burke’s phone. Get him here quick, and I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I direct Paisley.

I want to snap orders at Burke, tell him to watch her closely, demand he not do anything stupid while I’m gone. His intentions are always for the best with his sister, but he’s always used demands with her instead of talking to her. She won’t respond to that, especially now. But I keep my mouth shut. I don’t need to tell him to watch over her because he won’t even blink until he knows she’s okay. So, I bite my tongue and leave.

If anyone could love her more than I do, it would be Burke.

She’s in good hands, the best, at least until I can return.