JASON
Brittany having doubts in me not only hurts, it pisses me off. “I can’t understand how you don’t see how different I am with you, baby.”
“I see that.” She looks out the window and sighs. “I’m kind of torn about what to believe.”
“You know what?” I ask as I find myself speeding down the highway toward our hometown. “I’ll take a fucking lie detector test if that’s what you want. I do want you to know I’m mad as hell that you don’t have any faith in my ass. But I’ll do it if it’ll ease your mind.”
She looks at me for a while. “I can’t make you do that. I don’t want to bring distrust into this. You’re right. You have been honest with me. I could tell each time you told me things you’d have skirted around before that it was hard for you to make yourself do that.”
Taking her hand, I kiss the top. “I love you so much. I doubt you even have a clue to how deep my love is for you.”
Her lips curve into a smile. “I have some idea. Because I love you that much, too.”
With a two-hour drive ahead of us, the last thing I want is tension hanging in the air. “Good. Let’s put this shit to bed for now. For the next couple of days, I don’t want to think about any of it. I only want to think about you and me and our future together. So where do you want to live?”
The frown on her beautiful face has me frowning too. She looks at me with a furrowed brow. “Jason, I don’t think we should be getting into that just yet.”
“And why not?” I ask, as my insides heat up with nerves.
“Because I think we shouldn’t get married as fast as we were thinking.” She looks at me as she pulls her hand up to bite one of her nails.
“Stop biting your nails, Britt,” I say as I let go of the one hand I have to take the other away from her mouth. “And why should we put our plans on any type of hold, other than waiting for the test results, that is?”
“Because this is not ordinary.” She looks away and makes a groan. “This is so far from an ordinary situation. And, in all honesty, I don’t want to see my parents right now. I don’t feel up to it. I’m going to have to defend you to them, as it is. God forbid that baby is yours and I have to add that to the pot that is you.”
Fire rushes through me. “Embarrassed of me, Princess Perfect?”
She shakes her head. “No! That’s not it at all, Jason! Goddamn it!”
“You know what? I am sorry I did all I’ve done. I will deal with my fucking consequences. If you don’t want to help me raise that kid if he is mine, then you don’t have to. Fuck!” I slam my hand against the steering wheel and notice her cringing.
My damn temper has done it again. I’m too mad to even apologize, though.
She goes quiet and looks out the window. The tall pine trees zip by in green blurs as I speed down the highway. My pulse is racing and my head is pounding.
She doesn’t even want to go to see her family. So now I’m wondering why the fuck I’m hauling ass to a place it seems neither of us really wants to go. “I’m taking you to the airport and putting you on a jet back to New York. It seems you’d rather be back there than here with me, waiting to find out if I have a burden or not.”
“Don’t Jason! Don’t you do that to me! I have a right to be worried about moving too fast into something I have always thought of as permanent.” She glares at me, and I think that’s been about three times today that she’s done that to me.
“I have never even thought of getting married before at all, Britt. And with you, that’s all I can think about. All the time. I want you like I’ve never wanted any other person. I’ve come out of the man I was, and I did that for you. So, please, tell me now if you’re going to flake on me.”
I sit and wait to hear her. I trust this woman to be honest with me. She seems to have no problem letting men know her true intentions after all.
“Flaking? No, I’m not going to be flaking. I’m just saying a lot of things are coming at me very fast.”
“Me too, baby!”
“I know that. I also know that you’re very good at making quick decisions that end up being bad ones.” She reaches out and takes my right hand off the steering wheel. Holding it to her heart, she says, “Jason, I just want to be sure you really can be faithful.”
“Marry me and give me a reason to be,” I say as I look at her.
Her eyes go wide as she points. “Jason, watch the road!”
The taillights of the truck in front of me are red as it comes to a complete stop in front of me. Slamming on the brakes, I manage to come to a stop, millimeters away from the huge bumper that would’ve surely turned this little car into rubble.
“What the fuck?” I shout.
“Jason, there’s a wreck,” she says as she opens the car door and jumps out, running at full speed.
I put the car in park and find my entire body shaking as I run after her. “What are you doing?”
“We have to help,” she calls out over her shoulder.
My eyes catch a pool of red coming from a mangled mess of what used to be a car door. A few others are getting out of their cars to rush to where it seems two cars have plowed into each other.
The sound of children screaming and crying suddenly make me feel as if I’m drowning. I can’t breathe. Then I see one red-faced little girl pounding on the unbroken window of the little blue car she, and what seems to be her family, are in.
The doors are crushed and everyone else in that vehicle seems to be knocked out as they hang limply in their seat belts. Britt stops at the window, holding her hand to the glass.
