Kai

“Pussies give in to threats. I am not a pussy,” Burke grumbles his disdain about our current situation with Smith.

“We aren’t giving in. We’re buying time. And you are a pussy, but it has nothing to do with this. You’re just a straight-up pussy.” I fight through laughter to get the words out. There really isn’t anything funny about this situation, but I guess you need to laugh to get through it. Plus, Burke and I are finally in a place where it doesn’t look like he’s imagining carving out my insides when he looks at me.

“The only pussy in this room is between your legs, motherfucker,” he says with zero humor or enthusiasm. That’s just his way. He’s dry and monotone in every situation. Well, unless he’s pissed. Then, his stale words rise in volume by about fifty decibels.

I move to stand with my full body facing him. My fingers swiftly undo the button on my jeans. The zipper goes down next, and the noise causes his attention to swing my way. Lazily, my jeans slip lower around my thighs without much effort from me. The smirk I release, aimed his way, makes his eyebrows pull together.

“Don’t you fucking dare, dude. I don’t want to see that.” Burke positions the briefcase full of cash between us, blocking his vision.

“If you think it’s a pussy between my legs, then maybe you’ve forgotten what a big dick looks like, bro. I’m happy to give you a glimpse into how the well-endowed half of the world lives, but I warn you, you may start to worry how you could possibly be pleasing Paisley once you see what I’m packing.”

The briefcase full of hush money flies through the air, crashing down near my feet.

A deep rumble of laughter erupts from low in my gut.

“You wish you knew anything about how the well-endowed crowd lives. I’d be surprised if you could even grasp that micro-penis of yours. Do you need tweezers to fucking piss?” Burke cracks his version of a smile—one corner of his mouth slightly lifting.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Paisley asks with amusement as she and Teagan round the corner into the kitchen.

Hundred-dollar bills lay spread at my feet. My pants are locked down around my knees. Good thing I’m not running around commando today. Burke leans against the counter as if he wasn’t just egging on this turn of events, and I’m fighting back my laughter. My girl doesn’t seem to find anything funny about our childish shit. I can read her like a book, and right now, she’s worried.

“Nothing, babe.” Burke pulls Paisley closer and tucks her against his side. “It’s just Kai being Kai, an idiot. You’re used to that, right?”

I pull my pants up and quickly button them back in place.

“Well, yeah. From the moment I met him, I knew he was a charming idiot,” Paisley quips back.

I kick the briefcase out of my way, and more dirty bills fall out.

“Wait, you thought he was charming?” Burke sounds like the idea couldn’t be more absurd, but their bickering is merely background chatter.

Teagan is my concern. She’s always my priority.

I cross the kitchen to get closer to her.

“He’s a pretty boy with charisma. Yeah, he comes off as charming for about the first two minutes you’re in his presence. At least, until he tries to be funny, and, well, then he definitely ruins any charismatic attributes he might possess.”

Teagan stares blankly at the counter, unaware of anything else in the room, and her fingers clamp down on the edge like the kitchen island will float away if she doesn’t hang tight. My hand covers hers, but she remains still, stuck in her own head.

“Pretty boy? The dude looks like someone carved his ass up.”

Burke is ever so sensitive to others’ shit. I look like that because I practically was … by dear old dad. May he not rest in a second of peace. I drown out their nonsensical, Burke-is-jealous-for-no-reason conversation. The only girl I ever want to find me charming is distressed beside me.

“Hey, talk to me.” My hand squeezes hers, and she looks up at me as if she’s only now realizing she isn’t alone in the room.

“How bad would it really be if this video got out?” Her unexpected words knock me back. That isn’t what I thought she’d be stewing over.

“Bad. Whatever you’re thinking, don’t go there.” Instinctively, I’m pulling Teagan away from our bickering housemates. I sense that we need some privacy for the rest of this conversation. She mindlessly follows as I tug on her toward the living room.

