The Barricade Part Five
NICHOLAI
“That was the last word I ever said to her. Mercy. Then her father dragged her out of my office.”
Her eyes were full of fear and tears as she cried out to me, “Let him take me. Don’t fight him, Nic! I’ll talk to you soon.”
“And how long ago was that, exactly?” my psychiatrist asks me.
“Thirteen months,” I tell him. “We’ve been apart for thirteen, hard as hell, months. I have no idea where she is. I can’t even reach her father. The one good thing about it is the FBI has left us alone, completely. Not a peep has been heard from them about our company or the BBC.”
“I have to let you know, it’s quite possible, the young woman herself, may be the one hiding from you, Nicholai. The story you’ve told me is full of negative treatment of her. You might possibly never see her again, per her wishes. It’s been over a year. You should move on.” I watch him jot something on the notes where he’s recorded everything I’ve told him about mine and Natasha’s past.
He’s obviously not listened to how we spent our last night together. “I told you, we made love. She knew things weren’t going to be the way they initially began.”
“But, with her father’s disapproval, she may have decided it wouldn’t be worth the fight she’d have to put up with her family to stay with you. Your world is one not many parents would approve of for their daughters, nor sons for that matter. You have to understand, you come from a different upbringing than she did.” His light blue eyes search mine as if to find a part of me who understands him.
But there isn’t any. “I am what some would call, a catch, Dr. Freeman. A billionaire with a handsome face and athletic body. And she knew I was forgoing that lifestyle for her. I know she’s not hiding from me all on her own. I have people looking for her and I will continue my search for her. I came to you for help, not judgment.”
He leans forward, re-positioning himself in the plush cushioned chair. His graying hair falls into his wrinkled face a little, making him push it back as he says, “I am not judging you, Nicholai. I am simply telling you the young woman may have her family making it hard for her to be with you. I do not judge people. We all have our little vices and idiosyncrasies, that make us who we are after all.”
I still feel judged, though. “I should go. I need to blow off some steam.” As I get up to leave, I see him frowning. “The frown is for?”
“What are you going to do to blow off this steam?” he asks with his pen at the ready on the pad of paper.
“Take a jog and get some exercise,” I say with a smile. “That is how I blow off steam since she was taken from me. I’ve not stepped foot in the club or been to any event.”
“Cold turkey, huh?” he asks, noting that. “That often doesn’t last. One who goes that route to end vices usually ends up plunging back into the vice with a vengeance. You can expect your will to bend and most likely sooner rather than later.”
I came to the man for help and feel I’m getting anything but that. “Dr. Freeman, I feel as if I’ve paid you to merely hear my story. You’ve done nothing to help me alleviate my worries, my pain, my agony.”
“There is little that can be done about that. You need to let her go. She’s gone,” he tells me as if that’s simple to do.
“I can’t. I need her. I need her like I need air to breathe. I can see looking for mental help is not my answer. I need to find her and will never be whole again until I do. Even if I find her, only for her to tell me she wants nothing to do with me. I will move on if she doesn’t want me. Though that too will take a toll on me. I’ve never needed anyone before. She’s the first and only. I can’t just stop the need I have for her.”
“Then you will stay upset and frustrated, Nicholai,” he says as he pulls a small pad out of his jacket pocket. “I can write you a prescription that will ease your anxiety.”
“Don’t bother,” I tell him as I turn to leave. “I’ll not dampen my thoughts and fog my brain in order to calm myself. That will do me no good in finding her.”
“Her father works for the FBI,” he says, making me stop my exit. “It’s highly doubtful she’s any place you’d find her. Think about what I’ve said. At least think about it. Both of your fathers are against any union between you and Natasha Greenwell. That is a fact. Bringing her back here will only start your father on his mission to break you two up.”
With a growl, I leave his office, three thousand dollars later and with no relief. The walk to the elevator has me pounding the floor with each step I take. I’ve never been angrier.
How could he tell me to get over her? How does he not understand I can’t do that?
The doors open and out steps a tall blonde with a short skirt on. Her legs are long and lean and I look at them as she strides out of the elevator. “Hello,” she says with a soft voice.
“Good afternoon,” I say then get into the elevator and push the button to close the doors.
She stops and looks at me as the doors close, with a smile on her face and a small, flirtatious wave.
I merely nod at her then my eyes go to stare at the floor. Before Natasha, I would’ve been all over that woman. Since her disappearance, my libido has gone south. If I never find her, I don’t know what I’ll do.
Can life go on with never knowing where she is or if she’s okay? And will life be worth living if I never find that out?
I have so many questions that no one seems to know the answers to. All I know is my heart pounds more than it ever has. My head aches more often then it doesn’t. My body feels numb most of the time. This is no way to live. I feel as if I’m just taking in air and little else.
The vibration of my cell phone in my jacket pocket has me drawing it out, ever hopeful it will be Natasha on my screen. Instead, it’s a number I don’t recognize. “Grimm, here.”
“Nicholai, I need to meet with you,” a man’s voice tells me.
“Who is this?” I ask as I step out of the elevator.
“My name is unimportant. You need only to know one thing, Natasha sent me.”
NATASHA
A cool breeze blows my way as I sit in front of the open window at the top of the castle that’s become my prison. The Aegean Sea is sparkling under the sun’s rays. My father has one of his friends keeping me here, in Thessaloniki, Greece.
He took me away from Nic one morning about thirteen months ago. He stayed right with me as he took me onto an FBI jet that moved me from place to place, I suppose hoping to make tracking my whereabouts hard.
The first thing my father did was destroy my cell phone. With that, he destroyed any chances of Nic getting to me. I’ve been under psychiatric care each day to rid me of the brainwashing my father claims Nic did to me.
