CHAPTER 4
I stared at him as he sheathed himself with the condom that he tore open with shaking hands. I was tipsy from the wine, bordering on sloppy drunk. However, I was primed and ready for this as he stared at me and stalked towards the bed. I’d never seen Cole in this way before, animalistic in his need. He knelt down before me and kissed me hard before he pressed me down to the pillows and parted my thighs. “Ris…I need you,” Cole told me as he positioned himself against my entrance and looked down as he slipped inside. “Fuck, you’re so tight.”
It had been a while since I’d slept with anybody and I cried out as he filled me with his thick cock. I rocked against him to bring him deeper inside of me as Cole drove himself inside of me, thrust after hard thrust. He rested against my chest as he kissed me clumsily in between thrusts and I moaned and whimpered as my body came close to releasing. “Oh, Cole. Don’t stop,” I begged him before I let out a keening sound and exploded all around him. I closed my eyes tightly as I held on tightly to him and breathed out as he jerked against me and stilled as he groaned out my name.
Heat flushed through my body, and I felt like I was flying for a moment before I felt his lips against mine. Cole was breathing heavily and his damp body heavy over mine before he rolled onto his back.
I drunkenly tried to compare the men, but I was caught up in Cole right now. I’d only experienced casual sex as well as a few relationships, some of which were scorching at the moment. I can’t say that I ever felt like I did right now. I moved to stumble to the bathroom and clean up before I crawled back into bed to wrap my arm around Cole. He had nuzzled his face against mine before he told me that he was going to use the restroom and be right back.
I was half-asleep when he returned, and Cole kissed me. “Want me to stay?” His voice was a soft whisper and I nodded sleepily as I snuggled against him again.
I dreamed about Cole as I slept restlessly, always feeling arms around me when I’d come to. I thought I was dreaming that as well until I woke up and looked around the room to see the sunlight peeking through the blinds. I ran my hands through my hair and felt a headache that could only come from too much wine.
I rolled over to feel a warm body beside me and fully opened my eyes to see Cole sleeping naked beside me. I gasped softly and curled up into a ball as I mentally checked over my body, feeling the aches and sore muscles from good sex as I blushed. I remembered some of the night before in vivid detail and frowned as I pictured dinner in my mind. Mom had married a guy that I’d slept with, which was so awkward. I didn’t even know how to deal with that so I dealt with the next issue on hand.
Cole…and the fact I’d thrown myself at him and slept with him.
I looked him over, admiring his muscles and toned planes for a moment. There was no denying that Cole was a gorgeous man, but he wasn’t necessarily mine to have. We were best friends and had been since we met two years ago. I could think of times that we might have flirted a little here and there, but it was never serious, and we always ended up with other people. That’s how it was supposed to be.
It was different, though, and I felt anxiety wash over me as I closed my eyes. Now I had two nights to regret, and I stood and grabbed my robe from the bathroom. This called for coffee and sobriety.
I made a pot of coffee in my pot that Mom and I bought when I got this apartment and checked the fridge. If it was any other morning and Cole crashed here after drinking or something, I’d make breakfast. We’d laugh and pig out, and it would be light and casual. I decided to go with that now and pulled out bacon and eggs, Cole’s favorite. I had no idea if he had practice today though I wasn’t ready to wake him up. I looked into the living room and saw his clothes in a heap along with mine as I blushed.
I cooked quietly, sipping coffee to wake myself up and bring back the unfortunate reality. My phone rang, and I glanced at the screen to see that it was Mom, a call that I ignored.
I looked down to flip the bacon when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I glanced over and saw Cole with a towel around his waist as he went to grab his clothes. “Hi,” I said as he gave me a long look and nodded. “Hungry?”
“Always. How are you feeling?” Cole asked as I frowned and thought about my answer.
“I think I’m better than last night. I was upset…I’m sorry for calling you over like that,” I said as I started piling the meat on a plate lined with paper towels. I couldn’t look at him, fearing that I’d fucked things up.
“I’d come running for you anytime you needed me, Larisa,” Cole assured me as pulled on his pants behind the door the separated the kitchen from the living room. “You know that.”
“I didn’t necessarily have what happened in mind,” I admitted as I saw his feet move in front of me.
“Do you regret it?” Cole asked as I reached for the eggs and started cracking them into the oiled pan. Cole loved his eggs in bacon grease, and I’d learned to eat them like that over the years.
“I…I’m not sure. Do you?” I asked as I watched the eggs sizzle in the pan.
“Ris, it was a great night. I’ve never felt anything like that before. I understand that you were drinking and upset, though, and I’m not sure if that’s what you wanted. You’re so beautiful, and I should have stopped it. But I didn’t, and I need to know if you are you okay with that?” Cole asked as I focused on turning the food over with my spatula. “Larisa?”
I turned them and looked up at him with a forced smile. “I’m okay with it. It was great, you know?” I grabbed some plates and slid two eggs on each one along with some bacon before sliding some bread into the toaster. “Coffee?”
“I’ll get it,” Cole told me as he poured a cup and added some cream. “Things are going to be weird now, aren’t they?”
“They don’t have to be. I mean, we’ve both had sex before with other people and moved past it, right?” I looked at him for affirmation, realizing that my feelings for Cole had officially crossed the line that I’d drawn in the sand. I’d had a crush on him for some time but always hid behind the fact that we were such good friends.
“I guess, yeah. That’s what you want to do?” His face looked disappointed, and I turned as the toast popped up, buttering the slices and putting one on each plate.
“It’s best, Cole. We’re not like that towards each other.” I stared at him as he walked heavily to the couch and sat down with his plate. I grabbed my breakfast and coffee and followed him, choosing to sit in the chair across from him. I couldn’t stop the memories from replaying through my mind of last night, and I took a quick drink of the coffee as I looked away, towards the television that Cole was changing channels on as he scowled.
He ate quickly and made some excuse about meeting the team before he left. Cole was cold and didn’t even look at me as he walked out, and I sighed. It had gone from bad to worse in a matter of hours. I went back and tore the sheets off of my bed, washing the scent of Cole and of us off of them as I allowed self-hatred to fill me.
God, I was just messing things up left and right. I spent the rest of the day miserable and studying, pretending that Cole wasn’t ignoring me. It wasn’t that he was always in touch with me, being busy with football and school anyway, but I knew that things were different now. I didn’t know what I would do without him since I didn’t click with a lot of girls and was usually shy with guys. Cole had always been different for me.
Mom called that evening to talk about the upcoming Thanksgiving week, which I had off from school. I agreed to come home even though I dreaded spending any time with Brett. I hoped that I would get past this uncomfortable feeling at some point with him since he was my stepfather. Ugh, what an awful thought. My life should be a movie on the Lifetime channel.
I had two weeks until I went home and just decided to get through it the best that I could.