“The only people in the world whose judgments I care about are currently all under this roof. We both know my brother is going to love me, no matter what. Paisley’s old best friend was an actual prostitute, and you’ve already seen the tape. So, why should I let you guys run headfirst into this to defend my honor? Especially when I don’t deserve it.” She pulls her hand from mine as her shoulders slump. In her lowest of lows, she was still the beautiful girl I’ve always known. She had just forgotten. I wish she could see her heart the way I do and that she knew how absolutely drop-dead fucking gorgeous on the outside she is as well. I’ve always known it.

“I’m not worried about people judging you, and I’m glad you aren’t either, but that doesn’t mean that tape should ever see the light of day. I won’t let it, and this is more so about getting to this fucker and making sure his little reign of terror is over. Some punk bitch isn’t going to come into our lives and threaten and hurt you. Not after everything we’ve all been through.”

“We’ve all been through …” she mumbles to herself. With more volume in her tone, she continues, “I don’t want to keep the past alive. I just want to move on and let all the bad shit I’ve been through go.”

Her arms cross against her chest stubbornly. I lean forward, growing impatient.

“You’ve been through a lot. The rest of us weren’t subjected to the same torture that you were, but, yes, Teagan, we’ve all gone through it lately. Paisley offered herself up as bait to a monster to save us all and was rewarded by meeting her dad for the first time as he was beaten senseless. Psycho Whore Barbie pointed a gun at Burke and toyed around with him while his sister and his girl were taken from him. These people, the ones who did all that to us, they were my blood, Teagan. Men who shared my DNA set out to tear apart my life, piece by piece. None of us are downplaying the shit that happened to you at that farm, but you aren’t alone in all of the crap that rained down on everyone last year. It’s different, yes, but not meaningless.”

“What a selfish bitch.” Her hands ball into fists. “You, Burke, and Paisley, you’ve all done everything for me and not judged me for all the dumb shit I did that followed, but I’m still throwing jabs at you all every chance I get.” The quiver in her bottom lip is pronounced.

My arms wrap around her, and I hug her tight, smelling the clean scent of shampoo rising from her hair. She embraces me back, resting her cheek on my chest.

“We need to stop fighting each other,” I whisper as my hands stroke her back. “We’re in this together. No one is going to fuck with us again. Not after everything. Please just let me handle this in the way I need to.”

“Okay. I’m just worried though. I’d rather the video come out than anything happen to you or Burke. My modesty isn’t worth it. Besides, I made these choices.”

Teagan’s body rubs against mine, seeking only comfort, but I’m not ashamed to admit my breathing stutters as she presses into me. It’s the reaction of a fucking child, but this woman is the only one who can get that sort of response out of me.

“We’ll be fine. Both he and I will be home before dinner. You used to love to cook. Why don’t you cook something to take your mind off things?”

She clings harder to me, and even though I try to squash it, optimism comes alive inside me. It’s been so long since I was her strength, but as she holds me now, I wonder if she hasn’t completely shut off the idea of us.

“You just want to come home to the smell of meatloaf.”

She tries to pull back to look at me, but I stop her, holding her against me.

“Stay like this. For just a little while longer,” I whisper over the thuds of my heart against my rib cage. Her sigh produces a humming from the back of her throat.

“You must really want meatloaf,” she states.

“Yeah, I really do.” I couldn’t give a fuck less about the meatloaf. It’s her I want. For now though, I keep that to myself.

“Get your fucking hands off my sister, and let’s go handle shit!”

Burke barrels into the living room with Paisley under his arm. I guess their bickering over nonsense has finished. Then, two things happen—or rather, don’t happen. Burke doesn’t make any attempt to dislocate my jaw from my face, and Teagan doesn’t flinch away from my contact under the nose of her brother.

Both feel like victories.

“Let’s go, jackass.” I release Teagan, suddenly feeling much more confident about the outcome of my relationship with her.

“Hold up, motherfucker. You don’t get to call me the jackass when you just had your hands all over my sister,” Burke shoots back.

“Holy shit.” Putting on a good show, I let my mouth hang open, and my eyebrows rise.

“What? Did you just now realize what a little bitch you really are?”

