BRITTANY
The memories flood my mind as Jason looks at me like he’s going to be sick. “What kind of video, Britt?”
“Don’t make me say it.” I swallow the bile that’s crept into my throat.
Elmer Fartenberry was a drunken mistake. I didn’t realize he was such a huge mistake until just now, but he was definitely a mistake of enormous proportions.
His phone makes a little ding sound, and he looks at it. “He’s sent me a text.”
I look at the phone with him as he opens the text and I see there’s a video attached. Above the file are a few words from Elmer. Just a little sample of what I have.
“Don’t open that,” I beg.
With one swift motion, he’s already opened the file and the noises coming from his phone are making me sick. Huffing and puffing and the sound of leather smacking flesh fills my ears and the bile I swallowed back comes right back up my throat.
Running to the bathroom, I find myself feeling a little faint.
As I release all I have inside of me, I feel Jason pulling my hair back. “It’s all going to be okay, Britt. I’ll make this little bastard go away for you. Don’t worry.”
I hear another ding and grab a towel off the rack to wipe my mouth and the sweat off my face that seems to have sprouted up all over my body. The way Jason is looking at his phone has me even more worried.
“Crap,” he mutters. He puts the phone down and pulls me to him. “Don’t worry, sweet potato.”
“That video is horrible. That man is vile. I’m so screwed!” I start crying and find myself wanting to disappear. “I want to move to another planet, Jason!”
He holds me tight and pats my back. “Britt, you aren’t running for president and neither am I. This video doesn’t matter in the least. Who cares if he puts it out there?”
“My God!” I pull back and look at him in shock. “I fucking care!”
“Yeah, I can see that.” He pulls me close again.
“What was the other message?” I ask in a muffled voice, as he’s got me so close to him, my face is smashed against his wide chest.
“Oh, nothing.” He rubs my back. “I can deal with that. Don’t you worry about a thing, sugar britches.”
“I have to worry. If you see the whole thing—oh, no! I can’t let that happen! You’ll leave me for sure! Oh, God!” I fall apart.
The tears can’t stop. The sobs are nearly choking me and the man just holds me tighter, shushing me as he rocks with me.
“Come on, baby,” he says with a low tone that’s supposed to comfort me, I think. “You can’t shock me. Not me.”
Oh, but I bet I can!
When I woke up that next morning, I recalled most things. Not a wedding, though. Somewhere, in the middle of all the things he and I and some other man did, things went hazy. There was a lot of drinking and more than a few drugs being passed around, after all.
“You’ll never look at me the same way again if you see it all.” I shudder as a tremor runs through me. “There’s no way you would. You’d never want me to be the mother of your children, much less your wife. Oh, God!” I bawl like a child who just saw her puppy get run over.
Picking me up in his strong arms, he carries me to the bed and sits down, leaving me on his lap as he strokes my hair. “I’ll give the asshole any amount of money he wants. I’ll use that, plus a bit of physical persuasion, to keep him from putting that video on YouTube like he’s threatening to do.”
“Is that what the other text was about?” I ask, as I try to suck it up and stop crying.
“Don’t worry about it. I got this, Britt. You can count on me. You need to get ready and go to New York and take care of that business and I’ll fly out to L.A. and take care of the business out there. Don’t worry.”
“You know, you’ve told me not to worry about a million times now and it hasn’t done a thing to help me. So lose that expression, please. I’m in deep shit, Jason. You have no idea. I think I could even be charged with a crime for what I did.”
He laughs and runs his fingers along my jaw. “Princess, come on! You’re making too much out of this. It’s just sex.”
“Yeah, but some things are illegal in some states. I think so, anyway.” I sniffle and wipe my eyes with the palm of my hand.
My stomach aches and my head hurts. I think I may need to kill myself. I’ve never thought of doing that before, but now it may just be necessary. The humiliation won’t be a thing I can overcome.
I guess it’s a great thing I’m not pregnant. God knows what he’s doing, I guess.
“Come on, Pumpkin. I’ll get you a jet to New York and line me up one to go to L.A. I’ll have this taken care of in no time. I can be very persuasive. You’ll see,” he says as he stands up and takes me with him.
Placing me on my feet, he lifts my chin to look at him and kisses my cheeks. I look at him and know that he’ll go to that awful little troll, Elmer. He’s going to see what a horrible person I have been and he’ll be done with me.
Pulling my dress up to take it off, I sniffle again as I say, “Make love to me, Jason. One more time. I need to feel you love me one more time.”
He laughs and pulls my dress back down. “You’re being ridiculous, baby. You and I are going to make love countless more times in our future. I can’t believe you think I’d judge you so harshly.”
With a slap to my ass, he turns away from me. “You will,” I say.