“You’re going to be okay,” she tells the poor kid, who looks about three. Britt turns back to me. “In my purse is a small tool. It’s black, and it can break the glass. Will you get it?”
I turn around and haul ass to get the thing, rushing past people who are heading this way. Once I get to the car, I find the tool she was talking about and grab the little blanket she threw out of the backseat.
Making my way back, I can hear the sirens letting me know help is coming, and I have never felt more relieved to hear that sound in my life. More people have gathered around the window where Brittany waits for me.
“This is it, right?” I ask as I show it to her.
She nods at me, then looks back at the girl. “Move back, sweetie. He’s going to break the window and we’ll get you out.”
The kid moves back, just as I hear a man say, “That smells like gas.”
Breaking the glass, I can hear an odd sound inside the car. It’s the sound of only a child crying and screaming and nothing else, even though the car has four other people in it.
A chill runs through me as Britt touches my arm. “Pull off your jacket, baby. Lay it over the window so I can pull her through it without her getting cut.”
I jerk off my jacket and lay it over the broken glass. Then the little girl moves like lightning into Brittany’s arms. I can’t stop looking at the other people in the car.
There’s a little boy, about five. He’s hanging at an odd angle in his seatbelt. He was too small to be in that and that alone. As was this little girl who also wasn’t in a car seat. Her seatbelt is still intact. She must’ve slipped right out of it.
It’s a miracle she’s alive. As I look at the woman who was driving and another woman on the passenger side, I have to pray they’re still alive. It doesn’t seem they are, to me.
We step back as paramedics pull up. The crying girl is clinging to Brittany. After putting the blanket over the child, I put my arm around Britt and find her steady as a rock. Not shaking in the least bit.
“Are you okay, baby?”
She nods. “This isn’t about me.”
The woman is the most selfless person I think I’ve ever known. Looking at her as she holds the hysterical child and soothes the poor girl fills me with respect for her.
A police officer comes up to us. “Is this child part of the people in this car?”
I nod. “Yes, she is.”
He holds out his hands. “I’ll take her.”
Brittany shakes her head. “She’s very upset, sir. Please let me calm her down.”
He looks at me. “Don’t leave the scene with this child.”
I nod in agreement and he walks away to tend to other matters. The girl starts to ease her cries as she realizes she’s in safe arms. Brittany hums to her and I watch the child going limp in her arms.
The little girl murmurs, “I want my daddy.”
“Is that your momma who is driving?” Brittany asks her.
“Uh huh.”
“Ask the officer if he can try to call the father, Jason.”
I try to get to the officer who came up to us and finally manage to get to him just as they pull the driver out. I see a horrible gash on her head. Then my eyes move to the hole in her stomach.
Fighting my gag reflex, I touch the officer on his shoulder. He looks back at me. “Sir, you really shouldn’t see this.”
“Tell me about it. The kid said this is her mother. Do you think you could see if her cell phone is in there and call the kids’ father?”
“Sure.” He reaches over the pool of blood on what’s left of the seat and pulls out a phone with blood all over it. “Poor man.”
I nod and find a lump in my throat. “We’ll stay around until he gets here for his daughter. If he can come. We want to take care of her until some family comes for her.”
He gives me a thumbs up and I walk away from the scene, which is making me lightheaded. Tears fill my eyes as paramedics remove the little boy from the car and I see blood pouring out of the side of his head as they move him onto a stretcher.
From the other car, a paramedic looks up. “I need Halo Flight ASAP!”
“On it,” another man shouts.
People around me seem to be moving in slow motion. The sounds seem to be fading and I feel like I’m walking on air.
“Jason!” I hear Brittany’s voice, but can’t see her as darkness moves in from the sides. “Catch him!”
Several arms hold me. Then I’m lying on the pavement, looking up at the blue sky with three little wispy clouds floating through it like everything’s okay. It’s a beautiful day.
Some strange faces look down at me. Then there’s Britt’s. “Baby, are you okay?”
I can’t seem to answer her. I’m not okay. I’m not hurt or anything. I suppose I’m in shock.
She never lets go of the little girl as she kneels beside me. “It’s okay, Jason.”
But I know it’s not okay. I know there’s a man who is about to get a phone call that will fracture his world.
He may have been having an awesome day. He may have been having the shittiest day ever. All that doesn’t matter, as he’s about to find his world is completely different. In a matter of minutes, there are going to be people whose lives have been changed today.
And this could happen to me if I allow it to. If I allow myself to love, what’s about to happen to that man, this little girl’s father, could happen to me.
I don’t know if I can take that.