Burke takes my bait.

“No, I swear, I just saw your flabby pussy lips fighting through your jeans in the form of a camel toe. You should probably try a looser fit, bro.”

The girls giggle, and Burke smirks, hidden carefully under a scowl.

However the fuck this over-the-top drama keeps happening in our lives, I don’t know, but now is when we deal with only our most recent blackmailer.

“This is fucking stupid.” Burke makes his opinion known again for only the twenty-third time in the last thirty minutes. My car shakes as he impatiently moves around in the passenger seat.

“No one has seen this guy since we brought Teagan home. We need to smoke him out if we’re going to get to him. Your guns-blazing, take-no-prisoners approach isn’t going to do shit if we don’t know where the little motherfucker is. Our intel has brought up nothing on his whereabouts. He knows we’re looking for him, and he’ll stay hidden.”

My pointer finger taps the steering wheel in a steady beat.

“If we cracked some skulls, I bet some people would talk. Someone knows where he is. They just need the right motivation to get their lips moving.”

“Just watch the spot. We aren’t going around, bashing random dudes’ heads in that may or may not know shit. You think that’s what your sister wants? You think Paisley would be cool with that plan of yours?”

I keep my eyes straight ahead. About twenty yards in front of us is where the briefcase full of the dirty money we had to borrow and steal sits, waiting for pick-up behind a dumpster of an old, run-down convenience store. It seems like more stores than not in Greenwood are out of business.

“You’d be surprised what sorts of plans Paisley is cool with,” Burke mumbles.

We sit. We wait. My ass falls asleep. Burke grumbles out his frustrations. Minutes have never felt so long, and hours later, we are still just sitting. My eyes haven’t left the deserted area where we stashed the case. I’ve barely even blinked. The sun has traveled from overhead to far behind our backs. Doubt creeps in over my plan. I didn’t think Smith would show up to get the drop himself, but I was sure someone who could lead us to him would. How long is someone going to let that much cash just sit there for anyone to find? I’ll never hear the end of it from Burke if we don’t get some results today. Even worse would be having to go home and telling Teagan that we came up empty; the thought makes my heart drop.

The passenger door opens, and without a word, Burke charges out of the car. I follow behind him as he storms toward where we left the briefcase hours before. With both hands, he angrily shoves the giant dumpster. Of course, it doesn’t move, but the sound of steel being struck rings out in the dirty alleyway.

I stop short, able to read the situation as Burke’s short fuse ignites.

“It’s fucking gone! The case is fucking gone,” he screams, veins bursting in his neck.

No fucking way. There is no way anyone got in and out without us seeing.

“What the fuck now, Kai? What’s your next master move here? Because we’re out a whole fuckload of money, and we aren’t any wiser of where this fucker is!” His hands push against my chest. “Your judgment is clouded. You’re being too cautious because of your feelings for my sister. We’re done with the pussy shit. I’m taking over, and we’re doing things my way. Paisley has a plan, and I thought she was fucking nuts. Her plans are always over the top, but her idea worked last time with the Jacoby bullshit.”

Burke’s nostrils flare as he paces the length of the dumpster.

“What’s her plan?”

My plan went to shit, so what else can I do here? His restless strides come to a halt, and he looks me dead in the eyes.

“You aren’t going to like it,” he warns.

Caution is long gone after the failure of today.

“I don’t like any of this shit. So, what else do I have to lose? Let’s hear it.”

Not one to mince words, Burke gets right to the grit of Paisley’s plan, and he’s right; it’s fucking over the top as fuck. That girl is perfect for Burke because only someone who could love him would come up with the type of ideas that spew from her mind.

I want that cash back. I don’t really give a shit about the money when it comes to what we’re really talking about, but I don’t want Smith to have it either. I don’t want one cent of my money going to fuel his drug habit or make his life easier or better. We might have paid him off this time, but we didn’t get anything in return. He still has that fucking tape to hold over us whenever he wants.

Most of all, I want redemption.

I want redemption for me, for Teagan, for us.