“No, I won’t,” he says as he chuckles and walks away from me. “Finish packing.”
In shock, I stand perfectly still as I watch him get his bag out of the closet. “Make sure you get everything, Jason. We won’t be coming back here.”
“Yeah, I know. There’s no reason to, anyway. I’m going to let my lawyer handle Beatrice from here on out. After I have my talk with Mr. Fartenberry, my lawyer will be taking care of him as well.”
I feel the need to inform him of certain things about Elmer so he doesn’t get completely blindsided. “Mister is kind of too much to call the kid, Jason. He’s barely eighteen.”
He stops and turns back to look at me with a lopsided grin. “Okay, then, Pumpkin. You did a little cradle robbing. Is that the big deal? He might be barely eighteen, but he was old enough to consent to a marriage.”
I nod. He needs to know a little more about the guy, though. “Um, he’s also kind of unattractive.” I gulp back the lump in my throat. “Not like my usual conquests.”
“So an ugly young man,” he says with a laugh. “No worries, my dear. I promise not to judge.”
I clench my jaw as I say the rest, “He has one leg that’s shorter than the other. There are several large moles on his face. There’s a red birthmark on his forehead that’s shaped like the state of Georgia, and he has …” His stare is stopping me.
“Has what?” he asks, “Please, go on.”
Sliding my foot over the floor as I look down, I mumble, “Breasts.”
“I’m sorry, baby. You mumbled I think I heard you wrong.”
I look up and grit my teeth. “Breasts. He has large breasts.”
With a shake of his head, like he’s trying to clear it, he asks, “How is that?”
“He took some drug for his hyperactivity and it gave him breasts. He’s a C-cup.”
An odd laugh comes out of him as he looks at me. My face heats with embarrassment. “You said you wouldn’t judge me, Jason.”
“No, no, I’m not,” he says as he tries to stop laughing. He walks toward me and takes my hand and pulls me to sit with him on the bed. “Tell me about it all.”
“No way. I can’t!”
“Baby, what made you hook up with this guy?” he asks with real concern in his eyes.
“Drugs and alcohol. Maybe a little bit of feeling sorry for him,” I mumble as I look away from him.
“So, a good deed gone wrong, then?” he asks as he pulls me by my chin to look at him again.
“So very wrong. If I could go back in time and could change only one thing, that would be the thing I change.”
“Wow! Okay, then. I’ll prepare myself for meeting him. I do know his half-sister rather well. Funny she never mentioned him.”
“Not really. Once you meet him, you’ll understand.” Then it occurs to me that he’s going to be around a woman he’s had sex with. My wheels start spinning and I don’t want him to go. “How long did you know her?”
“Not very long. She was a new one.” He gets back up, leaving me sitting on the bed.
“I don’t want you to see her,” I say as I get up, too.
He turns back to me slowly. “You don’t trust me?”
I’m not sure what to say to that. Then I just say it, “No.”
Coming back to me, he stops right in front of me and asks, “What do we have, Britt? Without trust, what do we really have?”
“Well, you haven’t been around anyone of the opposite sex alone yet. So how can I be sure you’ve really put that behind you?” I ask as I search his eyes.
The way his chest deflates makes me feel bad. “Britt, we have to have trust. I trust you.”
“Why shouldn’t you? I never cheated on you.”
A long sigh comes out of his mouth as he looks like he has no idea of what to say to me. His hands move up and down my arms as he looks into my eyes. “I can’t make you trust me. I can’t change the past. I can’t do anything. I have to go deal with this guy. If I don’t, then your honor is at stake. You have to deal with business. And what kind of life will we have if I can never go anywhere without you?”
“You make a great point. But it doesn’t change how I feel.” I turn away from him and walk away to finish packing my bags.
“I’m going, Britt. I have to do this for you. I hope you can learn to trust me, or we’re not going to make it.”
As I pack my things, I think about what he’s said. When he sees that video which I know he’s going to see, I know he’ll think differently about me.
Each piece of clothing I pack has me feeling as if it’s a stone in the wall that surrounded my heart before he came back into my life and knocked it all down. Things are about to flip for us. He doesn’t seem to know it, but I do.
“Okay, Jason. You go. I do appreciate your help with the little troll. We’ll see how things go from there.” I zip up my suitcase and feel his arms go around me from behind.
His lips press against my neck. “I’ll meet you back in New York at your place when I get done with the troll. Then we’ll make our plans. I want to get a place that’s only ours, together. A fresh start for us both. We’re going to leave our shady pasts behind us and move forward.”
His body pressed against my back sends need through me. A need I wish I didn’t have. It’s going to be so hard to live without him.
I know that’s going to happen when he finds out how bad I’ve really been.