He tells me, and anyone else who will listen to him, that he did not raise a woman who’d live that kind of a life. He tells me I’m better than that and Nicholai Grimm is one evil man.
No matter the things he says or the psychiatrist, for that matter, I still love Nic and miss him all the time. I don’t feel as if I’ve been brainwashed in the least. I feel I’ve been kidnapped, though. I feel my life has been taken away from me.
With no phones in the castle, I’ve had no way to attempt to contact Nic. No one will send my letters to his company, the only address I could think of to send letters to in an attempt to let him know where I am. I wrote several letters to his personal assistant, who is also his cousin, as I knew they’d never allow anything to be sent to Nic.
The lady who oversees me took them from me with promises to mail them. Only she never did as I found bits and pieces of them in the trash. She is nice to me as are all the people my father has holding me prisoner in this castle that has been abandoned for years.
I think it’s highly doubtful anyone is aware six people are living here. There’s no electricity, no candles light the night for us. When the sun goes down, we all go to bed.
There’s no television or radio, nothing. To entertain myself, I’ve been given many notebooks, pens, and pencils. I draw some and write stories some. I write letters to Nic that I know he’ll never see. I’m more than sad and lonely.
My father visits me once a week. He’s not even told my mother where I am. Only that I am safe. His plan is to keep me here until the good doctor thinks I’ve been successfully rehabilitated.
So, I lie about everything I tell the doctor. I tell him I know what Nic did was wrong and I just want to go back to college and get on with my life, leaving Nic out of it, completely.
The man knows I’m lying. He won’t say it to my face but he’s not told my father I’m cured of Nic’s brainwashing either. That tells me he’s most likely having someone snooping through my things when I’m not in my room to find out what I’ve been writing about.
My newest idea is to stop writing about Nic completely. But it’s damn hard not to express my feelings. Now, I express them mentally, and that is all.
My father, being the master interrogator that he is, had me telling him everything about me and Nic. I don’t know if he manages to mix truth serum into my food or what but I find myself unable to lie to the man.
He hasn’t asked me about the incident when I was a teen, though. I suppose somewhere deep inside of him, he doesn’t want to know the truth about that. He’d have to feel shame for hurting a man who didn’t deserve it. My father doesn’t like to feel shame.
I’ve written several letters to the man whose life I ruined. Those too were never sent as I have no idea where he lives anymore. But I wrote them in an attempt to appease my conscience. I don’t know if it’s helped or not.
I still feel numb about that time in my life. I’d assume it hasn’t helped. So, today I’ve decided to talk to the shrink about that part of my life. There is confidentiality between us. I do believe he’s a man of his word.
I overheard he and my father getting into a heated argument when he refused to tell my father anything about our sessions. My father is a hard man to say no to and that made me feel a bit better about anything I tell the doctor.
A knock at the door signals someone is about to unlock it and come inside. I have no idea what the exact time is as I have no device to let me know that. I watch the sun and guess but that’s about all I can do.
The woman, who speaks no English, brings me my afternoon meal of a cheese sandwich and boiled potatoes. A pot of warm tea is on the tray and she places it on the side table.
I give her a nod and she returns one to me. “Thank you,” I say.
She merely nods again and leaves. I hear the door lock as it’s padlocked from the outside. A metal rod was placed between the stone wall and the heavy wooden door, it runs through a metal sheathing they put a lock on to hold me in the room with no worries of me getting out.
When you add in they’ve put me at the tip-top of the castle, I have no way to get out. Although I can see the genius in it, I hate it. I hate everything about this.
My birth control pills were left behind, sending my body into an upheaval of hormones. My cycle is completely off and has me doubling over with cramps often. The way they deal with feminine necessities here is not a thing I like at all.
As I sip on the warm tea that’s on the bitter side, I start to feel tired. A nap follows every meal for some reason. I don’t know if I’m sick or what the problem is. I just know it’s hard to think straight.
Another knock comes to the door and it opens. A young man is standing at it. “I am here for you, Natasha.”
He’s of average height and weight. There’s a gleam in his blue eyes that tells me he’s got some kind of a secret as he steps into the room, closing the door behind him. I hear someone lock the door from the other side.
My mind is swimming and I suddenly realize there must be something in the tea that’s making me feel this way. “Who are you?”
He moves slowly toward the bed then sits on it. I’m at the small table, sitting in a chair. My eyes follow him but I’m having trouble keeping my focus.
“Your doctor sent me to you. He thinks you need another man to help you get over the one you were taken from. I am to be that man, Natasha. My name is Nic.”
I shudder at the name and shake my head. “No! No, I want no other man. You should leave.”
When he pulls a line of condoms out of his pocket, he grins at me. “I think you might be in need of some sexual release, yes?”
“No!” I try to stand up but I fall right back on my ass. “Leave!”
“But I cannot leave. They have locked me in with you. For the night.” His words leave me stunned. They’ve gone too far!
“I will not do anything with you. Put the condoms away and leave me the hell alone,” I shout at him.
My eyes are feeling heavy even though I’m furious. He pulls something else out of his pocket and comes toward me. “I have this to help stimulate your libido, Natasha.”
“No!” I shout but quickly find that was a huge mistake.
The pill is placed in my mouth and his hand covers my mouth, holding it in. I feel the pill dissolving on my tongue and gag a bit with the acrid taste. He doesn’t move his hand until he sees me swallowing the nasty thing down.
A smile moves over his face as he steps back. “I’ll wait in the bed with no clothes on. You’ll be coming to me soon.”
All I have is the damn tea, I know is drugged now, to drink to wash the taste from my mouth. I take a drink then ask, “What did you give me?”
“What do you call it in your country?” he asks as if I should know. “Here, we call it ecstasy.”
I’m Fucked!